Do Whatever You Can To Avoid Having Diarrhea On Your Face

0:00This is an I Heart Podcast. Guaranteed Human. Moving days going great, until the couch won't fit through the door. That's when I turn to AirTasker. Post your task and find local help for packing, cleaning, furniture assembly, errands and more. Go to airtasker.com or download the app. AirTasker. Get anything done. What if your soda actually did something for you? Introducing Skypop Protein Soda. Skypop Protein Soda has 10 grams of complete protein, zero sugar, and real delicious soda taste. Skypop Protein Soda. Reach for the sky. Get your Skypop Protein Soda now at Target. Never wanted to try an Olympic and Paralympic sport? Try Fencing. It's fast, competitive and even offered at the NCAA level. Find a beginner class near you at TryFencing.org. That's TryFencing.org. This weekend, the Monster Energy SMX World Championship playoffs race into Los Angeles. This is it. It's all the line. Now the pressure is on to deliver.

1:01And for the world's best 22 dirt bike racers, only one will go home number one. It all comes down to this. Go experience all of the action live. Coming to Dignity Health Sports Park in Los Angeles, California this weekend. Get your tickets now at supermodovross.com. Warning. The following song has been rated dangerously catchy and may not be suitable for grownups. A-B-C-D in the morning, brush your teeth. A-B-C-D in the morning, brush your teeth. A-F-G-H. Hurry up and don't be late. A-F-G-H. Hurry up and don't be late. Lingo Kids. Only suitable for kids. If a kid's stuck in mom's head, that's not our problem. Mingo Kids. Everything Kids Love. Download now for free. This is Jacob Goldstein from What's Your Problem. Running a business is hard enough. Don't make it harder with a dozen apps that don't talk to each other. One for sales, another for inventory, a separate one for accounting.

2:02That's software overload. O-DU is the all-in-one platform that replaces them all. CRM, accounting, inventory, e-commerce, HR, fully integrated, easy to use, and built to grow with your business. Thousands have already made the switch. Why not you? Try O-DU for free at OD-O-D-O. That's O-DU.com. Did you know every 36 minutes a child in the U.S. is diagnosed with cancer? Which means some of the bravest warriors you'll ever meet aren't professional athletes or superheroes. They're the kids in this fight. That's why I'm proud to support Hyundai Hope on Wheels. For the past 28 years, with support from Hyundai, their dealers, and every new Hyundai sold, Hope on Wheels has contributed over $300 million to childhood cancer research, helping save more than 40,000 kids. But we're not done yet. Let's bring every warrior home. Join our fight at HyundaiWoyers.com. Broadcasting live from the Abraham Lincoln Radial Studio,

3:03the George Washington Broadcast Center. Jack Armstrong is so getty. I'm strong and getty. Enough. He is. Armstrong and getty. So earlier, Joe brought us the story of this zoo that was advertising Child Predator Night. Which is not what they meant. Kids come and see some of the most famous predators, Lions Tigers, etc. The Child Predator Night sounds terrible. Got this text from somebody. Reminds me of the time I was giving a live announcement at church and said we were raising money for human trafficking. Right. Right. Hey, it's an expensive endeavor. Whoof. Speaking of an expensive Joe opened the show by saying he missed the golden age of fraud in America. I and I regret it.

4:04I hope that's true. I hope the golden age of fraud is over. We'll always be fighting it. It'll always be fraudsters. I hope the easy that which you're about to hear about. The easy, easy money. That I almost feel bad for not having grabbed some myself. I hope those days are over. You know how how COVID had all sorts of weird symptoms. One of the symptoms was it turned off anybody's interest in finding out whether programs and the people got the money were legitimate. Apparently because the last decade has been just the golden age of fraud. The story's out of California. Is it true? From crossing, from Fox News. One of the alleged California fraudsters is accused of using millions of dollars in taxpayer funds for his personal enrichment by spending it on a bunch of things including allowed luxury vacations, vintage car restorations and commercial properties completely unrelated to homeless housing. His arrest is part of the deal.

5:05Jays major fraud take down targeting schemes that stole millions of dollars from programs meant to house the homeless here in California. Him driving an expensive sports car has nothing to do with homeless housing. As I often say, how many people had to be aware of this and keep their mouths shut? I mean, if you were working with him at this agency and he's driving a Porsche, you'd think, I know what you make. What's going on here? You know, I know we have more audio and I don't want to steal anybody's thunder. But it strikes me. I'm looking at the stuff we've assembled. That guy was getting millions of dollars fraudulently for homeless housing. I've got people stealing millions and millions of dollars on fake child care. And then there's the millions and millions and millions of dollars that Nick Shirley highlighted that was immigrant services.

6:08And I think there's like one more example. I mean, there's not a government program that exists that it isn't getting millions of dollars siphoned from it. I'm like hundreds of millions, billions. I'm sorry, billion. And if there's strain. Man, if there is one thing I could do to turn the tide, it would be this. And I don't understand why it doesn't happen. You only hear about these stories out of conservative outlets. Liberal news organizations don't report this stuff. Why you're the ones that are advocating for the homeless and say they don't have housing. This guy was stealing money from the homeless. You're the one that's, I don't want money for the homeless to start with. I think my crowd shouldn't be pointing this out. I don't want to give them any money. They screwed up their own lines. That's their fault. Let them suffer the consequences of their actions. You're the one who thinks they're suffering from an unfair capitalist system and want to give them money. So don't you want them to actually get the money?

