Did Jeremy Go Too Far With Harsh Comments About Child Maintenance?

0:00It's Ireland's most talked about podcast, the only podcast with live callers and live debates. It's Opinions Matter with Adrian and Jeremy. You're very welcome to this latest Opinions Matter podcast with Adrian and Jeremy recorded live at our studio at the White Sands Hotel in Port Marwick in North County Dublin. Now if you've been listening to the podcast frequently lately, you will know that we got a delivery of some Opinions Matter merchandise and we have Opinions Matter coffee mugs which are in hot demand and we've been giving them away very regularly on the program, on the podcast and all you have to do is listen out for our city question and we will have another one for you a little bit later on. It's the only way to get one of these at this moment in time so keep listening to this episode and find out how you can win yourself. Opinions Matter coffee mug, travel mug, call it what you will.

1:00But every day we pick a winner, today is no exception, let's ring that winner. Hello? Hello, can I speak to Sharon please? This is Sharon. Hello Sharon, how are you? This is Adrian Kennedy here from the Opinions Matter podcast. How are you getting on? Not a better, not a better. Good, I'm great, thanks. Sharon, you entered our competition over the weekend where we're giving away an Opinions Matter travel mug, is that right? Yeah. You did? Can you tell me the answer to the question that we asked on the last episode? Jeremy Kyle. Jeremy Kyle is the right answer, well done, well, you have just won yourself an Opinions Matter travel mug and we'll get it in the post-teach today. Where do you live? We're hanging in countercordair. We're hanging in countercordair, believe it or not, that was the very first place I ever went on a holiday with my friends when I was a teenager. Okay. Back in the day, back in the day, all right, we will get that in the post to you today.

2:05So if you stay on the line for one second, I get all your details. Lovely, thank you, thanks Adrian, bye bye. So there you are, that's the latest winner of our travel mug from Rathangan in countercordair, so well done. Good evening to this episode of Opinions Matter, at the end of the episode, you will find another question for another chance to win a travel mug. Now, have a listen to this message that we got from a guy called Damien. Before we read a Damien's message, can we ask a question, because we very rarely do this, but this is one of these topics that I just don't know what how people feel about this. I have a very strong opinion on it. I'll give it to you in a second. Myself and Adrian today did not discuss each other's opinions beforehand, so I don't know what his opinion is on this, and he doesn't know what mine is, because we've never actually discussed this before. But a very simple yes, no, as we're recording this podcast for people watching us on Facebook, a very easy yes or no in the comments, just type yes or no, and here is the question. So what is the amount per month that he's been 85 euro per week per child, so 170

3:09a week he's to pay. Yeah, so that's 740 is now what we worked at 740 months. Is 740 euro for two kids under the age of 10, yeah, is 740 euro a month in child support too much? Yes or no? So the story agent's about to bring it is about Damien. Oh, Damien was paying nearly 800 euro a month. That's not nearly 800 euro, it's closer to 700 euro, 740, so it's closer to 700, so it's not 800. Okay. But Damien was paying over 700 quid in child support for two children under the age of 10. These aren't teenagers. Okay. So they're not teenagers. They're going on mad school trips and need the best of runners and Nike gear and all that 740 euro. Is that too much maintenance for two children? Let me read Damien's message and here's what he said, I'd love you to talk about this.

4:10He says, me and my ex went to court two months ago and the court ordered me to pay support of 740 euro a month. My girls are aged six and eight, so 740 a month is 170 euro a week, which is 85 euro a week per child. That's what we've worked it out at. Anyway, the judge knew well that we both are in the same sort of way. She actually earns a bit more than me. I have them every weekend and I pay for anything that they need of the weekend, but there's no way she should be getting 740 euro a month. That money could be going on anything. I'm happy to pay for my girls, but her solicitor stung me big time. And that's from a guy called Damo. So the question that we're asking you today is, is 85 euro a week per child too much? Or is it just about right? Because Damo believes he's being absolutely ripped off.

5:12Our WhatsApp number is 0858252626, is 85 euro per week per child too much for a court to be ordering this to pay 170 a week for his two kids. Now, just remember as well, they don't have 50-50 cost. He only has the kids. By the way, his original message is a lot longer and it goes into a lot more details, to protect because anytime those kids and family, they have to be very careful. So we do know what he does for a living. He didn't tell us what he earns. We know what she does for a living as well. He's in a relative position. They're both in OK jobs. They're both in OK. No, they're not millionaires around. No, they're both in decent enough jobs. OK, here is my opinion on this. I think that is an OK amount of money to pay for maintenance, providing. Providing? Providing he is given receipts for what that money goes on. Do you get a grip? That's, and I think that is very, very, I've thought about this since he messages this morning. I've thought about this and I think he should be entitled to receipts. Receipts for what? To see what the money has gone on.

