Billified Classics: Rice, Romance & Really Bad Decisions

0:00If you like YouTube, you'll love YouTube Premium. Hi, I'm Sean Evans from Hot Ones and I want to tell you about YouTube Premium. It has offline downloads, so you can watch without Wi-Fi. Background play. So you can lock your phone and it still plays, baby. Oh, and it is completely ad-free. Yes, I said it, ad-free. Try YouTube Premium for two months free at youtube.com slash premium. So eligibility varies, terms apply, cancel anytime. This week at Vons and Albertsons, USDA choice tri-tip roast untrimmed are 599 per pound. Limit four roasts with membership were applicable. And medium-ripe, half-sovacados are 99 cents each, with membership were applicable. Plus Kellogg cereals 8.8 to 16.1 ounces, selected varieties, or peppered farm goldfish 5.9 to 8 ounces are 199 each when you buy three. Three offers with membership were applicable. Visit vonsoralbertsons.com for more deals and ways to save.

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3:10Thank you for getting your pot on. Thanks for telling a friend. That's how we spread the word about the pirate ship. A little different episode today. Kind of a hybrid. And I'll explain why, but we're going to get into some old classic billified bits. She has been making some noise on social media with her friends that she's trying to hook up. Stephanie I. Yeah. Before Stephanie met her current power, Moore, Mike, who she's very head over heels for. Yeah, but four years they've been dating. Right. She has been, she was out on the scene dating. And she was called to intense by some guy. Yeah. And she loved bombing because she was like, love bomb. I don't know. This episode in the original episode, I think it was episode 96. Okay. In the first 100 episodes we did. And she in this episode talks about, I guess she went out with some guy.

4:16Drunk and left her car at his house. But then and so took an Uber home to her house. Yeah, you don't want to drive home when you're been drinking. Oh no. So the next day she was biking to pick up his, but she was filming herself biking. Oh, that's right. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. But she wrote the guy a song. True. She would write songs. And. Hey you. Yes. So. She wrote the song. I wrote this song. Now make it better. Danny actually sings her lyrics. I do. In the song. And it's pretty entertaining. Before that though, we have a segment where we go back and there for ball season, there were bites at stadiums. Always. I was wondering if civility is lost. I think so. And I went through and I found different stories, including one out of the times in Wayne County where a woman went back and tried to return a bag of rice and was told she

5:19couldn't return the bag of rice. And well, then you can figure out what happened after that. Of course. But so we take a blind call and we call this person and we get that whole story. So all that coming up in this episode, but this is, this is, I wasn't sure where to do this or how to do this. I knew how to do it because I wasn't going to do it. I knew you were going to do it. Of course. That was going to be your thing. Lights are killing me. So what I think, a long time listener of both our radio stuff and then on to the podcast. Yeah, we're going back decades. Yeah, is a gentleman named Doug. I'm just going to say Doug. Doug had sent me a request and he said, I don't know if this is a bit. There was a lot of thought that went into it. Well, there was. There was a lot of thought, a lot of back and forth. And I was intrigued because it is not something that we would normally do on the podcast.

6:21No, usually we just call up a random funeral homes as people from tanning beds and try to get some dead body. Or no, we call up as funeral homes, right? Two tanning beds to try to bring over some bodies to brown up some meat a little bit for for showings. So this he wrote me and said, Bill, I have a fun idea. Excuse me. I have an idea of a fun old school prank thought you and Danny might enjoy doing. And he talked about how he was having a barbecue and he would love for Danny to call a good friend saying he's a detective. And it's very possible that the person that we're talking to who is at the barbecue consumes human meat. Also if he is aware, but the barbecue, the person hosting the barbecue, the sky, the gentleman Doug, his ex-wife is missing as they currently have police officers digging up his yard.

7:24This is where it goes like when I met him, Doug and his wife were married. I think at the time we performed at their house. Yes, we did come. You and Tom related comedy. I performed with my guitar. Yeah. Yeah. So he gives us a little script here of what he wanted you to do. Hi, this is blank. This is detective blank. You're not in any trouble. We're currently investigating. So I mean, you got to play it your way. I would probably say you're not I would leave that you're not in any trouble out. Okay. Because to me, that's a that's a tell. I would just say I want to ask you about a barbecue that we believe you were you attended. It was on September 12th. So are you ready? I think so. So all right. So I got the address. I got this. Doug has an ex-wife. She's gone. Yeah. Okay. She's gone missing. A Mr. Doug. We'll have to be people. He'll have to be all that. Yeah. And that you're calling everybody that was in attendance. Yes. We think it would be easy to be visiting people.

8:28We don't want to wake him up. How well do you knew the host of this party? Mm-hmm. Did everything seem normal? Apparently have police on property right now digging in remnants of the bottom. You can sue anything. Yeah. We don't know a lot right now. Although we know right now is that Mr. Smith's barbecue that you went to appear to have been burned. Is victim in the bonfire and serve them to his guest. This is fucking top. All right. Well, what we do. Well, it's what we did. Take a bad bit and make it better. All right. So which... Who would you... Let's call the first guy. Because it sounds like the name of somebody we know. All right. Okay. That sounds good to me. So I will dial the person up. Wait. I just saw something.

