Cheating Wife Story, Surveillance Caught Her Sin

0:00This podcast is sponsored by IQBAR. I've got good news and bad news. Here's the bad news. Most protein bars are packed with sugar and unpronounceable ingredients. The good news? There's a better option. I'm Will and I created IQBAR plant protein bars to empower doers like you with clean, delicious, low sugar brain and body fuel. IQBars are packed with 12 grams of protein, brain nutrients like magnesium, and lion's mane, and zero weird stuff. And right now you can get 20% off all IQBAR products plus reshipping. Try our delicious IQBAR sampler pack with seven plant protein bars for hydration mixes and for enhanced coffee sticks. Clean ingredients, amazing taste, and you'll love how you feel. Refuel smarter, hydrate harder, caffeinate larger with IQBAR. Go to eaticubar.com and enter code bar20 to get 20% off all IQBAR products plus free shipping. Again, go to eaticubar.com and enter code bar20. Hi, this is Alex Cantrowicz.

1:00I'm the host of Big Technology podcast, a longtime reporter and an on-air contributor to CNBC. And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is changing the business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it. Asking where this is all going, they come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon, and plenty more. So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, and meetings with your colleagues, and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology podcast or ever you get your podcasts. Hello, I'm welcome to cheating all the time. Glad you are here. Let's get into this next crazy cheat. A funeral opened my eyes. It wasn't the death of my grandfather that hit me hardest, but the realization my wife wasn't there beside me. The truth? She was with someone else at that exact moment in another man's arms. For months, I pretended not to see it, but now I'm done pretending. The cameras are set every lie,

2:01every kiss recorded. And tonight, she walks through the door, clueless that her perfect well, the seconds from shattering, this isn't heartbreaking anymore. It's where it took a funeral, and my three-year-old daughter to help me see something I had been ignoring for a long time, I really didn't want to face it, but it was right in front of me the funeral was from a grandmother who had passed away. I'm a daughter. Lisa was by my side the day after the funeral. We were at my mother's house, getting ready to go home. We had packed all our bags into the car and I was helping a listen to her car seat. Do you want your shoes off, sweetie? I asked. I already knew her answer, but I loved hearing her little voice. Yes, please, she replied clearly. I smiled as I embuckled her tiny shoes. I didn't need to ask about her socks, she preferred them off. I guess that trait came from my side of the family. I would rather go barefoot too, instead of wearing hot shoes. Once her socks were off, I playfully tickled her feet. She looked at me, waiting to squill and kick. We enjoyed this little game together, and it made me happy. I realized we had been spending a lot of time playing lately. Moments were the list of outspecial, but things were different with my wife, Laura.

3:02Before I could think more about that, a list spoke up. Daddy, she said while I arranged her shoes on the seat next to her. What is it, pumpkin? I asked softly. When she didn't answer right away, I turned to meet her gaze. Why doesn't mommy love us anymore? She asked. I was shocked by her question and didn't know what to say. Sweetheart, your mommy loves us both very much, especially you. I replied slowly. For a moment, her eyes lit up, but then the spark faded. But she didn't want to come with us to say goodbye, and she said softly. I didn't have a clear answer, just what Laura had told me. She had to work honey. I explained. I thought about mentioning her big project at work, but I realized that would only confuse her. Mommy will be waiting for you when we get home, I assured her. Does she have to work at night too? A list asked. I started to explain, but then I paused to think. No, baby girl, I said. I believe mommy will soon have more time to be with you and me. I felt a sudden urge to end this chat. It was getting too hard. I fastened the last strap on the car seat,

4:04gave my little girl a kiss, and lightly padded her arm before shutting the door. 20 minutes later, she was softly asleep in the back seat while I drove down the highway. My daughter was peaceful, but I couldn't be. I kept thinking about her sad words. If my three-year-old noticed, it meant there was something more going on. I remembered what Laura had said the last time I asked her why she spent so much time away. The sun was almost down when we pulled into the driver. My wife, Laura, was home. Alissa raised upstairs, excited and eager to share stories about all her cousins in my parents' house. I followed, still troubled by thoughts. Where was Laura so often busy with work or out with friends? I found Laura sitting at her vanity, getting ready for the evening. She stood up to greet me, which seemed distracted. I sat on the bed and watched her. Alissa chatted with her for a bit, but it was obvious to our daughter that Laura wasn't really listening. Eventually, Alissa quietly went to her own room. Laura continued to focus on her reflection. What's going on, Laura? I asked trying to keep my voice calm. My stomach turned with worry.

5:05What do you mean, honey? She replied, still preoccupied with her makeup. We've only been home 10 minutes, I said, and you're in a rush to leave already? She stopped and looked at me, showing some irritation. Honey, you know I always go out with the girls on Friday nights she replied, her tone suggesting we had discussed this many times before. I didn't like how she was speaking to me and felt it was unfair to suggest at what she was doing was normal. Well, actually, I said, trying to keep it light, you go out with your friends on Saturday nights, some Sundays, almost every Wednesday, and usually every Friday after work. Sometimes it all feels like one long, exhausting night out. Alissa quietly gone into her room after her mother seemed distracted, and I have one of her toys playing a tune. I got up, closed the bedroom door, and turned back to see Laura standing still, looking at me with a blank expression. I stepped closer and took her hands in mind. Laura, I said gently, trying to keep my feelings in check. I didn't want to show how worried I was. Alissa asked me today why you didn't love us anymore, and I need to ask you the same thing. Laura's expression changed, and I could tell I had touched a nerve.

6:07But I continued. Do you? I asked my wife of six years. For a moment she didn't respond. Then she took a deep breath and leaned toward me. Of course, dear, she said softly. I love you more today than when we got married. I was so happy. My stomach was still in knots, but I tried to let my worries ease. She was happy before. But now, then stay home tonight, I set, pushing aside my worries. I tried not to let hesitation show in my voice. Laura sighed and gave me a gentle pat. We can put Alissa to bed early, I suggested. We'll dinner lights, and enjoy that special blot all we've been saving. For a moment, she seemed to warm up to the idea until I mentioned the special outfit I got for her. Her mood changed and she tried to step back. I gently held her wrists to keep her close. Laura, I asked seriously, are you being unfaithful? I watched her carefully. I saw a brief flicker of tension in her face, then it was gone. My heart raised as I felt something wasn't right. Don't be silly, she replied. Honey, I could never love anyone but you, you know that.

7:09She leaned in closer, resting her head on my shoulder. Her head didn't lean in much, and I wondered if she noticed the chill I felt. Laura touched my arms before stepping back to check the clock. I'm going to be late, she said. I promised my friends I wouldn't keep them waiting again. I need to go, but maybe tomorrow night she offered softly. Laura, we need some time together, I set, trying to hide my growing frustration. Tell your friends you can meet them another time and spend tonight with me and our daughter. Please, I urged. She moved away to pick out an outfit. I can't let my friends down, she replied. Why do you want me to do that? She asked sharply. Why would you want to let me and our daughter down? I countered. Don't we matter to you anymore? Her eyes narrowed as she prepared to argue back. I told you tomorrow she shot back. I deserve time for myself without feeling trapped. I'm not your servant. We kept arguing. She said she was her own person in this marriage and needed a break after a long day. I reminded her that she had always had space. I never complained when she went back to work after the baby.

8:10Even though I respected her career, I didn't understand why her job and nights out came before our family. I made a sarcastic comment about her friends, which only made her angrier. To avoid saying something hurtful, I decided to leave the room. Upset, I went downstairs and sat on the couch, feeling frustrated. I battled the urge to try to from going out that night. Yet even in my anger, I knew I couldn't do that. When she came down the stairs, I felt calmer, but all glances were still tense. Laura, I said, please don't do this. My voice was deeper than usual. She paused at the door, almost hesitating and then opened it. Laura, I said more firmly, I love you. I'm asking you, please don't do this to me in Alyssa. Laura looked at me with a blank expression. Then she walked out and closed the door behind her. Alyssa ran down the stairs into the hallway. She opened the door and watched her mother's car drive away. Without a word, she shut the door and quickly moved to the catch. I recognized that walk. It was like the floor was too hot and she needed to get off her fast. She climbed onto the couch next to me and stared at the door for a while,

9:11as if wishing her mother would come back. I looked too. After a moment, Alyssa settled in my lap and we hugged for a long time before I took her into the kitchen to make us some sandwiches. The weekend was awkward between Laura and me. She came home early Saturday morning and spent most of the day feeling sick. After dealing with her short temper for a while, Alyssa and I went to the park and didn't come home until after dinner. Laura was not happy about that. She made her frustration clear when we got back. Unhappy with the time I spent away. I listened for a bit but then got irritated. I told her that her actions the night before had led to our day out and that she needed to accept the listen I had a good time. I suggested she handle it calmly. Whatever she decided to do, I said my irritation, showing that she should be kind or not say anything at all. She was surprised by my tone. The shot kept her focused on Alyssa for the rest of the evening. Later that night, I noticed a change in Laura's mood so I tried to connect with her but she still felt sick. I tried again Sunday night but she didn't respond. Feeling frustrated, I've rolled away from her.

10:12After a while, I got up and took another shower hoping the water would help me relax and sleep. It only worked a little. On Monday morning, I left the house before Laura got up. I rarely did this because it meant Laura had to handle Alyssa's morning routine. She didn't like that and if things weren't in order, she usually ended up late for work. That morning, I wasn't too worried about her needs. Before I left, I went down to the basement, opened a cabinet for tools and turned on the small device that would record every landline phone call made from my home. Another switch activated a gadget that would catch nearby cell phone calls. It was exactly legal but no one knew about it and I didn't plan to use the information in any official way. Cameras were already set up in almost every room in the house. After watching a documentary about solving a case using footage from a homeowner's cameras, I decided to install cameras around my own house. I wanted to keep an eye on the babysitters and housekeepers we hired. We trusted them but I thought it was wise to check in on things. It had been a while since we needed a babysitter. I drew through the high chain link fence of our new campus and parked in front of the business office.

11:15The fence and extra security were set up when we first got a contract with the Department of Defense three years ago. Since then, we had gained more contracts that were good for business. I sat in my car thinking. My gut told me that Laura might be interested in something outside of work but my mind doggy that I had no real evidence. Just having a fast heartbeat and breathing quickly didn't prove anything. I thought I saw a hint of guilt in her eyes but I hoped it was about something else. I noticed the logo on the wall in front of my car. I nodded to Phil Sanders, one of my earliest hires. I opened the door and greeted him briefing while grabbing my palm pilot and briefcase from the back seat. Instead of rushing inside, I paused to admire the bright logo and their industries. That's my company, led by me, Mark Archer. A 34, I was the CEO and president of a private company that started as a small toolmaking business 12 years ago. We found a unique opportunity making motor mounts for home security cameras. We worked hard to connect with private investigation companies that needed reliable surveillance equipment. Over time, we built a strong base of customers who trusted us to deliver high quality mounts that could be controlled remotely.

12:19Eight years ago, we acquired a small phone that produced outstanding color cameras with a strong zoom feature. The whole system, including a powerful transmitter and receiver that could work with a regular TV, was smaller than a lipstick case. Now, my small company had everything and began selling our products across the state with plans to expand online. Later, we bought a couple of private investigation agencies and turned them into a division called information and surveillance associates. Within a year, we ate branches in three other cities. Overall, Massachusetts industries was doing well though we kept a low profile. In my office, I signed a papers that my secretary and office manager handed to me without looking too closely. This was part of my daily routine. They didn't really need much from me except my signature. I often tease her by calling her radar and I did it again now. She always gently reminded Colonel Potter to focus on his work. Maggie was the heart of our office. When she took a vacation, things didn't run as smoothly and I worried about the day she would say she was retiring. To avoid that day, I made sure she was paid well just like the three vice presidents.

13:21She understood this while they did not. Every day the world gets a little weirder and a lot more awesome. Cool stuff daily takes a look at everything from mining in space to the latest in the fight against cancer to how AI is basically changing everything. It's all the cool stuff you didn't know you needed to know. Join us for cool stuff daily as we take a quick look at science, tech and the weight. What stories that make you sound way smarter at dinner. Subscribe to cool stuff daily now because the future is happening fast and it's way too fun to miss. Hi, this is Alex Cantrowitz. I'm the host of Big Technology podcast, a longtime reporter and an on-air contributor to CNBC. And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is changing the business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it. Asking where this is all going, they come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon and plenty more.

