Dr. Karalynn Royster: When Your Kids Are Struggling and You Can't Tell

Same stomach ache, every school morning. The pediatrician finds nothing. The parents separated eight months ago. Dr. Karalynn Royster says that stomach is doing exactly what it is supposed to do, which is tell somebody that this child is carrying more than they can hold.

Dr. Karalynn Royster is a child psychologist based in the Colorado mountains. She runs a clinical therapy practice and a separate co-parenting coaching business, Learn with Little House, built around a program she calls Kids First: more than a hundred video lessons she teaches herself, plus weekly group coaching calls where parents bring the week's problem and get answers from her and from each other. Her practice is with mothers of young children in high-conflict situations, and she is direct that fathers deserve the same support and that she refers them to people who specialize in it.

In this episode she and Lisa go through how to tell a normal adjustment from a child in real trouble. Royster describes the research finding she works from, that children take roughly two years to return to their baseline after a separation, and says the question is not whether there is a reaction but whether it is getting bigger, lasting longer, or no longer responding to anything you try. She covers the under-the-radar signs, including sleep, regression, separation anxiety in kids far older than parents expect, school problems, and physical complaints with no medical cause.

They also work through the co-parenting decisions that carry legal weight. Why co-sleeping with an anxious child, which Royster might otherwise support, becomes something to avoid while a case is open. What to say when your child comes home repeating an accusation about you, and why the fact that they brought it to you at all is worth noticing. The grief that resurfaces when a parent starts dating or remarries. Parallel parenting, and how a predictable home builds something the child carries into the other house. And two workable answers for the stuffed animal that never comes back.

As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.

🎓 What you'll learn

• The under-the-radar signs a child is struggling: sleep, regression, school refusal, and separation anxiety in older kids
• Why stomach aches and headaches with no medical cause are worth taking seriously
• What the research says about how long children take to return to baseline after a separation
• Why co-sleeping with an anxious child can be used against you while a case is open
• What to say when your child repeats something untrue about you, without badmouthing your co-parent
• Why silence about the other parent can hurt a child more than a careful answer
• How new partners reopen a child's grief, and why they are not on your timeline
• How to build stability at your house that travels with your child to the other one

⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Is stability possible when your ex isn't stable?
3:00 Signs a child is struggling, the obvious and the missed
7:00 Stomach aches, headaches, and stress landing in the body
9:00 Separation anxiety in older kids, and the co-sleeping trap
15:00 The mistake: going completely silent about your co-parent
19:00 What to say when your child repeats something about you
23:00 The wish they'll reunite, and new layers of grief
27:00 New partners, timelines, and a threatened ex
31:00 Building stability at your house when you can't control theirs
35:00 Transitional objects, and the Kids First program

Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Dr. Karalynn Royster, Learn with Little House: https://www.learnwithlittlehouse.com/
🔗 Learn with Little House on Instagram (@learnwithlittlehouse): https://www.instagram.com/learnwithlittlehouse/

About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.