6:13So what? Receipts for like every bag of garden peas bought in the shop. Every bottle of cordial bought in the shop. You want receipts for everything, you get a grip. Don't be so ridiculous. No, I think it's a fair, and I think the vast majority of people listening to this would actually agree with me. It's sorry, in any walk of life, yeah, in business and stuff like that, even our company that we run together, we keep receipts for everything, obviously, to track what money is going on. And I think it is very reasonable, maybe I'm way out there, guys. You are way out there. Maybe I'm way out there. That's a ridiculous suggestion. That she should have to furnish him with receipts for everything she spends her money on. Absolutely not. No, not everything she spends her money on, but just be able to keep receipts to say, okay, he has, he has every right to know where that money is going. And by the way, I'd be the first to call him out of he's a deadbeat dad. I know from this fellow story, he's not a deadbeat dad. He's not giving out about paying that money, while he's saying it's a bit high, but what are you saying? No, he is. There's no way she should be getting 740 a month. That's what he said. So he's a type bastard, basically.

7:15He can easily afford with the job that he is in. He can easily afford to pay 740 quid a week a month. That's not the issue I had. No, it is. No, there is no other issue. It's cost at least that, at least that. And just to put in context, Jeremy, and I'm not going to go into it in detail, without being ordered by a court, I paid a lot more than my kids were younger. Great separated father. No, but I'm just saying, and you're talking 20 years ago, I was paying more than that 740 a month to my ex-wife for my kids because I wanted to because they cost money. Well, I think the vast majority of people will actually agree with me because it's common sense. Make sure you know what is wrong? What is wrong without looking for receipts on the money spent? It's such an insult. It's actually not an insult. I want to know. I want to know. I want to know. It's actually the opposite. What's the opposite of an insult? That's what it is. You want to receipts for everything, for all the food she buys on the supermarket. No, not down to the grid. No, because she'd be paying for the food. But say, for instance, okay, this week, yeah, I have a food is an expense for children.

8:15But then, yeah, whatever the food costs, the food costs this much. Nobody can argue me because I'm making perfect sense. I always ask for receipts. So she should be able to, because I would hate to think if I was in that situation, that the money wasn't going on to kids and that was funding her brand new iPhone that she was after buying. That's her business. It's none of your business. Oh, yes it is. Oh, it is. It's called child support. No, it is called child support. It is child support. It is child support. It is child support. It is child support. It is child support. It is child support. She's really sub saying that. I know it's child support. Children cost money. I'm not arguing with the amount of money. In fact, receipts. No, no, no, no, no, it's not, no, it's not, no, it's not. The first thing I said was that money seems fair enough to just leave it at that. But I would want to know where it's none of your business. Oh, it is when you're the father and it's your mother. No, absolutely. No, no, no. No, no, no, your business. Our WhatsApp number is 085, 825, 26, 26. If you would like to give us your opinion, do you think you think a hundred and seventy

9:15euro per week for the two kids is too much or maybe it's not enough? I am not saying, I'm saying it's the right amount of money receipts and everything is done on, on, on, on revenue, on revenue, yeah, every, every, you just put every receipt on revenue and then send it to him and then he can see, okay, well, this week, okay, they had a cheat sheet. They should not have to justify what she said. This week two of my kids have school trips that they have to go on, yeah, so that would be very easy to do. School trip, 50 euro, school trip, 50 euro, little Josh needed a new pair of runners. I bought them runners in sports direct 30 euro and then, sorry, by the way, hello, if you've nothing to hide, what is the problem with it? I just find it. So why should she have to answer to him about anything because she's separated, there are ages. Yeah, but she's happy to take the money so, yeah, to pay for their kids. I don't know. I think you find that every single person will agree with me. No, but that you should, that she should provide receipts for the seven hundred and forty

10:15quid. And then what if she only comes up with six hundred and forty euro worth of receipts, not going to hold it a bit up. Within, no, no, no. Within reason, though, boss, why did you buy garden peas that were frozen, why did I buy fresh ones? Seriously. I listen to yourself. Give me a head of wobble. Yeah. Our number is always five eight, two, five, twenty six, twenty six. I honestly don't know what I have said that is, that is a bang out of order. It's so insulting. It is so insulting. It's insulting to who, insulting to who? It's none of his business. What she's been to. This is business. It is, it's his money and if the kids, it's not his money, it's for the kids, it's for his children. Claire wants to know, would you ask your partner for receipts if, if you wear together, but they don't ask me partner for receipts, that's absolutely ridiculous. But if she goes out, say, for instance, last week, Claire, I don't know, do you realize her marriage is work? Last week, she went out and she bought two football kits for her two girls. I mean, she came home that day. She said, I just bought two football kits. She bought them out of her own account. So I revolution her half the money. That's her works. I'm looking for receipts, but this is slightly different. This is a, this is a co-parenting situation where you have a couple that have split up,

11:21yeah? And he needs to know and has a right to know you've been absolutely ridiculous. Let me bring in your opinions on this and we'll kick off with Vivian. Hey, Lads, I know he's a message from each of my own board. I can't come on on this, but Jeremy, you obviously know you've never been through the courts. Things like school trips, medical expenses, Christmas, other expenses, they're called vouched expenses in a maintenance agreement. And they are paid separately from the weekly amount that he has to pay. So if she has to bring her kid to the doctor and a cost her 70 quid, she sends him a receipt for that 70 quid and he pays her 25 extra on top of whatever the weekly amount is. That's normally how most court agreements work. If he got a court agreement where he has no vouched expenses, well, then he's getting a bag and for what he's paying for. So you really should educate yourself on how it works.