14:24So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, and meetings with your colleagues and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology podcast wherever you get your podcasts. Maggie, I said when she brought me my first cup of coffee, could you ask call winters to come see me? Sure, she replied quickly, clearly curious. Can I tell him why? I shook my head but felled as she explained a bit. Maggie had been like a second mother to me ever since we started in a refurbished warehouse. Just tell him I need to be one of his clients, I said carefully, not looking at her. She pauls for a moment. I'm really sorry, Mark, she said softly before leaving, making me wonder what she might have guessed. Carl led our combined surveillance and investigation team, and Maggie had sensed something from my request. What's up, Mark? Carl asked as he walked into my office. I motioned for him to close the heavy door. I sat quietly, looking at nothing in particular, while he took a sip of the tea Maggie had made for him. Carl, I started but had to stop to clear my throat, feeling tight and anxious. I'm ord Laura might be getting involved in something she could regret.

15:25I said carefully, choosing my words. I'm sorry to hear that, he answered. We both took a deep breath. Carl placed his mug on the corner of my desk and felt for a moment. Well, he finally said after some silence, we have what we need to look into this. I can bring in some temporary staff to let our experts focus on it. Can you give me Laura's work schedule, contact information, and any account details? I nodded, realizing Carl wanted to make sure we had the right help for the job. I opened my briefcase and got the documents I prepared over the weekend. I arranged for Carl to list me as a paying customer for information and surveillance associates using my personal checking account. This would help in case anyone checked on things. We talked about ways to quietly watch Laura to see where she went and who she met. I felt a heavy guilt but it seemed necessary. The hurt from the past weekend, along with the growing distance from Laura, made mini dancers. If Laura were innocent, she wouldn't have to know about the investigation. Maybe I could suggest seeing a marriage counselor to work through any issues together. I really needed to know what was going on if she was doing something wrong.

16:27When you and Carl's team got into Laura's car at her office, it wasn't hard since I had access to it. They placed a small device under the driver's seat to listen and keep truck of her. Carl had seven skilled people in the case and used several cars for the job. I mechanically checked all the vehicles to make sure they would work well. There was also another woman, a freelancer, with great experience, who had applied to work at Laura's accounting firm and was set to start next week. Carl told me to relax and let him handle things. There were procedures to follow in situations like this, and it was best for me to stay out of it for now. That made me feel even worse. If Laura was being unfaithful, it was common enough that there were already steps to take. He also told me I had a choice. If they found out about any plan meetings, they could step in if I wanted, or we could just get a proof for a divorce. I chose to interrupt any meeting they discovered. I didn't have to think twice about it. I wanted my wife back. He nodded and asked me to avoid causing any stress for Laura. He would update me when there was news. I told him that a moment had already passed.

17:27That night, I called him from the basement after listening to the recording from the phone taps. The information wasn't legal, but it wasn't meant for court anyway. Carl picked up on the second ring. Carl? I asked my voice shaking with emotion, and he noticed right away. No, what's wrong? He said, clearly word. I took a deep breath to study myself. Remember the phone taps? I had you set up when we built the house. I asked. Yes, sorry we couldn't get the remote monitor in done today, but I know, Carl, there's only so much time in a day. Don't worry. Anyway, I have a recording of a conversation between Laura and a guy named Brian around 7pm. I took a shaky breath and continued. You will hear it tomorrow, but Brian talked about seeing Laura again soon. I wanted to cry, but held it back. I called feeling saddled in my stomach. I felt numb as if I were wrapped in layers that blocked out everything. My chest hurt and breathing was hard. Laura was involved with someone else, and I just couldn't understand why. I tried to clear my throat. Anyway, Carl, I said once I was calmer, that changes what we need to do.

18:31I'm going to call Pete tomorrow morning to start the process of getting a divorce from Laura, so now we need to gather all the evidence we can find. Pete is Peter Robinson, a well-known lawyer for MA Industries and also my personal lawyer. Yeah, Mark, I guess there's not much else we can do, Carl sits lowly. Mark, I'm really sorry he added. I just don't have the words to say how sorry I am. His sympathy did help a bit. Yeah, I know, Carl, I replied, feeling a bit stronger. Thanks, partner, but this is on Laura. It's no one else's fault. I have a little girl who will be heartbroken. She and I are the ones suffering, and I really don't understand why Laura chose this. I tried to focus. I didn't want to stay side for too long. Okay, I just wanted you to know we're going in a different direction starting now. I told him. I'll see you in the office tomorrow morning. All right? Sure, Mark, he agreed. Hey, take it easy tonight. Okay. Don't do anything you regret. He said seriously. I knew he reminded me to avoid making any rash decisions regarding Laura. I'm fine, Carl, I assured him.

19:33I watched the tape three hours ago, and I'm already moving on from that. I pause for a moment. I will tell you, Carl, I won't be close to her tonight or any night. I'll think of an excuse, but I can't be near someone who betrays me. There are things I can accept and things I just can't. I know it'll complicate things, but I just can't. My voice shook, but Carl didn't comment on it. That's okay, he said gently. It might take longer, Mark, but people in these situations often underestimate their partners. They think they can hide things. But it's more predictable than they realize. I didn't respond. Well, you hang in there, boss, Carl say. This will all work out in the end. No matter how it goes, you understand. You come out stronger. One way or another, yeah, I will, I replied, but I didn't truly believe it. All I could see was a difficult road ahead filled with pain and embarrassment for me and my daughter. I hadn't even started to think about how this would affect her. Okay, Mark, call me if you need anything. All right. Even if it's just a talk, he said. I told him I would and hung up.

20:34I turned on the equipment again to hear more about Laura and however she was worth. That night, I slept in a guest bedroom down the hall telling Laura I had a sore throat and might snore. She agreed without question. I mentioned that it would be closer to Alissa if she needed one of us during the night. Laura didn't seem to know that Alissa had wet the bed a couple of times last week, but she just shrugged and went back to her medicine. What I saw was an emotional issue for our daughter didn't seem to affect Laura at all. The next afternoon, Carl brought me a report. Laura had a colleague named Brian Collier who worked in the same office. Brian was one of the three division supervisors like Laura. He had a wife named Pamela who worked part-time at an insurance office across town. They had two kids, a nine-year-old boy and a seven-year-old girl. Brian was 38, the little taller than me, but thinner. In my teens, I had boxed for fun and started lifting waste to get stronger. I stopped boxing when I went to college, but still worked out a couple of times each week. From the one photo Carl found, Brian looked more like a runner than any type of serious athlete. I wasn't sure what women found attractive, but I thought Brian might be appealing to the average person,

21:38but nothing special. I wondered what had drawn Laura to him, making her forget our promises to each other. Carl managed to get two years of Laura's phone records by using a contact at the phone company. His team looked through them and their initial findings were concerning. At first, there were only a few calls between Laura and Brian spaced out over time. About six months ago, those calls started happening weekly, then daily, and now there were two of three times a day, mainly in the evening or early morning. Carl knew my work schedule and told me that Laura and Brian often spoke every morning shortly after left for work. The evening calls usually came from Laura, likely when I was busy in the basement walking out while our daughter was nearby. The timing fit my typical routine. Do you remember anything significant that might explain why the calls increased around that time? Carl asked, keeping things very professional, which helped me manage the situation. I leaned back in my chair, resting my feet on my desk, and Carl mirrored my relaxed posture. Then a thought struck me. Oh, well, there was that training seminar in Chicago a couple of weeks before the calls picked up. Laura attended it for a company that hired her friend to review their financial records.

22:40I said, recalling more details as I spoke. You know, I began. I paused as a piece of a memory came together in my mind. I took Laura to the airport for that, I said slowly, and that guy was the two, getting on the same plane. I can remember it so clearly. Okay, Carl replied with confidence. I'll have my family keep searching for another connection, but I think the seminar started everything. Too many clues lead back to it. I agreed. I don't believe in coincidence as either. Carl looked at his notebook. That's all for now, boss, he said. We got the credit card companies to send us digital copies of all the activities from the past year. It helps that you and Laura share accounts. Oh, that reminds me. We'll check your bank records later today to see if there's anything there. I'll inform you about what we find, all right. I was impressed by how much information had already been gathered. They'd only been working on this for a couple of days. How did you get all of that without my permission? I asked. I wondered if I should really be concerned about how easily banks and phone companies share personal information.

23:41Carl smiled. You gave permission for all of it, he said. I raised my eyebrows in surprise. He chuckled. Boss, you probably have no idea what you sign when Nagy puts a pile of papers in front of you, right. I smiled and nodded. My grin faded. I used to say it trusted Maggie almost as much as I trusted my wife. Now, Maggie was at the top of the list. All right, all right, I said. Raising my hands in defeat. Go on and face the bad guys and girls added. By Thursday, Carl and his team had gathered a lot of information about my wife and her new friend. Two investigators have gone to Chicago and they had already found several people at the seminar who remembered Laura and Brian being very close. One desk clerk who had seen a lot of their interactions had thought they were married until he realized they had different last names. Another few people at the hotel were Laura and Brian stayed remembered them as regular as at the lounge where they spent time together. They often returned to their rooms in the early morning hours. The lounge manager had even asked them to calm down the behavior two times. Carl's two investigators mentioned they were working with the hotel management to find out

24:44if the security camera footage from the time was still available and if it could be obtained for a reasonable fee. Carl told me with a grin that meant getting the tapes for cash. I nodded in understanding. I could tell what he meant by how he spoke. A freelance worker had been brought in to help Laura's team sooner than planned and she was already saying that Brian and Laura were often seen together at work. It seemed that their boss was aware and had told them several times to keep things professional. Laura had even lost a pay increase because of a bad review link to her behavior. I noted that down. My lawyer would want to know about a company that didn't do much to uphold the most andes in their employees' contracts. The freelancer was in the payroll department and had gotten Laura and Mr. Colley's pay records at attendance details. It looked like they were taking off 102 afternoons a week for private meetings. Information from our banksharedware. Laura was paying for most of those days at a budget motel on the edge of town. To me, that showed how poorly they were managing the situation. They couldn't even meet a decent hotel downtown. The group of friends Laura claimed to see at night was mostly single or recently

25:44divorced women looking for companionship. Laura had asked them to keep quiet but most of them, except for a woman named Kathy, were quick to share details with the investigators. A small amount of money got most of them to sh- Hi, this is Alex Cantrowitz. I'm the host of Big Technology Podcast, a long time reporter and an on-air contributor to CNBC. And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is changing the business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it. Asking where this is all going. They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon, and plenty more. So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, and meetings with your colleagues and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology Podcast wherever you get your podcasts. Every day the world gets a little weirder, and a lot more awesome. Cool stuff daily takes a look at everything from mining and space to the latest and the fight against cancer to how AI is basically changing everything.

26:45It's all the cool stuff you didn't know you needed to know. Join us for cool stuff daily as we take a quick look at science, tech, and the, wait, what? Stories that make you sound way smarter at dinner. Subscribe to cool stuff daily now because the future is happening fast and it's way too fun to miss. To be looking into her friend's life, she was right to think it was me, I was the most likely person to be checking. A background check on Cathy Shirt, she had been divorced twice once when she found her husband with another woman, and again when her new husband learned about her affair with someone else. For years, Cathy had gone from one relationship to another. Twice, she was named in divorce cases for allegedly trying to attract the husbands.

27:46Somehow, this woman had become part of my wife's circle friends, even though she didn't work in the same office as them. Cathy seemed to be encouraging things just because she could. We also knew that for now the $100 bribes were keeping the other woman quite since call it, copied Laura's cell phone. The other girls answered Laura's word calls with comforting words, similar to what Cathy had said. Laura never thought they would actually reveal her secret. So all Laura believed was that someone was asking questions, but she thought her friends were protecting her. I was amazed at how much information her team had gathered in such a short time. Brian and Laura were not very sharp, and Carl was a skill professional. They didn't stand a chance. The rest of that week and the following two were calm at home. Laura cancelled everything except for Friday night out on the town, and Carl's team confirmed the latest visited a couple of clubs in dance with nearly everyone who asked. They went home right after. Brian was a good husband and stayed with his wife and children. I heard that Brian's wife wasn't too happy having him around all the time and had complained about his sudden change in routine. I was surprised by how quickly the investigators questioning affected the girls in that small group.

28:49It seemed Laura and Brian had a sense of confidence about me after all. They had been involved for a long time, whatever it was. Just three weeks after the investigators talked to the group, phone intercepts started to become more frequent and revealing they believed everything had settled down and thought I had given up during this time. I moved almost entirely into the spare bedroom. I could hardly be near Laura when I got home at night, and there was no way I was going to be close to her. She hinted a few times that she wanted to feel close again, but I didn't respond. I read every book in a list of small collection and even bought more to enjoy with her. After I developed a loved cough, Laura didn't ask why I was sleeping away from her. She never mentioned I shouldn't be around the baby with a cough like that. Anyway, calls team noted that the late-night phone conversations between Laura and Brian increased a lot. On Wednesday of the third week, Laura and Brian planned to meet at their usual motel. Carl had everyone eager to gather proof against them and Pete, my lawyer, trained me on how to act. I arranged for Mandy a girlfriend down the street to watch Alice at that night. Laura, I said, please don't go out tonight. I was standing in the living room as she was heading for the door. Please, Laura, I begged. I really didn't want Laura to meet Brian.