7:08I don't get it. Directionality, well, there are a number of different diseases that might kill America. But directionality, I think, may get there first, which is the idea that, well, directionally, I want money to go to a homeless and calling out waste and fraud and abuse sounds like I'm going in the other direction. So I'm just not going to say anything. That directionality will kill America. Here's the rest of that particular story. Three defendants were charged in separate federal cases, including 46-year-old Michael Young, who allegedly misappropriated more than $7.5 million in taxpayer funds and used the money for commercial real estate and to finance the construction of a high-end nightclub in Englewood and an adjacent bingo hall. You know, at least he was investing in growing the economy. Bingo halls and nightclubs, etc. Right. You know, it's not like he wasn't just consuming it. He was, you know, an entrepreneur. So that was LA. Let's switch to San Diego and hear this story.

8:09These were made up fake daycares. That day, after day, month, after month, year after year, build the taxpayer for allegedly taking care of children. An announcement from the first US Assistant Attorney General for the National Fraud Enforcement Division. Twelve people arrested, accused of running bogus daycares across San Diego. Investigators say they claimed to provide childcare for dozens of children when many times the defendants themselves were not even in the country. 57 days of surveillance footage. There was one day where children entered that facility and that one day happens to be the date of a random, unannounced state inspection. How many people had to be aware of this at a bunch of different levels? There had to be dozens, if not like a hundred people that know this is going on. Here's a charming side note on that story.

9:09Of the 12 people arrested for the eight figures of theft of taxpayer monies, more than $10 million. Eleven are naturalized US citizens from Syria, Somalia, Afghanistan, Iraq, and Sudan. And the 12th has green card and appending application for citizenship. Thanks Joe Biden. We got so much on this. Let's go back to William Lodge and S on Fox, a 72 there Michael. How easy it is. Yesterday's crackdown indictment is emblematic of the homeless crisis in Los Angeles. Easy money. Inside dealing. No oversight. Services and shelters promised or paid for but never provided. Sham companies kickbacks, ghost clients, so-called nonprofits, pocketing millions, earmark for the poor, instead paying for vintage cars, luxury homes, designer clothes, and those overseas vacations. The directionality thing you're talking about, it makes me so mad.

10:09So I'm a bad guy because I'm the hardhearted, I don't want these programs. People are drug addicts, they screwed up their life, that's their problem. I don't want these programs. I'm a bad guy for that. You're a good person for advocating programs where the money doesn't. Where the money doesn't help. And things you're talking about, it gets stolen by crooks, but you. Somalian criminal. But you're the good person and I'm the bad person. Right. Hilarious. You've finally figured it out. That's right. It's incredible. So you get points for pretending to care because I have to think you're pretending or you'd be going crazy over the fact that this money was stolen and didn't actually help the drug addicts. You know, I just read something great about that. Who wrote this? I can't remember talking about people with various t-shirts or bumper stickers. I don't think anybody who's not mentally damaged in some way really believes that putting a bumper sticker on their 15 year old Subaru is going to help us free to bat or coexist or combat climate change or whatever.

11:11But I see many, many of those stickers and they all read the same way to me. Look at me carrying about the poor and the oppressed more than you do. Right. That was well put. You know, you know, I kind of like to hear the guy from HUD, Scott Turner, 75 Michael, if you don't mind. Lassa has continually funded a homeless industrial complex on the backs of American taxpayers while fraud has continually run rampant. No wonder their track record at Lassa is a failing record while homelessness funding tripled in L.A. over the past decade. Homelessness has doubled. And when you dig deeper, we found out why. Lassa, the largest recipient of homeless funding in the nation is riddled with fraud, waste and abuse. And those days of blank checks are indeed over. Today, those who broke the law are facing the ultimate consequence, law and order. If you're not cynical about all this crap, and I know plenty of people aren't, they just fully embrace emotionally that,

12:17oh, I give to that program. I love it so much. If you're not cynical about all this stuff, you just aren't paying attention. Or you have a childlike enthusiasm for stuff. I don't know what that is. I like dreamers. I kind of like hanging out with them. I like creating art with them. I don't want them in charge. They don't have the capacity to be the adult in the room and make the hard decisions. Again, they're not bad people. They're just not cut out for leadership. And we're such a touchy-feely victim-oriented society at this point in Caliuna, Cornia. Well, I was going to say that's the sort of people we have in charge. That's the sort of people we have voting for criminals, Karen Bass, who pass themselves off as the caring dreamers type, when they're actually the most cynical union-hack lawyer themes you can imagine. Don't you understand that me not wanting to give them anything and you wanting to give them lots ends up with the same result if it gets stolen?