12:22Kids cost money, he made his kids himself, you did the wiki pay for the oil. I mean, seriously, get a grip. It's the Opinions Matter podcast with Adrian Kennedy and Jeremy Dixon, a podcast from Ireland with a difference. Jason, you're on Opinions Matter. How are you Jason? Good afternoon, Adrian. New court him. What woman? What woman? He had an army circle, man. There are looms to women and everything is just for the women, the women, the women. Jesus, Jeremy. May we talk after the show? No, no, no, don't you? I just don't want to be taken for a ride by any woman. Jeremy, today you go again. It's all a business transaction, but you know, it's a business transaction, but it sounds a thing. These business transactions, as they met that poor woman, that's his wife now. I mean, I say he had a scheduled one, he could actually have sex when he could afford it when the stock markets are just up, you know, that's right, the way, like do you literally when you go home on the tourist and you get your paychecks, a child number one, there's 12 year old child number two, there's no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this

13:23is not about this. This isn't a plan like this. This isn't a plan. This is not about this is not about me, Jason, this is not about you, no, no, no, no, this is not about me. This is about a man wanting to know that the money that he is paying towards the person. Oh, it is. Oh, it is. It's business. No, Martin, it's his business. If she gets with another man and has them in the house, no, Martin, it's for business. If he gets with another woman and has them in this business, all you want to meet that partner that's got the person that's going to be me and what he gets, do you know what the judge will tell you? Will you back off? That's what she left you because you're the guy. Well, it doesn't work like that, and especially in the family cards for men, but let's go back to the crooks. Well, there's the ask for a patent. He has force of on. Let's make sure the two kids are here. Oh, James. Because we do know there's a bit of a tent before I know you don't want to go down this whole journey. No more, you know that the women might like you anymore, but no, there is. There's a lot of a tent before. So let's go down that road catch a patente test. If she's not under hired, she'll give it to him, aren't she? He might. You know what you know me say? He's not what you know me say, Jeremy. You've not under hired. You've not under hired. Well, let's go there. And if it is, that thing is he's getting off like this.

14:24Okay. Do you think that that's what you're going to say? Do you think that 170 a week for his two kids is extortionive? It depends on the lifestyle that they're accustomed to. I mean, you must remember you said about them have good jobs, yeah? So do you have a good say a good income? Okay. So then kids will probably buy up in a certain lifestyle where they have certain activities that cause a certain money. And she won't have to manage that on around. And I mean, he doesn't mention a mortgage as the house mortgage is rented. Is she paying for rent? You do. Yeah, he doesn't actually say that. Is she paying all the mortgage? You know, there's a lot of variable say that we got to get in. If it's 170 and that's it, he just walks away. And the rest of the source, he's got no fucking IPH there. You know what? We need an agency. We need an agency. We need a proper agency set up that the kids money goes into this and then it's it's not given to the motor. It's not given to the five because there's a lot of that. I know a lot of lives that went into court and people are only handing over cash and the person's services. I never got anything. George L. May, you didn't put it to the bank, you know, put it to the gate at all.

15:27So therefore, we need a proper agency set up that comes out of your social welfare payment or it comes out of your wages. Yeah, no, I agree with that as well. I'm amazed we haven't got a system like that in place here in Ireland, but you think a 170 week for the two kids is not extortionist. No, as I said, it depends on the lifestyle, you know, that's a good way it really does. I mean, they probably brought up in that lifestyle with the high-dexterity that I used to that type of look. So you can't take that away in the case. It's not extortionist as long as proof can be made. You don't need to do it, Jeremy. I know you're going to give these to each other, you're going to walk into the George Church Church Church Church. No, no, no, no, that's right, you're a one-limps thing. No, he's a one-limps thing. No, that's right, you're a one-limps thing. That's exactly what Jeremy is getting at. But you wouldn't entertain that. You tell you the forecast, Jeremy, and Cop on the world doesn't walk like that. No. We all don't schedule a reading from businesses that there was the sex that were controlled. You seem to have your whole life focused schedules. No, I just walk like that. I just think for it, if I was in a situation where I was in a... No, but I'm just thinking if I was in a situation where myself and wife were not together and we were co-parenting and having to pay for things

16:29It's imperative that you keep a receipt for everything Literally, I mean you're making this a business transaction. That's what it is. It's not You're paying for no one say you are giving money to your ex partner You're paying for your children, so you don't babysit your own kids. Oh Jeremy does though. He's actually You know That's why I said it. You don't need to sit your own kids. Okay, you don't do you know that your kids you're not giving your ex-wife money You're giving your wife money so your kids can eat so why she spends all her money on drugs drink and talking with her batteries for our new special toy That's what we're talking business. You make sure you hand over your cash. It's gone through the bank. Therefore you You wash the hands of it. She decided to spend it on the kids. No, but you know your record stops at the bank. You'll be like her. She can't be going open a Freudian hand you 26 or seats for 26 different things and you go and through the milk. I wouldn't be funding baby mammoths lifestyle

17:33And I wouldn't be funding buttonless prostrate Because What would you do? Jeremy it is none of your business. What are we going to do? Because I'd like to know how we get over because the prisons are full compact full of men that are figuring out how to get over this. So how would you And say No, sadly, there's no one in prison for not paying me since there should be but there's very few people That is very very Very far between unfortunately. Stay there for a second. I want to bring in More of your opinions. Queen V in your own opinions matter. How are you? There's always is on this show. It's easy because people can't grass basic basic stuff here that all I've got is a business It's a real occasion that I actually agree with you. This is one of the very rare occasions that I've been doing. I'm going to tell you what Okay, you get married and you have a couple of kids and then you have separation, right?

