Dr Charles Stanley - Discovering Our Real Needs - Part 1

0:00Jesus Christ is the Lord of the Church. He's the head of the Church. Every single believer belongs to the body of Christ. It has nothing to do with denominations, though you may choose to belong to a particular denomination. There's nothing wrong with that. But ultimately, we belong to the body of Christ. And if you'll think again also, the Bible says that you and I belong to the family of God. That is, we're all sons and daughters of the living God. So this whole idea of belonging is very important to God. He's the one whose place that desire and our heart that we belong. What are your greatest needs? Many of us have more than a few and we could probably generate a long list. But would your list include intangible things like love, purpose or a sense of belonging? Today on In Touch, the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley, we present his 1998 series titled God has an answer for our unmet needs. And we begin by looking in the scriptures to discover our real needs. Do you have unmet needs in your life? Well, let me ask

1:07your question. Can you identify what those unmet needs are? Or is it something you just feel done inside and you can't quite tell what it is? How does that affect your relationship to other people? How does it affect your relationship to all mighty God? How are you going about meeting those unmet needs in your life? Well, what I want to talk about in this particular message in this entire series is simply this. And that is God can meet those unmet needs in your life. He is the one who can meet them no matter what is going on. The problem is often times we don't even know what they are. But we do have a God who is going to know what they are. But we do have a God who can meet those unmet needs. And I want you to turn if you will to Philippians chapter 4 and verse 19 and you'll recall that the Apostle Paul is talking here about how God has blessed him, the things that he's learned. He's writing this from a prison and he says he's

2:07learned to be content in all circumstances. He's learned that he can do all things through Christ and he's learned also that God will supply all needs. And so in this 19th verse, as he comes down to the latter part of this last chapter, here's what he says. And my God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. And that is a very simple promise. It's an awesome promise if you now look at it. And there's a way that you and I have to claim those promises from God. So what I'd like to talk about in this message is this. And that is discovering the real need. And if you'll notice, for example, in Romans 8, chapter 8 and verse 32, the Apostle Paul says something here that all of us should remember. He says, he who did not spare his own son but delivered him up for his all, how will he not also with him freely give us all things? God is a good God. He desires to give us not only what we need in life, but he also

3:08desires to give us those things that our heart desires. Those pleasures that fit in to who we are as children of God and how he wants us to live. And so the first issue we have to deal with is this, is this a need in my life or is it a desire? If it is a need, certainly God is promised to meet those needs. And suddenly if it is a desire, I have a legitimate right to ask God, Lord, here's what I would like to have or here's some pleasure. I'd like to participate in knowing that if it's not listened, if it is unscriptural, God's not going to answer that prayer. If it is unscriptural and God were to give it, that wouldn't be God being good. God is good and because of his goodness, he gives us not only what we need, but he also gives us what we desire when what we desire is good for us. He said, there'll be no want to those who obey him or who fear the Lord. And the fear him means to obey him. And so if I am committed to being obedient to him, I ask him, ask him whatever I will. And I know that if I'm walking in obedience to him, what I'm going to ask will be his will. And if

4:09it is not, he will show me that it's not. And he will show me what I do have the privilege of asking for. So the first thing we have to do is distinguish between needs and those desires. The second thing we have to deal with here is this. And that is we have to distinguish between what our surface or external needs and what our internal needs. That is what needs in my life are internal and what are external. Now most people spend most of their time trying to deal with external needs, surface needs, for example, what we wear, what we drive, where we live, all those very definite needs. And there's nothing wrong with those. And that God something understands that. He said in that sixth chapter of Matthew in the seminal amount, he said, don't be anxious for all these things, food, clothing, and children. He said, don't be anxious. Don't strive for these because your father knows what you have need of. And the apostle Paul said here in this fourth chapter, Philippians, there was a time also when he had need and he was commending them. He said, I know how

5:10to get along with humble means. I know how to get along with prosperity. In every circumstance, I've learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. So therefore God understands that we have needs and he desires to meet those needs. Now the issue is this. Am I only interested in God meeting my external needs, the surface needs, these material and physical things that we talked about, or am I equally as interested and do I realize that it may be that my true genuine need is not something external, is not material, it's not physical, but something internal. Maybe it is a spiritual need, some emotional need. I do believe that most people spend probably 95% of their time trying to deal with external needs, material needs, physical needs, never realizing that what is motivating the bird desire for some physical material need is a spiritual need and emotional need on the inside. They never even thought about. And even if they thought about it, they'd probably be scared to death to even begin to consider it. For example,