13:17You're wasting your time. It's actually worse than my plan. Because in my plan, taxpayers get to keep their money. But it didn't harm the homeless any. Me keeping my money. Because they weren't going to get it anyway. No, no. And maybe you, well, just for instance, maybe you would want to do something substantive to help somebody who's actually down on their luck through your church or a private charity, but know that money's been confiscated by the government so that some all the immigrants can steal it or the government itself can hand it out to their favorite thieves. Speaking of thieves, a word from our friends at SimplySafe Home Security, I noticed a close relative, I won't name them, has the water sensors that are part of the customizable SimplySafe system everywhere that water might leak because they had a catastrophic leak a couple of years ago. Yeah, but most people think about SimplySafe preventing break ins and crime, which is their grade at that. But then they can protect you from whatever hazard you deem most important or multiple obviously.

14:24AI powered cameras detecting suspicious activity at the perimeter and alerting live US based agents or the sum of the stuff Joe was just talking about. They assess the threat intervenes speak through the camera to scare off intruders love that and call 911 for dispatch. That's why people keep using SimplySafe, even without a contract. They don't alert you after the break in like traditional systems. They do it before get 50% off a new SimplySafe system right now. Go to SimplySafe.com slash Armstrong. That's SimplySafe.com slash Armstrong. Make sure you tell me heard about it from Armstrong and getty. Remember, there's no safe like SimplySafe. Or we're still on. We seem to be yes. Again, not to be labor of the point, but as I scan like our audio and the articles they have in front of me, it's daycare. It's immigrant services. It's a Bums and junkies programs. It's you name it. I mean, please, anybody who works in retail knows how scammy the EBT cards are.

15:26It just the welfare state is a fraud program that occasionally falls victim to poor people getting help. There you go. That's too long for a t-shirt, but I like it. The New York Post is famous for outlandish headlines that get you to click on them. This is among the most outlandish headlines I've ever seen. Well mentioned that among other things on the way. Armstrong and Getty. Moving days going great until the couch won't fit through the door. Tilt it. It is tilted. So I post a task on air tasker, set my budget and choose a local tasker to help. Suddenly, the couch is inside the new place, the TV's melted, and my drone has been retrieved from my neighbor's tree. Big tasks, small tasks, even the weird ones. Go to airtasker.com or download the app. Airtasker. Get anything done.

16:26What if your soda actually did something for you? Introducing Skypop Protein Soda. Skypop Protein Soda has 10 grams of complete protein, zero sugar and real delicious soda taste. Skypop Protein Soda. Reach for the sky. Get your Skypop Protein Soda now at Target or King Super's. Your kids board with the same old sports. Try Fencing, the Olympic and Paralympic sport that mixes speed, strategy and fun. It's like chess meets cardio. Quick feet, quick decisions and a satisfying beat when you score a point. Kids, teens and adults can start anytime. Fencing is one of the fastest growing NCAA sports, with new colleges adding programs every year. Many clubs have loaner gear. Coaches teach fundamentals and safety from day one. Find a beginner class near you at tryfencing.org. That's tryfencing.org. This weekend, the Monster Energy SMX World Championship playoffs race into Los Angeles. This is it. It's all the line. Now the pressure is on to deliver. And for the world's best 22 dirt bike racers, only one will go home number one.

17:28It all comes down to this. Go experience all of the action live. Coming to dignity health sports park in Los Angeles, California this weekend. Get your tickets now at supermodovross.com. Mom, are you there yet? 10 more minutes. Only 10 minutes. Can you drive slower? What's up with them today? Lingo kids. That app we downloaded last week? They love it. The games, this funny baby bot character. Kids were almost there. No! With more than 4,000 interactive games, songs and shows little ones can't get enough of. Lingo kids is the number one entertainment platform for young kids. Why didn't we download this sooner? Mimic kids! Everything kids love. Download it for free. Hi Ryan Reynolds here for a Mint mobile. Are you looking for a beach read this summer? May I suggest your big wireless bill? It's got suspense, mystery, a slightly flat, emotional arc and a shocking twist where you realize you've been overpaying the entire time. Additionally though, Mint's story is better. Every plan $15 a month, even unlimited.

18:30That's it. Happy ending. Zero tears. Give it a try at MintMobile.com slash switch. Up from payment of $45 for $3.90 for $6.180 for $121.00 plan required $15.00 for month equivalent to taxes and fees extra. The initial plan from only greater than 50 gigabytes means slow and network is busy. See terms. This is Jacob Goldstein from What's Your Problem? Running a business is hard enough. Don't make it harder with a dozen apps that don't talk to each other. One for sales, another for inventory, a separate one for accounting. That's software overload. Odo is the all-in-one platform that replaces them all. CRM, accounting, inventory, e-commerce, HR, fully integrated, easy to use and built to grow with your business. Thousands have already made the switch. Why not you? Try Odo for free at odo.com. That's odo.com. Three things I'm good at. Volk is the loot. Leave a long in Prosper. Start-track knowledge. Spok is my very character, which I think is not an unpopular opinion.

19:30And breaking records. One, two, one. Yeah! Let alone in Prosper. Happy 60th anniversary, Start-track. With respect for everybody. 60th anniversary for a television show. Wow, that's an old TV show. Start-track, which lives on, of course, in reruns. I saw it in reruns. I mean, that show is so old that I had to watch it in reruns. Right. Because I was a tot when it was on, but... Who knew he was still alive? That's Scotty. The engineer. Got no power, Captain. The great James Doe and known for a variety of roles. Not really. Still alive and living off that show from 60 years ago. Leading a Vulcan salute at the London Museum. So there you go. Fascinating. I agree, Spok. Okay. I've got some good economic news for you.

