Authors' Playhouse - Dan Peters and Casey Jones

0:00With verbo care, help is always ready, before, during, and after your stay. We've planned for the plot twist, so support is always available. Because a great trip starts with peace of mind. Sock the Sherwin Williams Labor Day Sale and get 35% off paints and stains, August 28th through September 9th. Whether you're refreshing your interior or exterior, we've got the colors to bring your vision to life, and with delivery, getting everything to your door is easier than ever. Shop online to have it delivered, or visit your neighborhood Sherwin Williams store. Click the banner to learn more. Retail sales only, some exclusions apply, see store for details, delivery available on qualifying orders. Author's Playhouse

1:05Presenting Wolberstrand's hilarious story of a misled train, Dan Peters and Casey Jones. This story common knowledge among railroad men, no matter what run they're on, but if you go into a library and start looking for contemporary accounts of the famous lost train by the name of Casey Jones, why you will have to leave all through the papers of that year until July 29th, before you'll even run onto the name of Dan Peters, the engineer who teamed up with Casey Jones. Tonight, Author's Playhouse brings you the whole story, the real facts of what happened, as it presents Dan Peters and Casey Jones.

2:14Well, Casey old friend, how do you feel this morning, then? Oh, now, now, Mr. Jones, don't let him get you down. We aren't very big, but we're good. Good old cases. Yes, sir, when the name of slick new stream liners has aligned along the tracks in the Hebrew Rust natural grease, we'll still be working the milk run from Prudentia up to Mazeville and back again. That way's the natural, huh? That's right, that's right. Is, sir, Casey, you tell him. You go ahead, come on in, Ben. Morning, Dan. I don't know if steam up. Oh, yeah, got a good head of steam. We're around to go. Hey, Casey. Let's go, let's go. All right. All right. Now, how do you suppose that old goat keeps a holler in that every morning? He knows we ain't carried a passenger to Sixmas.

3:15The record he wants to be sure all of them empty milk cans get aboard. Yeah, that's right. Well, Casey, let's go. Bill, would you rather own a zebra or a giraffe? You'd rather own a mule. You ain't just a ground. Yeah, you know, I was looking at a map last night and I found a town named What Cheerioaay. Yeah. Now, what do you suppose what cheerioaay is like? I wouldn't ride the road, Dan. Hey, Bill. You suppose local mode ever gets jealous of automobiles? Mm-hmm. It's first Casey and me knows there ain't a hill in the valley with more than one side. Only better? And no offense to your hometown, but sometimes I get so darn tired of riding into Mazeville, Ohio. Mazeville, Ohio is one of the most interesting small towns in the United States of America.

4:19That's the biggest entry in the country? Yeah, that should have been. Now, Mazeville only had the smallest else in three months. You can't have everything, Dan. Yeah, no. But every day for 20 years, I have picked up three cans of milk that Ben Eppel's farm. Never two or four for 20 years. How much salary does it take? Hey, wouldn't it be fun to pull a string of sleepers over the painted dead end? Eh? Or listen to station names like La Coyne, Hanawanda instead of Mazeville, Ohio. Some more than. And for a solid man, you've got the unsolvenized ideas. I don't believe you drive the train off the tracks like an automobile, if you could steer it. Now, wouldn't you? Well, no, no. Casey and me have a sort of understanding. Hey, Bill. Can you keep secret? Or kind of a secret. Come here. You ever notice this here, lever before? Well, no, Dan. Never did. Eh, won't see anything like it on any other locomotive in the world.

5:19Rector up the shelf, and must spare time. With this little lever, me and Casey can hold pleasures. He's had a friend. Get the surgery, Bill. And don't you worry about if I could steer it. Oh, what are we waiting for? Dan, we're coming to the redrosion. Dan, that was that is milk out yet? Here, there's a way. How many cans? Three? Dan. There. She would have been. Bill, great coming. Bill, great coming. Bill, great coming. Oh. Ooh. Your move, conductor. Uh-huh. Right into your king road. Eh, Dan's pulling us curve a little fast, lady.