9:28Oh, what's that? My number is going to go up. Okay. It starts at seven. Yeah. And then that's the number. All right. I don't want to call that guy now. Okay. So I'm going to go to somebody else. Okay. All right. All right. All right. Who am I calling? Uh. Your call has been forwarded to voicemail. The person you're trying to reach is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up. Hi. This message is for Mr. Wesley Alden. Hi. This is Detective Kevin Connors from the State Police Department. Uh, if you can give us a call back, we'll just try to reach you at another time, maybe in the next few minutes or so. Just be on the lookout for a call from the State Police Department momentarily. So we know the people screen their calls nowadays. We understand why. So just hang tight. We will call you back. All right. Those okay.

10:30Uh, let's call this person is Matt. Hello. You're carrying a call. It's possible. Detective Kevin Connors from State Police Department. Hope you're doing well. If you give us a call back, uh, 585 206 88 66, we'd appreciate that. Thank you. Hi. And this is how you make a bit fail. Yeah. It's not like the old days where we could just, you know, uh, well, we tried for you, Mr. Smith. We try. We try. We tried. We tried. We tried. We should call them tanning beds. I don't know. No, we tried that too. We call it tanning beds. We're fine. Uh, it was worth a shot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sit back, relax, enjoy some early episodes of billified, uh, coming up with some 315 interview that involves two women, Walmart and a bag of rice. Oh, wow. Right after this. This week at Vons and Albertans, USDA choice tri-tip roast untrimmed are 599 per pound.

11:34Limit four roasts with membership were applicable and medium ripe hasovicados are 99 cents each with membership were applicable. Plus Kellogg cereals 8.8 to 16.1 ounces selected varieties or peppered farm goldfish 5.98 ounces are 1.99 each when you buy three. Limit three offers with membership were applicable. Visit vons or Albertsons.com for more deals and ways to save. It's fall in Jeep country and during the drive into fall sales event, get a great deal on four by fours that refuse to be contained like Jeep Wrangler. This built into every drive with the most awarded SUV ever, Jeep Grand Cherokee and freedom that can't be denied with the open air freedom and Jeep gladiator. After 85 years, it's no surprise that Jeep became America's SUV brand. Get a great deal during the Jeep drive into fall sales event. Jeep is one more awards over its lifetime than any other SUV brand, Jeep and the Jeep Grill or Registered Trademarks of FCA US LLC. This week at Vons and Albertsons, USDA choice tri-tip roasts untrimmed are 599 per pound.

12:35The four roasts with membership were applicable and medium-ripe pass-off accottos are 99 cents each with membership were applicable. Plus Kellogg cereals 8.8 to 16.1 ounces, selected varieties or Pepperidge Farm Goldfish 5.98 ounces are 1.99 each when you buy three. Limit three offers with membership were applicable. Visit vons or Albertsons.com for more deals and ways to save. You never think you're going to need a personal injury attorney until you do. It's not something you plan for. You know, one minute you're just living your life, did-did-do, next thing you know, you're dealing with an accident, an injury, misdwork and a whole lot of stress you didn't ask for. And here's the truth. Insurance companies? They've got a plan. They know exactly what they're doing. The question is, do you? That's why if it's me, I'm calling Connors and Ferris. They know the system, they know how to fight, and more importantly, they know how to take care of people when things get messy.

13:36You're not just a case file to them. They walk you through it, step by step, and make sure you're not getting pushed around when you're already down. So if life throws you one of those moments, don't try to figure it out alone. Call Connors and Ferris or visit Connors and Ferris.com with offices in New York City, Syracuse, Rochester and Buffalo. Because when it matters most, you want someone in your corner who actually knows how to win. Connors and Ferris. There's a story in the Times and Wayne County where a 24-year-old woman was at a Walmart and she punched a female employee in the head. Is there a reason? Well, it's always a reason. I doesn't say in the Times and Wayne County, but I reached out to her. Of course you did. Is she good looking? She was at Walmart. And 315. Yeah. All right, I'd take that bag. Is she good looking for 315? Yes. She's an attractive young girl.