20:31The Byron, Yorker, the Washington Examiner, saying why isn't Trump out here touting this? But before I get to that, the worst headline for York Post maybe has ever had. In terms of clickbait, I've not clicked on the story, although I've kind of seen the picture and I get it. Oh boy. Oh boy. What's a Hydrox champ? That's some sort of race or running or... Anybody know what that is? I'm looking at it. It looks like some sort of extreme fitness something. I don't know. Anyway, Champ finally apologizes for it because she's laying down on a track and then in a running uniform and then running. I won't describe the picture. Hydrox champ finally apologizes for diarrhea-covered face and says she learned there's more to life than racing. Now that's a headline. At first it just seemed gratuitous. But what is the life lesson I find myself wondering?

21:33And how was it gained from the aforementioned unfortunate affliction? I'd say the lesson should be do whatever you can to avoid having diarrhea on your face. Oh, you don't have to say it out loud. Nobody wanted that. Oh my God. What the heck's a Hydrox? Katie, do you have any idea? It's like a running and functional workout competition. She lost. How'd she end up with D on her F? I don't... I don't... Wind? Hydrox, that was like a cheap alternative to Oreos when we were kids. That was back when the government told us stop eating that horrible butter. Eat this tub of trans fat instead. Thank you, government. Margarine. Yeah. Thanks. The libertarian was born.

22:33A son-piker was just on axios and confirmed that he thinks America is a bigger terrorist than Al-Qaeda. Please go away. Just go away. Quit. I saw a clip of him yesterday. He said, I hate this effing country. I hate this effing country, I thought. You're so transparently what you are. You're like Madonna only with rhetoric. And just, hey, look at me. I'm doing something outlandish. Aren't you upset? I'm so transgressive and I'm a socialist, but I'm really rich. And my parents are rich. And I hate this country as an immigrant in a country that made with my parents and my multi-generational wealth. Aren't you upset? What I just said? No. Go away. I don't want to hear the clip. And then this good economicness. I thought it was really interesting. I didn't know this. Byron York says, why isn't Trump needs to resonate with people being unhappy about the economy? We mentioned that earlier, two thirds of people think Trump has made the economy worse. How about these numbers?

23:34The Census Bureau statistics show that the U.S. poverty rate fell to a record low in 2025. We have record low poverty in this country. Despite seeing ads about hunger, we have less of it than we've ever had. And if you do, if you are hungry, then you're not googling or something. There are plenty of programs. There's no reason for you to be hungry. And hey, eat something. That would be my advice. And the real median household income in 2025 was the highest on record dating back to 1967. Yes. Our poor people are richer than the middle class of our entire history as a nation. That needs to be sold more, not just Trump and for the midterms, just in general for capitalism as a theory. Free market is a theory. Wow. Those are some good stats. What enabled all of that? The United States Navy. Just reading about that super interesting.

24:34Plus, the guy duct tape on a plane has broken his silence. It's so strong and getty. Moving days going great until the couch won't fit through the door. That's when I turn to airtasker. Post your task and find local help for packing, cleaning, furniture, assembly, errands and more. Go to airtasker.com or download the app. Airtasker. Get anything done. What if your soda actually did something for you? Introducing Skypop Protein Soda with 10 grams of complete protein, zero sugar and 45 calories. Skypop Protein Soda offers four delicious flavors with big taste and real benefits. Light, refreshing and ready for wherever your day takes you. It's any time protein that helps you reach higher. Skypop Protein Soda. Reach for the sky. Get your Skypop Protein Soda now at Target, Rouse or Go Puff. Looking for something new? Try fencing. The Olympic and Paralympic Sport that mixes speed, strategy and fun. It's like chess meets cardio, quick feet, quick decisions and a satisfying beep when you score a point.

25:39Kids, teens and adults can start anytime. No experience needed and many clubs have loner gear. Coaches teach fundamentals and safety from day one. Find a beginner class for your kids near you at tryfencing.org. That's tryfencing.org. This weekend, the Monster Energy SMX World Championship playoffs race into Los Angeles. This is it. It's all the line. Now the pressure is on to deliver. And for the world's best 22 dirt bike racers, only one will go home number one. It all comes down to this. Go experience all of the action live. Coming to dignity health sports park in Los Angeles, California this weekend. Get your tickets now at supermodovross.com. Mom, are we there yet? 10 more minutes. Only 10 minutes? Can you drive slower? What's up with them today? Lingo Kids. That app we downloaded last week? They love it. The games, oh, this funny baby bot character.

