[AUDIO] Reflections On A Nomadic Journey - England to Hong Kong (2017 - 2018)

0:0016th of February, 2019, the time, 14.51pm, what I am about to share with you is a personal journey, also a spiritual journey that I undertook, starting in late 2017 all the way until mid 2018. A journey which took me from Europe all the way to Asia. Now I have to be honest with you right now. The journey itself was a big event in my life and the magnitude of the journey, how it affected me emotionally, how it changed me psychologically, and how it developed me spiritually. It was so much to digest that even after almost one year later it's

1:06still very hard for me to find the words to encapsulate what I went through and to be honest this is one of the journeys in my life that I did not want to speak about to others because it was purely for me. But upon requests from my close friends all around the world who had supported me and knew I was determined to to to to make this journey they asked me to record just for posterity and so here it is. And I had refrained from recording my thoughts on this nomanic journey, the time that it finished because I know I would be too passionate and not objective enough to speak on the things I wish to speak on

2:12today. And so you could say it took me one year to really digest this and it took me one year to be able to find the correct mindset and attitude to speak on this subject. Before I begin I want to say that I'm only doing this in the hopes that you may help someone out there who may be feeling or have felt how I had felt before and during my journey. So without further ado who it is? Have you ever felt that the world wanted nothing to do with you? Have you ever felt this way before my friend? That no matter what you did, no matter how hard you tried it almost seemed as the world did not want your trace. This was me and my mindset in

3:14early 2017. In that time of my life things were not going things were going downhill. Every creative endeavour that I pursued failed. Every artistic endeavour I pursued not only cost me money but failed miserably. I ran myself to the ground because old habits died hard. I could not pick myself back up and I found myself vegetating in the environment where I was at and at that time I was in England. It's 27 year old me. Things in my life were just falling apart financially I was not stable.

4:16Psychologically I want to think that I was sane emotionally. I'm a pretty cool guy so nothing phases me but as I look around me all I saw was things tumbling in my life and I told myself I could not continue like this. Now even though today I'm speaking about the journey that took me from Europe to Asia. The actual prelude to this journey happened in early 2017. I have been travelling all my life ever since I was young, very young and the road is the only constant thing for me. It's very hard for me to tell you this and explain but I really believe that where you are born and brought up this

5:19will affect you so very much in life and as for me in my very young and young days I was brought up on the road constantly travelling and moving. So travelling has always been at once bitter and sweet for me, my medicine. Bitter because you learn some very harsh lessons whilst on the road. Sweet because the rewards that you gain though maybe intangible are very unique and priceless. At that time when the world was crumbling around me my only cure was to hit the road again and so that's why I did. Early 2017 I decided to try my hand hitchhiking because I had one dream in my mind. I just wanted to see Hong Kong again.

6:24I had been away from Hong Kong at that time for almost five years, living around Europe, travelling, performing, doing things. I felt that I had lost my route as a Chinese man, as a Hong Kong man. And I thought to myself hey you know if things are going so bad right now well what problem is it for me to hit the road and try to make myself better and perhaps make my life better. So early 2017 I sold most of my possessions. I gave away my magic library. Most of my books I downsized to the bear essentials. I gathered my gear, hoping that with 20 years of travelling experience under my belt I was ready for my first ever hitchhiking journey across at least Europe.

7:25My plan was to cross Europe and to work and to gain experiences. For that I needed gear and so that's what I gathered. I packed my bags and I hit the road. My first destination was Belgium because previously I had already been to Belgium and I actually worked on a farm in Belgium in 2016. In a region called Zatagame. But anyway my first journey took me to Belgium which I thought was a pretty safe place and a pretty logical place for me to start and hitchhike east across Europe. One thing I knew for a start was that I had too much gear and the weight was weighing me down.