29:53Mark, Laura said sharply. Then seeing that she couldn't leave without trying to make me feel better or tons often. Listen, nothing is happening, Mark. I'm just going out for a few drinks and maybe some dancing. That's all she said, looking calm. She hugged me and tried to show me that I was wrong about what I thought was going to happen. Laura, I said suddenly, I know you're meeting someone tonight, but he can't mean as much to you as I listen and I do. Please don't go. Laura pulled back, looking surprised. What do you mean? She asked a bit upset. I just know, I insisted. It's not fair to us. She seemed to think about it for a moment. I'm not sheeing on you, she said strongly. I'm tired of these claims and they need to stop, she warned. If you keep this up, I might look for someone who appreciates me. I had to look away. Laura, I began, my voice shaky. Don't say anything else, she said firmly. I have never betrayed you and I won't. Does that make you feel better? Angrily, she turned him work toward the door, putting on a light jacket. Laura, I said more calmly. If you ever do that, it will end our marriage.

30:55You know that right? We talked about this last year. For a moment, her hand stopped on the door and up. I told you, she said. I promise, I don't want anyone but you. Now I'm late and I need to go, she said. Without looking back, she left. 20 minutes later, I met with Carl and his team in a room next to Wellora and Brian would soon be. After our earlier conversation and some investigation over the past few weeks, I knew Laura and Brian had been driving around, checking if anyone was following them. Our GPS devices tracked their movements. Paul found out about their motel reservation almost immediately. Since we knew where they were headed, there was no need to chase them on the roads. Carl had paid the motel clerk to keep us updated. When Laura and Brian finally arrived, they parked in front of room 113. The motel had outside entrances and they went inside quickly, not noticing the surveillance equipment watching them. Carl observed me closely, understanding how difficult this was for me. Mark, he said softly, this won't be easy. Are you sure you're okay? I sat down and took a deep breath. Do you have anything to drink?

31:56I asked. He shook his head. No, but take this pill, he said trying to help me relax. I accepted it and grabbed a soda from the cooler. Inside the motel room, Carl's team quietly set up more surveillance to keep track of everything. As the night went on, I battled the emotions rising inside me, knowing the truth would soon be clear. The idea was that if one camera missed something, the other two would catch it. Honestly, it was much of a sight. There was no warmth or care between them. Brian and Laura went through their motions without any real connection, and I studied Laura's face, unsure if her expression was showing discomfort or some kind of contentment. Wow, I said after watching for a minute or two. That guy doesn't seem better than me. His performance is an impressive at all. What's happening? I remembered how Laura had often wanted to compare me when we first got married and had even measured me with a ruler several times. She always seemed happy with what she found compared to others us. In the past, she had expressed joy about my size, but we hadn't shared the closeness in a while. I thought I knew why, but I wasn't completely sure. Brian looked like he was drying hard,

32:57but they seemed to have little creativity together, leaving me confused. What had attracted Laura to him in the first place? Later, I noticed Shuri, one of Carl's agents, looking my way. She glanced at the screens and shook her head with the smile. I thought I saw a spark of curiosity in her eyes. We both turned away knowing there were limits to our working relationship. She was attractive, though. Maybe one day things could change. After a while, I decided to walk away. There wasn't anything more to see. Brian and Laura were still interacting in a very normal way. The whole thing felt out and I couldn't understand what Laura appreciated about him or why she seemed to be letting go of our years together. Two of them didn't meet for a week and both were clearly annoyed that their schedules were conflicting. One day, Kathy approached Laura and suggested a trip to Las Vegas for the weekend. The investigators had gathered a lot of information about Kathy, showing her to be quite resentful. He both said she was bitter and had fallen out with her family due to past actions. In a secret phone call that was being listened to, Kathy explained her idea, hinting that she wanted to take Laura on a trip

33:57under the guise of winning tickets to Vegas. It was clearer that Kathy's intentions were not as innocent as they seemed. She mentioned bringing things along for the trip, suggesting her real purpose. Law quickly agreed but surprisingly invited Brian to join them as well, which seemed to bother Kathy when she found out later. I couldn't believe Brian thought Laura should pay for his part of the trip. He, my lawyer, told me he was thinking about involving Kathy in our ongoing legal issues because of her role in this. He wanted to make sure she understood the consequences of her actions, believing she should be responsible for her part in the situation. We talked about whether to confront them immediately or wait until after the Vegas trip. I was eager to act right away, but Pete suggested we give them more time to show their true intentions. If Laura openly ignored our marriage for as well away, the impact would be much greater. The detectives were at the same casino hotel where Kathy, Brian, and Laura were staying. They had buttrooms that let them keep an eye on what was happening, making sure they could gather evidence effectively. It only took a few seconds for the clerk to enter the reservation on the computer. He probably thought it was the easiest job he'd ever done.

34:59Just a short distance from Laura's room, we had free cameras ready to record things. Karl believed we had a good chance of capturing something interesting. He mentioned that people in high-rise buildings often forget they can be seen, thinking they are hidden even if they pulled the cut-ins. Karl's team had a device that could detect tiny movements or sounds from inside. We would only get audio recordings, but the quality would be enough to identify who was speaking Karl explained that this technology had been found during the Cold War and was often used by intelligence agencies, of course. I was also going to record the phone call. I was set to call Laura one last time to ask her to come back to me. My lawyer saw it as just a planned script, but I hoped it might truly resonate with her. My feelings were all mixed up. I felt a deep hurt to worry, especially since I had indeed an all day. Karl and his team left me at home, but I could still see what the cameras were capturing. A detective following them noticed they were drinking and having a good time on the plane. Laura, I said into the phone, noticing she was busy moving around the room and having trouble reaching for her. What? She replied sharply. She stepped away from her friends when she heard my voice. Please come home, I begged. We can work things out. I tried to sound gentle using the lines

36:03my attorney suggested to show her how serious the situation was. Think of a listen. Think of what this will mean for her. It's surprising how long someone can hold onto hope, even while witnessing something precious falling apart. I loved Laura, but in that moment, it was hard to feel fond of her. She quickly confirmed my fears. Forget you, Laura shouted into the phone. I've told you before I am done with your doubts. It was hard for me to accept her words given what I knew about her actions. For what it's worth, she added softly. I might meet someone tonight. How does that sound? I was shocked by the negativity in her voice. This was the same woman who had once come to me for support during tough times. Laura, I replied hesitantly. I don't understand why you want to shake things up like this. Think about how reflexalisa. Laura interrupted her voice getting louder. Just go away and leave me alone. When we see each other again, we'll talk about this. You better prepare yourself. She ended the call suddenly, throwing the phone onto the bed. On Sunday morning, Carl and the team packed up everything and

37:04sent it home. Tired, they boarded a plane and slept the whole way back. We had gathered so much information, videos, photos, phone records, and financial details that my lawyer could hardly keep up. He felt overwhelmed for a while. He planned to start divorce proceedings just before noon on Monday. After that, he would have about six months to go through everything before the state would move forward with the divorce. One key piece of evidence we could use right away was the video showing my wife's behavior. She had yelled at me and now daughter after previously promising she wouldn't. We recorded it through an open window, capturing what was happening outside. Additionally, we included footage from my home security cameras that showed numerous moments where Laura didn't seem to care about Alissa. One scene showed Alissa running down the stairs to try to stop Laura from leaving. Other clips showed Laura ignoring Alissa and in one case, telling to help herself to breakfast because she was too busy. All of this was gathered and presented to a jargherly Monday morning. The judge quickly ground in me a temporary order giving me full custody until the family caught could look at the case. Another order kept Laura away from Alissa until further review. There were several other motions approved almost immediately.

38:10It's interesting what someone with money and power can achieve in a short time. In truth, I was helping my lawyer earn more. Monday mornings were never easy at accounting firm. Some staff members often drank a bit too much over the weekend. Most of the other staff stayed at their desks were chatted near the coffee machine until everyone calmed down. Hi, this is Alex Cantrowitz. I'm the host of Big Technology podcast, a longtime reporter and an on-air contributor to CNBC. And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is changing the business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it. Asking where this is all going, they come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon and plenty more. So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, and meetings with your colleagues and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology podcast wherever you get your podcasts. Every day the world gets a little weirder and a lot more awesome. Cool stuff daily takes a look at everything from mining and space to the latest in the

39:13fight against cancer to how AI is basically changing everything. It's all the cool stuff you didn't know you needed to know. Join us for cool stuff daily as we take a quick look at science, tech and the wait what stories that make you sound way smarter at dinner. Subscribe to cool stuff daily now because the future is happening fast and it's way too fun to miss. After lunch, a large man in a gray suit walked in from the hallway. Some women noticed him, but he didn't seem interested in anyone. He kept looking at a picture in his right hand while glancing at each woman until he found the one he was looking for. He stood in front of her as she spoke quietly to a tall, serious looking man and a short man who was close by. She seemed a bit upset and was trying to move away from them. Her eyes showed she was worried even though she was trying to listen to her supervisor. Laura Archer, the big man asked in a deep voice, surprising the group. The woman turned and nodded looking uneasy. She watched as he pulled a thick envelope from his cook pocket. You, ma'am, he said loudly, are served. He paused to make sure

40:16everyone was listening. He set his briefcase on a nearby desk and started taking out some legal papers. This, he told a shock Laura, is a copy of the divorce petition that was filed this morning. Mr. Mark Archer wants to finish the divorce quickly. He handed her another set of papers. This is a court order telling you to stay at least 1,000 feet away from the home that you share with Mr. Archer. He dropped another set of documents into her hands. This is a temporary order preventing you from contacting Mr. Archer's daughter, Alissa Ralph Archer, for any reason. You cannot make phone calls, send emails, write letters, or try to reach Miss Archer in any way. Is that clear, ma'am? He asked. Laura nodded slowly, not sure what to think. Her worry was obvious to everyone around her and a crowd began to gather. Mr. Archer, the big man continued, wants you to know that all we were joined credit cards were cancelled two eyes ago. You were joined checking and savings accounts have also been closed. This money is half of what was in those accounts. He held up a cashier's check with a friend and added it to the stack of papers in Laura's hands. Mr. Archer also wants you to know that all your

41:19clothes and personal items are being packed right now and will be put on a truck head into your old home. Your things will be put in storage and you can get them whenever you want. You can reach out to Mr. Archer's lawyer at the number on the scar. You will not be allowed to go back into the home that you once shared with Mr. Archer. The tall man spoke firmly. I need to let you know that the locks have been changed and the security codes in the house have been updated. He looked down at the woman who was now crying without any sign of concern. Then he saw the shorter man trying to sneak away. Mr. Collier, he called out loudly. There's no need to rush. He pulled out another envelope from his briefcase and handed it roughly to Brian Collier. He had been served. The tall man stated, congratulations he continued. You are mentioned as a part of the case between Archer and Archer and he took out another stack of papers from the briefcase. You are also involved in a civil case filed this morning by Mr. Archer claiming you have acted inappropriately in relation to the marriage of Mark Archer and Laura Archer. Brian looked shocked and held onto the desk to steady himself. The tall man noticed Laura's supervisor in the room and walked over to deliver a

42:20notice about a lawsuit filed against him as well. This lawsuit was demanding that Mark Archer be compensated for not enforcing a company's rule for regarding employee behaviour. From the back of the room, I observed everything but felt little. I was cold, my expression hard and unyielding. I stood quietly by the doors where the process server had entered. I had given him extra money to deliver a check and other papers to my wife. While it wasn't part of his job, I wanted to make that clear to Laura. I saw the moment she understood how much trouble she was in. When she fell to the floor, I turned and left through the large doors. I watched my scene towed by ex-wife enter the dark conference room. I was seated at the end of a lawn table by the windows. The bright sunlight kept my face hidden in shadow, making her squint to see me. I sat back in a large chair, trying to appear relaxed, even though I wasn't. I had practiced staying calm many times. I wanted to talk to you before all the lawyers got involved, Laura said timidly. She pulled out a chair not far away and sat down. It had been almost four months since she lost her job and moved in with her brother. Her hair was almost back to shoulder length after she had