26:39Kids were almost there. No! With more than 4,000 interactive games, songs and shows little ones can't get enough of. Lingo Kids is the number one entertainment platform for young kids. Why didn't we download this sooner? Lingo Kids! Everything Kids love. Download it for free. This is Jacob Goldstein from What's Your Problem. Running a business is hard enough. Don't make it harder with a dozen apps that don't talk to each other. One for sales, another for inventory, a separate one for accounting. That's software overload. O2 is the all-in-one platform that replaces them all. CRM, accounting, inventory, e-commerce, HR, fully integrated, easy to use, and built to grow with your business. Thousands have already made the switch. Why not you? Try O2 for free at odo.com. That's odu.com. Did you know every 36 minutes a child in the U.S. is diagnosed with cancer? Which means some of the bravest warriors you'll ever meet aren't professional athletes or superheroes.

27:42They're the kids in this fight. That's why I'm proud to support Hyundai Hope on Wheels. For the past 28 years with support from Hyundai, their dealers, and every new Hyundai sold. Hope on Wheels has contributed over $300 million to childhood cancer research, helping save more than 40,000 kids. But we're not done yet. Let's bring every warrior home. Join our fight at HyundaiWoyers.com. Apparently Costco has become a major social hub where shoppers go to meet friends, date, and build community. Listen, if you could land a date with a $1.50 hot dog breath, God bless you. That's it. Costco seems like a good place actually for that sort of thing to me. If you're a certain sort of person. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. I'm out of the game. So this segment will be devoted to what we often refer to as Bingo Bangabongo, a number of unrelated stories, all worth considering at least very briefly. First of all, we ran the data on trans teen suicide panic and found the claims are completely misleading.

28:43No way. Not surprisingly. You know, I don't want to get in the habit of declaring this the biggest this or the most grotesque that or the most serious this all the time. But you can choose between a live son or a dead daughter. Maybe the most insidiously perverse and wrong thing ever delivered by a medical professional. Moral blackmail, they call it. Yeah. It's pretty horrible. Countless parents. Yeah. And how do you not feel for parents who confronted with this, who'd ever even thought of this in their lives situation? And a doctor who you ever respect for or psychiatrist or whoever tells you, look, here's your situation. Either go along with this. So they're going to kill themselves and that'll be on your hands. Exactly. Yeah. You can choose between a live son or a dead daughter. A psychologist is nodding her head as the social worker or teacher is telling the parents the same thing. They're going to be jailed for it for decades.

29:43Anyway, countless parents have heard some variation of these words from physicians, medical associations, media outlets, online activists. If children believe they're born in the wrong body and can't get sex change treatments, the argument goes there at high risk of committing suicide. No claim has swayed more parents to let their kids get puberty blockers, cross sex hormones and even surgeries. Struck fear into the heart of lawmakers, considering restrictions on such treatments. But as they show in a new report, and man, this is thorough, the suicide threat isn't true. Protecting children from transgender treatments does not increase suicide rates and their data proves it. Now, and this is what I've been saying for a long time, but it has nothing to do with me being right. There's no question that suicide is higher among children who believe they're transgender. Oh, sure. And that's absolutely heartbreaking. And it absolutely demands intervention. But kids who assert they're born in the wrong body typically suffer from serious mental health issues, including depression and anxiety, autism and a couple of other things notably,

30:46that those are the suicide risk. And then if you sell them a handful of magic beans, that this is going to solve your problems. Your deep emotional misery, these magic beans will solve your misery. And then they don't, because they won't. Then you've got a suicide risk. And they go into the data and everything, but activists and allies continue to say the real issues, the failure to medically affirm these children's chosen gender identity, listen to the kids they say. Wow. Oh, God. I could talk about this for an hour and a half. I'm not for a good idea to listen to the kids. Oh, I'm hungry. Maybe if someone says I'm hungry, a dog is biting me. There's probably a dog biting them, but I'm actually a girl. No, you're clearly a boy, be any kind of boy you want. More climate change is the biggest problem in America.

31:46Whatever. Children have a special view of the world that is untarnished by blah, blah, blah. Yeah, their children shut up. Oh, I want to get to the whole great barrier reef is growing faster than ever story. It's an okay barrier reef. Again, again, you with your bad mouthing that barrier reef. Anyway, let's move on in one of those traditions or transitions that I'm sorry I have blew that line. It's terrible. I would like to apologize to the guy I stole it from, the great Frank Zappa, who I once heard say, now in one of those jarring transitions that have vended us to dozens stolen that line a hundred times. Rest in peace, Frank. Of course, he would say, I'm dead. There's no afterlife. You're an idiot. So, you know, whatever. Sam Sung fans are mocking you again, Apple people. Go ahead. And you probably deserve it. Blue bubble don't care. Am I wrong?

32:47So as usual, you know, Apple fans are saying, wow, now I get why you want a foldable, why you have a foldable phone. And all the Sam Sung people are welcome. I love this line. Welcome to a day in the life of Sam Sung nation. We're the indignities never end. The company and its followers have long chaffed at their second class status. And last week's iPhone unveiling reignited the resentments. So far so same said one of the social media accounts fans tired of hearing about new features they've had since 2018. That are spreading conspiracy theories about the new phone and chiding potential defectors. Well, those of us that are in the two thirds of smartphone users who use Apple are interested in it. Does that make sense? It's by far the market leader. Right. Right. But I do get the, oh my god, look at it. I've had that since 2018.