8:26But excited for the journey ahead of me. I landed in Brussels and it took me two days, two days trying to get out of Brussels and in those two days it was very frustrating because I had never hitchhiked before in my life. Weary, tired, hungry, perhaps a little angry as well at myself in life. I went back to the Brussels North Station which if you have ever been is a place where most public transports like buses and trains and coaches go to and from Brussels internationally and locally. But one thing I did not know that Brussels was very afflicted at that time by poverty with poverty and there was a lot of refugees from places like Morocco, Syria, Africa, all these other

9:29places and they gathered at the North Station and if I were to glance tell you how many refugees they were there must have been at least a hundred who had no homes and here I was mingling and blending in with these sticking out like a sore thumb with my gear, my backpack, my rucksack and my life inside those bags, my performing gear, my traveling gear, everything that meant anything to me that I could not sell or give away. So in the evening after those two days still in Brussels tired, weary, I decided to go to this North Station and catch a breath, maybe sleep a little. The refugees were kind enough to shelter me in and they showed me the place where

10:32I could queue up and line up for food and it seemed to me that the local police force and the military had food stores and stands set up for the peoples, soup kitchens, things of that nature and putting my pride away, I joined the queue and I received my food, went back to the North Station which has two floors and we everyone sat on the second floor which is part train station part more on the floor and we began eating and it was very comfortable for me because not only was it very new but it just seemed right to me that this is what my life will be until I reach my destination on the other side of the world. After the food my exhaustion hit me and so I laid my things on the

11:34floor and I thought I'd just catch some shit I maybe just rest my eyes for a minute or two. Soon I found my eyes closed and I drifted off but then suddenly my eyes opened and it seemed to me that I had slept for a minute but I was told but I had slept for five, ten minutes but when they looked around me things looked the same other than one thing all my possessions were gone other than my boots and a Buddhist book that I had said everything was gone, my gear and my life. I was stunned for a moment and then I realized I must have been rubbed whilst I was asleep. So frantically I got up and started asking around,

12:36asking around, asking around and a lot of the refugees were very, very helpful in locating the security guards and checking CCTV camera footage and it turns out that I was rubbed by three Arabs who had their eye on me. The first moment I entered the stage and at that time it was very devastating for me because my life that I had in those bags were gone and the only question in my mind that kept reoccurring was what am I going to do? I don't have any money all I have is if I remember correctly at that time 30 pounds at least I had my documents well hidden in my clothing so everything is not lost but I then learnt my biggest lesson of all that if you were to go on this journey you really

13:43need to be ready and even though I had gathered my gear I had set off on the journey and set foot in another land and even though I was determined to go on the journey life showed me that I was still not ready. Eventually I hitchhiked my first ride back to the UK on a Euro bus, this is called Eurostar, one of those buses that goes from London to to Pizzila Amsterdam, Belgium, France, I managed to hitchhike a bus back to London which took around eight hours and during those eight hours I began to feel relieved that life took the burden that I had in my backpack and and and Rucksack from me because then I really saw what life was trying to tell me

14:46and it was that you did not need any of those things because all those things that I had those possessions were only gathered in vanity in the hopes that it will become my protection on the road and that whilst traveling on this road there's nothing there is no resource more worthy other than personal will. Material possessions, gear, even perhaps money is of unimportant compared to will and did I have it, I didn't and life showed me that I did not. And so with my head bit down and humbled I made my way back to London then back to my hometown Birmingham. Still things were tumbling around me and I could not bring myself to stay in one

15:47place anymore and so I went off on the road once more but this time with a plan. Oh my dream was still to go to Asia, still to see Hong Kong, I would still travel across Europe to get there. I did not care at that time, this was the beginning of mid-2017. A year or two prior to that 2015 I had began volunteering in a Buddhist cafe in the English countryside where I learnt and met many traveling friends and volunteers and I learnt the art of coffee making using a platform called HelpX that I became a member of and I thought to myself, well returning back to the UK to London to my hometown, if I still wanted to go on this journey

16:49I needed to not go blindly and to have a plan so my first destination was back to this Buddhist cafe in the hopes that they would take me in. In exchange I would work for them, I would work and I would wait until the right moment and quite gladly they accepted me again and so I was there in the English countryside working and living in the complex, meeting friends, developing and soothing out the failure that I had just encountered in Brussels. Volunteering in this Buddhist cafe, I stayed there for five months, rebuilding myself, learning the art of coffee making and being humble, watching the seasons go and throughout that time my failure in Brussels was like a shadow to me, very close by.

