Did Dan's Grandma know we were dating?

0:00Big day! We are sat in the same chair. What? Dan and Phil, suspiciously close, sounds of leg slapping that people have never experienced before. We've inflated a new chair. The reason for this is, we have a very special episode. Yes. The first ever guest on the Dan and Phil pod. The best ever guest. I think it might be. Is it Chapel Rhone? Better. Is it Hudson Williams? He could never. I would like to introduce my grandma. Hey! Hello, I'm Veronica, and welcome to the hard-launch podcast. Haha! Woo! It's happening! Here we are. Welcome. Thank you. Dear istana, how are you today? I'm very well thank you. All the better for seeing both of you. Ah. Stop it. Don't stop it. We have loads of things. How are you feeling in the inflatable chair? I'm feeling up. I think ours is missing a bit of air.

1:02We keep ominously tilting back as we sit. This one is so noisy, so if you're listening to this, every single movement is like... Dan and Phil IBS simulated. It's back. It's very like that. We're not putting this in our house. So we have been graced with the presence of Nana. Am I allowed to call you Nana? Of course you are. I'm like adopted grandson. I'm the adopted grandson. So I don't have any grandparents. So you are my grandparents. Oh. You are. Right, there we are then. I'm signing up for you only know him casually. He can be difficult. I am a bit annoying, but in the best way. All the best people are slightly annoying. Who are the best people and how annoying are they? Well both of you. I've roasted five seconds into the show. Yeah. So what experience do you have listening to podcasts? Non-watch, however. Thank God. Good for you. Yes. That's probably why you're so well-adjusted and healthier normal. And intelligent. Oh, great. Yes. There is a bad reputation of the male podcast. Yeah. The idea that a lot of men feel, because of how men are in this world, that they must have something important to share with the world

2:04when really they're quite dull. Do you have that opinion of men? I just think that's very sad. Yeah. It is that men feel like that. But they feel like they have something to say in that the world is interested in hearing it. Yes. LAUGHTER I mean, you are better, let's be honest. So how's life at home hobbies interests? What's going on in the world of Veronica? I'm still doing my line dancing. Line dancing. Line dancing. Last time on YouTube it was Pilates. I do Pilates. Pilates is very good for you, because it works every muscle in your body. And you benefit from that? Definitely. Since I damaged my knee, I can't get up off the floor when I do Pilates. Oh, OK. You were doing too much Pilates. Yeah. I feel like you'd be better than me at Pilates, though. So how do you do a line dance? Well, I just saw it advertised in the local community hall. Yeah. And decided to go along and give it a go. That's great. And I thought it probably wouldn't work, because I'm not very good at turning round, but I managed to do it. Do you think we'd be any good at it?

3:05I think anybody can do it. I think you should teach Phil a line dance step right now. Could you describe it and then Phil can do it? Yeah, if you describe it to me. OK, right, here we go. What do you just do like it? I'm in a line. He is in a line. Do I touch people? No. Oh, my god. You just stand and you put the right foot over the left foot. I put your left foot in it. No, right over. Right over. Yes. And then you do the same with the other foot. You bring the other foot out. And you do the same again. And that's called a grapevine. It's a grapevine. It's a grapevine. It's a grapevine. That's great. Phil, you've been almost moving a line. I love that. Yeah. But you see, what you really need is you need your cowboy hearted, a cowboy boot. Oh, I need to get the cowboy hat off. Do you have a cowboy hat? No, I refuse to wear one. Does anybody that goes to your line dance? Only the teacher. OK. Yeah. And she's very small and very petite and she looks all right, but the rest of us would look ridiculous. I think it's all about the confidence. She doesn't look natural and amazing. She looks all right, because that's the silliness level of a cowboy heart, OK?