33:47But wouldn't reaction. But wouldn't you just kind of silently feel superior as opposed to it like being angry about it? I would if I was in that situation. I'm sorry. Are my headphones working? This is the 21st century. Silently feeling superior doesn't exist anymore. No. Hello, the 90s called. Yeah, they want their quiet dignity back. Stupid. Boy. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, it's fun. You want to don't care. Among the things I can't get worked up about is the whole Samsung Apple with you. That is whatever phone you want. I don't care. I don't care who had what feature first or item makes no difference to me. I tell you what if I see a half naked Sydney sweddy with a Samsung phone, I'm going to be so angry. Oh, the fake reverses of the modern world speaking the tape for century. Will the new photo-able iPhone that I'd really want and will get? Will it fit in my little charging dock thing that a lot of cars have now?

34:51You know, they made a little thing that's shaped so you can put your phone in there and it charges automatically. Will it fit in there? If it doesn't, that'll suck. I do not know, sir. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. The only time I've resented the non-Apple users is, and this has gotten better, but my dad, he's like a Samsung guy or whatever, just because it was probably cheaper when I decided to get a smartphone. And that thriftiness has been passed down more or less. But it's when we're doing group texts with the family and sending pictures. It would be so much easier. I want to get my parents. I want to get my parents in the Apple world, but they're just, they're so against it because just it's so much more expensive than they have. Like they use a really cheap tablet. Luckily, my brother's girlfriend was able to go through it and make it work again for my dad because, you know, just those things are more complicated in terms of keeping bugs out of them and all that different sort of stuff. I've tried to convince him that the Apple product is perfect for you. It's easier to use. It's not more complex or it's easier.

35:51Yeah, yeah. Craig, the healthcare guru is a big Samsung guy. He won't have it. He won't hear it. Anyway, blah, blah, blah. Now what Frank Zappa said, duck taped plane passenger breaks his silence. Remember that 67 year old guy went crazy on the plane. He was drunk allegedly and he was threatening people. He's shouting racial slurs and they tried to fight people and they ended up having a duck tape him down, including his head because he was biting people. If I had gotten bitten or close to bitten, I'd have wrapped a lot of duck tape around his head too. I don't care if it's uncomfortable. Stop biting people you weirdo. Yeah, the best, the best cases I duct tape your head. I'm going to put it off your mouth hole and nose holes. Oh, shut up. Nice job, nose hole. Anyway, pay stop thrashing. 67 year old Lane Lundin. I don't mind.

36:51We shout out to Lane the retired cop. Haven't talked to Lane in too long. Thinking about you and your sweet wife. What a great guy. Anyway, he said, I don't remember any of what happened. I assaulted a police officer. Is that what this says? I don't have my glasses. Yeah, I don't know if I buy this. Let's see. What does it say here? I assaulted a police officer. Yelp things at people. I have no memory of this, your honor. He's trying to do the whole clientsy thing. District court commissioner George Hague read the accusations against him as Lundin moaned. Oh my god, what a mess. I don't remember any of it. It's possible. It's possible he was so drunk he didn't remember it. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see. He said during his initial appearance that all he remembered was talking to a man next to him. And the man next to him said, quote, I've never seen someone change in a split second from light to dark. As I saw then, as if something had taken him over, he went from the friendliest guy in the world to this dark person.

37:53I was talking to a guy the other day. We just got out in jail. And I said, why were you in there? And he said, I don't know. And what's weird is they don't know either. They have been able to find the records. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Shouldn't somebody know? Seems like someone ought to know. I'm saying you got to turn me loose. They did. Because of it. I think because of that. That's it. That's now. That's a technique. I'm waking up in jail and not knowing why you're there. It's got to be among the worst things that could happen to you emotionally. I would think. I would be thinking, did I? It's clearly something went terribly. Kill somebody? Did I? Oh my god, you're right. Yeah. You're right. Because I would be thinking, what did I do that's in my character. But no, if you had no idea, your character obviously had gone away. Yeah. Wow. Anyway. So his seatmate said during their chat when he was the friendliest guy on earth,

38:56he was talking about the reality of the real power of God on earth and in our lives. And then he went dark and started, he became my right and started cursing Jesus and blaspheming Jesus in God, screeching it's all bulless. Jesus is bulless. Well, that's just trying to fight everybody. That doesn't sound drunk to me. He could be on a variety of drugs that I don't know that much about. But to turn like that, I've never heard a drunk do that. I go from a big blue bird to Jesus's brain and go nuts the other direction. I just have never seen that. I remember my shock at first finding out that one of the kindest, smartest, friendliest people I know that when he gets drunk, he goes dark and he wants to fight guys. I just couldn't believe it. Thank God I never had that trade at all. Oh, no. Everybody's my friend. Are you kidding? Huh. Yeah. That's tough. Don't drink if you got that.