17:58But I was determined because of the people that I met there at the cafe, gave me hope and encouraged me to continue on my journey. Oh you may ask me what type of things did I have, what material possessions did I have then whilst working in that cafe, well let me tell you straight, I was still pretty broke at that time, all I had to my name was a small backpack, very small backpack and in it was my life. A few sets of clothes, my performing gear, packs of playing cards, only the bare essentials. Money wise, I had about 50 pounds and I was able to not spend any of that money whilst working at that cafe. Fast forward a few months, my volunteering at that cafe would come to an end after

19:03so long a period, after meeting, I would say one group of the closest friends that I had ever had the privilege of meeting in my life. And so leaving the UK my first destination was Norway. And my original plan was this, to hitchhike from Norway all across Europe to Turkey and then from Turkey, if I could hitchhike across places like Kazakhstan towards Asia, that was my original plan. And even though that journey was so far ahead in my mind, I could see it so clearly, every single night when I went to sleep, that vision of seeing Hong Kong again was so strong, it almost sent me crazy, but the fire was strong.

20:05Why did I go to Norway of all places during winter? Well, let's just say, when you make decisions based on emotion, you can get led to some crazy places. But lucky for me, once I reached Norway, I found myself another volunteering place that I could work, and this time I was working in a place called Lillihama, two hours away from Oslo on a mountain range called Hornshoek, and I was working in a hotel, and I worked there for a month until I really couldn't stand it anymore, and then I began hitchhiking myself across Scandinavia, down to Denmark, where I worked again in another volunteering place this time for a school, where I found myself becoming a kitchen cleaner and dishwasher and breakfast preparer.

21:08Now, I am fast forwarding some parts of this journey to save time, because like I told you, this, a lot of the journey that I undertook is very personal, and it's very hard for me to explain to you in each and every detail of what I went through, but I want to tell you this, of the places that I had gone to, and the friends that I had met, and the skills that I had undertaken and learnt, it was priceless to me, because it gave me confidence day by day that, hey, I could survive on the road, I could actually do it if I put my mind to it, but in my heart I was still restless because of the journey that I said I will take and go on, and you see for me, when I make a decision, you better kill me, if not, I will see this decision to the end. At that time, working in Scandinavia, I was very sick and tired of the cold, now if you

22:15have never experienced winter in Scandinavia, my god, now in the UK, when I see snow and winter, this is nothing, no factor at all, because in my mind I had seen and went through the deepest of winters in Scandinavia, so working in Denmark, my biggest problem was that I needed to get out of Scandinavia, lucky for me I had found a ride that could take me from Denmark all the way to Berlin, and that this took me at least 10 hours or 12 hour car ride crossing the ferry and soon, I found myself in Berlin, Germany, and it was there that I had invigorated confidence that I could actually make my hitchhiking journey east, and so for days and weeks and months I was

23:19traveling east without any money in my pocket other than my 50 pounds, without any possessions other than the clothes on my back, and the 15kG backpack, I was braving the elements, and let me tell you one thing, it's strange because you can learn a lot about a city once you've been there for a full 24 hours, now a lot of people when they travel, they go to a city and they land and they land and they actually only spend half a day at the city, and the next half of the day they sleep, but once you spend 24 full hours in one place in one city, you learn so much, and whilst I was beginning to hitchhike east, it occurred to me that things are so strange, it was very hard for me to pinpoint and put to words what it was, but I felt immensely lonely,

