BONUS: Our Third 'My First Time' Act Revealed!

0:00Carrie and Tommy's bonus pock-dye! My first gig went a little like this! Carrie and Tommy's my first time! Celebrate 40 years of funny at Australia's biggest laugh fest for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. March 25th, April 19th, with hundreds of local and international acts booked now at comedyfestival.com.au. We are putting on a Money Can't Buy gig called My First Time where we get some of the best comedians in the country to perform their first ever five minutes of stand-up and some celebrity guests. Because are you ready to meet the next comedian? Do you think he remembers his first time? Oh, let's find out. You've recently just seen him. I'm a celebrity. Get me out of here. It's the one and only. Nafe Alba! Good evening. When I first heard about this gig, I didn't scroll down and so I just saw that it was called My First Time.

1:00And thought, do you guys really want to hear about the guy from the internet in the car? And I had a fake name? No. Yes, that's actually what we'd like to hear. What was your fake name? Oh my god, you're going to love this. So forget, I'm 20 at the time on 19. This is the name I chose because I thought it was a cool name. Yes. Tim. Just Tim. Just Tim. It's generic enough. I can see why you went with Tim. And 19 year old Nathan, closeted in Greensboro there in Melbourne was like, Tim's the hottest name ever. I was going to say, Tim, one name only, is giving huge gay man pretending to be straight. I've nailed it. So you met this guy for the first time and hooked up in the back of a car? Yeah, hang on. Can we talk about the comedy gig? No, we will. You're first time everyone will get to hear when you do the comedy gig. They're not going to get to hear this clanger.

2:01Oh my god, I'm the biggest idiot in the world. I actually thought you said you went on stage under the pseudonym Tim. No, no, no, no. I mean, I mean, I was performing, but it was. How did you go? Which one? The first time the one with Tim. The Tim. I mean, how good can it be if it's in a car? Was it a tennis, a tennis club court car park? And, you know, also, by the way, he was lying too. I may have had a fake name, but he, I remember him telling me he was also my age, but I don't remember seeing Pete plates. There was no Pete plates. There's actually started to sound more like he ever does. Was he his name? That would have given away his age. Yeah, yeah, yeah, little cat backwards. So now, now I would like to know Valvo about your first comedy gig.

3:04Do you remember your first five minutes? This is the issue with the gig. We all grow as comedians, and we all know there's certain things you can't say anymore. And that you shouldn't say anymore. There's one particular bit, I think I can't say that anymore. But much like the roasts over the last few years, a lot of it will be left in the room and won't go online. So we're there to protect you. Okay, well, then good, we're good to go. I mean, if people heard some of the stuff he said at last year's roast, you wouldn't be working anymore. That was just about me. Excuse me. You know, it was really surprising on that night. OG was best on for me was Steve Price. I don't know where that came from. But the gags he threw at me that night, I still think about. So Tommy reckons he remembers. Like he must have gone over in his head so much. He remembers his first ever set for you. And when we spoke to Lizzie, who she's got a Google doc, where hers is in there.

4:04But for yours, did your brain just sort of delete what it doesn't need and move on? I could not tell you what we spoke about a minute ago in this conversation. Like I'm very bad at remembering that stuff. I do remember I did it very, I did things differently because I was so weird and insecure. I did how arrogant is this Tommy little? I did an hour solo show before I ever did a spot. Hold on, so a spot's normally like a eight to ten minute bit. So your first goal was I'm going to give people a flower of me. I did an hour, I did an hour. And well, let me say this Tommy little. My first or second show many years ago, you came to it. Was that your grind to show? Yes. When you start as a comic, you're like, what do people kept saying? Talk about what you know. And I was like, but all I know is grinder. That was my life. So I thought, you know what I'll do?

5:04It's my first ever solo show. It was a whole hour just talking about every grinder hook up I've ever had. I'm interested now that we are winding back the clock, whether I've invented this in my imagination or not. But I feel like you used to do this thing where we do gigs together and you would say to the MC, can you say it's like one of my first gigs? But by this point, you were like eight years in. Is that something that happened or not? I have never done that. I was stopped spreading that slander. Why do you think I've done that? Yeah, that was honestly a memory I had then. I mean, it's good. I mean, I'm going to from now. Well, that's how we're going to start this one for everybody. Pretend this is my first time. Valvo, we're so excited to have you. You can also say, Nathan, well, I've been as you show. Homebody will to be at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. And one other thing before we kick off, I know who's very excited who's been texting me nonstop about this gig. My new friend, Australia's new favourite.

6:06And the ****. We haven't announced him yet, but thanks for ruining it. Whoops. Sorry. It is a problem. He's a little, he's a little tease for the announcement in a few days. I think he just, Jesse just caught the beep on that one. So it's fine. Oh, sorry. Okay. Well, he's texting me a lot. He's very excited. Do you think you'll be good? Well, he, he tested a few roasts on me. And I said, yeah, good luck with that. But you do that. You do that. Make sure you go see Nathan Valvo in Homebody. Tickets are available now. He's also touring the country. We've got dates in camera, Brisbane, Perth Sydney. And as I said, the Melbourne Comedy Festival. And if you want to come see my first time, carryingtommy.com.au. Valvo, thank you. Bye. Bye.