4:06OK, I want the dirt on Dan. That's not why she was invited here. It is. I want to know all the things that he's not been able to tell us. He was so good. He was a lovely little chubby. I've got nothing but good to say about him. He was a lovely little baby. He was so cute and he would come to our door when he was about two. Yeah. And he would stand there and he'd go, popsy. That's my husband. Yeah. Computter, computter. Oh, yeah. And he'd go up the stairs and he'd sit. And in those days, you had like a virus thing, which was like the strange creature. And you had a boot that came down and squashed the virus. And Dan, you loved that. You loved squatting the virus. You should be grateful for TikTok. All you children watching this. You get to play Roblox. I was watching the antivirus software, Squish Abund. And I would be like, Grandfather, I yearned for the animation. That was your... That was the internet in the 90s. That was your enrichment. Yeah. But it shows internet addict from an early age.

5:08What could go wrong? I tell you what, he was a terrible cheat as a child. A cheat? Excuse me. What board games? No, we would be playing happy families in bed. Oh, yeah? His pop C&I and Daniel would get the card and he wouldn't want that card and you'd see his hand sliding and putting it under the pillow. Oh, is that why he keeps winning board games? Yeah. Because he's sliding things under his pillow. The pockets they don't tell anyone about. I knew you had little. Like, what's in there? What's in that flap? Happy family. Ooh! It's still going, Squat. Gordon Green from The Grocers. Oh, God. Would you say he's developed into a worse person or a better person? He's always been a lovely person. Oh, that's nice. Yes. Lovely. Very sweet, very good-looking, very kind. What more can I say? You're saying that because it's genetic and thusly complimenting yourself. Yeah, OK, yeah, we got that. But you don't get it from your grandfather. Oh! Tea. So the point of this podcast is that, obviously, I hope you are now aware, me and Phil have told the world

6:10that we're in a relationship. Yes. For a while there, it was a terrible secret. I don't know why you felt like that because when you came out, you sent an email. I did. I came out via email to the family. It was very intense. I procrastinated it a while. Yeah, you did leave that too long. Well, it was sad, I felt, because it just said, don't know how to tell you this. I tried to tell you at Christmas. Then it was Christmas. I decided it was spoil your Christmas. I just really thought I'd make Christmas all about me and I decided I couldn't do that. Then Easter came and you thought it would spoil our Easter so you didn't send anything then. Yes, I would point out I realized it was just excuses. I am gay. Goodbye. I am gay. Goodbye. I mean, it's very Dan to do it that way though, I think. And honestly, I think that if it's difficult to communicate something just doing it, even if it's in a very awkward, inappropriate manner, like an email, it's better to just get it out. Yeah, it is. Yeah. What I will say is you were so lovely about it because some parents or grandparents might not have been. You know, not stereotyping people from your generation. No, but not all people are so accepting of their children with different identities.

7:11No. How soon into meeting Phil did you suspect that there might be something going on between Dan and Phil though? That's the question. Why new straight away? Oh, I mean, we did live together after all for a while. Yeah, it's that kind of suspicious bachelor thing after a certain while you think, either these two are some weird party animals or there's something fishy going on. They're just good friends. They're just good friends. Did you know anyone that maybe they just lived with their good friend Helen until they were 90 and it turned out lesbians? No, I don't think we tended to think about. We were so naive when I was young, we just didn't know anything about it, you know. And I look back and I think, hmm, well, probably they were. Nice to meet you. Oh, good for Helen, hypothetical Helen. You should always live your truth. That's what a people should do if they can. Although people like to make fun of me and Phil because due to the strangeness surrounding the sexuality has been ever really defined our relationships. So we've been in what is referred to as a situation ship. Oh.

8:11Have you ever experienced someone's being strung along by a boy? No, I haven't actually. So what would you say to someone that has been strung along by a man for maybe three years and they don't know a thing? I think I thought you were going to say 16 and a half. I'm doing a metaphor. Yeah, okay. And they don't... Hypothetically. They don't know if they're in a relationship or not. They're just in this situation ship. Do you think they need to give them an ultimatum? Yes. No thinking about that. No, just war. You're really the expert when it comes to this. How long have you been married now? Sixty-something years. Don't expect me to say it and not a day too long. Right. I mean, I'm sure you have nuggets of advice that I mean, Phil, what would you like to ask someone who is just so much next level? When did you get married? How old were you? Nineteen. Nineteen. Imagine moving that fast. Yeah. I mean, that was... Did you feel like that was the right time? Looking back, definitely not. Right. Maybe a few more years. Yes, I was too young. I think you've got to be older than Nineteen. You haven't experienced anything.