24:28and winter would do that especially to you, as well as traveling on your own, so I made myself become capable of dealing with this loneliness while on the road, and it wasn't until I reached Czech Republic by accident, it was then where it really hit me that what people call normal is very not normal, and the way I travel the places I go really shows me and it sends me into a place where I can observe and learn the human nature, and also the rhythm and the cadence of this modern world, still in the winter, finding myself accidentally landing in Prague, cold again, tired, exhausted, having no look at all hitchhiking out of Prague, I had to

25:35recuperate, so for the first time in eight months I spent money, I bought a hostel room, and I slept for one day, one full day, and as I laid my head down on that pillow, images started to flash into my mind, and I saw Hong Kong again, and the fire was still strong, but I didn't know if I could reach Hong Kong, you know? Yes, I made myself fly to Norway, and I made my way down, hitchhiking across Scandinavia, towards Belgium, Berlin, I don't know why I keep saying Belgium, maybe the emotional scars or strung is still with me, even though I hitchhiked all this way, even though I felt I had confidence, did I really believe that I had confidence?

26:37In the hostel room, I told myself I should have, but I don't feel it, because I know by the next day I'll be back out there on the road again, either I'll be sleeping on the streets, trying to hitch a ride, either I'll be sleeping in some nature somewhere along the highway, or resting again at 24 hour rest station, speaking to laundry drivers hoping to catch a ride at 5am in the morning, and in that hostel room I told myself God dang, I must find a way to pass by winter, otherwise I'll be frozen to death by the time I come to my senses, you know? So I charged my phone, pulled out Google Maps, and I saw the country next to the Czech Republic,

27:38and I said to myself that is the place I need to go, I don't know why, but I told myself and it was a right feeling that I needed to go to Austria, specifically Vienna, what was I going to do in Vienna? I don't know, but from what I heard from travelers, at that time during February March that Austria was warm, and I needed a bit of sun, because imagine this man, you've been in Scandinavia for about a month or two, and then you landed yourself in Berlin and it's still cold, all you had gone through was the cold, you need a bit of sun. So I hitched a ride to Vienna and I made it in one day. Once I got to Vienna, I pulled out Google Maps, with that I planned in my mind, I pulled out Google Maps, and I looked for the nearest hostel,

28:41and I said myself, if I find one, I'm going to go up to this hostel and I'm going to ask for work, and I found one, and I made my way. Turns out I was pretty close, the guy who dropped me off in Vienna, dropped me off at a place called Westbahnhof, which is a region very central in Vienna. At 8pm, I landed in Westbahnhof, made my way to this hostel, walked up to the counter and I said, my man, because the person who was on the counter was a guy, I said, my man, I'm a volunteer and I'm looking for work. Do you have any work here at this hostel? And the guy looked at me, this crazy Chinese dude, and if you can imagine traveling all these months sleeping on the road, and not using properly and raggedy clothes, not raggedy clothes, but you know what I mean,

29:43I'm not fresh, I got that edge to me. He looked at me, he must have looked at me crazy, but he said, hang on, let me call my manager. So he picks up the phone and says, hey, there's a guy who just came to the hostel and he's looking for work, and then he turns to me, can you start tomorrow? I said, my man, I can start right now, as long as you give me a room, because the deal is done, you shall start tomorrow. I thought to myself, what? This actually worked. I was so happy then, you know, and the guy told me, here's the key to your room, you're going to be sharing rooms, go to sleep, take a shower, and your work begins tomorrow morning, and I said, okay, and as I walked to my room, I could not believe what just happened. Now I'm telling you this because not only was that part of my journey a focal point,

30:47a turning point, but it is a demonstration, an indirect demonstration of what you can create, once you put your mind to what it is you wanted to create, and if you are listening to me, and perhaps you don't have confidence in in rebuilding or creating something for your life, let's not talk about anything grand, let's just talk about something for your life. I just want to tell you, as long as you believe, and let nothing stand in your way, you can make it happen, and you don't have to have traveled and gone through the same journey as me, just as long as you believe that you can, God damn it, you can. And as I sat in the hostel room with my key in this warm room with access to a shower,