6:19What was that? I don't know. More than the loose rail less than a cow. Say, don't them wheels sound funny? They should do. They were willing to. They'd eat them hills on the wrong side of the train. Hey, Joe. Was that an audible view we just went around? It was. I have a sensation we're running on a connecrete road. Maybe we're chasing a rabbit. In 25 years on the railroad, I've never seen anything like it. Eh, Dan, a dream. Now listen, Joe. It simply isn't possible for a train to run on a connecrete road. You'll tell us that, Dan. You can wear a cover. Hello, boys. Hello, Dan. When do we get into Mazeville? We don't. Well, well, you're headed for, Dan. Don't, right? No, except it's nowhere that we've ever been for.

7:19We didn't go to run at night because we've always had to run the daytime. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but you fellas get off here. All set, Dan? Yes, sir, Dan. So far up in the go. As shall all boys. All right, Casey. Let's roll. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Pinch me. Pinch me. Gentlemen, I ask you to step in here because a rather odd circumstance has come to my attention of which I thought you would wish to be informed. As traffic manager of the TV in New Railroad, I greatly prefer to settle such small details as may come up from day

8:23today in my own. As president of this line, I greatly dislike to have my time wasted. Now, what is this small detail? Well, Mr. Cornell, gentlemen, it seems that one of our locomotives and its train of cars, consisting of one small coal car and one combination coach and baggage car has been misplaced. Misplaced? That is to say, the cost on its run between Maysville and Prudentio Highell. Lost? Yes, sir. Such appears to be the case. It went out on its regular run yesterday morning, made one stop to pick up three cans of milk and it's not been seen since. Well, that's just dandy. The train isn't on the tracks or beside the tracks. They rode the whole line. I read a book once about a town that waited all day for a milk train and they found that the tracks ended at the edge of town. All other civilizations had disappeared. The train never did come in. What happened, Mr. Forbes? The milk spoiled. There was a beautiful red haired widow in the story. Now, that's a big hill. Please, Mr. Forbes, let's get down to cases.

9:27My own personal conclusion is that the train must have been filled, or that is to say stolen by its crew. But who in top it? What engineer has managed to do that? Get me a complete report from the personnel department. A part in me, Mr. Cornell, but I already have a complete report from our file. You're let's have it. What are you waiting for? The engineer is one Dan Peters. His record is neat and favorable. He has been engineer on the Boone Valley Spurline for 20 years. For 20 years, he has had a well-kept timetable. He was believed by the panel department to be meek and gentle, completely dependable, but with no imagination. In short, if you saw a room full of quiet little men, Dan Peters would be the quietest and the littlest. Doesn't seem like the type to run off with a locomotive. I think the train is just plain lost. Mr. Vice President, you can lose a crowbar. You can lose a breakman. You can even lose an elephant. But you can't lose a train.

10:30Hello. I'm just from Ohio. Someone who insists on talking to you, Mr. Cornell. From Ohio? Put them on. Hello. Is this President Cornell? Yes. I've been trying to get your day, Mr. Cornell. I'm calling from the jail, down here. Now, just a minute. Who in top of it are you anyway? I'm Will Hanley, conductor on the Boone Valley Spurline. Well, where's my train? That's just what I was going to tell you, Mr. Cornell. Dan Peters put me in the breakman off about 12 miles out of May's bill on number 20. Highway number 20? Yes, sir. Last I seen the train, Dan, and Blackville the fireman was high-balled down number 20 to the west. Why, did you miss it? Did I? What? What? You, Mr. Cornell, sir. What I called about is, when we told the folks in town what happened, the constable run us in for me and drunken disorderly. And me in the breakman. And then they went and found us a dollar a piece and cost, which comes to $39.20, and we only got $3.00 between us.

11:30So, won't you please do something, Mr. Cornell? No, I'm sorry, my good man, but you'd better sober up before you go calling people long distance. And don't go around talking about this train business either, or people who think you're crazy. Goodbye. But, Mr. Cornell, what do my wife say? Goodbye. Well, gentlemen, it's true that darn train is loose somewhere roaming the highways. I've never believed it possible. I read a book, one. You, Mr. Forbes. Mr. Executive Vice President. You seem to have some ideas about this matter. Suppose you go out and find that train. Me? You. After as many years as you've worked with trains that knew where they were going, you ought to find it refreshing to deal with one that doesn't know where it's going. The worst of it is we don't dare go out and get the police and really look for that train. Because if we ever admit we've lost a train, they'll never quit laughing at us. Well, what are you waiting for?