18:36What should automatically happen unless there's a danger or abuse in any way, shape, or form? What should automatically happen? There's one. It should be 50-50 custody straight away. Or less than running concerns. It should be 50-50 custody. While that way you walk a 50% toy with each parent. Each parent has to pay for the kids on the toy and bear with them. When it comes to many of the expenses, then there should be an account settle for health insurance And so far we've got that vote contributed to it themselves every month and pay the bill on it. So 50-50 on that as well, skills, same team. Or you don't understand why we can bring people into the family court and think of down for an entry and use it as a bill. And don't tell me it doesn't happen. It does. The bottom line is all that argument and all that freedom. All of those is trauma for his kids. That's all it does. You see, again, a lot of people believe that it is awful to hear somebody even scrimping and saving over child support. This guy here is a decent wage. And he's driven about 170 quid.

19:38And now Jeremy and you are saying, well, actually she should receive all for all that money. No, look, I'm not saying she should be receiving everything. I'm not at all. All I'm saying is, is that before you get to the courts, okay, wouldn't it be a perfect rule that you could sit down and say, well, look, the kids cost X amount of months, health insurance, skill, extra-curricular activities. Okay, let's settle for bank accounts. And it's going to cost, let's say, let's say for angry to take a car for 400 a month. So we both put 250 a month into that. And then whatever the kids cost when they're with me, or pay for a field, clothing, so on and so forth. And you'll do it when they're with you. Does that not solve all problems? Does that not make it easy? Except some couples when they're said they don't want joint accounts of any sort. Or he pays her a set amount of money as ordered by the court. And he's a cribbing about it. I don't see the need. I don't see how he can crib that it costs, it doesn't cost 170 quid a week for two kids.

20:42I don't know how. The supermarket food bill would nearly be that. Well, the supermarket food bill will be nearly that. What kind of access has he got to the children? He sees what he's trying to call when the children are with him. He sees them at the weekends. He has them at the weekends. He sees them at the weekends every weekend. Yeah, so that's two out of five, two out of seven days. Two out of seven days. You knock 20% off out of 170 straight away. That's what it's going to cost him. I'm more to have the kids with him on the weekends. So where does he get the support to have the kids on the weekend? No one is filming with that kind of maintenance payment. He's on a good income. Yes, they both are. They both are on decent decent income. They're both on a decent income. So why is it like? Why is it a case if he has to pay that and he can't be like he's only given the kids the weekend? Why is it a case of he's gone from in a full-time dad to them? Okay, you can only have the kids on the weekend. I don't know why that arrangement is in place. Maybe it's because of his work that he can't have them during the week.

21:44I don't know. I don't know the answers to that. In some cases, that would be the fact that the father or the mother has certain work arrangements and they can't have the kids during the week and just at the weekend. Are you personally, are you personally failed? Are you personally failed maintenance payments are used? Not for all women in the family. I'm not going to say that. What was personally failed is the family quarter maintenance is used as a way to deep down an F. No, I agree with you. I do believe that the courts allow people to be beaten down like you just said and also allow kids to be used as pawns and whatever. That's another one percent. That's another day's conversation. But as far as you're concerned, is 170 unreasonable? It's not unreasonable, depending on his income. It's not unreasonable, depending on his income. If he can afford it, fair enough. I mean, in what way are you agreeing with Jeremy that he should have to... On a agreement, Jeremy... Not far more than the receipts.

22:46There's so much I think you shouldn't have to pay for the Louis store of your ex. And that's all that's found to contribute to. Because if they're both on the... If they're both on a decent income, so she has a decent income, why does she need so much? Exactly. I said that to you. I said that to Jason that I wouldn't want to be paying for a baby mommy's bottomless brunches with the girls. Absolutely not. And Jason's reply, because he's turned feminist all of a sudden was, that's none of a business. No, I'm the realist, Jeremy, the other realist. I've been doing the family car journey. Jason, can I ask you something? Yeah, so tonight you're going to get about 50-60 costs to the other day. You won't give it because you don't set the kids too much. Unless the two of you can live in the same area, and the kids ain't going to take them from schools, and the play group, and the peers. Because I asked the 50-60, and because I was living in a different county, I didn't get it. So that's why he won't do it on most times. You know that way? It's just... Well... ...for the kids to live in the one house. That's just a lot. Well, it's not a lot.