14:38We'll talk to her in a second, but I'm like, what if you witness something like that in the store? Do you jump in? I know. I can't. I walk away. I want her to call on our shots. One, one, three, three, three, two, two, three. I don't know because I think I might like say something like, hey, hey, what's wrong? The problem is she's a female. Wow. She was hit you and I was saying you grabbed her than you're at fault. Exactly. That's the problem. Have you ever gotten involved with like customers and employees or even like customers who maybe see that? Funny. I was at Los today. I was caching out. I was getting a washer and dryer because, you know, doing a lot of shit to the house. So ladies, sending me up for the MVP stuff. And it takes a little bit. This old guy comes up. He's probably 70. Is this going to take long? He says he's been standing for 10 seconds. So she kind of ignores him. He says it again. He says it again. He says it again. I said, there's another fucking register right down there. Why don't you walk down to it? You decided to stay in there anyways. Now he was dug in. So now he's not saying. So now he's not saying. Right? So then a couple of minutes goes by and we're finishing up and the other cashier walks

15:41up. He's like, you think you can cash yourself so we don't have to stay in here? The guy was just a total asshole to this cashier, both of them. Yeah. And I was like, I just wanted to say something. So me and my buddy were there and he said something and I said, well, at least I had a better day than that fucking asshole. I go, that guy's worried about waiting three minutes to cash out. And what else does he have to do? I mean, we're at the pro desk. It's not like we're at the regular register. There's four registers open. Go. Is civility just gone in society? Well, there's a little crazy these days. Sports world anywhere. We got a 24 year old girl in Walmart who I'll tell you what. So she said to me, I wrote her and said, there's usually two sides to every story. And she looked too young to like even be this, but end too sweet. She just looked like this sweet young girl on Facebook. She said definitely two sides, any story, but unfortunately, when you're a manager and I'm just an employee, it doesn't matter about how she put me down as a person. She has the power. Find out what else went on. I'll call it right now. Her name is Vic story.

16:42She was the employee. No, she was the customer and the employee or the manager, she says put her down. So she did the punching, right? So she did the punching. Yeah, I was serious. Can you take when Walmart employee can turn, put you down though? I don't know. It's fun. Let's see if Victoria answers. I like the name Victoria. Yeah. Maybe get a data of this. I have a girlfriend. Oh, I forgot. I did. Victoria may not answer it. I'll read you the rest of her statement if she doesn't answer. All right. Speaking of your phone number, tell me I could call. Hello. Hello. Victoria. Yeah. How are you? Good. You. This is the podcast that I had sent you a message earlier. My name is Bill. Hello. And I've got Mark here and Matt here and Kevin here. And we were just talking about different people and fights at sporting events. And then I said there was a story in the Times Wayne County of this young girl.

17:46And when I looked it up, you didn't look hardened enough to punch an employee. You look like just a sweet kid. Um, I actually, this is where the story she takes it off of saying I didn't even punch her. I slapped her with a bag of rice. I feel like I should have any laughter. I feel like I should have any laughter. She's right there. Well, and now the Times Wayne County dropped the ball on that one. The story was much better. I actually made a status and I said, wow, they gave me more props than I deserve. Crack the Port of Dan Borrello on the story. So, uh, all right. So you said I did what I did. Why did you do what you did? Uh, he called me broke for wanting to exchange the flavor. Change the flavor of what? The right. The bag of rice. I didn't know rice had flit. Well, you could get jazz like the rice. Yeah. Is there like no or the nor or whatever? The dollar one. No, that's good. Rice. Yeah. Oh, okay.

18:46Oh, chicken. So your broke ass is up there. What's up? Here's the rice. Victoria, I'm kidding you. That's me. So, you're good. I'm laughing at it. So, Victoria, she called you broke to your face? What did she say? Yeah. I was already walking halfway down the front of the thing and as I was walking away, she said, I don't know what customer that broke to come to exchange the dollar flavor instead of just buying a whole new one. Oh, so you were bringing it back? Oh, so you were bringing it back? Oh, you were bringing it back. But oh, you want it? Well, why couldn't you just exchange the flavor? I get it. She told me to drive to the store I work at. You work at Walmart? Yeah. Nothing more. She knows that. I'm just so excited. Oh, I know. I do. I do. Did she know you worked for a different Walmart? Yeah. Oh, she did? So, do you know this person? No. And so, you just. Not at all. You just went upside her head with a bag of rice. I mean, did it knock her over? No. Should we get you enough? No, those are little bags.

19:46So, it's a dollar? Yeah. Yeah. Like, here's my question. You know, I kind of want to know this. Why did you have to exchange it? Why didn't you just keep it and get the other one? Because he broke. I'm not broke. Because she works at Walmart. No, I didn't mean. And yeah, we get the same paycheck for that. So, why did you do that? Why did you do that? I didn't mean to do that. I didn't mean to do that. So, why did you do that? Actually, your paycheck's probably a lot better than mine. Why didn't you take it to the Walmart? You work at that. I'm not driving 30 minutes to go get a different flavor for my kids. Oh, so these are for your kids. That's ridiculous. Yes. Yes. I got you. How old are your kids? Five, two, and ten months old. Wait a second. You're 24? Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. Five, two. I got busy. I guess so. You need to work more at Walmart. Okay. So, in tonight's in the three of five, Bobby, are you, are you, is, is there a daddy in their

20:48lives in your house? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so you live with their dad? Yeah. Are you married? No. No. Not that lucky. So, are all the kids, if you were all the kids, his? Yeah. They are. You're the one who's going to bring you the slap in the upside to have a little worse beggar ice soup. I'm about to. Now, did I see something and I don't mean to get too personal, but I did find the unfaithbook. That's how I messaged you didn't connect. And did I see something about you like losing a ton of weight or something? Yeah. You got down to 84 pounds? Yeah. You better get two bags of rice on you. Yeah, I know. Why were you down to 84 pounds stress? Yeah. What's going on in your life? I don't do it to you. You're 24 years old. She's got three kids and needs rice. That's a lot of fucking stress. You're not stressed in my skin, Mary. Yeah. That's a lot of stress right there. I feel bad at 24 that you got down because that's not healthy.

