Bristling With Antagonism

0:01Morning, Shan. Good morning, yeah. Morning. Look every people, anywhere, no language, no God, no souls, no families be very bad. It is marsh the second hope everyone is well for opening doors for them. You cannot hope to create peace and harmony in the world until you have found peace and harmony within. You have to start with yourself. You have to start in a small way and let it grow and expand. The multi oak tree has its beginnings in a tiny oak pond and yet within that tiny oak pond it contains everything. You contain the piece of the world within you so why not let it grow and expand within until it no longer can be contained and bursts forth bringing peace and harmony into the world. It starts within you so be consciously aware of the vitally important parts which you have to play to help bring peace and harmony

1:07into the world. Never stand back and blame anyone else for the state of the world but get into action and do something about it yourself. Now be at perfect peace as you do my will and walk in my ways glorified me. We're talking about harmony yes. There's quite a bit of harmony and there's harmony into the world. It's a nice road isn't it? Harmony. It's a musical word isn't it? Harmony is something pleasant. It's when things are

2:08things are good and that piece that we can find peace and harmony I couldn't find any when I wasn't doing the right thing that made me very conflicted inside so there was conflict inside me so I couldn't radiate out any harmony when I was thinking because it was all I was so conflicted with not doing the right thing with harming people but with my alcoholic head saying you're okay you know you know you deserve a drink because everyone's done this to you blaming everyone else. Well it was like a ticket drink to find some harmony you know that's the idea isn't it? To quiet and down there. I've got all this anxiety I can't cope you know it's a mess it's

3:11just a lot of the noise quite the noise you know a two-junk and always well with the world and you know that works so well until it makes everything worse and actually then you start thinking well actually all my problems have been because of the drink and what I've said and what I've done and actually I've made things ten times worse. The harmony is creating the conflict so it can't do that anymore so you know the steps are a way of clearing that wreckage you know what we should have done in the first place was you know trying to clear what was coming at us but we didn't have the tools I didn't know how to set boundaries so I didn't know how to find my voice you know I was a people pleaser you know I had terrible defects that weren't working

4:14too well for me that I didn't really understand but I do know I have compassion for that girl that didn't understand you know I didn't know any any different but the thing is that I do now and I know that I can use tools to do not get rid of and go for a straight shoot and fear but live with them yeah be aware and not be overwhelmed and know that I'm not in control of a lot of things you know as soon as I get a serenity cry I don't have to worry about the things I can't change I can't change them don't worry about them but the things that I can change myself right now I can get into summation that was so practical immediately on day one I thought so I had to control everything it was so free and I never said that to me don't I have to

5:15worry about everything I can't control or change so you know it was pretty quick to change you know with certain things and then that whole conflict started turning more harmonious as I did my steps did my men's you know changed my ways made living your men's and eventually people had confidence that I was going to stay sober this time and I went to it so that conflict went here it's pretty amazing you can't quite imagine that you know I've I've got my children phoning the app saying you know what are you you know when when you're going to answer us about Mother's Day where are we going I'm booking it okay lovely you know that that's

6:23I had a very you know sort of interesting card for the first few years with that you're not drinking we hope that you continue to stay sober you know and to compare to now yeah well done keep going yeah because they were hurt you know I get that I get that I have changed from being a loving mother into an alcoholic that was very selfish and lying and dishonest and deceitful and near death at points so I can't blame at all for that that the main process has brought harmony back the answer really amazing you get an acorn you get an uptie out of an acorn I mean it's like you know other seeds you get you know like some strawberries or potatoes or wheat or whatever

7:26but a fucking old pig you know it's really mental something so huge something so tiny all the chords in there and that you know that seed of recovery you can plant that and then what happens you know you feed it with the right stuff and it will grow it can stay dormant for a long time and then suddenly germinate if it gets to like the difference nice where are we in the book you know is that two um it's worth to fit of the seven so

8:28yeah it's been repeated improving among us upon the simple corn store and a wonderful effort to spiritual structure tell me about CFNH2 that was great news to us for we had a student we could not make use of spiritual principles unless we accepted many things on faith which seemed difficult to believe when people presented us with spiritual approaches how frequently did we all say I wish that hard what that man has I'm sure it would work if I could only believe as he believes I cannot accept to truly true the many articles of faith which are so plain to him so it was comforting to learn that we could commence at a simpler level besides assuming inability to accept much on faith we often found ourselves handicapped by an obstinacy, sensitivity and unreasoning prejudice many authors have been so