23:47Because I have experience in that area. It's not a lot. Oh, it's a great experience. That way. It would slip a family like that. That's just... I'm not saying it doesn't happen. Of course, it's just when I asked her if that was due to school. The reason I was given by the judge, that it was... I asked why didn't we do it? And he says, because we like to keep the kids in school. And if you know, we didn't live in the same area, it has to have been them across the city or whatever. And it's just... It was, obviously, said, incompatible with the kids' school. And like, the kids... It's been admirable with the kids. So the situation didn't allow her. Yeah, that's the way for the kids. Okay, yeah. If you know when you're asking her, right? And I heard you saying, don't know you're on the course before I say no. I'm going to ask you this, right? Yeah. Or you hear it, you say it's not only your business, if she has another man around the kids, and it's not a whole business, if she has another woman around the kids, so I want to sell for her, yes? Yeah, it's not. Yeah, it's not. It's not. Okay. What is that trauma towards the kids? What are the factors towards the kids? Well, I want to judge and tell you, that's up to you to start out.

24:47Or you've been through this. What do you think this is? This is what I'm... This is the point I'm trying to make. So you were very, very quick to jump on that, that it's only a business. It's only a business. It's only a business. It is. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. I have young kids, right? Yeah. I have young kids. And I have to be honest with you. Or you would be very, very uncomfortable in my head if there was a stranger around my kids. Now, I'm sure they must be all right, and they're not being able to see you. I want to judge and tell you. I want to judge and tell you. Or you want to know. Yeah. Honestly, if you just listen to what I'm saying, right? Or you could just say that, because that judge is sitting there looking at a foil. He's not looking at the situation. He's looking at a foil. And he's looking at what he's being told. Or you were reading the family cards. And you know that you go in, that's all, you're guilty from the word go. Before you were enjoying yourself. Before you were enjoying yourself. You used to prove yourself. Yeah. I wonder the way he was telling you. I wonder the way he was telling you. So for me, in that situation, it doesn't make a difference what a judge says. But the end of the day, if you have young kids, and there's a stranger around your kids, you're telling me that those are not and it's only a business. Okay.

25:47Again. Again. That is a different conversation for a different day on a different, yeah, that's exactly it. Stay there for a second, both of you. Our number is 0858252626. If you would like to give us your opinion on this, this is Mark. So that works out at 9,360 euro a year. Is there, that's just paying for his half. Is there any parent out there who only spends that much on a child for a year, food, clothes, school, general life? Don't think so. Opinions matter. Opinions matter. Opinions matter. With Adrian Kennedy and Jeremy Dixon, a daily podcast from Ireland, about opinions. Now, Jess has given us her opinion. Can't come on that. But if he has 50-50 access, then we should only pay for the kids when he has them. She's seen them, he'll pay them when he sees them. Why is she looking for more? That's not being naive. There are small mental women out there who use the money on themselves, right? That's children.

26:47So, yeah. No, I can understand a sanitation. I guess I pay for the kids when he has them. She doesn't like it. Well, then just grow the fuck up. That's what I have to say, sure. Elizabeth, your own opinions matter. How are you? Hey. Well, Elizabeth, what's your opinion on this? 170 euro a week. The court has ordered this amount to pay for his two daughters. Is that too much? Well, under the understanding I have that he does have them 50% of time. No, nobody does it. No, he doesn't. No, he has the money. Oh, okay. No, he has the money. He has the money. He has the money at the weekends. He has the money at the weekends. Okay. So, by the way, that is 50% of the time. What? That's easier. Sorry, how can two days be 50% of time? No, two days out of seven is not half. No, it is. You all have half. How is that half? Isn't we? No, that is 50% of the time. That is. Okay. Okay. Okay. So, yeah. Okay. Fine. She has them during school days. Great. Okay.

27:47So, school lunches. Those are not cheap. The wear and tear on the clothing. That's not cheap. A hundred and eighty a week for groceries for two children. I mean, I spend at least that a week and I've got two children. Like, I mean, if you think about it, then they're after school programs. Then there's a lift and then land for school. You've got to spend your desk money going to and front. If she has a car, I'm sorry. If she doesn't, I'm sorry to assume. Going to and from school, picking them up every day. A child care. Does he have to pay half of that too? Or does she have to take time out of her day? And take care of the kids, you know, after school or rain. My understanding is that her mother actually minds the kids. That's three health care. And so, you have to pay for food for her mom's house because they eat there. Does he contribute to the food that goes to her mom's house? Because she has to have food on hand for the kids. And that doesn't stay fresh all the time. And this is the point that I was trying to make earlier on.

28:50People are arguing that it doesn't cost eighty five euro a week for a child. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. People are. But what about after school programs? Absolutely. You have to pay for those. But here's my thing about the whole receipts thing, which is completely logical. But you can't do so. So, my thing is, if I was in a separated relationship, yeah. And I was given my wife maintenance, which I would do because any person that doesn't is not a real father. And if I was paying ex-ment maintenance, am I ex-wife rang me up and said, by the way, next week, your son Luke is going to Liverpool on a football trip. Yeah. I would ask, well, find how much is that trip. Well, it's five hundred euro. And I would ask for evidence. Just show me. Show me how much it is. The school website will have that. Yeah. Or if it doesn't have it, just send me the email. And when I'm, I won't pay for anything until I guess. Until I get it. I mean, Adrian obviously just Daddy Warbox series just shows money at people.