6:14let's say that here's a man who's working seven days to eight hours a week. You ask that man, well sir, why do you work so long? Why do you work so hard? You don't have to do that. Well, love my family, want to provide for my wife, want to provide for my children, want to give them the things in life they need, want to give them the things in life that they enjoy. I love my family. That's what he's going to tell you. But if he looked on the inside of himself, here's what he would see. What is driving him is not love for his family. What's driving him is not a desire to provide for them or to give them pleasure. What's driving him is this deep sense of need to be recognized, to be accepted, to somehow to achieve in life and somehow to succeed in life. And so what is he doing? He doesn't even realize what's driving him. He thinks on the surface that what is driving him and what is forcing him, so to speak, to work seven and eighty hours a week is his love for his family. That's not even his need at all. His innermost need is an emotional need to

7:16be accepted, to be approved of, to be recognized, to be an achiever and to be recognized as a high achiever. Here is one of those internal needs he's never discovered. If he were to stop and look at it, he'd probably be shocked. But my friend, there are many people out there slaving away, driving themselves in different directions in their life, not even realizing what is the deepest motivation. What is it that's driving them to work like that? Or, for example, here's a woman you ask her, well, what is your unmet need in your life? My unmet need is I want to be loved. I want to be loved by my husband. That is the unmet need in my life. Talk to your husband. Here's some end is doing everything in the man can possibly do to express genuine love and intimacy toward his wife. And so you say, well, what's the problem here? Here he is loving this woman, trying to love her, express his love to her, wants to spend time with her, wants to provide for her what she needs, wants to take care wherever she wants to go and what happens. She doesn't feel love. You know what the need is? The need is not that she needs her husband to love her. She needs to resolve an unresolved

8:21conflict between her and her father. It doesn't make any difference. How many men she may raise? It doesn't make any difference. What that man does for her, no matter how much he may try to love her, they'll always be that sense of need because the issue and the real need is not the love of this man, but an unresolved conflict because she never felt love. She never felt the proof. She never felt accepted by her father. He cannot be her father. And so what happens? She goes through life feeling unloved. So what happens after a while? She walks away or she gets a divorce. She tries to find somebody else who will be able to love her. You know what happens? The next guy may be a jerk or he may be one of the finest men on face of the earth. You know what? She'll come up with the same answer. I want to be loved. You're not loving me. You can't love me. You know what the problem is? Problem isn't men. Problem isn't a man's love. The problem is the unresolved conflict until it's settled. Now, never be a sense of being able to feel loved. A need that is beneath the surface and internal. Here's the kid, for example, grows up in a pretty good home. He gets out there and is rebellious. Is he or she can be? The issue is looking for

9:27acceptance. Why? Because back at home, father never in any way complimented him. Father just ignored him. So what happens? He's got to have attention. He has a desire to be accepted. He's going to get it one way or the other. He wants recognition. He wants to feel like that he's a somebody. And so when we talk about God and his desire to meet our needs and that God will indeed meet the needs of his children, we have to discover what those needs are or we go through life wondering, why do I feel this way? Why? Why? Why not not have it in peace? Why do I feel these feelings that other people have told me when the issue is not something on the surface, but it is something deep down inside? Now, let's look at this whole issue of addictions for a moment. So we're talking about genuine needs and desires and addictions. There are people who are addicted to all kinds of things. You've heard people say, for example, I just, I need to know cigarette. I need to know smoke. I need a drink. Well, is this the real genuine need? Well, at this point in their life because of some action

10:27on their part, because of their attempt to satisfy some internal spiritual, emotional need, they have begun to smoke a drink or whatever it might be. Now, what I want to do is I want to talk about the three essential universal needs that every single person has. Needs that God has placed into the life of every person. And underlying those three awesome needs that God has given all of us is an underlying foundational need. So what I'd like to do is to talk about these three needs. Remember what the Apostle Paul said? He said, my God, I want to give you three words. The first word is belonging. God has placed in every single person

11:32desire and a sense of belongingness. We all want to belong. God implanted that in the life of every one of us. And so you look, for example, in the very first book of the Bible, when God created man and he created all the animals and all the creation and so forth and everything that God had done, he said, it's all good except one thing. Adam is alone. He needs somebody with whom he can belong to them and they can belong to him, someone who can speak his language, someone with whom he can be intimate, someone with whom he can feel oneness with. And so what did God do? God gave him a woman, Eve. And so you look at the whole creation and from that point on, we see that God has given to Adam a person with whom he can belong and then you go down through the scriptures and down to the centers and what do you find? You find, not only did he give Adam Eve, but he created the family. And so we all belong to a family. We want to have this feeling of belonging to a family. Well, that wasn't enough. For example, we all have, we belong to a nation