21:48How much did you normally weigh? Um, like 130. 130. How tall are you? 50 pounds, that's heavy. Yeah, that's a lot to lose. Five two. Five two. So boy, that's a lot. You want to look like a cancer patient or something. No, no, seriously. It was bad, yeah. Why? What happened? All right, not me. I'm going to do that. You're not in now. You're facetime in me. I didn't even. I want to see her. Let's see. Oh, your kid hit it. So listen, listen, all right. Well, I don't want to take up too much of your time then. But so what's going to happen now? That you put in your life. I'm going to be a little bit more patient. I'm going to be a little bit more patient. I'm going to be a little bit more patient. I'm going to be a little bit more patient. I'm going to be a little bit more patient. I don't want to take up too much of your time then. But so what's going to happen now that you put on some weight from 84 pounds? I'm actually still going through it, but yeah, it's a process. What are you up to? I've honestly went up only like 15 years. But that's okay. So you're over. I put you over. Are you over 100 now? Yeah. All right that's good. That's featherweight. We got featherweight in the rice division. See, long way to go.

22:48I had two 45 honey. vision. Long way to go to $245, honey. I'm gonna need the whole box. You're gonna need the whole box of that shit. Yeah, I think you probably will. So today bring up on charges or anything or no? Yes. Harassment. No, I got dropped down the harassment in the second because when they pulled the video tape, they seen that I smacked her with the bag of rice and I didn't turn the face. So she's a hyperconjure at. Oh, how old was this person that you hit? Twice my age. So she's like 48 years old, huh? Probably, but she's probably like 3040 3040. She go down. No, those bags are small. Yeah. So I mean, would you do it again? So did you you marched to win a hang on a say I'm sorry to interrupt their man. You're You if I'm picturing this right you're walking away to go get the other flavor rice you want to exchange. Would that be correct?

23:49Oh, no, she wasn't even gonna let me do it. So I was walking out the store to say fuck her. You know, fuck it. Okay. Whatever you want to be like that. And that's when she I'm already walking away to start running her lips and as a customer service manager at CSM, you shouldn't be talking to a customer like that. Yeah. So then you turned around and said, well, fuck you and you're I was on the wrong type of time that day. Yeah. I guess so here's the question. I'm type of time. I like that idea too. I've never heard that phrase. I'm trying to see what the woman looks like. I guarantee I have it in my head. I guarantee she was all the woman that got hit. Yeah, she was 300 pounds, right Victoria? Oh, no, she wasn't that heavy. She was on 95. Yeah, no, honestly, she's probably about my weight. Did she look like she came from a trailer park? I wish. No, she pretty. I guess you could just say she got money. Whatever. I'm sure her husband takes care of her. Whatever.

24:53She's not like a bad looking lady. She got money. She has three one five money. Victoria, I'm showing your Victoria. I'm showing your Facebook page to the guys on the show here. Okay. Just so they can say, there's your single. Oh, look, look, look right away. Are you single then or no? No, no, when he acts, right? It's complicated when he acts. Yeah, when he acts right. So how many times have you had trouble with the law in your life? This is actually my second. Your second. What was the first? I lost it. I was under 21 and it was something stupid. I had a wall. I got caught up with some friends and got conspiracy. Conspiracy to do what? They were doing some dumb shit and I was the driver. So they were stealing stuff. They were stealing stuff. Yeah. So you're the getaway driver. Yeah. And what? I didn't even know at Eastview Mall. Yeah. And they caught them, huh? You three one five.

25:53You three one five is going to work on your getaway better. Well, I wasn't even knowing. That's why I get it. You know, if you look it up, I'll never be seen for that because it's not something, you know, yeah. Well, Victoria, what's the next step? Do you have to go to court or it's all done? Yeah, no, I'm a fourth. I go to court, but I got the same attorney actually for my victor charge. So okay, he's a real one. Who's the lawyer? His name is David Kang. Okay. We're awesome, actually. I'm just thinking of a bit a lot cheaper just to buy the other bag of rice. I agree. That's what I said. In the more satisfying. You could have, when you could have exchanged the other one when you went back to work one day, right? Yeah. So pretty much Victoria, what my saying is, and I kind of agree with him, this kind of this is all kind of your fault. But sadly, more satisfying. Well, I don't blame her for slapping her when she said that though. Yes. And Victoria has owned it a little bit. She's, she wrote me and said, yeah, she said,