43:21cut it for her job. She looked thinner and low on energy as if she hadn't been eating or sleeping well. There were dark circles under her eyes. I felt for her but I made sure not to show any of that. A moment like this, I was putting on my business face. The one I usually showed to employees and colleagues. It was often a rather cold expression. I know you are here. I said softly to my wife. She nodded but avoided looking at me. Eventually she had no choice but to look at me directly. Mark, she said quietly. I want to start by saying I am truly sorry for what I've done to you and to our daughter. I remain silent. I know my words are not enough. They can't make up for all the pain I've caused but they are all I can say, she whisper. I'm struggling to. Mark, she continued. I can't understand why I acted the way I did and it is making me feel lost. After a long pause, I felt the need to break the silence. I must disagree. I said simply. You haven't truly felt pain, Laura, until you've had to tell a three-year-old that her mother may never come home to her. Laura began to cry softly. It's been four months since I had to tell her

44:24that and she still cries herself to sleep most nights. It's only recently that I've managed to get her to smile sometimes. I stated, watching her break down further. She gets very upset when anyone tries to keep her from me if I have to leave her for a longer time. I added quietly. She fears that one day I won't come back for her. Can you imagine how terrifying that is for a little girl who is not quite for? Can you? I took a moment to breathe while Laura continued to sob. She's in a new daycare at the work-campus, I told her. I had to set that up so I never far away. If too much time passes, she becomes very anxious. I watched Lauren cry for a bit longer. But on a brighter note, I said more cheerfully than I felt. Work productivity has increased among the single parents here and it is almost already paying for itself. This didn't seem to affect her mood. I let the silence linger. Why? I asked as gently as I could. Why did you do it, Laura? I love you deeply and you shattered my heart. There's a huge emptiness inside me now and I can't even start to heal until I understand why this happened. She just shook her head, letting her

45:26cheers continue. I noticed she had chosen not to whim make up, probably expecting to cry. She was still beautiful, maybe even more so now than when I first met her. My heartache watching her. I wanted to cry too. I lost my younger brother in a car accident when I was a teenager. Today I felt more heartbroken than I did then and I still didn't know how to find a way forward. I wasn't sure if the sadness inside me would ever go away at this time. I don't know why she said after a long pause. I think I might be losing my mind. She went quiet. I can't change what I've done, Mark, she said softly. I don't deserve your forgiveness and I won't ask for it. She whispered, I've hurt the only man I can ever love so much. I will carry that pain for the rest of my life and I don't know how to fix it. I was thinking about the past and how my actions had hurt my daughter. I could still remember my own words from that night telling someone to take her far away. She paused and stared at the ceiling. Tears rolled on her cheeks. I almost reached for the remote to choose the scene that bothered her but I realized she already knew the pain it sure. After a while,

46:28her two stopped. I could tell she was tired so I quietly put the remote in a drawer. I'm seeing a counselor, she said slowly. I'm trying to understand how I hurt so many people and mess up our lives. Her fingers twisted nervously. I talked to Stacey Collier, she continued. I said sorry for what I did to her family. She was nice to me and I don't really know why. Her gaze fell to the table. Stacey's Ed Bryan often found someone new at his jobs. She learned to cope but now she's had enough. She's leaving him and is starting a relationship with a good man who cares for her children and she feels he is a gift in her life. I knew about Stacey's situation and felt a surprising relief that Laura showed regret and wanted to take responsibility for her past. A small spark of hope grew in me, thinking about the chance for healing. What is the doctor saying to you? I asked. Laura looked down and avoiding my eyes. We haven't made much progress she admitted. It hurts but I realized there was something behind my heavy drinking. It were you influenced in any way? I asked gently. For the first time she looked into my eyes and I could see a mix of

47:30feelings on her face. I'm not sure she said finally. Maybe the first time I was it felt like I lost control. She paused, swallowing hard. That first time I had too much to drink. Her voice faded. I can't put all the blame on that. Sometimes I just felt overwhelmed, she added quietly. I wish I could give an excuse, but I can't. I want to find out the real reasons in my counseling. She was quite for a moment only starting again when I shifted in my seat. Mark, she said, I raised my eyebrows asking her to continue. Would you think about seeing the counselor? She wants to ask you some questions that might help. Her words came out quickly showing her urgency to avoid my rejection. When? I asked. Laura looked surprised. You'll agree to this? She asked her voice full of emotion. I shrugged a little. I'm still your husband. I replied seriously. I will do my best to support you as long as it doesn't hurt our child. I thought about my little girl. She was my main concern. A flicker of hope appeared in Laura's eyes. I thought about making a joke but decided against it. I was willing

48:34to explore any option that could help my daughter. My love for Laura was still there and love doesn't just fade but it was mixed with feelings of betrayal. Still my daughter came first. That fact was more important than anything else I felt. Tomorrow afternoon? She asked nervously. Is that too soon? I can check for another time. Tomorrow at two o'clock o'clock is good for me. I replied. I will be there. Laura's eyes began to water again but there was a glimmer of hope in them. Thank you she started maybe wanting to say something sweet but hesitated. Thank you. Mark, she finally said. She began to stand up slowly like someone getting up after a long struggle. Before you go I said I've had a health check and everything is fine have you. She nodded in response. I always took precautions she said a hint of bitterness in her voice. I stayed quiet knowing nothing is ever certain even with precautions. Laura I said calmly is there anything else you'd like to share about those hard times. She flints slightly at my words but met my gaze with determination. No she responded quietly.

49:36I told you how sorry I am for what I did and how it affected you and my daughter. I don't know why it all happened. That's everything I wanted to say. And I wanted to ask if you would talk to the counselor. I paused waiting for her to add anything else. It felt like she had gone through a list of things she needed to say. Laura come sit with me will you. I asked. She sat down turning to face me with her hands in her lap waiting for more words for me. When your lawyer asked if I would meet with you I thought about many things. I wondered if you were going to be angry like that night in Vegas. I soft as she lowered her head. I remembered the regret on her face in the video right after she had said those hurtful words. I tried to call you back she said softly. After I realized what I had done I felt so guilty. I knew that. It had been clear in the footage college showing me. She had been upset and her feelings of remorse were obvious. It was a bit late but it was still real. I know I said gently. When I heard yesterday that you wanted to say you a sorry I thought you might template it or make excuses like I see in reality shows about

50:37strobing marriages. If you tried to say your actions had nothing to do with me or if you claimed you could fix everything I would have asked you to leave. Laura shook her head to streaming down her face again. I poured her a glass of cold water and slid it across the table. She thanked me with her eyes. You didn't do any of that and your mother told me you never talked badly about me to your family. She said you took full responsibility from the day you moved back home. Laura raised her hands in a silent gesture of helplessness. I took a deep breath. I felt like I might be making a mistake. It was a step back from a strong position but I had a daughter struggling with her fears and it had been too long since I had heard her laugh. If there was even a small chance to help her I had to take it. I needed it too. The deep pain inside me was overwhelming. Laura I said lightly does a restroom over there pointing to a small door nearby. Why don't you go freshen up a bit? She nodded. Relief she could wash her face before facing the world again. Before she walked away it took out some idrops and set them near her hand. Here I said as she stood up you some of

51:38this it should help. She thanked me again with a nod. I picked up the phone and pressed the intercom from my secretary downstairs. Maggie I said when she picked up. Could you get Alissa from the daycare and bring her to conference room C please? Thank you. I hung up the phone. Laura was halfway to the restroom when she stopped and looked back at me. She seemed shocked not fully believing I meant what she thought she had heard. For a moment she just stared. Laura I said softly I would have led you see her anytime you wanted. I would never keep you from her. She hung her head again. I felt too guilty about the things I said and how I treated her she confessed. I was afraid I would just start crying and not be able to stop. That wouldn't have helped her. She paused for a moment. Are you sure it's okay? She asked quietly. I looked into her eyes trying to decide if it was truly okay before the moment past and Alissa arrived. I made a quick choice trusting my gut as I often do in business. She'll be here in a few minutes. Shouldn't you get ready to see her? I whispered. Laura started to cry again but she smiled for her tears. She rushed into the

52:41restroom trying to wipe her eyes with a tissue as she walked. I turned to the big window looking out at the bright sunshine while I waited for my daughter to arrive. The sun shining birds are singing and all feels right in the world. Until the season changes and suddenly you lose your motivation to get out of bed. In fact one in five people experience some form of depression no matter the season or time of year. At the American Psychiatric Association Foundation our vision is to build a mentally healthy nation for all because we want you to live your best life and be your best you all year round. Please visit mentallyhealthination.org to learn more.

53:44Professional sounds good for both of us I said. She studded me for a moment tapping her pen on her notebook. I held her gaze. Laura mentioned you let her see your daughter yesterday she said. I don't think you understand how much that meant to your wife. I scoff lightly. Doctor please don't treat me like I don't know what's going on I replied. I didn't wait for her to answer. I know how important it was to her and I know it meant a lot to our daughter too I added. The doctor's eye showed concern. Yes she said slowly taking her time. It was a good visit for both of them. I hope you plan to let them see each other again. I nodded. As long as I see progress in Laura's situation I say plainly. I told her yesterday and I'll tell you now doctor. If she goes back to the behavior she showed last year I won't hesitate to stop visits. Doctor Jansson looked at me closely but then I might have to take my daughter to the best specialist of round I added softly because she and I would both be facing tough times. The doctor stayed quiet for a moment. You are very thoughtful and interesting man Mr. Archer she said slowly. You have a strength in you I didn't recognize from

54:48Laura's description. It seems you show one side to your work and another to your family. She looked at me thoughtfully for some time. Allowing Laura an elicit to meet and hoping they can heal shows you have a lot of compassion for your family she finally said. There didn't seem to be a question in what she said so I kept quiet do you know Laura feels so guilty about what she's done because she loves you. The doctor said this hoping I would say something wrong I looked at her calmly and paused before answering yes I know that I replied but love might not be enough to fix this I said there are many deep wounds my daughter and I have that are just starting to heal and we can't be sure they will fully heal I glanced at my wife's doctor maybe a bit defiantly. I felt she thought Laura was the victim and that I had pushed my wife into a tough situation. Doctor Jansson looked at me with more understanding than I expected. Yes Mr. Archer I understand. My job is to help make sense of those wounds she said softly. I hope I can help all of you move past what happened and become a family again. I shoot my head. Doctor before we think about moving forward I need to know why this happened I told her. Laura has created a divide in me so wide and deep that I don't know if

55:49I can ever feel whole again. If I can't we will never be a family again. I locked eyes with the doctor I felt a mix of to find some worry. I let this woman psychologist see a part of me. Given what happened with Laura just four months ago that could be tough on my state of mind is it about the relationship Laura had with this other man? She asked. I shook my head. Laura and I weren't an experience when we got married I explained. I believe I can put the past behind me and not let it affect our future. I don't think that part is the main issue I said pausing to gather my thoughts. The doctor flipped through a note but until she found something she looked at closely while I stayed quiet. Doctor I continued. I care less about her relationship and more about why happened I said softly. These days someone who meet a person in a college junior year doesn't expect to find someone without experience to marry. I looked into her dark eyes for a while deciding whether to say more. Have you seen the two videos of her moment with him? I finally asked. The doctor nodded. Okay I was going to suggest you watch them if you hadn't

56:51I said. The thing is doctor seeing her with that man lessens the pain a bit I noted. It's not enjoyable it hurts and it's upsetting that she would share herself with someone else but the ridiculousness of it dulls the hurt a little I'm not sure what Laura is thinking but I feel like the conversations were pretty dull and not what I would expect from a partner I waited as the doctor seemed to be deciding what to say Laura told me to be completely honest with you she said at last. Small smile appearing on her face for the first time that he didn't put it in Laura's words. He wasn't someone special I couldn't help but smile back at her in surprise but my smile quickly faded. I don't get it. If she felt that way why did she do it doctor? I ask quickly. Mr. Archer why Laura acted the way she did is going to be very complicated. Right now I really think she does not understand why it happened. She replied slowly. We minute dark I said. This didn't just happen once. It happened many times over several months. It's not just a single vent I have to deal with okay? I force myself to relax in the chair. I know that mark she said gently. I was trying to make light of this and near there is Laura.