9:29touchy that even casual reference to spiritual things made as a bristle with antagonism the sort of thinking had to be abandoned but some of us resisted we found no great difficulty in casting aside such feelings faced with alcoholic destruction we soon became as open-minded in spiritual matters as we had tried to be another question in this respect alcohol was a great persuader it finally beaters into a state of regionalness sometimes this was a tedious process we hope no one else will be prejudiced for as long as some of us were so well written yeah that idea you know you see people of faith you know they've got these convictions and in their lives easier they have a simple outlook on life and they're not so worried about life

10:37because they've got this belief in God and the afterlife and all the rest of it and I think not states are like I mean you know you're quite lucky actually but you know it's just some of the stuff they believe in seems a bit unlikely and that's a common perception so we're handicapped friend of show's handicapped by obstinacy sense stiffness and unreasoning prejudice that's a good line isn't it unreasoning prejudice unreasoning and that we're trying to get from unreasoning to reasonableness faced with alcohol like a destruction

11:39well everything pursued us it says didn't that you know we were sensitive from everything casual reference to spiritual things me there's a bit of sort of antagonism good and bristling the sort of thinking had to be abandoned I like that like you know it's just abandoned and you know you're prejudiced you're all thinking just fucking abandoned you know you know put it to one side or you know hold on to it abandoned I think you know just happening around willingness you know come on your life isn't going so well you know two or one will have are you willing are you willing you faced with alcohol or destruction and it's such a great phrase we see all the time you know I saw Jordan read the the destruction of a life as a result of alcoholism and

12:47you know it's kind of like you your life is being destroyed we have a solution to this problem you know and it involves you abandoning you certain ways of thinking and look at your life yeah look where you are right so why the fuck do you want to hold on to is that going well how you're thinking yeah it's not it's not going well so you need to change how you think right that's clear so you've got to consider new ideas but I think it makes no sense to hold on to you know where it says sometimes you know it's quite a difficult choice the alcoholic death or you know the spatial life and you know I can see that this person's choosing the latter to be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live in a spiritual basis I'm not always easy for sanitary species yeah well this is the thing isn't it

13:52you know it's like abandoning your power your your belief you do it's a bit like I've been wrong on my life and you know I don't want to accept that I don't want to accept that I've been wrong it's the ego you know you just forget the pride and then hold your hands and say okay actually this life isn't working for me yeah okay I throw in the towel I mean what's the problem with changing with deciding even don't even look at it as I've been wrong on my life just look at it as you know as time for change I'm going to try something different and you know maybe it will help me you know to see as a way of it as an improvement rather than you know a judgment

14:59hmm you know it's just it's just that it hasn't worked it's just time for change you know now it was diagnosis no alcohol destructive it's my reality and these people have been where I where I am now and they've got they've got to be right need to get to sort of about just just doing what it says in this really good yeah you know and these and these things are quite sensible for Justin you know that you know I'm being I'm being obstinate I'm being sensitive and I'm being you know prejudicial why won't get desired doing something pulled to open remain and get willing okay I'll get that go because you know I don't you know I don't want to be destroyed

16:01I've been beaten into still a reasonable and sometimes this was a tedious process you tell me I mean I've been at sound room for six months we've been obstinate prejudiced and sensitive for sitting with antagonism yeah yeah pretty much and you know decided to give out a goal with the old town chemical harmony business and you know just cause a lot of trouble because a lot of trouble and you know it's heading for destruction and it was beaten into a state of reasonableness it's like it says there you know and and and came in and just the meatmyer came to it was reading them some pretty sure you know I'm in the main place to show you but it suddenly the big book that you'd looked at before suddenly

17:05became true and you started paying attention to it because you'd realized that you know that's that's a rather to come didn't you know and also I thought I didn't really give this book a proper study you know I didn't you know I just read through it once you know and thought it's a bit weird and then you know it does warm study and you know I mean what we're doing I'm finding great because there's so many gems in here you know that you know sometimes this was a tedious process you know we know no one knows we've created this for as long as someone was very you know I just think that this this kind of suddenly I'm looking at myself thinking oh I'm prejudiced you know I'm prejudiced again for just people I'm prejudiced again from you know prejudiced

18:06against spirituality you know prejudiced against this and the other you know I'm very very dogmatic and my thinking and what was brought me you know and you know my faith in alcohol and drugs is gone I've got to stop that I know that you know that it's like those things are just trying to so I've got to find something else and I I'm going to study this book and you found it yeah yeah and I mean chaksa for does not get studied a law in the rooms so it's good to be going through carefully yeah thanks son we've seen the came as open-minded on special matters as we had tried to be another question and

19:08and I've got much