26:56instead she called me broken and insisted I buy a whole other one instead of exchanging. She has the power. I did what I did. Yeah, it was wrong to hit her, but I came in as a customer trying to exchange. So I would say the most important thing any adult can do is learn to control their emotions. Not always easy. No, but that's an important thing. I'm guessing her boyfriend pissed her off before she went to the stall. Oh, yes. Oh, right before I walked in. Yeah. Wait. Oh, right before you walked in too. That's even worse. What do they say? What happened? It's just a little through a bunch of crap. The guy three kids is busy. And he was busy. What kind of busy? Yeah, like busy with. He was playing video games. He was playing video games. He's singing out loud. And you know, hanging out with other women though. Do you think he is? No, no, no, no. That's good. I kill him. Is that gonna be my next part? The bagger ice. If you wind up getting a murder charge, we got a great lawyer who I'll help.

27:59We yes. Yes. Steve's circuit will help you get you get you get out of that. It's fall in Jeep country. And during the drive into fall sales event, get a great deal on four by fours that refuse to be contained like Jeep Wrangler. Confidence built into every drive with the most awarded SUV ever, Jeep Grand Cherokee, and freedom that can't be denied with the open air freedom and Jeep gladiator. After 85 years, it's no surprise that Jeep became America's SUV brand. Get a great deal during the Jeep drive into fall sales event. Jeep is one more awards over its lifetime than any other SUV brand, Jeep and the Jeep Grilla registered trademarts of FCA US LLC. Hey, it's Kelly Rowland. You may not know this, but I have Exama. So I get how it can steal your time. But why let Exama take over when you can talk to your doctor about Ebbgliss? Ebbgliss, lubricism app LBKZ, a 250-mg per 2-mg leader injection, is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older, who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema. Also called a topic dermatitis that is not well controlled with

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30:02FCAUS LLC. When it comes to home improvement, you've got choices. Let's say there's a hole in the bedroom wall and somehow nobody in the house knows how it got there. You could fix it. I mean, there's always you too, right? But you know, three hours later, it's going to look like a patch job. Not even a good patch job. And how about that leak under the kitchen sink? Yeah, you said you'd get to it and that was what? Two and a half, three months ago? If we're being honest, we all have that list. The one where deep down, you're not totally sure you've got the skills to pull it off. If it's my list, I'm calling Mac of all trades. Holes in the wall, handled. Leaky sinks, done. Full kitchen remodel. Yeah, they got that too. And hey, warmer weather's coming. How's that deck looking? Need it extended? Rebuilt? Outdoor patio? Don't be a deck head,

31:04called Mac of all trades, 585202, 90218. That's 585202, 90218. And you can see all they do online at Macofaltraids.net. They'll handle it. So you don't have to. We learned something about Stephanie during the break. Stephanie, this is this may be the funniest thing that I had heard. She wrote a song for the guy. Do you mind if I say that? I don't know. I did write a song. If you want to get to the front of the line, it's breaking up song. It's a breakup song. Well, it's hanging on. I'm on the line. I gotta get these cameras on like the missing all this. It's like at the wedding singer where Adam Sandler's character was playing that one song. It was a boo. Well, I was gonna write a song like a happy song and then I end up writing like a breakup song. Let's do any singer. Come on, please. Come on. I will sing it in any key or any style.

32:06I can do reggae. I can do hip hop. I can do James Hetfield. I have one list. I need a listing. A listing. From one of the listeners. I will let you play my love song. Break up song. Hang on. All right. So this guy said you were two intents. Yep. Then you I shouldn't probably not have written it in the song. So then after he tells you you're two intents. Yeah. I wrote a song. I wrote a song. Did you have any disagreements with this guy? Any spats prior to this weekend? Yes. Okay. So is this maybe this is how he what what do they call it? Danny? Your love language or something like that? Yeah. Yeah. That's what's called. Your love like. Yeah. Maybe that's how he talks. Is that possible? I don't know. He didn't think we were broken up. Well, that's what I'm saying. He told me Friday night. Yeah. He said I like you. I like you too much. I like you too much. Yeah. Which then for you was like now we just went fucking turbo in your world.

33:11Right. It just went turbo. There are fucking flames. You got nitro in the back. I like tequila, right? Yeah. Love tequila. He hates tequila. The smell that makes him want a vomit. Okay. So the thing that makes him want to vomit is my mouth right now. No. No. Well, that usually tequila doesn't have much of an odor or anything. He's like, oh tequila from your breath. So I'm like, should we just break up right now? Because I'm like a tequila girl. And he's like, no, I like you way too much. Okay. Friday night. Okay. All right. So we said that. All right. So but he didn't think you broke up after Saturday. Yeah, after I left. So what's the problem then? I mean, I don't want to be. You don't want to start to think it's out of about that. Like he kind of flipped out at the debit card story. We're broken up for good. Just an album. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, we never, ever. Oh, yeah, yeah, you're a lot. You're a lot. Yeah, we just know because this whole thing, like, I know. But maybe you need to just relax a little bit. I think that you let the shit work itself, self out.