9:12What do you know? You can't just commit to the first person that you meet. LAUGHTER When do you think would be a good age for someone to get married by white age? I think probably late 20s, early 30s. Frontal lobe cake. Because you've had experience. You've been around the block, shall we say? Yeah. You know? You've probably travelled a lot. You've met different people. Yes. And that all adds up to the experience of your life. That's true. And then you'll know who you're ready to spend all the time with. Now, we spend too much time together, I would say. Live together, work together, hang out. If you are to give us some advice, would you say that's healthy or no? Well, I could only speak from my own point of view. Yes. And we have very different hobbies, Daniel's popsy and myself. So you've got the line dancing? Yes. To get away. I have French. I do a French group. Go beyond to a French group. Oh, so then you can say things about him in French and he won't be able to understand. I'm exactly. Yeah. Sacreble. I'll tell you a very strange story, though, because we were in our...

10:13I think it was the first French class I'd gone to. Oh. So I was very new and very nervous with these people who I didn't know. And we were asked to read this text in French. Yes. And the bit that I got was about two directors of different train companies. I think one was you, Rostar, one was another one. Romantic. They had a spat. I don't know what about, but they had the argument. And one of them said to the other, in English, it's, you've pushed my cork in a bit too far. Whoa. Now, the word for cork in French is bush-on. Bush-on. But what I said was butter, which is nipple. LAUGHTER You've pushed my nipple in a bit too far. Yeah, that's exactly what I was saying. Too far this time. Oh, the lava lamp is... Getting extra... It's loving. It's like that. If you push someone's nipple into far, that's what can happen. It can. It can. Oh, grouff, grouff, fell about laughing. And they said, you've just said, you've pushed my nipple in a bit too far.

11:14I said no, I didn't. I mean, that's a good icebreaker, though, isn't it? That is a good icebreaker. Well, I was friends then. They accepted me. They thought this woman's going to be fun. Yes, that's good. I needed a full guy. And if you want to make friends fast in Paris, you know what to say. But don't say it to a French policeman, though. No, that wouldn't be good. What's push? Push. Push. Push. Push. Put on. Put on. We're in dangerous territory, people. Civil play. Yeah. Well, we like to stay in touch with what's happening in the world and discuss events and pop culture. So we would love to hear your hot takes on the happenings this week. Yeah, could you look into this camera and say, here's the thing, and then click your finger towards it. Well, here's the thing. Yeah. Where is the seaman? A lo... What are you making me say in front of your grandma? This... Behave. A local counselling came, Richard, ordered the demolition of a house, which the owners claimed was built to be a horse seaman analysis lab. That's what they all say.

12:14But secretly, it was an unapproved 500,000-pound home. Oh, my God. The inspector said there was no lab equipment. Cheeky, building an extension and saying, it's on my farm, I want a whole new house. Oh, it's a horse analysis lab. I mean, saying it's a horse seaman analysis lab is a bit of a stretch. You wouldn't want to investigate that anyway if you were a board counsellor. I think they were going for it so specific, they can't be lying about it. Yeah. You can't flaunt planning permission, can you grandma? No, you can't, no. Would you say you were a good neighbour? Yes. You wouldn't dobbos in if we were saying that we were a horse seaman analysis lab. No. Oh, thank you. There's rumours about the spouse and we're not going there. What is the lab equipment? Well, maybe they need like a horse milker, but on the other side. The other side? I don't know. You need a bear to get the stallion excited. You know more about this than I thought. Were you a horse girl when you grew up? Not really. I did go horse riding. Not for you. No, I was always a bit frightened of them. Because horses are suspicious and gigantic.