12:35and of course most of all, we belong to the church, that is the body of Christ. All of us who believe us, we belong to the most awesome organization, the most awesome entity there is, that is the body of Christ. Jesus Christ is the Lord of the church. He's the head of the church. Every single believer belongs to the body of Christ. Now, it has nothing to do with denominations, though you may choose to belong to particular denomination. There's nothing wrong with that. But ultimately, we belong to the body of Christ. And if you'll think again, also the Bible says that you and I belong to the family of God. That is, we're all sons and daughters of the living God. So this whole idea of belonging is very important to God. He's the one who's placed that desire in our heart that we belong. When I look for example, the life of Jesus, I think about this. Jesus could have come upon the scene and after 30 years in his family, he could have begun his ministry by himself, but he didn't do that. You know what he did? What did he do? He called 12 men to be around him. So he belonged, listen, Jesus belonged to a group. Each man in that group belonged to a group.

13:40They were Jesus disciples. They were his apostles. And so what happens is you look at the life of Jesus for 30 years, he stayed at home. He belonged to his family. When he began his ministry, what did he do? He chose 12 men around him. And so they worked and they walked together. They belong to each other. When you think about the life of Jesus, for example, you think about how often he would call the children to him or the children would come running into him and the disciples were saved. Well, now, now let's move along. This is Jesus Christ, the Son of God. And he doesn't have time for that. Jesus had suffered, allowed the children to come to me. Why? Because he wanted the sense of belonging to them and they wanted to belong. They wanted to feel his arms around them. And so therefore, you look at the life of the Lord Jesus Christ belonging was a very important part. Look at our relationship to God. What does he cause? He causes his family with the sons and daughters of God. We talk about being reconciled to God that is brought back into an intimate relationship with him. That's what redemption is all about. And when you think about all that God has created

14:42for us to make us and to help us feel like we belong. He says we are joint ares with Jesus Christ. Belonging a sense of belonging is extremely important. I think about there are probably many, many hindrances to a feeling of belongingness. You know what? One of them, one of them is sin. Now watch this carefully. Sin is a separator. What does it say? Your sins have separated you from God. Here's what people don't realize. People don't realize this. That sin has within its very nature separation. Sometimes you and I have felt estranged from God. Sometimes it was not because of sin, but sometimes it has been. That was you sin against God. Something happens. What happens? That closeness, that intimacy is broken. And so we no longer feel this sense of belonging that he's my Heavenly Father. I love him and he loves me. You say, well, I know that's still true, but you know what? It's still true, but you don't feel it. Why? Because sin by its very nature separates.

15:44The Bible from Genesis, the Revelation. Look what happened to God in the evening. Sin separated, Eve and Adam from God. It separated the two of them. He is blaming her for what he did. Sin is by its very nature separate. So when somebody says, well, what does sin have to do with sin? Make a person feel isolated from God. And this is why people will say, well, yeah, I used to be safe. Still, love you ever have been. I used to be close to God. Not now. Why not? Well, I got off track somewhere. I'll tell you what happened. When you sin against God, this feeling of separation and non-belongingness, this rejection is a part of it. And when Paul said, my God shall supply all your needs and corners, riches, and glory in Christ Jesus. Feelings of rejection. When people grow up feeling rejection because of something their parents say, or even after they become adults, people reject them for one reason or the other. Feelings of rejection or painful feelings. And what they say is, you don't belong. Shut you out. I salute you. Move your side. The

16:44rejection is never a godly act on our part no matter what. The first need. God has placed in our heart a sense of belonging. Now let me ask a question. On the basis of all of this, what is the deepest need you have in your life? If you've never trusted Jesus, your deepest need is a personal relationship with Him through Christ. That's the first need. If you are a child of God, and you've thought about the surface and external needs that you have, but you've also begun to think this morning about those internal, those things down inside that have bothered you for a long time and maybe you never, you just didn't even want to deal with them. You didn't even have faced them. What is the most troubling, unmet need in your life right now? Are you willing to look? I just want to challenge you to be willing to examine your heart, your emotions, your feelings