29:50I mean, that's what you do. Accountability. I'm sorry, sorry. Just a bad agent. Adrian likes to go on like he's Daddy Warbox. Oh, I'm money, money, money. Kids want money, money. Yeah. That's an agent thing. He is, I want, I want, when I'm handing over my hard earned money, I want receipts of where it's going and how much it costs. And if that makes me a bad person. Did you ask your wife for receipts for the, for the football kids the other day? No, no, because they trust her. She's my wife. But when they were, yeah, that's true. Yeah, does it feel weird? I do know my husband doesn't ask me for receipts. He knows if I'm paying for something for Susanna. You know, I'm paying for something for my daughter. Adrian, do you want to talk? Okay. Yeah, let me go. Let me go back to the point. This guy is a bull in that he's been ordered to pay a hundred and seventy euro a week for his two kids. Do you think that? Do we know about an offset? Do you know anything about an offset? If they make about the same money, they take the time, they're supposed to take the time and say seven days a week. If you have them two, she has them five. You take that time and you offset the amount of money you pay towards each child because they're paying, you know, I'm paying for five sevenths. You're paying for two sevenths. You know, there's an offset that should be made into factor.

30:53I don't know if they do offsets. But I would have, and you know what? I am not against receipts because I could bring up my banking app right now and be like 180 a week. That's, that's nothing. That's nothing. That's nothing. Okay. There's nothing. I know. But I'm not, I'm not, but you, you can't tell the mother like if she, if you see her getting her nails done or something like that, you can't just automatically assume she's spending the kids money or something like that. But they, some, some, some do, by the way. Some do. Then, you know what? And those are crappy mothers. And that's fine. That we're talking about this mother. We don't know. We, you know, I'm just saying there are women that do that. I've seen many in my many years of life. I know. I'm just past 46 now. Yeah. But this perception is that you are actually a logical person. There's this perception among a lot of women. Yeah. That's all women are brutally honest and that they wouldn't. Well, yes, it's been proven many, many times on this podcast that a lot of women spend children's allowance again. Their nails on their hair on the boat.

31:53Again, nobody's business. Botox and jacket. Oh, here we go again. What I'm just trying to say is Asian, you're, you're a bit of a clown. That'd be town. Yeah, you are. That's the level of debate. You have to also, but you have to look into the fact that now he's making his children a pawn in fighting the mother. And you should never put your children in between anything that has to do with custody or money because now he's doing the whole thing. And what she, what they're, what he's doing is he's making an enemy of the mother, making an enemy of the kids because that woman is going to start if she hasn't already bad talking the father. You need to create a cohabitation, co-parenting. But Elizabeth, I don't do not speak ill. But I don't think he would be angry if he knew where the money was going and that all of them would take is for it to show them the revenue account and say, well, listen, last week, last week, again, by the way, you shouldn't have to nobody. When you're in a separated arrangement, you shouldn't have to justify any penny you spend

32:53to anybody. Yes, in a perfect world, Adrienne, yeah, but this is not a perfect world. This is a logical world where people that have been known to do bad things. My, my, my, my, my, accountability is not against the law. You should be able to be accountable. And you know what, I could do it right now, pull up my app and say, do you, if my husband walked up to me right now and said, babe, I want to know where this much money went because I, if I took it out of the account, I'll be like, here you go. Here's my receipts. And he, I would not have a single problem doing that. Guys, guys, guys, are you ready to talk about my issues, a separated father? Well, he was never married, but he's, him and his partner have two kids together. And they regularly talk about him on this podcast because he tells me all about the life of a separated father. And for the first two years that he broke up with his misses, yeah, have two kids together. And again, both preteens to two kids where they decided not to go to court. They didn't go to court. And they agreed between themselves on maintenance payments or child support payments.

33:56And I won't, I won't even get into, I won't even get into what it was because it's private business. Anyway, they had it set up that he would pay X amount of money every week. He did that for two years, but he didn't do it through his bank account because he was getting paid cash and hand for some work he was doing. So he was meeting her literally when he'd pick up the kids on a Saturday, he would hand her an envelope with X amount of money in the envelope. And that's how it was done. And she was happy with that. And he was happy with that. And the kids were happy and everybody was happy. That went on for two years. And then something happened between the two of them. They had a rail and it ended up going to court and stuff like that. She, and this is the God on the street. And I want you all to hear this because this is a warning to you. She stood up in court and denied ever getting that money for two years. And the court, as far as... To be honest with you, this was mentioned earlier on by Jason. That's his own fault for having an arrangement like that. Because he didn't keep receipts, which takes me exactly back to the point you should always keep receipts. Especially... No, but he was paying in cash. Especially, and it doesn't matter, it's not a legal to pay someone in cash.