31:53I placed the wash my clothes, and most importantly, company, it was very hard for me to contain myself and and looking at the inventory that I had, I told myself if I were to get myself to Asia, I cannot continue like this. And so the next morning came, I began my work at this hostel, serving breakfast every morning, the deal was pretty sweet, what I had to do was work for four hours a day, and the rest of the day I had free, and I did this for a few weeks until I was able to speak to the owner of the hostel. Now I will keep the hostel anonymous because I would like to protect my family there, the people that became my family that took me in and the friends that I met,

32:58and if you are listening, I miss you all, and you saved me, you saved me and you didn't even know, and you didn't have to say yes to me, you could have said no, go to the next hostel, what you said yes and because of that you saved me. So, I got to speak to the manager and I said to him my friend, here's my story, and I told him my full story where I had come from, what I had done, and where I'm going to go, and I told him, look man, I really need to earn some money for my travels and I will do anything for you, just give me a chance, and the guy looked at me, he thought I was crazy, he thought this guy, this guy is crazy, this guy is crazy, but I gave him a chance, that's what he said to me, I'll give you a chance, can you bartend? I said well, when I was very young, when I was about 18, I worked at this pub,

34:05in my hometown for about three months until I got fired, he goes what did you get fired, I said because I was talking too much, and I didn't do work and the guy was laughed, and he said well, we have a bar, and if you can pour beer, you can serve, I said my man, I can pour more than one beer, he says can you make a cocktail, I said if you give me a list, give you give me a recipe book, I can make a cocktail, and so there I was, I scored a job, I paid job, as well as working my volunteer shift, so then as well as working for four hours day, I had another eight hours shift, which was cool, you know, I earned some badass tips, badass tips, my friend, and I ended up staying in Vienna for one month, and I earned some good badass money, I'm telling you, it was a focal point in that journey, but even though things were going so well for me at that time, something really hit me again, and it was the seed of what I experienced while I was in Berlin,

35:13and Czech Republic, and that was the loneliness of the road, and the unnaturalness of what we call natural, the man made world I would say, now bearing in mind, I had a lot of time exploring Vienna and being with the Viennese people, and in Europe I would say culturally Vienna is a vibrant place, very well established, economically people are affluence, people's mindset and the lifestyle is sweet, but it is very easy to be trapped by this matrix and I saw for the first time in my life, physically and tangibly, the matrix, let me try and put it into words if I can,

36:23there's a lot of things that make us numb, especially this modern life that we live, that we work so hard for, and as I was traversing Vienna, I too would spend times in cafes, restaurants, parks, and blending in with the Viennese and the culture, but I would ask myself, what for, what purpose, other than to numb my senses, because now I am too comfortable to realise that I am working for, for what? Now I know what I was working for, but I tried to put myself in the shoes of a modern person, why, why is it that I must live this way? Is it happy to live this way? Now I come from a first world country, I should be proud of what I have had and the privileges that I have had

37:32at my disposal, but it was then in Vienna when I asked myself, is this right? And it was then when I realised what I was searching for this whole time, and this thing was truth, my truth. Now let me tell you, if you travel like me and if you have committed yourself to the normalic life, the things which people call natural become very unnatural for you, at least for me. Restaurants, cafes, theatres, concerts, parties, shows, these give you a temporary sense

38:37of welcomeness and home. In actual fact, you are paying to be serviced and to be treated like a kin. But I will tell you this, once you have no money, once you have no station, they don't want anything to do with you. But why do people like going out to these outings and these places? Because it gives them a sense of feeling and pride and it soothes their ego. And this is the thing that numbs you. This is the thing that almost numbed me being in Vienna. And my spirit, the spirit of magic within me pushed back and I saw my truth. I don't want any of this. And as I realised these feelings, it felt like as the days went on in Vienna as I

39:44began to accumulate a good amount of money and I began to rebuild myself. My life force felt like it was being snuffed out. And if you have ever felt this way, let me tell you one thing, it's hard to get rid of, hard to get rid of. And so, after one month of blending in, I couldn't take it anymore and so I began hitching east again. But before I left, I had one last thing to do whilst in Vienna. And if I was a normal person, I wouldn't have needed to do this but because I had also committed my life to the art of prestige, vegetation and magic. I had to visit the grave of Johann Nebemokovsinser.