17:50to find out what's the real need. And remember this, our Heavenly Father is going to meet that need. He's going to show you how to think right about who you are and how he wants to operate in your life. You know what? You're going to get free. You're going to get liberated. You're going to begin to be able to look anybody, square in their face and know in your heart. Listen, I am somebody important in the eyes of God. I am comfortable to do whatever God wants me to do. And most of all, I belong to my Heavenly Father. You know what, friend? You will get set free for the asking. You will get set free. And so that's what I want to pray for you right now. Father in Jesus' name, I pray the Holy Spirit will take this simple message. Drive it home to the heart of every person who has heard it and who will hear it. That you will grant courage to every single person to look inside,

18:50examine, allow you to show them what those needs are. And then assure them, you will meet those needs. You will set them free. They will become the persons you are dayning them to be. But we ask it in Jesus' name and for His sake. Amen. Dr. Stanley's message reminded us that God will meet a believer's every need. Ask the Lord to help you identify your underlying needs and be faithful to watch and provide. We'll hear more about this tomorrow and to listen again, click today on radio at ntouch.org. While you're there, you can keep learning about how our needs are met in Jesus Christ when you search our online resources. And open the store page if you'd like to order a copy of today's complete message, discovering our real needs. It's also included in our teaching set, God has an answer for our unmet needs. Again, log on to ntouch.org. You can also call or text 1-800-INTouch.

20:00To write to us address your letter to ntouch. Post Office Box 7900, Atlanta, Georgia, 303-57. Do you sometimes feel like you're doing your best but still falling short? Some help is just ahead. In today's moment with Charles Stanley. You don't need to be perfect for your children. Can you get over this way? That's it. But with just a little encouragement. We are a pro at this, aren't you? A lot of laughter. Some time and attention and a bit of patience. You'll pass along confidence and affirm connection with God that lasts a lifetime. In his book, Man of God, Dr. Charles Stanley helps us understand what it takes to grow into a man after God's own heart. Order your copy today at ntouch.org-sthor. Do you take sermon notes on the back of your bulletin? Jot scripture references on the offering envelope? Start keeping things in one place, one organized place, with the ntouch note takers journal. This leather soft journal contains 150

21:05pages for taking notes and includes Dr. Stanley's 30 life principles. Find everything in one convenient place with the ntouch note takers journal. Call toll free 1-800-INTouch or visit ntouch.org. You're listening to ntouch. Are you struggling to know what your next step should be? We'll hear how Dr. Stanley once addressed that topic in a moment with Charles Stanley. Now we receive lots of emails here at ntouch and oftentimes they deal with the same issues. And here are a couple that I think are very interesting. One of them says, I struggle on a daily basis with temptation and always fall short of where I know God wants me to be. Because of that, I fear I'm missing the true plan God has for my life. Now once you remember that when I'm going to read the second. I recently turned 50 years of age and took an early retirement at age 48 from a company that I had known as my second home for 30 years. I knew that there was

22:10something more out there and I needed to find it. Now I talk to God every day and I don't know which direction to turn. Am I supposed to be where I am right now in my life? Now both people are simply saying this, you know I'm trying to do my best but I don't know which way to turn at this point in my life. And let me say this, God wants to encourage you and help you to know His will and plan for your life. Well I want to give you a scripture in the 30-second Psalm that's very encouraging. It's encouraged me all of my life. When He says in this passage in the eighth verse, I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go. I will guide you with my eye upon you. God is willing to answer your prayer. He desires that you know His will and plan and purpose for your life. And oftentimes when people do not know God's purpose and plan they feel guilty and it may be that you feel that way. Well when He looks upon you He knows how much truth you know. Ask yourself the question, don't really know that I need to surrender my life to God and just let Him have it His way. And how much

23:16opportunity you have He knows all about that He's providing the opportunity. Are you taking advantage of the opportunity you have? And thirdly what's your response? How you responding to God's opportunity? God will show you His way if you will seek His will. He also knows if you're willing to do His will or not. If you'll seek His guidance, if you'll surrender your will, one of these days, if you'll look back and you'll thank Lord, ask your struggle and you are so patient, thank you God for understanding me and loving me through it all because He does. You can learn more about finding the will of God at intouch.org. And if you've been encouraged by what you heard today, please take a minute to let us know. Tomorrow on Intouch, we'll cover two more essential basic needs we all have and see how they're met in Christ. That's Wednesday on Intouch, the Teaching Ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley.

24:17This program is a presentation of Intouch Ministries at Lattah, Georgia and remains on this station through the grace of God and your faithful prayers and gifts.