39:57Gene, King, mental twist, whatever that is. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you got to. I don't know either don't get in toxic hitting it all or go with gummies. I worked with a guy and he wasn't a big drinker or anything like that. He rarely drank, but the three times eyes around him when he drank. He was in the middle of a bar with his shirt off fighting a guy. He's one of those guys who would take his shirt off for some reason. And be a fight guy. And I get it. It's like taking it for your wife. And it was completely out of character. I mean, he was nothing like that at all. Oh, wow. As a super guy, any rarely drank, but the three times the run when he drank. He's in the middle of the bar with his shirt off swinging and being with the hell back. Crazy. That is crazy. Yeah, maybe this guy in the plane was like that. I'm not sure we can squeeze it in the next segment. I'd love to get to it at some point. Just a great, great think piece, a piece, not piece. The zero risk society has arrived. We've achieved dominance. The United States of America by taking big swings, big chances.

40:58Where has that ethos gone on? That's troubling. Is it inevitable? I don't know. I don't know. Nah, part of the cycle of civilizations. Yeah, I hope not. So speaking of aiming for victories and that sort of thing is opposed to just existing. A football is back. I'm super happy about it. Football is here. And so is draft Kings. So to that Josh Allen story earlier about the bills playing tonight. Anyway, draft Kings is now live in all 50 states. One app every sport nationwide new draft Kings customers. Sign up with the code Armstrong spend five bucks to get $200 in rewards within 21 days includes all markets. That's code Armstrong in partnership with draft Kings. The crown is yours. Gambling problem call 1-800-Gamber. 1-800-My reset. Connecticut call 888-7897777. Visit ccpg.org. On behalf of boothulkicino in Kansas, Bettax Passthrough may apply in Illinois. 21 plus, Void in Canada. Bet with draft Kings sportsbook to get bonus bets that expire in seven days, or trade with draft Kings predictions to get predictions dollars that expire in one year.

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43:03Skypop Protein Soda. Reach for the sky. Get your Skypop Protein Soda now at Target or King Super's. Are your kids bored with the same old sports? Try Fencing. The Olympic and Paralympic Sport that mixes speed, strategy and fun. It's like chess meets cardio. Quick feet, quick decisions and a satisfying beat when you score a point. Kids, teens and adults can start anytime. Fencing is one of the fastest growing NCAA sports, with new colleges adding programs every year. Many clubs have loaner gear. Coaches teach fundamentals and safety from day one. Find a beginner class near you at tryfencing.org. That's tryfencing.org. This weekend, the Monster Energy SMX World Championship playoffs race into Los Angeles. This is it. It's all the line. Now the pressure is on to deliver. And for the world's best 22 dirt bike racers, only one will go home number one. It all comes down to this. Go experience all of the action live. Coming to Dignity Health Sports Park in Los Angeles, California this weekend.

44:05Get your tickets now at supermodovross.com. Warning, the following song has been rated dangerously catchy and may not be suitable for grownups. A-B-C-D in the morning, brush your teeth. A-B-C-D in the morning, brush your teeth. A-F-G-H hurry up and don't be late. A-F-G-H hurry up and don't be late. Lingo Kids, only suitable for kids. If it gets stuck in mom's head, that's not our problem. Mingo Kids! Everything Kids love, download now for free. This is Jacob Goldstein from What's Your Problem. Running a business is hard enough. Don't make it harder with a dozen apps that don't talk to each other. One for sales, another for inventory, a separate one for accounting. That's software overload. O-DU is the all-in-one platform that replaces them all. CRM, accounting, inventory, e-commerce, HR, fully integrated, easy to use, and built to grow with your business.

45:06Thousands have already made the switch. Why not you? Try O-DU for free at odo.com. That's odo.com. Did you know every 36 minutes a child in the U.S. is diagnosed with cancer? Which means some of the bravest warriors you'll ever meet aren't professional athletes or superheroes. They're the kids in this fight. That's why I'm proud to support Hyundai Hope on Wheels. For the past 28 years with support from Hyundai, their dealers, and every new Hyundai sold, Hope on Wheels has contributed over $300 million to childhood cancer research, helping save more than 40,000 kids. But we're not done yet. Let's bring every warrior home. Join our fight at HyundaiWoyers.com. There's some dollar in those nice green tires. There when you defended the drags. We'll use your favorite drag queen in Texas. Oh my gosh, probably a little sad word. A little sad word that loves monkey maids. Thank you so much. Who has a name at hand when asked who's your favorite drag queen? What percentage of people? It's got to be single digits.

46:07And most of them are child groomers, Mr. Tallariko. Anyway, that's the Democratic, Senatorial candidate in Texas of all places. Not California. Which I don't think it'd be good politics in California. Because most people don't have favorite drag queens. But in Texas. In Texas, Pakistan loses in Texas. That will be perhaps the tip of Mount Everest of the Republican Party can screw up anything. So I've heard this clip from Tallariko's minister. You're big on this. I want to hear this. It's a pretty self-explanatory. He went on Fox News and walked that back. Did you see that? Yeah. He's giving us advice that I don't think he should be following. Yeah, because that's why that's, frankly, or wants something that attracted me to this church was like. And I could guarantee you that once you get selected, you'll change these two back to where you were.