34:57But especially in a situation where you have an ex that can't stand your guts. No, no, no, no. Can I just tell you that's his own fault? No, no. For not paying through a bank account. Oh, yeah. Fix him for not paying through a bank account. He should have paid through a bank account. That is proof that she was paid. It's also proof that women sometimes were lawy about the money to God. He was stoned. Two years. It was made out in court for two to two years. He was a deadbeat dad when he was paying cash all the time. It's his own fault for paying cash. Our number is 0858252626. If you would like to get involved in this, lots of messages coming in on this. Here's Martin. Jesus, Jeremy, I didn't think you'd be this way on it. Adol. I think it's an alright sort of amount of money too, but you've got to pull a caveat of that. Let's come up to the summer. There's going to be camps. They're probably going to want to go to them. He's probably going to have to fork out for that too, which I don't see an issue with. To be honest, but I agree with the sentiment from him

35:57that she might just go spend on herself. I mean, we don't know. What? Me, you, Adrian, we don't know. Anyone listening, he doesn't know. There's only one man that knows her rightly. And that's the fellow that two kids would know. So maybe there's good reason why he wants to know. Especially if she's got another jockey on the go. I mean, surely, if they're moved in together and they're all happy families, I'm just saying that could be the case. Maybe they don't need that much money. And if he may be dead right to want receipts, especially if he's got another father on the go. So yeah, it's good enough, but he has to chip him in a few other bits too. Like, I'll just be that for his kids at the end of the day. It's the Opinions Matter podcast with Adrian Kennedy and Jeremy Dixon, a podcast from Ireland with a difference. Fiona, you're on Opinions Matter. How are you Fiona? I am Adrian. I just want to say, you know, someone that's used to take money for themselves. My dad raised me and he was forced to pay for my mom to come down from Denver every week to come and see us.

37:00And she took the money and never came. So yeah. Lovely. Yeah. Lovely. So what? You were saying that he could be this guy paying $170 a week could be funding her lifestyle. Is that what you're saying? Yes. Definitely. But in this situation, okay, $170 a week, yeah. $170, your shopping bill in most houses will be more than $170 a week to begin with. Before you take into account anything else for two children, the shopping bill alone, you could expect to be about $170 or more a week. Would you not agree? Yeah. But you still have to make good backs as well. If you can't afford it, don't go overboard. You might have had to do it by yourself. I didn't say that there was so much. You don't mean it. So do you think $170 a week for two children is too much? Well, I'm sure she has more coming in as well. Yeah.

38:00They're both working. They're both on similar wages. They're both on reasonable wages, yeah. And the court ordered him to pay $170 a week for the two children. I would argue that that's not actually a huge amount of money. He can easily afford it. And I don't see what the problem is. Others are saying it's far too much. It is. Because everyone like, I'm sure you're one man like, like you said, has the money coming in. So like, she has a lot of money as well. It's part of both of the creative, as well. So like, you know, going back then to your story, your dad paid your mother money to come and see you, and she never did. No, she took the money on her friend, her friend, and everything. And did you ever see her growing up? Well, I have limited contact with her now. But what about it? Also, your childhood growing up, you had no contact, did you not? Well, no, she raised me until I was a let,

39:00but I didn't see what it was. Okay, so for all your teenage years, you had very little contact. Yes, yes. And now your relationship is strained by the sounds of it. Yes. Of course it is. You don't have, like, you know, on gladby.races, the best dad ever. That's lovely to hear. That's nice to hear you saying that. But, okay, so going back to the point, you believe that 170 is a bit generous for two kids. It's a bit too much, and he shouldn't have to be funding her lifestyle. Yeah, well, sure. You said he takes the kids of the weekend, and well, so does she pay for him when he has the kids of the weekend? I'm sure she doesn't know. No, the money is going in one direction. Yes. So, like, who's happened? Who's the weekend? Yeah, no, he's paying for everything of the weekends. Again, I've heard of some cases where fathers are ordered to pay 20 or 30 quid, which is ridiculous. That's ridiculous. In this case, I think 85-year-old week per child isn't ridiculous.

40:01For sure. How old are the kids? Are they teenage? No, they're six and eight. I don't know. I need more children than teenage or so. All right. Stay there for a second to be calm, please. Let me bring in one final call on this, and that's you, Emma. You're on Opinions matter. Sorry. Just before you go to Emma. Sorry for couldn't across see the Emma. What that girl Fiona's story tells you is what a lot of people don't hear. That sometimes women can be the dead-be parents. It's not always the matter. I don't agree. By the way, I have no time respect for any parent who's a dead-be parent regardless of their gender. But does this perception out there among a lot of women that it's always the father and always the mother? And it's actually more shocking when you hear Fiona telling that story. I'm sorry, mother walking out. That literally she would rather go on the piss than see her. And to be honest with you, I look to do a full podcast with you alone because I don't know how you found the forgiveness in you to be actually to allow that woman back into your life to your origin. It must have been difficult. But it's very limited, isn't it?

41:01Fiona. It is. Yeah. And I don't think about her. And have you told her as much? Oh, yes. She knows. You know. Oh. Stay there for a second. I want to bring in Emma, you're on Opinion's matter. How are you, Emma? Hiya. Well, Emma, what did you want to say on this? Fiona believes that 170 a week for the two kids is a bit much. What's your opinion on this? I don't think it's a bit much at all. I've been through a two-year court case. And in the end, it was just 60 or all for two teenage children. Um, we had a six. Sorry, is that 60 each or 60 for both? For both of them. That's exactly what I said a couple of minutes ago. 30 quid. Tarty quid. Yeah. No help with Christmas. No help with anything else, school and anything like that. And as a matter of interest, does he work? He is a senior in a construction site. Okay. And he stayed to the Georgetown, which he was getting and not never came of it. He was just allowed to pay the tardy for a child. Okay. So he's done a decent way. But without saying what he earns,