12:30Get out of here and find it. Find that train. It was a little gray hair man with red cheeks, Dr. E. Comed to the door and asked if he could park in the barnyard that day since he traveled only at night. I charged him too little bit. A minute later I looked out and this old train pulled up next to the barn. Two of them, man, was an overall one in a business suit. And they sat there cooking their breakfast on the engine's boiler. I even gave him some cream for their coffee. I tell you, I'm not crazy. When they pulled out he told to me. It said, thank you, man. Thank you, man. Maybe I was taking a little more than my share of the road. These big semi-jobges are at the handle. Anyways, I hear the whistle, see. And his train comes over the hill. I pull it over to my side quick, but he swipes off my fender and runs me right off the road.

13:34I can see the engineer laughing at me as he goes by. I tell you, I was not drunk. I'm not drunk. I'm not drunk. When I wish I was smiling, sure the world seems bright and gay. In the middle of the night. And they can't do that on this highway. One headlight and you'll be the first victim of the night. Glory, it reaches a bright end to the blind man. And he ought to see me signal well enough. Hey, you will pull over there. What do you think you are to touch the living things? Let go! By the ghost of St. Patrick's and locomotive. Well, the evening officer, what time are you mind? Good evening, sir.

14:35Would that be a locomotive you're driving? It is, sure enough. That's what I thought. Now, see here, you watch the meaning of this. Meaning the plot officer. We aren't breaking any laws. And I know of it. Or, I know, did you ever hear the law require a motor vehicle to use two headlights? Oh, sure, that's what's bothering you. Mr. Ford! Mr. Ford is the executive vice president of the TV and you. He knows all about it, such as you. Yes, what is it, then? Mr. Ford is the officer here, seems to think that we ought to be carrying two headlights. It's still all covered in all motor vehicles. And if you were the devil himself driving the fiery chariot, and I caught him, he's only one headlighted, give you a ticket now here. Ah, but my good man, we are not a motor vehicle. As a locomotive, we fit properly under the category of steaming. There, you see. Yes, sir, I see your boat's very irregular. If you'd care to take the time, I can demonstrate. Take it into account the law of optics in several other factors, that we are better lighted than a fleet of 36 and a half automobile. Is that, and 4,073 and 80 11 percent better lighted than your motorcycle?

15:40Which is a motor vehicle? Who's that the two people you care to step into the cab for a moment? I'll get a pencil and paper and demonstrate how the people are... No, no, never mind, I'll take your words with sir. Oh, thank you. Yes, don't mention it, sir. By the way, I suppose you've got your driver's license. Oh, yes, locomotive engineer, license, operate under the laws of all states of the USA. See? Yes, sir. Oh, thanks, it's just a formality, you know. Oh, sure, understand. Well, I guess we'll be rolling. It's been nice seeing you, officer. Oh, and here's that ticket you gave me, eh. Don't look like we'll be needing it. Oh, sure, sure. Eh, goodbye. All right, now, Mr. Forbes. Boy! How was that, damn? Eh, you're doing fine, Mr. Forbes. Only lean a little more on the ord, like this. Boy! So long, wet, but... So long, on, wet, but... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

16:44You already beat us laughing at me! Maybe it's the drug! From now on, I'm a changed man! Mr. Cornell, here's a postcard the girl asked me to give you when you came in. Postcard? Eh. Eh, Mammoth Cave, Kentucky. Have found you know what? Dan and I and Bill having fine time. Wish you were here. Sign Forbes. Why that... Where's my hat? Listen, if I'm not back in ten days, send the police after the confounded train.