34:11I want to read you lyrics. So fucking hard. Give the lyrics to. Can I leave you lose? Because I want to see your ex. Yeah, there's a lot of steam. Livestane. Livestane. There's a line in the breakup. So I go, they don't ride them like that anymore. I want to see if you do. I want to see if you do. I will not share it. No, you're like, you're like a rabid fox and bright. And get a whole damn shake you off. All of a sudden, there's this. It's like, it's like this story, right? No, it's going to take me after this. I thought it would be a good idea to bike to my car today. Oh, God. Dine. Oh, did you get his inspiration for the song about half of it? You're about to see something truly terrifying. Stephanie I don't know. That's a fox sneaking up on a woman in her front yard. For this angle, you can see the attack. She speaks up on a guy unsuspecting. He gets from the yard. She kicks the fox over and over, but the animal keeps coming back. Stephanie just keeps coming back. Got to edit that to be cooger. He's spiting her legs and scratching her arms. She's biting and scratching.

35:12She loves to kill it. The smell and to kill is making him sick. She tries to break free. The more I tried to get him to leave me alone, the more voracious he came after me. Yes, he just wouldn't. It's just reversed and said he she. Yeah, and this is a man speaking. The more I tried to get her to leave, the more voracious she came at me. It's like a nachio. Stop. And my fear was that he was going to trip me up. And I would fall and he would attack my face. Attack your face. The fox won't give up. He's latched into the fatty part of your hand right between your thumb and your forefinger. Stephanie's got a whole mouth. He's shaker. And I tried to rip him off. I tried to swing him off. But then her neighbor shows up with a stick. Yeah, it's a two. It's retreats. Stephanie ran away. That's called intensity. So like you know how people play the game, like the art of seduction, if you will.

36:14Okay. I'm just real. I'm like, hey, cue. I just. All right. I don't play the game. Yeah. I know. Is that one of the lyrics? They almost spit my water out. So you write songs for every guy after a breakup? No, no, no, look. Without without my second breakup song. And I've written three love songs. Well, look at this. Wow, you could make a lot of money. I know. Some are pretty good. But then I've deleted them. Like I said, um, oh yeah. Can you read a song about Greg? Why? Why? Why not? Called the hair. Either Greg or Bill. Do we don't care who? I'll read you the opening line. Oh, here we go. Opening line of Stephanie now. To tease. Is this a country song? Yeah. Okay. It is. I'm this camera. I don't trust them. That's I gave it to fast. I didn't hold back. I poured me real strong. I gave it to me real strong. That is definitely a country song. Give us some Hank Williams. Wow. Yeah. Well, you see, okay.

37:16So can you read, can you read line please? Read the line. I gave it to fast. I didn't hold back. I poured me real strong. Do you want Hank Williams, senior or Hank Williams, too? No. Taylor's choice. This is so embarrassing. I gave it to fast. I didn't hold back. I didn't hold back. I poured me real strong. I poured me real strong. Cause I know what I want. When I want it so bad. What's the next line? We went back. You got it. You're already this far in. You got to go the whole fucking way. Come on. My life's gone. I get the move after that. You're listening. You don't have to move. Not at all. I'm like tearing up. Embarrassment laughter. Laughter is the best medicine. And I said now I felt real deep but that's a problem. Cause it didn't last long.

38:18Now it felt real deep. But you didn't go deep. Cause it didn't last long. And now I'm smoking this bone. All night long. So my songwriter though. Yeah. Okay. So you write these lyrics. Yes. But it's like a... Right. It's a release. It's a release. Well it's supposed to be... They tell you to write a letter and never send it. Yeah. And your old friend said, why did you send it? So you sent this guy the lyrics. Can I just tell you right now as a guy? Is a guy in a single? Yeah. That's fucking insane. Laughter. If I got... Danny you get song lyrics. I'd be like, can I keep these? Wait till she breaks up the show and writes one about the show. No. You had me. I don't know that. I'm terrified but I built that. I can't take it all more.

39:18No one will make me. I guarantee you. I guarantee you by spice summer you will have a full-time boyfriend. Things will go well. Yes. Yes. We can't guarantee. No, I'm a little weird. Well someone you can tolerate. I know that's not a ringing endorsement. I think it's the other way around. I think it's someone you can tolerate. Well yeah. Like the intensity. Yes. Amitance. Yeah. Is that something? I don't know. I just love real hard. I do that with my kids too. Is that why they got in trouble this weekend? You loved them too hard. Yes. I had to lay the hammer down. We don't even know. Stephanie the hammer ride. I think you should call this guy. Yeah. I think we should tell him. We should all call. He didn't... I looked. He isn't even responded. No, I know.

