Choose Natural Consequence

The prize vase is broken. Could the accident have been avoided? Probably. Was the vase broken on purpose? Probably not. Does your son need to learn the lesson to be more careful? Absolutely. Now, your job as parent is to construct circumstances where that lesson will be learned and appreciated. If you choose punishment as your lesson-learning tool, your child may become more careful, but out of fear of further beatings. If you choose natural consequence as your lesson-learning tool, your child will also become more careful, but out of love and healthy relationship, understanding the cost and impact of his not being careful. Use active listening to calm his emotional fever around the accident. Then ask questions that will prompt his thinking about what he needs to do to make things right again. When in doubt, always choose natural consequence over punishment.