17:47So that's my hat, Riffles. Well, I've always had the hacker in this place. But it's a big splash of water. Your beach or anything was going wrong. Well, I should think so. Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go. Over in the calendar, of course. In case you could make the grade, I always did want to see a foreign country. Feed them some cold. Bill, for sure, Dan. Well, there's a bridge. You think Casey can make it? Eh, we'll make it, don't you worry. Come on, Casey old friend. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. We can make it. We can make it. We can make it. Good boy! Hey, look, Riffles, you do represent all the rich. Well, go worry me. I'm not going to tell the maverick to explain. Very likely, we should collect the toll. Better hold it up, Dan. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. They did it. Good boy, Casey. Now, this is my treat. I want to pay the toll. Hey, what do you think you're going to that thing?

18:48Well, I just want to cross your bridge like anyone else. My head's pretty new bridge, isn't it? Let me see now. Well, what does that sign say 25 cents for a motor vehicle and driver? 5 cents a piece for each additional passenger. That makes it total of 35 cents, right? Here you are, sir. 35 cents even. Say, look here now, that ain't right. And the rules say 25 cents for a motor vehicle. But you've got there, looks more like a train. If you say, looks like a train, never mind, Casey. Don't let them hurt your feelings. We aren't very big, but we're good, aren't we, Casey? Thank you, Dan. Say, you must be Dan Peters himself. And this is Casey. Jumping-y, hospice. Why you're famous all over the United States, Mr. Peters? Say, people have been looking for you all over the country. Ever since the story came out in the papers, Ben Casey. But I expected something bigger. The same thing with Casey in the papers. People have been saying you were seen last night down Alabama.

19:48Look here, let's settle this little financial transaction. 35 cents, all right? Gosh, I sure like to let Casey throw. But until this bridge you're dedicated, he can't cross or nobody else. This here is the brand new international bridge. And the day ain't going to be dedicated to this afternoon. What kind of a bridge you say this was? It's called the International Bridge. It's a sort of memorial to international peace and friendship. So it's going to be dedicated to this afternoon by a lot of big shots. Oh, so that's why they got old red, white, and blue ribbons, eh? Well, forms look like we got here just in the meantime. Here, this here is a big thing. A memorial to international peace and friendship. Hey, what do you say if we just pull up by these here ribbons and wait to see this here dedicated? Right, oh, Dan. Well, Casey would like to be in on a big affair like this. Dan, I don't know much about dedication, but it sure is time for break. Well, coffee's already perking to the boiler. Eh, Mr. Guide, would you care to join this?

20:48I'm sure to be on it, Mr. Peter. Mr. Forbes, will you pour? We'll drink the toast to this here, pretty new bridge and the international peace. Right, Casey Oldboy? Fair to right, Dan! And so, in the absence of the Secretary of War, I am happy to have the privilege of coming here today to participate in this momentous occasion, the dedication of the international bridge. A momentous occasion, I say, for this is more than the dedication of a great bridge, it is a symbol, a memorial to international peace and friendship between the people of two countries. We want Dan Peter!

21:48We want Dan Peter! Where is this, Dan Peter? I'm right here, Governor! Mr. Peter, you've got to speak to these people. Me? Oh, I can't make a speech, Mr. Governor! Oh, listen to that crowd! Mr. Peter, is this way? No, no! We are fortunate to have him with us today. Mr. Dan Peter is at the TV and you railroad and other points who will now speak to you. Mr. Peter! Well, well, well folks! I ain't any good at speeches. Only thing I can say is, Casey and me have seen a lot of beautiful things since we've been on our own, but nothing that can hold a candle that is here wonderful new bridge. That's all, and I thank you.

22:48Well, Mr. Peter, I get to you and Casey and don't know about everything now. Well, we've been around just two things more we'd like to see, Azibra and President Frank Cornell of the TV and you. Oh! Hey, I am Dan Peter! Who was I Dan? Who was I? Hello, Joe! I quite Cornell! It is? It is, Frank Cornell. Mr. Peter's, I wanted to meet you bad. President Frank Cornell! Well, I'm sure pleased to make your acquaintance. But I thought you would be bigger. I thought you'd be 20 feet tall. Mr. President, I want to tell you that I'm sorry I didn't keep the schedule. Dan, I can't forgive you for not keeping the schedule. But what I can't forgive, I can sometimes forget. I'm going to forget what you didn't do and remember what you did to. Mr. Peter's, if you can move your train enough so we can get the official oven veal past it, we want you to cut the ribbon and ride over the bridge with us in the first car. If you say, on a mobile, we'll ride over in Casey.