13:15They're very big. Yeah, I know so. We respect love horses, they're very iconic, also terrifying. I know someone that was kicked in the bulls by a shy horse. Oh, I was kicked in the leg by a horse because I went behind it, which you should never do. No. Onto my knees immediately. It's just so fissious. Oh no. Talk about suspicious package in Washington, DC, authorities closed a residential neighborhood after a device was left outside of fire station. Oh, what was it? It was determined to be a blue and black, electronic, portable pump device. K9 units responded to the scene to remove the item. That's what they needed to get the horse seaman. You didn't need to put two and two together there, Phil. I mean, it's more useful than getting a mare out, isn't it? Why was it left outside of fire station? I don't know. Any thoughts on that? No, no, right. One more. The clog and the furious. A Dutchman, Classbone Cruceton. Dutch moment. Drove a motorized shoe at 70 miles per hour, setting a new record. A motorized shoe. What do you think about that? Completely bonkers.

14:15I mean, where'd you get a motorized shoe from? I think they made the motorized shoe. Look at it, there it is. Oh no. Well, it's fastest clog. And they did set the Guinness World Record for fastest. Well, good for them. Motorized shoe. Wow. Which really just makes you think anyone can get a Guinness World Record for doing any bloody thing that no one's even thought of. If you had to choose a household object to be motorized and enlarged, what would it be? A handbag. A motorized handbag with Veronica in it. I can see a zoom in down the M4. Wacky wrensers. Yeah. Dutch people. Why? Why not? Did you know that Phil's got a world record? I do. I do. World's fastest coin stacker. Oh. Which is something that no one had attempted until the morning that Phil did it. It was a sham. And then I got beaten straight away. So I don't know why that's on my Wikipedia page because sometimes people go, do the coin stacking thing? Maintain the fake news people. Maintain it. So the problem with Wikipedia, editors will decide what is passed down into the history. Ooh, Phil Ester was the most dexterous coin stacker ever.

15:16Lies. Lies, I've got shaky hands. Pure lies. OK. So it was just all made up. Well, I don't know. He did it. He was just the first person to ever do it. But then someone could beat you straight away, which is what happened to me when Alexandra Burke beat me. Not Alexandra Burke. Hallelujah. I've stolen Veronica's seat for a quick message. Oh, do you remember the times before Dan and Phil shop? Well, thank you to the sponsor of today's podcast, Shop The Thyme. Where now we have our own home. Trying to set up a shop before was like, trying to make your own website. It was so complicated. It was a big city. And also, no one trusted it. I remember we'd get tweets from people saying, Dan and Phil, are you want to buy your merch? But my mom thinks it's definitely a credit card scam. Is it real? Whereas now, purple shop pay button. They're like, oh, it's real. I mean, there's these weird Dan and Phil guys on it selling trading cards, but I guess it's legit. Take it from DMP. Do I have to know everything about setting up a shop to make your own work? It's OK to not know how to do it all on your own. Yeah, well, Shopify will save the day. They're there to hold your hand.

16:17Hold your toe. Design templates. You can make it all look pretty in a couple clicks. Don't argue about whether the background of our shop is currently green or blue. It's a lovely turquoise. OK. OK. All right. They won't settle these kind of disputes for you. If you're ready to hear the... Oh, he gets to do it. I did it. Of your first sale today, head over to Shopify.com slash Dan and Phil to start your free trial today. You can do it too. We believe start your free trial at Shopify.com slash Dan and Phil. That's Shopify.com slash Dan and Phil. The power behind Dan and Phil shop. Thanks. Thanks. Hey, I'm Mike Baronholtz. On my new show, Funny You Ask, trivia starts the conversation and then things immediately go off the rails. I ask a question. My guests think they know the answer. Sometimes they do. More often, they do not. And then the conversation takes a turn. One trivia question turns into stories about career highs, painful bombs, and behind the scenes moments that probably should have remained private. You'll hear misplace confidence, bold guesses, wrong answers,

17:18quick laughs, and the slow realization that maybe this was a bad idea to say out loud. If you like smart comedy, sharp conversations, and trivia that exists purely to melt people's brains, this is Funny You Ask with me, Ike Baronholtz. Follow Funny You Ask with Ike Baronholtz on Spotify, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. So we met on the internet. Yeah. Now people are meeting on dating apps. What do you think about that? Being able to swipe between 100 men in two minutes. I would be very suspicious of doing that. Because you know nothing about them. Absolutely nothing at all. No, it might work out. The odd occasion could be quite dangerous. It could be. You're not going to hook up. You need one friend to share your location with. Yeah. And you never know what someone's going to be like when they are from the internet. You could think they look really impressive, and then they turn out they're wearing a wig. Or they only have entirely black wardrobe. How disappointing would that be?