40:18He's like Kevin's phone. He won't suspect it. And then we'll all have like an intervention for both of you right here. Oh my god. I'm billified. Well you really liked the guy. Yeah. So much so you wrote a song for him. And he didn't think you were broken up. I don't see the problem. Yeah. I made it clear. Like he got so cranky and was... All right. Was this the first time that he had gotten this cranky with you? It's the third time. He's over in a week and a half. Yeah, he told me he wasn't fully over his axe. Well, that's the red flag. Red flag, you're done. So we had a discussion about that. Yeah. So you're the rebound. Yeah, I guess so. Okay. All right. He's like, I didn't plan on meeting you, but we hit it off. So it's kind of like a weird spot. And by the way, it doesn't mean that it's over. You could wind up taking like a two weeks sabbatical and then you come right back to it. Hey, it's Kelly Rowland. You may not know this, but I have eczema. So I get how it can steal your time.

41:19But why let eczema take over? When you can talk to your doctor about eczema. Eczema, Lebrichezema, LBKZ. A 250-milligram per 2-milliliter injection is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older, who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema. Also called a topic dermatitis that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin or topicals or who cannot use topical therapies. Ebglis can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you are allergic to ebglis. Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe. Eye problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have newer worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with ebglis. Before starting ebglis, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection. Paid partnership with Lily. Respect your time. Ask your doctor about ebglis and visit ebglis.com or call 1-800-LilyRX or 1-800-545-5979. It's Paul in America. Make it count. At the Ram Drive-In-Default Sales Event. Make it powerful with our strongest Ram 1500 ever.

42:19Make it move with the Ram Heavy Duty with an available Cummins Diesel. And make it go the distance with a 10-year or 100,000-mile powertrain limited warranty. Hurry and now for great deals during the Ram Drive-In-Default Sales Event. Excludes fully electric vehicles applied to 2026 model-year vehicles non-transferable. Visit mopedpar.com for complete details and a copy of the powertrain limited warranty. Cummins is a registered trademark of Cummins Inc. Ram and Hemmier. registered trademark of FCA-US LLC. That's even more intense. He was yelling at me. I don't like that. Do you feel like you could... Do you feel like... Because a lot of women do this. Do you feel like you could have changed him? And that's why you miss him. Say that. And you make fun of me. Because he's like, you don't respect my OCD. I do. I haven't said anything in three weeks. But I feel like if you're going to be 45 minutes late for something, just go check for a debit card. Maybe you should just go to the party. Okay. Yeah. No way that seems like a reason.

43:19That wasn't normal. Yeah. What do you mean by change? You thought you were trying to change things? A lot of women like to take a guy... It's a project. I could mold them into my own image. Yeah. I don't want that. But if somebody has a problem with something, well, maybe one other thing. Of him? That was... I can definitely not say this. Would you try to change it? He had a bad habit. I was like, I don't know if he should do that habit. Did you like to dip? I used to dip. You used to dip? I did. I had this... This is a pickup. This is how you said date. This is funny. So I would go up to guy... He's in the bar and I'd be like, hey, do you have a dip? One of two things will happen. I'd have the guy give me a dip and that's all. That's all. That's my line back in the day. Oh my god. Way back. Oh my god. Okay. Checking in, Doug Phelps and what's the sentence up first? Once in a day. Are you over 65?

44:19No. Sorry, Doug. That's his will house. What would be your standards? What are you looking for in a guy? If we were going to do the dating... I want the right guys to show up. You have a list you wrote out? Yeah. You want us to sing the list? Oh my god. I could just read it. This is bad. Wait, you have it on your phone? It's on our Pinterest. It's on our Pinterest. How do you not know it at the top of your head? Because it's pretty long. Here we go. What are you looking for? The list. No, not the list. The guy. I know it, but I figured I might as well. Yeah, well sometimes you know, you ever go to Wegmans and you forgot something to go, God damn it, I had the list. In my head. In my head. I might need to line something that rhymes with this. It might be on the list. All right, you ready? I'm ready.

45:19Come on. It's called the What do I want? It's long? Yeah. That's what she said. She's got a list of the clues. Get us another one. I wanted to be. Care about his health. I would love it if he was like a lifter. A attractive, strong, loves rock and roll. Understands why I need to be very close at concerts. Because that's an issue. I like, I want to be in the front. Loves guns of all kinds and shooting. Wanted to be loyal, honest, kind, smart, romantic, funny, motivated, spontaneous, loves my boys and would play with them like they're their own. Yeah, he does. It's totally. Yeah, he does. Yeah, he does. Toby Keith. Ready? Love sports would play with me if I wanted. Anything from golf to tennis to bike rides, hiking, fishing, make love one necessary, fuck one necessary, hold hands, small central hooks across the room. Wants to travel the world would gamble with me, would drink with me. Has enough money to support himself.