57:53She leaned back and looked straight at me. What I mean Mr. Archer is that what I help Laura uncover is likely not going to be one clear reason for as she calls it breaking your trust. It might be a mix of things that all came together at just the right moment. The doctor leaned forward tilting her head slightly to look me in the eyes. If that's the case Mr. Archer will you be able to handle that? She asked her tone for him. I'm not sure doctor. Are you saying Laura has some emotional issues that led to all this? She nodded without much expression. That didn't help me at all. If you can explain it to me in a way that makes sense doctor it maybe. I'm willing to work on it. Dr. Jameson nodded quickly. Her expression showed I was on the right track. But doctor I said holding up my hand to pause her enthusiasm. I don't do complicated talk okay? I'm an engineer. Ideal and clear facts right and wrong. I'm going to be skeptical of an answer to her problems that wrapped in confusing turns and gives her a way to excuse her actions without giving me any clear understanding doctor. I set still for a moment.

58:55Counselor is often a last more moments of silence without rushing to fill them. I'm not talking about getting back at her. Dr. Jameson though I have felt that way. I said thoughtfully. I made sure Laura faced some consequences for what she did. I made the process of serving her the divorce papers as public as I could so everyone she knew would see. I had to give the server a little extra but it was worth it. I also made sure that the other person was released quickly. Laura loved her job and I know her her when she lost it. I've also taken steps to legally challenge him. At the very least it'll be a financial burden for him for a long time with attorney fees and other issues. I stayed quiet for a bit longer. I won't hide it from you doctor. I have felt some satisfaction in that and I've enjoyed sharing it with you. I smiled at her perhaps a little too much. Dr. Jameson took a tiny step back almost without me noticing. I could tell she was aware that I could be both determined and strong willed. That said doctor I don't really want to seek more revenge beyond what I've already done. He has enough to deal with now and I went out to his troubles. I know Laura is also having a tough

59:56time I continued whether it's because of my actions or her feelings about what she has done but I don't feel the need to make her struggles worse. Then I realized I was going off topic. The doctor had asked me a question and I still hadn't answered. Doctor what I really want you to understand is that if I go forward with this I need to see some real benefits. If I try to push down all that she's done and my own anger and embarrassment because Laura has faced some emotional troubles then I need to be sure that those same problems won't come back in our marriage. I paused when I noticed the doctor gently shaking her head. I can't promise that. Mr. Archer she replied softly. No one can but we can work towards understanding what led to the changes at Laura's behaviour that saw it a few months before she got involved in these issues. We can help her recognise the factors that influenced her, look at them openly and work through them so she can handle them properly. Nothing is certain. Understanding the human mind has always been difficult for experts and we haven't made much progress. What we can do is teach Laura and you to Mr. Archer how to spot signs of emotional challenges and how to communicate effectively about them. This can help prevent you from drifting apart again and falling into harm.

1:00:59The doctor paused for a moment. Emotional challenges. What do you mean? I shifted in my chair feeling a bit uneasy. Okay, Doc, I said slowly. You have my attention. Are you saying there are some serious mental issues behind this? Not just a small problem. The doctor shook her head gently. It's not just boredom or a mood swing or something like that she said. Mr. Archer, I've reviewed everything about Laura's life over the last few years. Unless she is not being honest, there seems to be no unusual behaviour until she started reacting to Brian. Laura remembers this change happening about the year before you noticed her acting differently. Before that, she saw his interest in her but never thought of him as a partner. I've worked in this field for 26 years and such a big shift in behaviour often means something deeply upsetting has occurred. I nodded even if I wasn't completely sure about her conclusions. I knew she was experienced. Kyle's team had also investigated Laura and my waiting and found no signs of cheating. They concluded Laura's unhappiness began about five or six months before the cameras captured her actions with Brian. They gathered evidence from her former co-workers

1:02:04that suggested Brian had been after her for a while before she got involved with him. I didn't believe in coincidences so I could see the truth in what the doctor said. I sat quietly, lost in thought. I hadn't expected any of this. Laura had mentioned feeling like she was losing her mind, but I thought that was just a way to avoid discussing her actions. I hadn't considered that she might have been facing some emotional challenges. I wasn't sure if it was good or bad that she might not fully understand why she had heard our family. I decided to put that aside for now. Okay, I finally said. The doctor looked up from her note curious about what I was thinking. Doctor, you're looking for a triggering event, right? Well, about four months ago, everything fell apart for us. Six months before that, Laura started to pull away. And then, about 16 months ago, I mean almost a year and a half ago, there must have been something significant. The doctor raised her eyebrows at my observations, but nodded. Yes, that sounds right, she said. I paused, thinking I might know what it was, but hope Laura had already told the counselor. Doctor, I started slowly uncertain if this would help. Did Laura mention that her

1:03:07aunt Ruth passed away around that time, maybe a bit before? Laura often thought about her aunt, and she was hard-broken when her aunt passed away unexpectedly. Dr. Jameson looked surprised and shook her head. No, she didn't. She said to me, her eyes distanced. My, she memorable, seeming lost in thought. I gently tapped her desk to bring her back to the moment. After she returned from the funeral, she sobbed for three days, I shared wanting to help. I took time off work to be there for her, but all I could do was hold her in office support. The doctor nodded, listening carefully as she focused deeply on what I was saying. Hey, hello, Dr. Jameson, a joke trying to lighten the mood. She blinked for focusing on me. Do you think her aunt's passing is important? I asked. She nodded firmly. Yes, and the fact that she didn't mention it to me is even more important, Mr. Archer, she said confidently, standing up quickly. Thank you for coming to talk with me, Mr. Archer. We must end our time now, but you've pointed out an important topic to explore with Laura. I can't fully understand it yet, but it seems promising. We returned to see me again. I nodded

1:04:11and handed her my card, writing my cell number on the back. Doctor, that's my personal number. Call me anytime if you need anything, I showed her. She looked a bit surprised as she was not used to taking requests from anyone. We shook hands and I left. I wasn't sure if Laura's situation pointed to an emotional issue, and I didn't know if that changed how I felt. The truth remained, Laura had hurt me and my daughter, causing a lot of pain. I doubted anything could change that. The sun shining, birds are singing, and all feels right in the world. Until the season changes, and suddenly you lose your motivation to get out of bed. In fact, one in five people experience some form of depression no matter the season or time of year. At the American Psychiatric Association Foundation, our vision is to build a mentally healthy nation for all, because we want you to live your best life and be your best you all year round. Please visit mentallyhealthynation.org to learn more. Two months later, you've talked with Dr. Jameson about your aunt Ruth, asked while watching a list of play in a maze of bright hollow tubes at Chucky, Jesus.

1:05:14I could only catch glimpses of her through the windows and plastic sections of the tubes. The cheerful sons of children filled the air, making the atmosphere lively and enjoyable for Laura and me to talk comfortably. Yes, she replied, just loud enough to be heard above the noise. But I'm not sure what she wants to know about Aunt Ruth and Dad, she continued her attention on a lesser who seemed to be navigating with an older girl. I was surprised to hear that Dr. Jameson was asking about her father. What did you mean about your father and aunt? I asked. She looked at me with a confused expression. What? She replied. You mentioned that Dr. Jameson was inquiring about Aunt Ruth and your dad, I explained. She shrugged and shook her head. I'm sorry I got distracted watching our daughter, Mark, she said with a hint of regret. I don't know why I mentioned that. She's been asking about Aunt Ruth, but we aren't really getting anywhere with it. I'm quite tired of talking about her. I understand, I replied. After a talk with Dr. Jameson a few weeks back, I became more aware of what Laura said and did. Aunt Ruth was your mother's sister, right? Laura nodded.

1:06:18Yes, Mom and Dad were very sad when Aunt Ruth had her stroke and passed away, she said. That makes sense, doesn't it, I said. Ruth lived with your parents for many years, didn't she? I tried to remember more about her family. We weren't very close, but I like them. Yes, Laura replied. She stood up and walked a little to make sure our daughter was safe and sound. I let's assume to be taking longer than expected to reach the next clear part of the play area, but I was sure she would appear soon. Your parents were very close to Ruth, right? I asked when Laura returned. What? Yes, pretty much, she answered. After Aunt Ruth's husband passed away, she moved in with my parents. That was gosh, about 25 years ago. Just then, Alyssa rushed back with another little girl following her. This is Terry, she said, grinning. Terry was almost five years old. Her parents waved from a nearby table, smiling as Alyssa offered Terry a piece of her pizza. Terry had a younger brother and a baby sister who were both fussing about something while their parents looked busy. Laura and I chatted for another 45 minutes while the two girls giggled and enjoyed a lot of pizza.

1:07:21I was trying to understand more about Laura and where she was coming from. I searched for hidden meanings behind her words and topics which was exhausting and tough. I wanted to tell her how upset I was about her actions, but Dr. Jainson had shared that Laura was going through a hard time emotionally. I didn't know how to react or what I should feel anymore. Can you be angry at someone who is struggling? It felt like punishing a child for behaving badly when they didn't mean to. Alyssa loved her time at the pizza place, especially meeting a friend her age. When we left, she happily skipped through the parking lot, holding my hand and Laura's. When we dropped Laura off at her brother's house, Alyssa took it in stride, unlike her tears and sadness from our last outing. I explained to Alyssa that the separation was like being sent to her room when she misbehaved, away for her to understand it better. She missed her mother, but she learned to cope. When she asked about her mother, I explained that I couldn't share other's reasons for things. It felt fair not to tell her about her mother's situation. Alyssa wasn't happy with my answer, but she accepted it and eventually fell asleep on the ride home. The next day, I called Dr. Janssen. I wanted to know if

1:08:24Laura's unexpected connection between her father and her aunt might be important. As she had before, she told me that anything Laura seemed hesitant to talk about good hold significance. She promised to update me after her next session with Laura. Nine days later, Dr. Janssen paused thinking carefully before speaking. Mr. Archer, during your first visit, you mentioned that neither you nor Laura had any serious relationship before marriage, correct. I nodded unto how this connected to Laura's aunt. Laura wanted me to be honest with you, and I hope she remembers that for our meeting tomorrow, the doctor said. What would you think if I told you Laura did not, in fact, have two past relationships before you? I felt confused. Laura wasn't inexperienced, but Mr. Archer, you were the first man she truly connected with. I leaned back, surprised and unsure of how to respond. To Dr. I don't know what to say, I stammered. She didn't seem inexperienced. She was ready just as I was. I don't get it. I felt lost. Because you had experienced, you led her through everything naturally, she explained gently. Somehow she felt that your experience was important.

1:09:26Laura had mentioned some past experiences, but that was as far as it went. I looked at the doctor trying to grasp what she was saying, but why would she think that? Why hasn't she ever told me? I asked. Would it have made a difference? The doctor shrugged. We might never know, she replied. A casual comment a lack of one could have influenced her thoughts. Laura expressed her feelings about her past and found some humor in it. It might have affected her confidence early on. She talked about it when we were discussing her feelings towards her other partner. The doctor fidgeted with her note, but the truth is, Laura spoke about it openly, she continued. She wasn't trying to hide anything. It wasn't a sensitive issue for her at this point. She paused, collecting her thoughts. Archer, I want to explain this in a way that fits with your experiences and training. She looked at me closely, trying to see how I would react. Taking a deep breath, she began. I believe one reason Laura looked for companionship elsewhere was to see a different side of her experience with you, Ellie, in your marriage. I found signs that she wanted her partner to be more aware and connected in their relationship,

1:10:28but that didn't seem to work out well. This change involved seemed to help her with some deeper feelings she had. What were those feelings? I asked Franny. The doctor was trying to stay professional about Laura's situation, but I didn't feel very distant from it. I can't say for sure she admitted. It might relate to how you guided her during her earlier experiences. Laura often racist certain expectations. This scene's connected to her relationship with her father, who I understand was a distant yet strong figure, someone she admired as a child. I'm still figuring out that part. I wanted to say more, but she raised her hand to stop me. It won't all come together once, Mr. Archer, she said. Some days we might make big discoveries, while other days we could feel stuck. And sometimes what seems like a clue might not lead any rattle. This isn't an exact science she added firmly, but couldn't she have talked about those feelings with me? Couldn't she have brought them up so we could work through things together? She absolutely could have. Dr. Jameson replied almost cheerfully, but only if she was aware of those feelings. Instead, she chose a different way to handle her situation and was dealing with other

1:11:31things at the same time. I see you're not fond of that word. Let's use feelings instead. That brings up something else I wanted to talk about. I wish we had more time, she said, glancing at the clock. I'm sorry I can't change my schedule to give us more time, but it's important to keep you updated. Mr. Archer, things are going to become more complicated. This will be tough for you because it's clear you haven't completely set aside your feelings about what has happened. I see that, as does Laura, and I need you to recognize it in yourself too, okay? I nodded. I knew I would need to manage my own feelings while considering the complexities of Laura's struggles. I was open to exploring this, but at the same time, I felt uneasy. I had looked into my own feelings and couldn't figure out what I had done to lead to Laura's choices, yet it seemed like I was the one making most of the adjustments. I had to focus on a list as well being. I would keep going on this path a bit longer for her sake. Remember, you're getting a simpler version of some complex issues. You want me to explain things in a way that's easy to understand, right? I'm trying to do that for you and for Laura who wants me to be clear