18:19I feel like we should Google some popular men now. So then you could tell us your opinions on them. So just from a first look. So this is Jacob Allordie. What do you think of him? He looks quite nice. Hair isn't too shaggy. No. The chin isn't too square. No. How tall is two tall? Because he's tall. Well, six, six. OK, that's good. So if we weren't together, would you think he'd be a good suitor for either of us? I can't do much, because I can't do much and you without fill in. Fill with us. That is the correct answer. That's sweet. Phil tried to put you into a trap and you said, not today, this is a canon event. But do you think he'd go for Dan or Phil more based on this guy? He's not allowed to have us. Phil. Phil, yeah. Phil and Jacob. Lordy. All right. Phil, let's do Pete Davidson. What do you think of him? It wouldn't be my type. No. OK. Fair. Is it the blonde hair? Because I've just... People with bleached hair are creepy. That's it, isn't it? Too much blonde hair. Too many black eyebrows. OK. So the features are too prominent. Yeah. Some people say you're in a sequa, you're saying not.

19:19Not. Get them. Swipe left. What do you think of these two? Everybody has obsessed with them. Hudson Williams and Conor's story. Well, they're all right. I can't say anything bad to say about them. What if I told you they were incredibly athletic? How important is that to you? Does that help? No, not really. What do they get out of 10 each of them? Eight. Eight. Yeah. Eight for Hudson. What about the one on the right? Six. Oh! Yeah, I mean, you know, we all saw the shower. That's the difference. That's why we're 11s across the board. Yeah. OK. Bad bunny. Good grief, what a name. I know. He looks quite nice. Yeah. That's him dressed up. There's also party versions of him. I was a bit weird. Maybe not on the first date. What is a strong, confident man to you? Something like George Clooney. Oh, George Clooney. He's a yearn for the classic men. Oh, yes. I'd steal him away from Amal and he'd... LAUGHTER He has aged well. Honestly, I would get the Nespresso bag. Yeah, do you know what I'm saying?

20:19Watch out Amal. Nana's coming. And honestly, I wouldn't be mad about that. How did you even meet my granddad back in the day? It was very weird because I was at this technical college it was called in South Shields. Nenu, Castle. Yes, Nenu. Where were you born? In Scotland. And raised in... South Shields. And yet you sound like the Queen. What happened to your Northern blood? I have no idea. Where'd it go? We need to bring it back. It's moving around. You'd have been Veronica talking like that back in the day. That's Liverpoolian. Oh, what was George? South Shields. You see why I'm on? Why I'm on? Dear, it. Dear, it. Veronica is at college looking for a man. Well, we were very lucky because I was at this technical college and was it just being built in South Shields. Yeah. And it was a marine and technical college. Mm-hmm. And there were about six girls and six hundred sailors. Whoa! Six girls and six hundred sailors. Sounds like an anime.

21:20It was absolutely fantastic. Oh! Popsie did well, then, I've been to get... Wait, wait, wait. How did my grandad be 599 other sailors? He was just very handsome. OK. Wow. Charismatic. Yes. OK. That's a good win, Matt. Would you say that you had a harem of naval men? Oh, definitely. They were all lovely people. And we had this lady in the canteen called Mrs. Mack. Yeah, classic. And if the men, when we went to get our coffee at break time, if any of the men started to get a bit fresh, she'd get her mop out and... Don't get fresh with me. Are you with the mop? Don't you mess with my girl, she'd say, brandishing her wet mop. Mop them in the head, say back sailors. Clean them up. Well, those are the good old days, then. Just be with... Oh, they were. Yes. Doesn't sound bad being with 600 sailors, to be honest. I mean, you don't need apps to swipe between 600 men if they're all in the room with you. No. Phil, they're 600 men in the room. Yeah. Do you think the being forced to choose

