
Eric Reinken: The Unwritten Courtroom Rules for Self-Represented Litigants
About this episode
When you represent yourself, the judge is forming an impression of you before you ever open your mouth. Connecticut trial attorney Eric Reinken joins Lisa to break down "court culture," the unwritten rules that shape how you're treated and that pro se litigants almost never get told.
Some of it sounds small until you see how it adds up: the phone that buzzes, the eye-roll, the file you slam down when you lose. Eric covers what to wear (and why the white shirt matters), how to prepare and mark exhibits so you look like you belong, the single best habit in front of a judge (be concise and stop talking), how to address the court instead of arguing at your ex, what an appeal actually is, and why ordering the transcript after every hearing is one of the smartest moves a self-represented litigant can make. General education on courtroom conduct, not legal advice for your case.
✅ WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
✅ Why "court culture" is real, and why ignoring it costs you
✅ The small habits that bias a judge against you, starting with your phone
✅ What to wear, and why the white shirt matters more than you'd think
✅ How to prepare and mark exhibits so you look prepared, not lost
✅ Why "be concise, hit your points, and stop talking" beats a long speech
✅ How to address the court instead of arguing at your ex across the aisle
✅ What an appeal can and can't do (it is not a second try)
✅ Why ordering the transcript is one of your best strategic moves
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS (+1:00 for the bumper)
0:00 Intro
1:00 Why court culture matters when you're on your own
4:20 The small things that bias a judge against you
8:32 Dress code, and the white-shirt rule
14:11 Preparing and marking your exhibits
18:12 How to present: be concise, address the court
27:34 More pro se etiquette
29:51 How appeals actually work
34:10 Why you should always get the transcript
CTA (spoken): Heading into court on your own? Book a free discovery call at beentheregotout.com.
Books: Been There Got Out — https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Relationships-Circumstances/dp/194627495X/ · When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You — https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Out-Against/dp/1967674183
Tags: pro se litigant, representing yourself in court, courtroom etiquette, family court, eric reinken, court culture, marking exhibits, family court appeal, self represented
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