1:12:33and honest. I'm not saying you can't understand feelings, it's just that this is not your area of expertise. While I consider myself smart, I struggle with ideas like math or physics the way you understand them. You know these ideas, well, they are part of your everyday life. Your mind picks them up easily while I have to think harder. Do you understand? You could probably explain a simple term like vector quickly, right? I believe you could create a definition for someone in your field, but would it help the people you manage? Probably not, I said. Do you see what I'm trying to say? Some things may never be completely clear to you. I cite and gave Dr. Jameson a small smile. Okay, Doc, I said. You made a good point with that last part, you know. Young man, she replied with a calm smile. That's why you're here, isn't it? Three weeks later, honey, I think you should go for it. He said you and the doctor haven't made any progress in weeks, right? I felt a bit embarrassed. I hadn't meant to call her honey. It came out while I was trying to encourage Laura to do something she wasn't keen on. Somehow it had become my job to help her accept a treatment she

1:13:35didn't want. I guess the saying is grin and bear it. I did, but I didn't have to be happy about it. Laura looked up at me as we walked together in the park. She was biting her lip and looked worried. We were walking close but not touching, but it feels like an invasion, she said to her voice sounding a bit whiny. I didn't like the tone. For the first time in months, it took her wrist and turned her to face me. She blushed. I knew how she felt. Even this more contact meant a lot to her. I wanted to make sure I wasn't giving her the wrong idea. I looked around and spotted a picnic table under a tall tree nearby. I let go of her wrist and pointed to the shade. Listen, Laura, I said as calmly as I could. You and Dr. Jameson agreed that you haven't made any progress in understanding why this happened, right? She nodded. We reached the table. For a sat in the bench and I sat across from her. It was much cooler in the shade. Texas summers can be very hot. Don't you think we need to get things moving again? Shouldn't we agree to try whatever we can? Laura looked out at the park appearing where. The grass was wide and green with a few trees

1:14:37here and there and it was nearly empty on a wheat union. We had plenty of quiet around us. I know Laura said after a long pause, but it feels very uncomfortable to dive into my thoughts like that. I really don't think it will help. How can you be sure? I asked. Laura flinched at my tone and shook her head. I just don't think it would make a difference, she replied. Talking with her works fine for me. I don't mind that. I'm trying to be honest with her, Mark. I stayed quiet for a while. Laura was being stubborn, more than I expected. I've recently spoken with Dr. Jameson, who encouraged me to persuade Laura to try Hippo Furby. She believed there was something Laura was hiding from herself that needed to come out. The doctor thought that if Laura could face whatever was bothering her, it might help resolve her issues. The doctor believed there might be painful memories buried deep down. If we could broom those to light, it could help Laura deal with them. I wasn't as hopeful, but it made sense and I was curious about what she might be holding back. Laura, I said slowly and trying to be as supportive as possible through this counselling. It's really hard for me to do that if you won't explain why you were unfaithful.

1:15:39I took a deep breath to calm down. I need to understand why you invested so much of yourself in another relationship. That won't solve anything, Laura. Even if I could put my feelings aside, the step would hurt us later. And we can't move forward until you acknowledge the pain. If you don't take this step, it could lead to the end of our marriage. I paused, watching as Laura rested her arms on the picnic table and buried her face in them while she cried softly. I tried not to show how I felt though it was difficult. I almost told her that I wouldn't take this lightly, but I knew that would only add to her pain. I decided to keep my thoughts to myself, hoping I wouldn't have to use my only option. My daughter deserved more than to be treated like a troll. Eventually, Laura's crying turned into quiet sniffles and then completely stopped. She lifted her head, her eyes still glimmering with tears. The sun shining, birds are singing and all feels right in the world. Until the season changes and suddenly you lose your motivation to get out of bed. In fact, one in five people experience some form of depression no matter the season or time of year.

1:16:39At the American Psychiatric Association Foundation, our vision is to build a mentally healthy nation for all, because we want you to live your best life and be your best you all year round. Please visit mentallyhealthination.org to learn more. She nodded slowly. Okay, Mark, she said with a shaky voice. I will do it. Her troubled expression was clear. That's good, I replied, feeling a bit softer towards her this time. Will you come with me? She asked, almost begging. She breathed in deeply and waited for my response, since then still. I didn't think twice. Of course, I said with a kind smile. Where else would I be? I added. She smiled back and took my hand. We walked back to my SUV and I was surprised at how nice the moment fell. A week later, Laura's long meeting with Dr. James and took place three days ago on Friday afternoon. I was there just as I promised Laura, but I couldn't go in with them. The doctor explained that for hypnosis to work, the patient needed to focus on just one person. If I was there, Laura might look to me instead. So I sat in the waiting room flipping through magazines

1:17:43to distract myself. Suddenly, I realized I couldn't turn my head to the right at all. When Laura came out of the doctor's office, she looked shaken and pale. She didn't want to talk to me or the doctor. I fell frustrated. I had waited four hours with no updates. I knew they had more meetings over the weekend, but I still didn't know what they talked about. I needed dances. Good morning, Mr. Archer. Dr. Jameson said cheerfully as she sat behind her desk, relaxed with her hands resting on her lap. She seemed happy while Laura looked much less so. Morning, doctor. I said, trying to hide my discomfort. How are you today? Fine. Fine. She replied, glancing at Laura and giving you gentle smile. Are you okay with what we talked about over the weekend, Laura? Laura nodded, but it didn't seem genuine. She stayed quiet and appeared distant since our earlier conversation. Dr. Jameson turned her attention to me, her expression shifting to serious. Mr. Archer, she started slowly. How much does someone with an engineer indegree really know about the subconscious mind? I shrugged. I read a lot this weekend about

1:18:44hypnosis and the subconscious, like the differences between the conscious and subconscious. Right brain, left brain, reasoning versus feeling, stuff like that. I know the subconscious holds our imagination and feelings along with memories, right? The doctor seemed to hold back a look of concern. It's seen when you found knowledge made her cautious. My research had given me some idea of where our talk was going. Yes, she said after a moment. That's a good summary of some important points. She reminded me of her knowledge and skill. I smiled slightly, recognizing a familiar way of negotiating in business. If you didn't find it in your research, hidden it is a method that helped a therapist reach the subconscious, Dr. Jameson explained. It's a way to help Laura relax deeply, allowing us to explore her experiences and how she sees those moments. Today we want to concentrate on Laura's memories, she continued. In particular, we will look at her thoughts about her father's long relationship with his sister-in-law. The atmosphere shifted as Laura seemed to hold her breath. Okay, I replied, and sure of how to think about this. You know that Laura was born when her mother was older, making her brother feel

1:19:45like he is from another time, right? I nodded. For all practical reasons, Laura can be seen as an only child. I paused, considering this. It made sense, but didn't explain Laura's actions. I nodded again. Can you accept that Laura loved her father and that her mother had difficulty including her in her life? I had grown used to our formal titles, but this felt more personal. I chose to ignore the change in tone. Yes, I said. I noticed some distance in Laura's mother when I first met them. Even when she looked at me, it felt like I only had her attention part of the time. Dr. Jameson nodded. Anything else? She asked, well, I thought her father was similar, but while her mother was reserved, he seemed more controlling. I felt he liked her authority over his family and everything around him. I remembered a few things there were times. I sensed a closeness between him and Ruth looking back. There were hints they shared something deeper than just being friends though it was subtle. I gathered more thoughts interestingly. I don't remember Laura's mother ever objecting to Ruth being close to her father. He'd expect that her relationship lasting this long would be clear, but she showed no signs of discomfort, at least from what I saw.

1:20:48I indicated to the doctor that I was done recalling. That's right, the doctor said simply, but it's more complicated. As far as Laura recalls, her un-ruth took on many motherly roles while her mother focused on her poetry and social activities. Until this past weekend, Laura had managed to hide a worrying vote that she might actually be Aunt Ruth's daughter, a concern that troubled her deeply when Ruth passed away. I took a moment to think about how hard it must be for Laura. Can we find out more? I asked mostly to myself. Dr. Jameson nodded. Part of Laura's care will involve a DNA test for answers. Her parents are unsure about this. Laura talked to them on Saturday, but it seems their hesitation is more about pride than anything else. I believe they will come around and soon we will have some answers. Laura will likely feel more at ease about her family. I agreed with a nod. Sounds like a good plan, I said lightly. It is Dr. Jameson responded. But it may get a bit tricky from here, she warned. Laura's father and aunt acted as if a young girl wouldn't grasp certain truths, like seeing her father leaving Ruth's room in a

1:21:49way that was not appropriate. Though Laura remembered some things from her childhood, she didn't understand everything until she was older and began to notice signs of trouble. It seemed her father and aunt didn't try very hard to hide what was happening. The doctor looked at me waiting for my thoughts. So Mark, based on everything you've read about psychology, what do you think Laura's minded with those confusing feelings? I thought for a moment unsure of what she meant. Okay, Laura wasn't sure about her family situation, I suggested. Dr. Jameson nodded. Laura was listening quietly. I turned to her more directly. It was worse than that, she shared. Though in many nights in my teenage years, when I cried myself to sleep because I felt lost. Well, soon we will know more, and then you can face those feelings right? I asked gently. Laura paused and nodded. I think so. Yes, she replied softly. Dude, I said confidently. One issue was being addressed. Dude, myered your father, even if he knew he was involved in something wrong. Laura nodded. I thought for a bit. He was your father. You loved him, but he was doing something upsetting. I gestured to make my point clear.

1:22:54You loved him, but struggled with his actions. Am I understanding this right? I asked. Laura nodded. I noticed Dr. Jameson nodding as well. I'm not sure what to do next. I said to the doctor. How does this connect to how Laura feels or acts now? Dr. Jameson smiled kindly. Mark, did you read about Professor Westermark and the idea of imprinting? I hesitated trying to remember. Isn't it about young animals forming bonds? Close enough. Some early studies looked at birds. One researcher even flew with geese to help them learn immigration patterns. But it's about humans, too. UBB will quickly recognize you as her father and Laura's her mother, almost right after she's born. This connection grows as she develops. It happens mostly without us realizing, guided by our subconscious mind. This part of the mind links us to our base instincts. Are you following me so far? I nodded. Great. The subconscious mind is where we keep what we've learned. Sometimes what we learn can come into conflict with what we later see as right or wrong. When these conflicts arise,

1:23:56they can cause mental confusion that may need help from our conscious thoughts. This is why professionals like me are here and why hippo therapy can be useful. When a person is calm and focused, I can communicate directly with the subconscious. Dr. Jameson seems pleased with her explanation, expressing her ideas clearly. Laura cares for you deeply, Mark. It may be hard for you to accept that right now, but she understands. It's important for you to know that Chiseziu is a strong and influential person. That's not an exaggeration based on what I've learned about you the past few weeks. Can you see that, Mark? I felt a slight frown appear on my face. I had moved from being an engineer to a businessman, which requires some assertiveness, but I tried not to carry work stress home. I get it intellectually. I told the doctor, looking at Laura, but I'm not sure how it helps us with our issues. I have never treated Laura or a less of the same way a handle business matters. I made sure to keep those worlds separate. That doesn't stop her from seeing you as such, Mark, she said. She can't help but notice those traits in you, especially since your company is often talked about in the local business community.

1:24:58Laura was proud of that community until recently. I nodded, agreeing with her point. All right, Mark, this is with the change course. Dr. Janssen took a deep breath. I noticed Laura becoming Ted's beside me. Mark, remember that logic, as we understand it, doesn't exist in the subconscious mind. Okay. I shrugged. She was the expert. Let's just say it plainly, she continued. In house subconscious mind, Laura sees her position in the community as equal to or even greater than what her heart working father had when she was young. The doctor looked at me closely while Laura watched me with concern. Her fingers twisted together from her anxiety. I paused for a moment to think. I don't like where my thoughts were leading. I cleared my throat. Laura sees me or used to see me as filling her father's role. I asked carefully. The doctor shook her head strongly. No, she said firmly. It's nothing like that. Then could someone explain it to me? I asked feeling impatient. Laura so used a strong, controlling man like her father, the doctor said slowly. But deep down, she also realized that her father had been unfaithful.