22:23from the men in your immediate vicinity made it more realistic that you'd find upon her? Because I think these days, people think there's all this swiping. You're just going to keep swiping and seeing men. So you just don't need to take any of them seriously. You'll never go on a date. You'll never find love. I think that's the problem these days. Yeah. So you're just going to keep the men. Too many men in the apps. Where you just have the loudest... Sailor. It's obvious that's going to happen, isn't it? When you're just swiping looking at faces, you know nothing about them whatsoever. It's nothing like seeing somebody in person. You can get a much better image of what a person's life... You could do your instant aura read and notice they have red flags and just from what their face looks like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did I have a good aura when you saw me for the first time? Oh, definitely Phil. Yes. I passed the test. Because I feel like you would have said something like a rated film. Yeah. Of course I would. Get him out. So last time you were on a show, it was dystopia daily. Do you remember that? I do. Did you do like an internet lingo challenge?

23:23We had Dan's grandma explain the internet, which at the time included all types of fresh lingo that we probably don't say anymore. I'm ready to see he's now. I'm the heat winner. Oh, I do. Now, let's tell the world what you said when I said we're going to do the podcast today. Oh, that'll be lit, Phil. Still remembering it. Still remember it. That is a fresh out of 2022, is it? Maybe we could test some new lingo. Yes. Could you just read the phrases at the top of the TV if you could read that far? Or a farming. Yes. What do you think that is? No idea. Not a clue. Farming? Something to do with agriculture, maybe. Thinking about the land around you? Oh. I mean, that's pretty close. It's your immediate physical context. Yeah. What about mugging? We're split like mugging, isn't it? So I think it's sort of stealing cats. Stealing cats? Okay. Were you stopped mugging?

24:23The mug off. Put the pussy down. Yeah. Phil, can you explain mugging to my grandma? I do not. Yeah, okay. It's like, wait. It's all took a moment. It's like, where do we begin here? This would be mugging. If someone looks better than someone else in a photo, you say they were outmogged. Oh, right. So you outmog me in every photo? Oh. Oh, very kind. Stop mugging. Okay. Crush out. What does it mean if someone crushes out? It's a mod of how too much to drink and they need to go and... Lie down. I mean, that's a good one. You're crushing in the sense of lying. Yeah. I guess if someone is personally crushing out, maybe because they don't know how to read French and someone made fun of them for poking someone's nipple. Yeah. They are crashing out. All right. It means that you're basically having a tantrum. Oh, right. Having a bad time. Yeah. You're having a meltdown. You can't handle it. You're sure you have things of change. The meanings of phrases have changed. Yeah. What about chopped and unk? Cool. If someone said to you, you are chopped and unk.

25:24Would you say that's positive or negative? What sounds negative? It means someone looks bad on their old. Oh, is that what it means? Yeah. So if you see Grandad and he's being bad that day, you could just look at him and say, you are chopped and unk. I have to remember that one. Yeah, yeah, that'll come in handy. Keep that in your backpack pocket. Are you familiar with AI Slop? You use Facebook, right? Yes. You see pictures of Jesus made out of shrimp? No. No. That's surprising. Yeah. What do you think about people using AI rather than doing real art? I think it's a shame. Yeah. It's better to have the real thing. Other times AI is going to take over the world, isn't it? Exactly. Yeah. Need to support real artists. Faced. And how would you feel if you were talking to someone and they said, I'm giving you advice based on what the AI told me? Say what a load of twattle. Yes. Nana. So AI artist called Slop. Who is it? Yeah. Yeah. So if you see someone post on Facebook and it doesn't look real, you just have to go Slop. If your neighbour Sue Wellen says, here's my dog as a superhero. You just need to leave a comment saying,

