Beat Labor Day traffic jams

0:00Happy Labor Day! Now the bad news. In a few hours, everybody in America gets in the car at the exact same time. Your phone already knows how to beat them. I'm Kim Camando for WebRoot, WebRoot Essentials Antivirus Protect your devices without slowing you down. Right now, get 62% off at WebRoot.com slash Kim. The traffic people at Enrex called it, the crush hits between 2 and 5 this afternoon. Leave before noon and you skip it. Want proof for your road? Open Google Maps, type your destination, tap the three dots and choose, set to part or arrive time. Slide the clock and watch the drive change. The same road, different numbers. One stretch of Interstate 90 in Washington runs 121% longer tonight. And while you're in there, tap the gas stations icon. It shows the price at every station on your route. Apple Maps has the same timing trick too. So check it before dessert and roll home while everyone's in traffic. A million people read my free newsletter every single morning. You should too, get Kim.com.

1:01Your phone knows how to beat holiday traffic. But Dorian in Atlanta deals with traffic in the sky. And she called into the show with a very different kind of story. It may leave you wondering how far you would go to save your phone. Stick around for that story next. Here's something your body never tells you. Somewhere in your 20s, it quietly starts making less collagen. No memo, no warning. You notice it years later. Fine lines, thinning hair, nails that break, and filling a little less flexible on that morning walk. That's not getting older. That's collagen slipping away. But you can support your body naturally. I'm talking about high quality collagen from native path. It gives your body the building blocks it needs to support smoother looking skin, stronger nails and shinier hair. And some studies suggest collagen supplements may even help support bone health. This is not about turning back time. It's about feeling your best at any age and glowing like you mean it. Right now, my listeners get native path collagen for a fraction of the retail price.

2:03Plus free shipping and a free gift bundle. Go to getnativepath.com slash Kim. That's getnativepath.com slash Kim. Go now while you're thinking about it. Getnativepath.com slash Kim. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Individual results may vary. You know what? I read every single note that people send me at commando.com. Right. And there's a big button on the top that says ask him. And Dorian and Atlanta, Georgia, you sent me the craziest story. Welcome to the show. And I thought to myself, Dorian, you can't keep this to yourself and me. Well, I'd love to share with you. It was a very good day. Almost as good as today getting to speak to you. And my service dog is even here and he's pretty excited about it too. So I was a flight attendant. And before passengers get on the aircraft, we do a security check of everything in the plane.

3:09So we can make sure it's okay for you guys to come on board. And I was in the laboratory laughing with a friend about a story I'd heard in the UK. People usually lose their phones in the bathrooms. And I said to my friend, wow, what an idiot would take her phone to the bathroom. And as I'm opening up the bin, I hear a clock. And I'm like, what is that? And I look and it is my cell phone. My iPhone has fallen out of my blazer jacket into the toilet. Into the toilet with all the blue stuff? Well, yeah, yeah, that's what was in there then. Yeah, luckily we had just had it dumped. And so there was just blue geese in there. And so I was like, all of a sudden, well, I guess I'm the idiot. And I ran, running into the captain. I'm like, we can't board. And he's like, why was wrong? I said, my phone. My iPhone fell out of my blazer pocket. It's in the toilet. I need a mechanic to come on board and get it.

4:09Because they always come. And they have a special glove and they go into the toilet and they get the stuff out. And he's like, okay, because he knew that if he wanted me to be happy and nice to him going out the flight, that it would be the best idea to accommodate me. And in those days, the captain was still turned. So he could do whatever he wanted. And so they called him a mechanic. And of course the mechanic knew what was the problem. But he just wanted me to embarrass myself. However, this is my iPhone. It has all of my pictures on there. My cat, my food, things like that. It's very important to me. I wanted back. And he said, I'm not going in there. You know, that thing is a little death and disease. You don't understand. It was just dumped. It's empty. And he says, no, no. He says, he's death and disease and blood juice in there. And I says, I'm not going in. And I'm like, oh my god, what are you doing? So I quick grabbed the gloves from him. And I went into the lab and I got down on my knees and I shoved my arm in the toilet

5:12and I was feeling around for it. Well, my friend is in the galley. She is praying for me out loud. And I'm like, oh, just keep it coming. I need some help. And everybody's laughing behind me. I had now have a bunch of aircraft workers and things like that. And I'm like, I can't feel it. Well, I guess we better just let it go. I'm not letting go of my iPhone. I want my iPhone. I never dumped anything on my iPhone. So for my phone, did I dump into the toilet that was horrible. So I took the glove off. I pulled my arm out. Took the glove off and I shoved my arm back in there. And I felt around. I knew it was a little squishy, but not too bad. And I found my phone. I was like, oh, there is a guy. I know it was wonderful. And so I pulled my iPhone out. I probably was stuffed. And all I could think of is, what am I going to do now? Yeah. I didn't know if there was a cloud or anything was saved. I had my iPhone. I was happy. And so I took it to the galley and I cleaned it off.