42:02was it like good money? Yeah. Was it over over 50 or under 50k a year? I'm not sure. It's over 600 a week. Okay. That's all right. Yep. And he was ordered to pay 30 euro per child. Yeah. For two teenagers. That's unbelievable. And I'm sure those kids cost you a lot more than 60 quid a week. They do, yes. Absolutely. It's not. They wouldn't even cover the electricity. Yeah. And when that amount was issued by the court, you know, do you not have crayons to pay that and say, listen, George, you don't live in the real world. Teenagers. I tried and we got to two years and it was just the case. And we can't get broke from the stone. He won't even pay the 60 euro a week. So I have to keep chasing him for the areas and so on. And I'm going back and forth. And what do you make of my, and by the way, my opinion is not anti woman or anti separated mother, because separate parents do a really difficult job. But what do you make of my opinion that's after anger and so many people about receipts? It's just to cover yourself. Isn't it to make sure? I do. Yeah.

43:02I do receipts. I think that's perfectly fine. I don't them for the two years for the courts. But it didn't matter. No, but Daddy War book sitting beside me here was just. No, I'm just saying that you shouldn't have to answer in that way to, to your ex. It's cover receipts for everything. Everything else. It's not. It's ridiculous. But let me ask you. I would do it for the bigger things. They're not small things. You know, like the McDonald's or something I wouldn't count. No, but for the bigger things, I keep everything. Yeah, but if it was a ski and trip for school or something like that, I certainly would want to know how much it was before I would hand over half the money. I think that's just fair to it. So as regards to 170 a week, I'm sure, I mean, that's one you could only dream of getting for your children. But you don't believe this guy has been hired done by. It's because people like him hear stories about you and like yours that they think, oh, well, why can't I just pay 30 quid a week? Yeah. That's what it is. They say other people are getting away with us. I mean, it is just disgraceful that that's all that the court ordered him to pay you

44:02for the kids. It really is. That's absolutely outrageous. It is outrageous. Yeah. And I'm just left now to deal with it. Unless I want to keep going to courts, which is not fair on anyone. I just. Sorry. It's just. I've never been in the family at all courts. I never want to be in the way. It's a horrible place. Well, either of you. But I've been in them with other people with other people. Of course. Like the judge that knowing that the income was what it was, they really don't live in the real world if they think that. Sorry. And originally when you came on, I thought it was 60 per child. And it was like, even that's a bit scabby. No. But 60 per week for a vote. But you really got the shit end of the stick. Didn't you? Where it's under the thing I always find about is well, when it comes to, and I'm back side, I'm a woman again. And this one, when it comes to co-parenting, I'm when it's a separator couple. The man does get off a lot easier because a man. It's a lot easier for a man. I often say this makes up me wife. We haven't hypothetical conversation if we ever broke up. And I always said to be a lot easier for me to move on with a relationship

45:03because generally the kids stay with the mother. And the father maybe has them at the weekend and stuff like that. And the mother is literally left with the brunt of things, having to do homework with the kids, having to get them to school in the morning. Well, the father can go off and I'm not saying that's happening in UX partners. It did. It happened in my case. I'm sorry. I didn't want to bring it up. Sorry for bringing it up. But before I went to court, he told me he had got a new partner. And she had kids. And he told me that he had other things to pay for now. Oh, and Jay. So our kids didn't learn. And just back to Demo. Yeah. Complaining about his 85-year-old. What about you? Can I just say I'm at the fair page for coming on being so honest about that. I wish you luck. Yeah, thanks. I get to get back on the date and see. There's some nice men out there. Yeah. I will eventually. Don't worry about the experience. He'll fund your life so much. Yeah. Thanks very much indeed. I'm sorry. I was about to say because somebody just messages about this. Her mother, we mentioned earlier on that her mother is minding the kids,

46:06texting them from school and whatever until the mother gets home from work. Yeah. As this message said, her mother is saving him a fortune on childcare, which she actually is saving them both before. Yeah. So he shouldn't be complaining. It could be a lot worse. If you don't pay a mother for childcare. It could be an awful lot worse. That's a conversation actually for another day. Orla has been in touch with us. A lot of dads seem to forget that other things have to be paid. Like rent, mortgage, food, heating, electricity, TV, and other miscellaneous things. You can't actually... How can you say how much electricity the child has used? How much TV the child has used? How much heat? That's all in the household. You can't separate that. Thank you very much indeed, Orla. Just before we go, we are giving away another. Opinions matter. Travel mog are new merchandise. They're lovely. They're really lovely. Everybody wants them. Everybody wants them. We have a quick question for you.

47:06Don't drink coffee. Absolutely. Here is the question. During the podcast on several occasions, I have referred to Adrian comparing them to a fictional character. That's all you have to say. What character do I compare Adrian to? I called him a name about four times during the podcast. Which is my new nickname for you, by the way. You're grand. No, that's a great name. I don't want to be called that. I think that's a great name. No, no, you're grand. Really? I can think of words to call you. So what was that fictional name I gave to Adrian during the podcast? If you would like to win yourself an Opinions matter travel mog. Just send the answer to that question along with your name on WhatsApp to 0858252626. Get your entry into us before 1 o'clock on Tuesday, the 3rd of March. OK, 0858252626. Get your entries in as quick as soon as you hear this podcast.