26:24Slop. Slop. Yeah, absolutely. So what's the first one? Twink death. Ooh, what do we think that is? I know what twirking is, but not what twink is. I mean, a twink could twerk. I mean, maybe. Maybe. Does a twink like generally have a lot to throw back? This one does. Okay, we're just glossing over that. Yes. So a twink is a young gay male. All right. Someone who has got that ffs invite about them. However, what inevitably happens when you maybe turn like 32? It would be. Twink death. Yes. Do you think that we've experienced twink death? Oh, I don't think so. That's what we need to hear. Yeah, because of the power of bleach. You can do it yourself as many times as you like. Yeah. And now we like to get our audience involved in our show. Yeah. Because after we revealed that we were in a relationship, we felt a lot more confident and lighter. Yeah. Because we didn't have any secrets left to hide. We got that secret of our chest. So we like to encourage our listeners to get things off their chest, so they can also feel free. Yeah.

27:24So let's see who we have today. Hi, Dan and Phil, just Leonardo from Room. Hello. And I'm heart-watching, saying I love you before you actually do. My boyfriend said I love you first. And I was like, do I love this guy? Not really. But am I going to break his heart right now? Or am I going to make this lady embarrassing by saying that I don't actually feel the same way? Yeah. No. So I just said I love you too. And then at one point, I'm either going to develop those feelings or I'm going to break up with him, which I would have done anyways. So I think that's a good thing to do. Do you know what? Leonardo has a point there. I just think you should be honest, but do it in a kind way. OK, so someone says Veronica, I love you and you're thinking, how do you handle that in a kind way? So well, I'm very fond of you, but let's leave it at that for the moment. I mean, that's sweet. I don't think that would break my heart. But I like where Leonardo is going with it, because the other thing is you're going to break up at some point. So who cares, really? So it's either scorched earth or love.

28:24Yeah, it's like, you know what? It's either inevitably doomed in which case who cares? Yeah. No salvaging it whatsoever. So I understand Leonardo's logic of Veronica, you think that he should have maybe just been more honest. Yes. OK. I think it's probably a bad thing to start a relationship on a lie. What? What? Yes, it's right. Leonardo, tell him how you really feel. Chopped an unk. I've heard it now. Hi, Denon Phil. Hi. My name is Lily, and I am from Wisconsin in the US. And I need to hard launch the concept of prawn cocktail chips to other Americans. I tried them recently after finding them in the World Food section of the store, and they were actually kind of good. I think it would be fun to see you guys maybe try other weird snacks the US has on tour. I'm so excited to see you in Milwaukee. Bye. The American mind cannot comprehend prawn cocktail. I just say it. Prong cocktails probably one of the best flavors. Ooh. Opinion on prawn cocktail crisps.

29:24I love prawn cocktail. Yeah. It's one of the better things we've invented over here. It's just the taste of ketchup and mayo, though, isn't it? No, don't spoil it. It's like a special thing. OK. Prong cocktail pringles must have actual cocaine in them, because I cannot stop. Damn, literally, you had to hide the pringles behind the recipe book. Phil came up to me and he said, can you put these pringles in the bin? Because I can't stop. I couldn't stop. And so I hit them behind recipe books, because I knew that's the one place that Phil ain't going to open up. Woof! Do you remember how many sour cream and onion pringles I used to snuff at your house? Quite a lot. Yeah. Devastating destruction. Your mother would have been furious. Wasn't prawn cocktail like a classic 70s dinner appetizer? Yes, everybody said that. What happened to that? Do we need to bring it back? Or was it mid? I think it's just pasted sell by date. Yeah, it's gone. Yeah. What do you like to crack out at a dinner party these days? Well, we tend to keep it quite simple in our days, because I can't be bothered to cook. Fair. Just put out little snacks and things like that. What was the best thing about the 70s?