23:50Let me room in the coaching baggage car for all of you. That's fine. But there's one favorite I'd like to ask. Who I said? Could I ride up in the cab? I always wanted to do that. Ever since I was a boy. Well, Casey would feel right proud to have a real governor right up there in the cab with him. And you too, President Cornell, if you'll do it, sonny. Well, I'd say in the honors all mine. And I really mean that. Well, fine. What are we waiting for? Come on, governor. You go around up the rest of the officials. Earn them at the baggage car. Let's get a rule. Who write, Mr. Peter's? I'll hurry. Mr. Cornell, this is Casey. Casey, I want you to meet our president, Frank Cornell. The whole team is Mr. Cornell. Come aboard. What? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, thank you. Step right up to Cornell. Oh, look out, you do all over Greece. Oh, thanks, thank you. And the places with the green. President Cornell, I reckon you know Mr. Ford.

24:51Yes. Well, Ford, I see you found the train. Yes, I did, sir, but it seems as if Casey wasn't quite ready to go home. Is there only Mr. Peter's ready to go now? All right, all set, governor. But wait a minute. That was a mighty poor kind of a speech, I made that. Could you reach out there and get that microphone over to me from the platform? I got something else I want to say. This here is more than just a bridge. It's a kind of stand for something. It seems like some of the out at least have mentioned it. Yes, now here you are, Mr. Peter. Oh, thank you, kind of sir. Folks? Oh, they tell me that this is a peace bridge. Peace is when you don't have to be afraid when all the tough guys keep on their side of the road. That's what we call law and order, Arekken. And when you've got that, you've got freedom for the little guys who aren't going to hurt nobody.

25:55Freedom to look at Niagara Falls and get to know somebody and what highway. And when you get to know somebody pretty soon, you find somebody you can trust. Like the US and Canada. And because the US trusts Canada, we got this here rich. And the mighty pretty one it is. And I think. All right, Mr. Governor, we're both. May I say all aboard? Why, yeah, go ahead. Now. All aboard. We have to pay for your own life. Here they go. Mr. Cardan sir, there's the whistle cord. Will you do the opposite? We have to go Canada. Here we go.

27:06Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Man, you've done a great thing for the railroads. You've been worth thousands of dollars in advertising. The question is, what do you want to do now? Oh, just Mr. Cornel, I'm just engineer. If we give you a new 16-coast diesel streamliner, you can get 20,000 applications for your first trip. We'll pass an act of Congress. You can go where you want to. Well, no, Mr. President, no. You see, Casey has a soul. You can talk to him. You can't talk to the tiny new engines. All you can do is feed the oil in Greece. I don't know whether souls grow or you build them in.

28:09Well, I suspect they grow. But you can't drive Casey anymore. His boiler sags like an old horse's back, and every wheel is worn down below the planches. He's just plain worn out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Casey's old and tired. So am I. If I'm at pension age, and I suspect we ought to retire. You know, it's a funny thing. As long as Casey and me were tied to the milk run, we all has had a hacker to see the rest of the world. But now that we've seen it, I kind of feel there ain't no nicer place to be anywhere. Then in the shade of that big ol' elm that stands in the square, it lays there. What do you think, Casey? Let's go home. Let's go home.

29:23You have just heard Wilbur Shrem story. Dan Peters and Casey Jones adapted for author's playhouse by Carl and Marjorie Weber and directed by Frank Papp. Cliff Subeir was heard as Dan Peters. The physical score was composed and conducted by Dr. Roy Shield. The special sound effects on this program were heard through the cooperation of Wright Sunovox incorporated. Next week, same time, same station, author's playhouse will be Louis Bramfield's story of Paris under the Nazi terror until the day break. Author's playhouse came to you from Chicago. This is the National Broadcasting Company.