46:20Take vacations, go to concerts and sport events. I'm emotionally available. I just added that one. That's a big one though. My dream would be someone that's a musician. And I would love a guy like sing to me and play with my hair. That's it. Jesus. You might need a committee. We might have to like pull three or four different people in. Really? I feel like that's got to exist, right? That's a lot of check. There's a lot of boxes. I can roll fishing guns. That's a lot of boxes. Royal smart. Come on. What's so crazy about that? I can play with my hair. But I'm saying like, you know, we may have to, you know, get a committee. That's all because, you know, well, an age, I don't know if I would want to go over 54, might be my. Cut off the demo. Yeah. Do you ever date younger men? Yeah, I don't want to do that anymore. Why? What happened with the younger guys?

47:20Did you dip into the 20s? I think nine years younger was. Yeah. What's wrong with that? Probably not great. I don't like the pressure because then I'm like 80 or 71. We're going to look really old. At that point, it won't matter. Yeah, well, I don't know if I want to go younger. Maybe three years younger. Or. I heard the rule is half your age plus eight. That's the cut off. Half your age plus eight. Plus eight. So I'm 43. Let's say 44. So be 22 to eight. That'd be if I were single 30s as low as I could go. So would that be fair for you? Because you and I are about the same age. I'm 40. So that's 28. Okay. All right. Okay. So 30s are cut off. No, you're 35. Maybe 36 and up. How was this guy? 40. He was one month older than me. Perfect. I know. This was perfect. Yeah. And it didn't matter. Like you crank the music and spun your hair around and did all that. You had bang together.

48:20That's fucking it. That's intense. That's intense. I'm kicking back. I got y'all rock. Oh, my God. How I'm drinking. That's it. I'm going to leave. I was happy. But believe me. Y'all rock. I like Jimmy Buffett. I'll hang out. The reggae. Yeah. That's shit. See, it's intense. I know. I definitely like blare the speakers in the house as loud as it go. And I want someone who's like. How do the neighbors feel about this? They ever say anything? They have. They're like, you have quite the parties all the time. Sunday night. Yeah. It's like two in the morning. I'm like, rock. Two in the fucking morning. You crank the music. Yeah. But we supposed to have good insulation, right? I didn't know they could hear. The windows probably were like. The heated noise. You realize like you like live on another planet? Oh, God. You do. You live on another planet? Yes. There's a lot of things going for you.

49:20You don't need a boyfriend. You need a freaking reality show. Like something. Like when my work's done, I party hard. Like if like there was like a local producer. Do you party by yourself? Yes. You do? I love to clean and rock out. Stephanie, we should talk about doing a reality show. Yeah, I'm not joking. You're working on a reality show. You want to do a reality show? I go on vacation alone. Yeah. I know. You think people would watch? Yeah. 100%. They watch your Instagrams, right? Yeah. And you're in your, what are those other things that tick-tax? Tick-tax. Tick-tax. Listen to you. What were we calling? Stephanie's Cougar. No, I have fun every day. I'm very positive and happy in full life. Well, that, I know. She'd have to decide that. Yeah. Determine that. That's like my ex-husband, his world. He would love me to get remarried again, ditched the name. Like he wants the separation.

50:21He does. Because you were too, too. We get along great. We get along great. But I think you want the food. You were too intense for him, weren't you? No, we got along great. We still do. We're going to get to the next team at Brockport Smiles to the Billify team. Look, we've all had the thought. I should probably see a dentist. And then there's what I call a bombed-out mouth. Broken teeth, missing teeth, teeth worn down to nothing. A mouth filled with rotten decay. Sometimes you get dental work sold, it deserves a pension. If you're chewing everything on one side, because the other side of your mouth is basically been condemned, Brockport Smiles can help you out. Dr. Thaney and the team offer full mouth reconstruction, looking at your entire mouth, and creating a personalized plan to restore your teeth, to restore your bite, your health. And most importantly, comfort and confidence. You can finally laugh with your mouth open, and not feel judged.

51:22Crounds, implants, restorative care, invisalign, whatever your mouth actually needs. And here's a great thing. The consultation is free. Plus, Brockport Smiles has moved into their brand new home. It's at 133 States Street in Brockport. And on Thursday, September 17th, they're throwing a grand opening. Refreshments, giveaways, and billified's going to be there. That's right. We're going to be in a dentist office. Finally, and then we're having a big mouth is actually relevant. So, come meet Dr. Thaney and the team. Check out the new place, and come say hello to us from billified. Brockport Smiles, 133 States Street in Brockport, online at BrockportSmiles.com or call 585-637-6884. That's 585-637-688-84. It's Paul and America. Make it count. At the Ram Drive-In to Fall Sales event, make it powerful with our strongest Ram 1500 ever. Make it move with the Ram Heavy Duty

52:22with an available Cummins diesel. And make it go the distance with a 10-year or 100,000-mile powertrain limited warranty. And now for great deals during the Ram Drive-In to Fall Sales event. Exclude fully electric vehicles applied to 2026 model-year vehicles non-transferable visit moepart.com for complete details and a copy of the powertrain limited warranty. Come and visit registered trademarker of Cummins Inc. Ram and Hammy are registered trademarks of FCA-US LLC.