6:12And I told them that they could board. We have you. And I worked the flight. And I'm just thinking during the whole flight, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? So I finally figured out, you know, these rights. To drive these things. Where was it going to get me rights? I don't carry a pack of rights. So I thought maybe we would get to the hotel. I could go to a supermarket or something. But by the time we got in, it was too late. So I took it to the room. And the cats in here told me, you should be scoring board. And you said, could you clean your hands a little bit? Because they kind of blew. So I had to move. That stuff really indelibly just kind of fixed that. They must use that for bank money or something when the thief says. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I need to stop right here. Yeah. Okay. Because you put your hand down that thing. You're going to use the phone. Well, I did use the phone later on. When I got to the hotel, I didn't have rights. So I used three hair jars.

7:12I got mine. I got the hotel one. And then I got my friend. And I used that for five hours. And watched Monica. But it was in a baggy. You know, I didn't want to really touch you. I mean, I already got into the toilet. The reality just didn't really kick in. You know what I mean? I just knew I needed my phone. I loved my phone. My phone is very important to me. So I just, and it works. It worked after the five hours. Did you think like, did you go to the doctor and get a tetanus shot or anything? Or 12 of them. What I did was my first stop after the flight was on the way home. I went to Lennox Mall and went to the Apple store. I told the guy that what had happened. And of course, he rushed me up to the top of the line. Because I was in my flight attendant uniform. And everybody loves the flight attendant, you know. I had all the geniuses there. They were all hysterical. No one was getting taken care of. And it was just all about me.

8:12I was very self-absorbed at that moment. I just wanted to fix it. Did you bring the phone with you when you went to the Apple store? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I thought it was not enough. Did any of the people working there handle it? I mean, did any of it? I was in a baggie. It was in a baggie then. Did you still have blue hands? No, oddly enough, I had the very tip of my fingers. I had long nails done. You could see a little bit of the dye. It was still in my skin. I wasn't going to scrub the skin off. But believe me, the phone with just my main concern, my health or anything like that was not a big deal. But the head just... Hold on. Hold on. I... Did you hear what you just said? That phone is very important. My health was not a concern. If you're dead, your phone does nothing for you. Well, my picture could be okay. And we would still have that. So my ears would have my pictures.

9:12Everybody had to have our photos. We wouldn't have her, but they'd have your photos spend the 99 cents and get the Apple Cloud. So you don't have to put your hand in a toilet. I didn't even think... I'm not a technical person. And I didn't know. I just wanted my phone. And I got my phone back. So they gave me a brand new iPhone. They said they normally didn't do that. They just usually give you a reserve of your phone. They didn't want your... They didn't want it back. They were just like... This is just not right. I would have sold it on Facebook. They know they took that phone. They took that phone. And they downloaded the stuff. Well, that was that one. That was very nice. That was very nice of them. I mean, I love my phone. But it's all backed up. Let it go. I couldn't do it. Never. You know, since we're on the topic, there's something else I can't. I could never get into a porta-potty. Just period?

10:13Well, because a friend of mine was at one of the golf tournaments. And she went to the bathroom in the porta-potty. And it fell over on her. That's nasty. And ever since then, I look at them like, I'm never going in one of those. Imagine if that was Dorian. She would just wipe it off and carry on with her day. No big deal. Go to the 18th hole. Yeah. She'd be all blue. She'd be telling everybody this story. Guess what? I'm covered in poop. I want to use my phone. I cannot believe she went in after her phone. Without a glove. She didn't care. I don't even think I could go in with a... Could you go in with a glove? I don't even like to go in there when I'm just using the facilities. Let alone, rooting around everywhere. She said she felt something squishy. Yeah. What do you think that was? The power of deduction is going to help you figure it out. Wow, Dorian. She really, really, really didn't want to lose that phone.

11:15Now, there is nothing. If my kid was in there, I would think for a second before I went in. I mean, obviously, I'd go save my child. But I'd pause for a second. That's so gross. It is so gross. So you know, next time you're on an airplane, you're going to think of Dorian. Yeah, I am. That's the PSA. Okay. Never take your phone in the toilet. Or in the porta potty. Or in the toilet. Have someone hold it for you? You never know what's going to happen. No, the porta potty fell on her. That's so nasty. Let's switch gears. You know, jokes? Yeah, no jokes for this one. No poop jokes. All right. Okay. You can admit it. No one's going to make fun of you. You love me. Yes. Say it out loud. I love Kim Commando. And you can get more of me in a few ways. Number one, join a million folks who get my newsletter every single day. It's free. It's called the current. And just sign up over at getkim.com.

12:16It's five star rated, by the way. That's getkim.com. And if you have any questions for me, or if you want to share a story that happened in your life, I love that. Just go to commando.com. I know there's so many commando's. K-O-M-A-N-D-O, commando.com. And then there's a big button on the top right. It says ask, Kim. I know. Funny how some things work in tech. Fill out that form, and I read every single note that you send me. So thanks for being here. Thanks for supporting everything that we do.