1:26:02To her, that seemed normal. I took a moment to think about this. I looked at Laura. He thought I would be unfaithful. I asked, shocked. My temper was rising. What made you think that? No, if that's not the case, Mark, Dr. Janssen said quickly. I waited half-facing Laura and half-facing the doctor. You see, on an unconscious level, Laura was affected by what she saw. She didn't think about it directly, but her instinct suggested that you might be unfaithful. I was speechless. My mind was spinning. Dr. Janssen looked her lips. Laura believed that successful and powerful men were often unfaithful. If you had been, she likely would have turned a blind eye. If she had seen anything and could not ignore it, she would have forgiven you quickly, despite what she might have said. The doctor explained. I frowned. But he weren't acting unfaithfully. Mark, the doctor, pointed out. Even Laura couldn't misinterpret your late meetings or work dinners as anything other than what they were. I stared at her trying to process this. So instead, she found comfort elsewhere, I said with a bitter laugh. Yes, Dr. Janssen replied firmly. I felt a wave of

1:27:07disbelief wash over me. The doctor continued to speak while the feeling of cold anger built inside me and I struggled to stay calm. Her mind thought successful families were involved in infidelity. When you didn't, I suddenly stood up without realizing it. This is ridiculous. I said carefully. This is just an excuse to let my wife off the hook for breaking our marriage, not to mention hurting me and our daughter. I turned and left the room before Dr. Janssen, a lawyer could react to my sudden exit. I didn't stop until I was safely inside my large SUV. Laura's story. I stand in front of my mirror looking at myself. I peer the same as I always have. I'm still five or five inches tall with shoulder-length brown hair and green eyes. My skin is still smooth, even though I will be 30 this fall. The small freckles on my nose are still there. I think about my body and the changes that come with time. Mark has always he loved me for who I am. These days, though, are not sure who I am. I look into my eyes in the mirror and try to understand, but they reveal nothing. I can't tell Mark how much I hurt because of the pain I caused him. The shame of my actions weighs heavily on me and I can't escape it. If I could explain

1:28:11to my husband, my love how I really feel I would. But he won't listen to me. I'm scared I have heard him too much. We haven't talked much since that day, Mark left the doctor's office, just a few words about things to do for Alyssa. I don't know what to say to him anyway. Dr. Janssen suggests I let my guilt go, but I don't know how. I feel guilty, guilty about my choices. The memories of what I said to him the last night I was with someone else on me all the time. I can't sleep without hearing those terrible words again. I don't deserve a man like Mark. He is right to keep his distance. I can't explain how those lawnmonds feel so strange to me, it was like walking on soft pillars. The ground didn't feel stable in my mind. I felt like I was walking along a sharp edge and I worried I might fall that's how I viewed my life. How do I describe the confusion that filled my mind for so long? I struggled to think clearly when Mark spoke to me, his words were just suns lost in my chaos I wanted to hear him, but I couldn't it's hard to remember my actions. I tried to understand them to move forward, but everything from this days feels like it happened to someone else even though I was there watching myself Dr. Jameson listens when I share these feelings she says she understands but I can see that she

1:29:11can't truly relate sometimes it feels like I might burst apart inside I don't know how this will end a fear that one day it might disappear and only then will I find peace it has been three months since Mark and I spoke with Dr. Jameson in her office. I feel better now. I'm no longer afraid when Dr. Jameson wants to help me relax. She can do it quickly now. I can focus much better and she's able to ask me anything. I'm not embarrassed about what she might bring up anymore. She has helped uncover many things and afterward she encourages me to talk about what I've thought about during our sessions. Sometimes just sharing my experiences outside of the calm feeling makes the bird and feel light. I'm not sure how that works but Dr. Jameson says it's my mind's way of processing and resolving things. She brings these matters up so I can face them and set them aside like clothes I no longer need. Setting them aside feels good. I feel renew but the pain returns when I think of my little girl and my husband. Ticks more steps Dr. Jameson tells me. Big problems take time to solve. Sometimes Dr. Jameson helps me look at things in a new way. She encouraged my parents to visit from Albany for a week. It took all my strength to tell my

1:30:15father how his actions helped me when I saw him with that roof. I shared my feelings and asked if he really understood how wrong it was. My anger came out and I made him cry which was something I had never seen before. I spoke to my mother too. I asked her why she allowed it. Didn't she see how painful it was for me? I hadn't realized how my parents had aged until I saw them crying in front of me. Overwhelmed, I knocked between their chairs and hugged them. I just wanted them to love me and each other. We all cried together and then Dr. Jameson talked with us. We shared our feelings until we retired. Mom explained how early on she realized she didn't want closeness, feeling uncomfortable with it. She told me that the moment I was born was one of the few times she felt connected to dad. She expressed regret about their situation but shared how hard it had been for her. She suggested dad have a relationship with her sister, a lonely widow. It seemed like a good idea but she admitted it was difficult to keep it from me. She was sorry I had found out. Dad apologized too. He knocked before me and asked for my forgiveness. I told him I forgave him and I really meant it. It felt like a wall between us had come down. Dr. Jameson spent

1:31:19hours each day with my parents while they were there. When they left to go home, they looked a lot happier than I had seen them in years. Mom held on to dad like they were newlyweds. I feel stronger now. It has almost been six months since stop to Jameson first used hypnosis with me. I see things more clearly now and understand many actions and words that were not right. I wonder why I ever let friends convince me to go out drinking. It seems hard to understand now. That was just the start, I think. Popped to Jameson gave me a list of books to read and they opened my eyes. The effects of alcohol can be serious, making it hard to think clearly and lowering our ability to make good choices. It makes the body react strongly to get rid of harmful substances and changes how it works. Dr. Jameson has helped me see that I was drinking a lot to avoid my feelings. It didn't help. It only made me more vulnerable to Brian. I realized that he viewed women as challenges and didn't care about their feelings. I was aware that my choices were not the best and I wished I had made different ones. Dr. Jameson and I think I was lowering my own worth to feel equal to my family. They have meant a lot to me for so long. Deep down,

1:32:22I thought they showed my best self, so I tried to be like them. But it wasn't working. I learned more about who I am through my husband and daughter. It has been hard to break free from those old thoughts, but I feel like I am finally moving in the right direction. We found out that I felt uneasy about a list of being part of Mark's life, which didn't make much sense. Dr. Jameson and another expert said that these feelings might have started after Alissa was born and could be linked to the challenges of new motherhood. While I did struggle with tiredness and mood swings, I am thankful that I never faced any serious mental health problems during that time. Even though I wanted to be a good mother, I found feeding Alissa painful. This led Mark to take on more responsibilities with her. He stepped in easily for feedings and comforting on the tough nights. I understand now how special it was, especially when I hear other women wish their partners were more involved during those early days. Dr. Jameson noted that my hormones likely influenced my feelings. At one point, it was hard for me to connect with Mark. When we finally began to reconnect, I felt like I was still holding back. Then I allowed Brian into my life, which made everything more complicated.

1:33:25Sometimes I feel frustrated with myself. Looking back on how I acted with Brian when I was drinking doesn't make sense to me anymore. It's been eight and a half months since my husband and I first met with Dr. Jameson for my relaxation therapy session. She often says it's easy for hypnosis to be misused, but I appreciate her help with my challenges. She has taught me self hypnosis techniques and how to notice when something is bothering me, which is both easy and a bit annoying for not realizing it sooner. The shame I feel for my past choices can be overwhelming. My family, especially my parents and aunt Ruth, raised me to behave in a way that wouldn't bring me embarrassment. Through our talks, Dr. Jameson and I discovered that I acted in harmful ways to get a reaction from Mark, hoping he would step in. We still don't fully understand why I chose that route to escape the troubles I had fallen into. Dr. Jameson reminds me that our minds work differently than we think, which can be frustrating. However, the therapy has helped me become more aware of myself and I'm dedicated to avoiding my past mistakes. I now have the chance to share my experiences with others. Recently, I began volunteering at a support hotline and I hope that

1:34:26some friends from my past, like Shirley, will reach out for help with their issues. I've offered to take her to an alcoholics anonymous meeting and assist her in finding a mentor. She cried, feeling thankful to find someone who cares. I felt warm inside, knowing I could help her. I'm committed to supporting her through this journey. As for me, I tried a sip of wine recently, but it didn't sit well. Christmas has come and gone almost a year since I first learned about a diagnosis. I see a list of two or three times a week. Mark lets me visit anytime. All I have to do is call him. It's not quite the same as living with her and my husband, but it's better than nothing. She will be five in a few months and it feels like she's growing up so fast while I'm not there. Dr. Jameson and I don't have much to talk about during my visit anymore. Now I feel excited about life. I truly feel good about myself. I know I've made many mistakes, but I feel like I'm not the same person anymore. I'm no longer the woman who pushed my husband away. Still, I feel restless. It's been a long time since I felt close to him. I missed that connection

1:35:26and I longed to be reunited with him and my child. I talked to Dr. Jameson about my feelings. I shared my worries that Mark might not love me anymore. She asked why I thought that, and I shared my thoughts about his sometimes cold behaviour and how he seemed to keep his distance. She took a moment to respond. We have our own little understanding, but I feel closer to her than I ever did with my own mother. However, even that relationship has changed. My mom called recently, sounding happy. She and Dad were planning a trip to Jamaica to reconnect. I was surprised, but it seemed that Dr. Jameson's treatment, along with some counseling back home, had helped my mom change for the better. We cried, but it felt good. Anyway, I told Dr. Jameson I wanted to make amends with my husband, but I wasn't sure how. After listening, she pointed out that Mark had not finalised the divorce. I realised he might be hesitating because of how it might look. Dr. Jameson asked if I had ever paid for the therapy sessions, and it hit me that Mark could have ended it at any time. She encouraged me to think about how Mark sections my show is feelings suggest and they might not mean he wants to shut me out completely.

1:36:27I talked about my guilt, feeling I hadn't been fair to both Mark and Alyssa. She acknowledged this, and we shared a light moment about it. I appreciate Dr. Jameson for her calm nature. She explained that Mark might feel more hurt by the sense of vitriol and by anything physical in our relationship. I didn't mean to cause this pain. If I had better controlled my actions, things might have been different. I have a hard time thinking about the choices I've made in the past. Even with everything that has happened, I understand that my past does not change my wish to say I'm sorry and get better. I shared this with Dr. Jameson. She suggested that Mark might benefit from coming to canceling with me. She thought if he saw me working on myself, he might want to help our marriage instead of leaving. I remembered the last time I tried to talk to him, and I realized he didn't reply. When I thought about how much time had passed since that moment, I saw that it had been months. Dr. Jameson said that life can change quickly, and Mark might be waiting for a sign that I want to fix our relationship. After our meeting, I left her office. This made me think about our situation. I noticed small signs that showed Mark was completely ignoring me. I even

1:37:30saw him watching me after I dropped off Alyssa. I wondered if I was reading too much into it, but I was curious about what it meant. I think I will try to contact him tonight. He usually comes home around 6 p.m. to take care of Alyssa. After dinner, they spend time together, and he often feels relaxed. I hope he might think about joining me for some therapy sessions just to see how I am improving. I want my husband back. I miss being his partner and want to provide the garrering environment my daughter needs. I'm going to fight to win him back. I want him to see that I will always be his partner. I have a grandson, Carl said. I looked at him over my large coffee cup. Sometimes I felt like I was always drinking coffee at the office, where they always had a pot ready. Lately, I had to switch to Dika from the afternoon, or I would go home feeling anxious and restless. Carl preferred tea. I think I capped him away from my stressful situations. Yeah, I know I replied. Two of them. I've met them a few times. I had. Carl often brought his wife and kids to family, picnics, and dinners the firm held. I was joking

1:38:32when I said I'd met them just twice. I had watched his three granddaughters and two grandsons grow up from babies to young children. Carl shook his head. No, I have three grandsons. I tilted my head to the side. This was news to me. I didn't say anything. Carl had become a close friend over the past year and a half. He had helped me find out about my wife's unfaithfulness and discretely dismiss the team that had worked with him. Now, only he and Maggie, my secretary, knew all the details. My daughter, Janet's older son, Sain, has been in a treatment facility for years. Carl said softly. He's 15 now. I didn't know, Carl, I said gently. I'm really sorry. I should have paid more attention. I felt awful. He waived it off lightly. Not a problem, he replied. He was already getting help in Colorado when I started here, and sadly, he isn't part of our everyday lives anymore, though we visit when we can. I nodded, still feeling uneasy. It seemed like I had let him down in some way. Sain's quite tall for his age, already six feet, Carl continued. His weight can really change. Sometimes he's up to 250 pounds. Then he might forget to eat and drop down to 170.