30:24Gosh. Raising your beautiful daughter. Oh, yes. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's my mum. Yeah. Well, your mum was 66. Did you fall in with the hippie crowd in the 60s? Or were you more... No, I was very traditional. Well, it's never too late to wear no clothes in the mud and drop some acid. No, it's fine. Hello, didn't Phil. Hi. I'm Catherine from New York. And I would like to hard launch that as a fellow member of the absurdly deep belly button community, Oh, God. I feel seen by Phil, and he should not stop talking about it. Thank you. Yes. Am I allowed to just disagree? I feel seen by our launch. What in the... You're being attacked by the set. How deep is your belly button? I've never measured it. No. I have told the internet that mine's very deep. Do you think that was oversharing? No. Not particularly. Not particularly. I don't know where mine ends. Oh. Okay, yeah. Science has developed many theories on human anatomy. Well, your belly button is just where your umbilical cord was tied.

31:24Yeah. So you never had one born in a lab. I wasn't born in a lab. I think they just tied it a bit too tight. Do you think that if someone has something strange to overshare about their body that they should talk about to endlessly or maybe they should read the room? No, just forget about it. Okay. People won't be interested. No. I don't know how much ribina I could pour in there before it overflowed. That's better she got that right. Well, you're a red bee, but it's only anybody else interested in that. Maybe not. Thank you. Catherine, we've heard enough about your belly button. Bronca said, shut up and you know what that means. Richard! Richard! We are now going to introduce you to Richard, our emergency topic machine. Oh. Inside every one of these balls is an emergency topic refresh. If we ever go off the deep end and our podcast has become terrible, we can change the conversation very quickly. We can. I'll get as a topic. Okay, here we go. Listen to this. Oh, Jesus Christ. Down I feel 40x. Are you wearing my belt? Yeah, I don't have a belt.

32:26It's a yellow ball. You want to open the ball? You can give it a squeeze. Oh my god. It's like Chinese crackers. If one of you ice-wear to God, my grandma is about to read this live on camera. This is from a vet, Rammos. Hi. Oh, hello. Long distance relationships. Oh! Oh my god, the relationship episode. Do you think a long distance relationship can work? Yes. How? You've got so excited to see that what you haven't seen for a long time. Ah. Keep things fresh. And can you trust men to behave themselves at a distance? I'm sure you come with some men. Probably depends on the dude. Yeah. All the last. I mean, I'm going to be long distance, London Manchester, kinder. We were a bit long distance. It lasts very long, we did it. No, I did keep getting the train. I wasn't ready to move in together, really. But then you were like, I'm coming to Manchester by the way I'm moving in. I'm just going to be at your house instead of doing my law degree. Yeah. Because I had six months lease left on my one bedroom flat. And then you were like, I don't like living in halls. Let's.

33:26I'm going to be here. I was like, are we ready for that? We don't know each other that well, yet. Is that what you thought? Yes. I said it to you. How fast is moving too fast? It just depends on the individuals. Yeah. Would you say us moving in together after six months was too fast? No. All right. Six months is okay. Six months is all right. We were technically long distance when you went on tour. I died everything in the house green. Yes, yes. Long distance does cause people to die everything green. How would you feel if your husband died all of your favourite towels green when you were away? I would be very unhappy and worried about his mental health. Exactly. That is the correct answer. That's why you shouldn't leave me. But overall, you think that me and Phil are doing an okay job as examples of relationships to the world. Very much so because you're just nice people and that's the main thing. I feel warm and fuzzy inside. Thank you. Thank you for joining us on the hard launch podcast. Have you had a nice time?

34:27Lovely time. Good day. Is there anything you want to say to the younger generation watching this? Maybe they're lost. They need wisdom. Nana's wisdom. I think you've just got to be yourself. Don't care what anybody else thinks about you. Oh, that's lovely. You have permission. Go do it unless it's a crime. Depends which one. And if you want more from me, you should subscribe to the Patreon. Wow. Thanks for saying that completely unpronounced. Wow. What an amazing organic thing for you to say. You can go to so much, Grandma. Patreon.com slash down in Phil, where we're going to be seeing if Nana is more Dan or Phil based on a wiki how quiz. Amazing scenes. Well, thank you. I mean, our first ever special guest, we couldn't have wished for anything more. It's been a joy. Thank you. See you on the Patreon. Until next week, stay hard.