Chuck Norris didn't experience death. (+ 18 more dad jokes!)

0:00Chuck Norris didn't experience death. Death is experiencing Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. It just took death until today to build up the courage to tell him. When Chuck Norris got to heaven, St. Peter didn't ask, are you on the list? Instead he asked, would you like to review it? Chuck Norris didn't die. Death owed Chuck Norris money. So he crossed over to force death to pay up. Chuck will be back. Chuck Norris doesn't get buried when he dies. He puts on the earth like a jacket.

1:01I think it's safe to say Mary is no longer a virgin, since Chuck is in heaven. Despite what you see in the news, Chuck Norris did not die. He fired death and took his job. Chuck Norris doesn't die. He just goes to the next level of opponents to defeat. Why couldn't Chuck Norris turn left? Because he was always right. The flu will be saving on health care moving forward. It used to get a Chuck Norris shot every year. Chuck Norris hasn't died.

2:02We all have. He is now in a universe of one. Chuck Norris once killed 20 men with a single grenade throw. He still keeps the grenade on his nightstand as a souvenir. Kanging there for more laughs and groans after this quick announcement. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast, smart move. Being financially savvy, smart move. Another smart move. Having State Farm help you create a competitive price when you choose to bundle home and auto. Bundling. Just another way to save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Covered options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.

3:03Chuck Norris, RIP, only had one hand. The upper hand. God told the grim reaper to claim Chuck Norris. The reaper said, do it yourself. It still took God 86 years to build up the courage. Looking for some spicy love. Live no further by some clove at your local grocery market. What do tires reminisce about? The good years. I accidentally drank holy water with my laxative. I'm about to start a religious movement. A robot started attacking people on the street but ran out of power.

4:03It was then charged with battery. I'm Montgomery Jones. Keep listening until the end of the episode for a bonus joke. We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans far and wide. Please share these jokes with your family and friends today. Looking for the gift for Dad? We have the official Daily Dad Jokes podcast electronic joke button now available on Amazon. A massive 500 preloaded Dad Jokes guarantee to make you laugh and groan. Check the show notes page for the link. The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by classic studios. See the show notes page for social media links and joke credits. This show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience.

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