1:39:39Carl shifted in his seat, and I could hear the leather creek. Sain often lives in his own mind. He hears voices that trouble him and can cause problems. Carl stayed at the swirling drink in his mug, his hand moving in circles. He's physically strong, but mentally he struggles and can be hard to handle. Some days he's a sweet, gentle soul. Other days, when he feels anxious, he can be challenging to manage. My daughter found it difficult. He's been bigger than her since he was 11, and we had to experience the tough decision to have him stay in a treatment centre. Carl stirred his coffee, even though it didn't need it. Looking deep in thought. We hope the team can help say manage his difficulties so he can live independently one day, but we can't be sure. He's learned to tell the difference between the voices in his head and real people. We have a lot of hope for him since he's responded well to some treatments. He coughed quietly and looked over at me. Have you seen the movie A Beautiful Mind Boss? He asked. I nodded. Well, he said, the doctor say that is my grandson's story. If you want to understand what saying is going through, that's the movie to watch. I nodded again,

1:40:42my mind wandering to the emotional moments in that film. I shook my head slightly. I'm really sorry, Carl, I said, and sure what else to say. I wish I had known, I added. He shook his head in response. There's nothing you could have done, he said simply. I'm not someone who talks about these things lightly. For the first time in a while, he turned his chair to face me directly. Boss, I'm not ashamed of my grandson, even if I don't share much outside my family. My wife and I don't discuss him because it brings up a lot of sadness that we need to keep and check to get through the day. Do you understand? I did, and I could see the deep feelings he had for his grandson. He looked away for a moment. What I wanted to say is, it's not saying it's fault. He didn't choose to face these challenges. He didn't want his mind to go in a way that makes it hard for us to reach him or help him. Carl Clea destroyed a few times and took a long drink of coffee before he continued. This moment gave me a chance to think as well. Boss, he said carefully, you've let me see more of your life than I ever thought. You've trusted me to manage my part of the company my way, and I'm grateful for that. I respect you more than anyone I've ever worked for, and I believe

1:41:46you respect me too. I nodded. I really did. The thing is, Boss, he continued. I just can't stand by. I raised my hand to interrupt him. It's not Laura's fault either. I asked softly. He nodded, watching me closely to see how I would react. I sighed. Carl had brought up something I'd suspected for a while. Yeah, Carl, you're right, I finally said. I still have a problem. No, more like a question about why Laura didn't share what was troubling her. But I've read a lot and understand more now. I bit my cheek a little. I hear you, Carl. She didn't mean for her mind to get so tangled. Some of what she did was hard to understand. I just, I made a letting go gesture. Carl nodded, showing he understood. But Mark, he said gently. Can you let that go? Then he see deep down that it should have been clear-headed. She wouldn't have acted the way she did. If she'd been the lawyer you marry, the lawyer that I know, instead of someone overwhelmed by feeling she couldn't grasp, she wouldn't have been unfaithful. You know that. I know you do. He watched me struggle with my thoughts for a moment. I wanted to agree, but memories of that last night

1:42:51kept coming back. Strangely, the emotional struggle Laura faced in Las Vegas had also lifted the fog she'd been in for so long. I learned that much from hearing Dr. Jameson. Boss, Carl said, carefully, if Laura had a serious health issue and was going through treatment, and felt weak and unwell, would you blame her for having a hard time with her health? Could you do that? I sat still for a long time. I had thought about this before, but Carl's words hit me hard. He was asking me to examine my beliefs and consider who I really was inside. Did I want my pride and discomfort with the thought of Laura was someone else to shape who I was? Either my thoughts were clear on my face, or Carl was more aware than I had realized. Mark, he said softly, if you were meeting a young divorced woman, let's say, I don't know. Laura, and you were thinking about starting a meaningful relationship with her, would you ask her? Would you even care about her past relationships? Would you? He questioned. I didn't think so. He concluded seeing my answer reflected in my expression. In truth, her past would be none of my business. It would be part of her private life. It was something a man marrying a divorced woman would accept. He would accept

1:43:55her past easily and wouldn't feel bad about it. He would feel no shame if he was confident in himself. She would accept his past too, knowing he was with her now and not with those he had been with before. Suddenly, I thought of some gatherings I'd gone to with a girlfriend before I met Laura. I didn't think about those times often. I hadn't remembered them in years. But some choices I made back then were not ones I was proud of. Laura had lived with these parts of my life even though she had never known them. They were a part of who I was. I had learned one not to do what to avoid and who I didn't want to become. Carl, I asked settling back into my comfortable chair. His eyebrows raised in question. I know you have a degree in criminology, Carl. Did you also study psychology? I asked for the small smile. He smiled and shook his head. Nope, he said simply. But I was a police officer for 17 years boss. You see all kinds of situations in that job. His expression turned serious. My grandson taught me a lot too, boss. I regret that I didn't start that journey with as good a mindset as I have now. I raised my hand to stop him.

1:44:59Don't be hard on yourself for that. Carl, I said kindly. I guess we all learn as we go through life. And I've learned something today, my friend. Thank you, I said sincerely. No, he said with the grin. You were heading down that path anyway. I just help you move a bit further along, that's all. Just then the phone rang, interrupting what I was going to say. It was Maggie on the intercom. Yes, Maggie, I said pressing the button for the speaker. Mark, Laura, is in the phone, she said softly. I paused for a moment. Please put her through, I said after a while. I turned to apologize to Carl for taking the call, but he was already stepping through the side door to his office, giving me a thumbs up before he disappeared. Doctor, I said quietly. I've managed to deal with almost everything about this situation, but I still struggled to understand why my wife couldn't have talked to me about what was troubling her from the very beginning. I might not have understood everything right away, but she could have at least mentioned something. The doctor looked at me thoughtfully for a moment. I knew she remembered that I had left more than a year ago, after something she set upset me. I'm not going anywhere. I told her with a right smile.

1:46:01Her eyes widen briefly. She hadn't expected me to understand her feelings. She returned my smile. She couldn't have expressed those feelings clearly even to herself. Mark, the doctor said. And that's assuming she even noticed when those feelings began to affect her, she added. Laura struggled with her feelings back then. I have what I need now, Laura said confidently. I'll talk to you about what bothers me when I need to. I was surprised by her words. I hope it doesn't come to that. I replied quietly. The two women laughed, noticing the blush on my face. Hearing Laura laugh cheerfully again was nice. It had been a long time since I had heard it. She took my hand gently, holding it with both of hers. We were sitting close, our arms touching. I felt that ease with the closest. With Carl's help, I had moved past some challenges and there was no turning back. As Laura mentioned, Mark, she is now ready to handle you in any concerns that come up. While there's no guarantee she is much better prepared now, it has taken time for Laura to reach this point. We still have some things to work through,

1:47:01but she has tackled her main issues. There may be things you need to work on together, but Laura and I believe she won't face a lot of problems at once. I what about you, Mark? The doctor inquired. I took a deep breath. Dr. Jameson, with a good friend support I've dealt with most of my issues. I smiled at the doctor, feeling more at ease than I had a few months ago. My friend shared the story of his grandson who faces similar challenges as in the movie A Beautiful Mind. Hearing what Carl's family dealt with helped me see my own feelings from a different angle. The doctor nodded, showing he understood. I had to rethink a lot of things. I went on and I managed to let go of the anger I had been holding on to. I paused for a moment. I won't say I'm completely better, but it's not something I focus on all the time anymore. I turned to Laura. There will be times when I might fill down and I could say things that hurt you, Laura, but I'm working on getting better and I promise to keep trying, okay? Her eyes were full of tears. She nodded and gently squeezed my hand. Honey, I said, part of me wants to say there's no reason for what happened and that I shouldn't let you back into my heart, but I won't give in to that feeling.

1:48:05I looked at my wife as she listened. The last time we were in Dr. Jameson's office, she had still been healing and seemed emotional. She rarely held my gaze back then. Now she looked like the woman I married may be even a bit stronger. Sometimes a connection is stronger than what it was built from. I think if I can tell you that I can forgive what you did, but at the same time, understand that I can't just forget it, then I can move forward with a little less struggle. I paused, hoping someone would respond, but there was silence. I just don't think we can act like this never happened, Laura. There's been too much hurt for that to be possible. I can get past it, but I want to use these tough times as lessons to, Mark, Laura said softer. I can't forget them, but if I can see them as reminders of what I don't want to go back to, they will help me. Do you understand? I nodded to show I did. Is there anything else, Mark? Dr. Jameson asked quietly. I took a deep breath, trying to relax my shoulders before settling back in my seat. I think some people will see me as weak. Some one of those will look done on. I admitted slowly. Talking about my feelings like this was new to me, especially in front of someone I didn't

1:49:07know well. I will have to deal with those kinds of people in ways they will understand. Most of them won't be people whose opinions I care about, but I'll still have to manage it. Dr. Jameson shook her head gently. I don't think that's true, Mark, she said firmly. I don't see any weakness in my work. Those who are weak accept mistreatment without standing up for themselves. She glanced at Laura, sharing a small smile before turning back to me. Laura and I have talked about this. She continued, and if anyone has taken strong steps to end something unacceptable, it's you. She paused, raising her hands lightly, not finished with her thoughts. I've mentioned this before, Mark, but there's a part of you that you don't show often, especially not to Laura, as expect your child. You can be very determined and strong when someone has wronged you and Laura now understands that deeply. If nothing else, she knows she will not accept behaviour like what she showed back then. She shivered slightly. Oh, and I doubt many people will think less of you she added. They'll notice your kindness and the love between you to instead of focusing on what brought you here. She looked at me with a smile. But if you need to

1:50:08stand up to anyone disrespectful, go ahead, she encouraged. I'll be here for you while you deal with things honey, Laura said gently, and we'll walk home together, alright. I was struggling to buckle the car seat into the truck. It wasn't easy. Trucks aren't built with small kids in mind, but I finally managed to get it done. Alyssa had been waiting for a while, testing her patience. As soon as I finished, she jumped into the car seat. Her daddy, she said, wanting me to fasten her lap belt and shoulder straps. She was off or on, I teased. For a moment, my five-year-old overthought about it. She was getting older, but she still enjoyed the tickle game that followed taking her shoes off. She was getting too big for the car seat, but I wanted to make sure she was safe while I drove. On, she finally decided. Let's go now, daddy, jeerge. I smiled back at her. I'm hurrying as fast as I can, honey, I replied. I closed her door, ran around the front so she could see I was moving quickly and climbed into the driver's seat. A few minutes later, we were on the open road heading out west of the city. We were off to visit Alyssa's uncle Dan, and we couldn't wait

1:51:12to get there. Laura had been staying with her brother for over a year while we worked on our relationship. Today, Alyssa and I were bringing her mom home where she belonged. This wasn't the end of her journey. Laura and I still needed to work through our trust issues. I watched everything she did for a long time. Sometimes I think she saw the uncertainty in my eyes. She always answered my questions, even if she felt a bit annoyed by it. Maybe she believed it was necessary. A while ago, she called me in distress, explaining she was stuck in traffic and wouldn't make a home's plan. I helped her calm down so she could focus on driving safely. I noticed a big traffic jam on the highway, so I suggested she take the next exit and gave her directions to avoid it. Her worries made me less anxious. I've moved past a lot of my debts now, but we both remember why we are cautious about unexpected delays. I also make sure to inform her when I am running late. We do not discuss it anymore. Now I sit quietly in our living room, with only the moonlight shining gently through the window. I enjoy this time of night. There are no loud noises outside,

1:52:12just to come stillness surrounding me. In my arms is my youngest daughter. Marises only four months old, a small, lively bundle of joy. I often wake up for the early morning feedings, appreciating the quiet moments of my baby. She is asleep now, full in content. She means a world to me. There is nothing quite like holding a sleeping baby in my arms to remind me of the goodness in life. I felt the same way with my son. Chris was born a year after Laura and I got back together after fixing our troubled relationship. He is a lively three year old now, past the tough times of being a toddler. Alice is almost 10 and wise beyond her years. I can already see the young woman she is becoming, and it makes me wish time would slow down. She is leaving childhood behind, but she will always be my little girl. She helps take care of Chris and Marisa and loves them very much. She was so happy the first time Laura let her whole baby Marisa. I love all three of them deeply. Sometimes it feels overwhelming. I didn't realize until Chris was born that a father's love is boundless. It grows to include all of my children and they each have all my love. There you are,

1:53:14I hear Laura say softly. No more words are needed. She finds me sitting in the shadows, my eyes filled with and shed tears. I pass our little girl to Laura, but it is just for a moment. Laura sits on my lap, resting against me as she holds our baby. She gently wights away a tear from my cheek. In the darkness my wife and I sit to kill the holding our youngest child born from a love we almost lost. And that is the end. Thank you for listening and I will see you in the next one.