Caregiver's Journey: Loving Through Dementia

0:00Janet Parmaly and her husband Mike built a life together in East Haven after marrying in their 50s, blending their five kids from previous. Marriages in dreaming up a retirement bucket list. But in 2022, Mike got hit with frontal temporal dementia, the behavioral kind as progressive and terminal. Fresh off retiring from nursing, Janet jumped in full time as his caregiver, handling everything at home solo. Symptoms crept up years before the diagnosis. Mike stayed physically healthy, but started quirky behaviors like hiding every pair of shoes around the house. Things got tougher with eating, bathroom needs, and sleepless nights. So he went to a day center. By fall 2025, Janet faced a hard call to move him to a full-time memory care facility in an hour away. That shift brought waves of grief, what experts call ambiguous loss. Mike still here physically, but not the same man she married. Her givers of spouses feel a deepest, like researcher Chetna Mahotra explains, since

1:00it's your partner fading right in front of you. Janet wraps her head around the both and thinking, he's gone yet not, and she pushes through tears after visits where he rarely speaks. Her rock solid support circle keeps her going. Kids, siblings, even Mike's first wife who steps in, plus close friend Joyce Rossi who just shows up. Without asking. Janet hit support groups too, learning the key lesson, don't wait to be told what to do, just be there to listen, vent, or cry with. Now Mike settled in the facility with top-notch care, and Janet drives over daily for walks and ball games, tackling paperwork like Medicaid out of. Pocket. She forgives herself for not going it alone to the end, holding on to their love that no disease can touch. This has been Hartford News Today, powered by AI, I'm Corey, with the story.