47:09Okay. But he has to kind of play this game. Yes, that's what his campaign is convinced him of. Is that the Democratic Party is backing off on their stances, on the strands, and all of this. And so his staff has encouraged him to kind of do the same thing. Just for the next 50 weeks. Whatever day, so whatever day I guess, I think it's bad advice personally. But if it helps him win, okay. What kind of church is that? Super progressive left-wingy, trans-y, black lives matter, flaggy church in Texas. In Texas. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so he's a member of that church, and then him coming out over the last couple of weeks, where he says, I miss spoke about these gender fluidity. I missed the mark with that one. God is queer, whatever he said.

48:10There are six different genders. And you know, actually, the God is non-binary thing didn't bother me at all. It's correct, essentially. Okay. Fantastic. Joe's checking me. Don't declare box for God. Fine. Send angry texts to Jack. He wants to read them. Have you seen the Sistine Chapel? Is it an old guy with a beard or not? You know what? Check and mate. No, just the the quest to reduce God to human terms, I think, is a mistake. Anyway, but you believe what you want to believe. I don't care. He better be bearded or I'm going to be mad. Oh boy. I can maybe get tired of grooming it, Nolly. Shaves for the summer, I don't know. I get up there and he's clean, shaving. Everybody was growing beards. It was cool ones, but now it's trite. Now it's gone gray, and I just don't like it as much. Yeah, maybe. Who's your favorite track, Queen, by the way?

49:11What an odd question. I'm a little confused as to why they asked him that, where they tried to... So the crowd that was excited about him, running as a guy that's super into the train stuff and everything like that, where they try to push him back in that direction, where the minister said is where he really is. I'm just thinking they're asking the... I just think it was his fellow traveler asking the question. If I want him to get elected, I don't ask him that question, because that doesn't play well. Yeah, but you don't know that if you're on the far left. You think everybody thinks like you, except for Nazi fascists like Republican. You think most voters in Texas have a favorite drag queen? You are really out of touch. Well, yeah, these people are crazy. They belong to a cult. It's insane. But to him, it's like, you know, I told a story of... I was in a hotel room. A hotel rather, I went down to the bar. A hotel room drag queen. Where is the story going? It was a third of my experimental phase.

50:13No, I went down to the bar and there are some guys watching football. We struck up a conversation and he asked me, who is your favorite to power running back? Who just run guys over? You're talking about our favorite football. To James Calarico, that's the same question. Who's your favorite drag queen? Earl Campbell, by the way. Good choice. You'll never miss a segment if you subscribe to the podcast. Armstrong, you're getting on demand. Armstrong, and Getty. If it wasn't for AirTasker, I wouldn't even be having this barbecue tomorrow. Grills still in the box. TV's not mounted for the game. And apparently, half my friends are vegan now. So I hopped on AirTasker, posted my tasks, set my budget, and bam! My tasker assembled the grill, mounted the TV, and even potty trained my dog before guests arrive. It looks like a plan this week's ago. Go to AirTasker.com or download the app. AirTasker, get anything done.

51:13Wait, this is a soda? Yeah, and it has protein? 10 grams. No sugar? Zero. And it actually tastes good? It's Skypop. Skypop protein soda delivers the refreshing taste you want from a real soda. Chris and delicious with 10 grams of complete protein, zero sugar, and just 45 calories. So you're not choosing between great taste and real benefits. You're getting both in every sip. Skypop protein soda. Reach for the sky. Get your Skypop protein soda now at Target. Have your kids ever wanted to try an Olympic and Paralympic sport? Try fencing. It's fast, competitive, and even offered at the NCAA level. Find a beginner class near you at tryfencing.org. That's tryfencing.org. This weekend, the Monster Energy SMX World Championship playoffs race into Los Angeles. This is it. It's all the line. Now the pressure is on to deliver. And for the world's best 22 dirt bike racers, only one will go home number one.

52:15Wow! It all comes down to this. Go experience all of the action line. Coming to Dignity Health Sports Park in Los Angeles, California this weekend. Get your tickets now at supermodovross.com. Mom, are we there yet? 10 more minutes. Only 10 minutes? Can you drive slower? What's up with them today? Lingo Kids. That app we downloaded last week? They love it. The games, oh, this funny baby-bought character. Kids were almost there. No! With more than 4,000 interactive games, songs, and shows little ones can't get enough of. Lingo Kids is the number one entertainment platform for young kids. Why didn't we download this sooner? Lingo Kids. Everything Kids love. Download it for free. This is Jacob Goldstein from What's Your Problem. Running a business is hard enough. Don't make it harder with a dozen apps that don't talk to each other. One for sales, another for inventory, a separate one for accounting. That's software overload. O2 is the all-in-one platform that replaces them all.

53:17CRM, accounting, inventory, e-commerce, HR, fully integrated, easy to use, and built to grow with your business. Thousands have already made the switch. Why not you? Try O2 for free at odo.com. That's odo.com. Did you know every 36 minutes a child in the U.S. is diagnosed with cancer? Which means some of the bravest warriors you'll ever meet aren't professional athletes or superheroes. They're the kids in this fight. That's why I'm proud to support Hyundai Hope on Wheels. For the past 28 years, with support from Hyundai, their dealers, and every new Hyundai sold. Hope on Wheels has contributed over $300 million to childhood cancer research, helping save more than 40,000 kids. But we're not done yet. Let's bring every warrior home. Join our fight at HyundaiWoyers.com.