40:44If you don't know who he is, that's fine. You'll come to know him. But for those who know, you know. And I found myself at his gravestone on the grey, rainy Vienna day. And it was strange because standing at a gravestone of a dead man gave me more power and more feeling of home than anything else I had encountered and experienced whilst being on the road. It felt right to me. And I knew that all the different roles that Jin Lee was playing all these years was just like putting on new clothing and wearing a new mask and that where I truly belong and where my spirit truly thrives is in magic. Thank you, Professor, for helping me realise

41:52where I was and what I had needed to do. And I hope you liked my performance of the Masado Rings. It is a modern version, a 21st century reinvention of the classic linking rings. I mean, I don't know if back in the 18th century or the 17th century, the linking rings were so vibrant. Well, I hope you found it beautiful. Well, I'm still learning. So passing Croatia, Serbia, Bulgaria, sleeping in the wild, sleeping on highways, the motorways, petrol stations, abandoned places, I eventually got myself to Istanbul, hitchhiking to Istanbul. And again, if you have ever been to a place for a full 24 hours, you would learn to solve very much

42:54about that place. And I had thought up until that time after reaching Istanbul, being on the road for eight months, I had thought I would be comfortable in experiencing this loneliness and that dichotomy of naturalness and unnaturalness. But once I hit Istanbul, it was a whole another level of strangeness, absolute strangeness. And Istanbul really gave really left a bad taste in my mouth for many reasons of which I would not get into. But one thing I will tell you is that the rich and the privileged or these are built upon the sufferings of the poor. Well, it's been a long conversation, my friend. Did I make it to Hong Kong? I did eventually,

44:04but not how I originally planned, with the help of some very loving people who supported me on the journey, knocked me to my senses, asking me why was I risking my life like that? And it was very hard for me to tell them why. The only thing I could say was that I needed to, I needed to, because if I continued sitting there in my room in early 2017, I would go insane. If I continued hitting my head against that wall trying to create without the tools and the experiences I would go insane. If I continued surrounding myself with the people that I did, I would go insane and I needed to go on this journey. And if you would kill me, then I was prepared to die. Everyone has a secret journey. You have a secret journey too.

45:17Something at the back of your mind, a place that you wanted to go, or something that you wanted to do. When we were born, we were born a clean slate. But as we grow older, we develop a veil that shrouds our vision and creativity and our spirit of magic. And because of this veil, we don't, we continue to live, but we do not believe that we can achieve and create what we imagined. Because other people tell us otherwise that we need this, we need that. I just want to tell you that you don't. And if you exercise the free will and exercise your spirit of magic, you can create what you want to create for yourself against all odds.

46:24And this is your truth. Just like this journey was my truth. And after everything, I had reached Hong Kong in later April 2018. And as I sat there at the airport, as it got off the plane, hearing my own language again and seeing and being with my own people again after five long years, the journey that I undertook fleshed by, and it was like a blur to me, it was like a dream. But it was a visceral dream. That started out just as a little seed and a little thought in my mind. And to conclude this conversation, I just want to say, you are more capable than what you believe. You have more in you than what you think you have.

47:29You have two hands and two legs. If things don't work out for you, you can walk, you can do things. When I was working on the farm in Belgium, in 2016, I saw first hand what two empty hands and a dream in the heart can create. A way from the labels and the distinctions of what you are taught. And even if you find yourself in the lowest of the low places, you can still pick yourself back up. But do not, for one moment, tell yourself that I cannot. And do not keep yourself by putting a carrot in front of you in the hopes that one day you will reach it because I know people who are like this. They tell me, oh, Jin, I was to change my life. I have no skills.

48:32I have no money. I don't know what to do. I tell them you have two hands and two legs now. You have your passport. If you are like me in Europe, you have the whole of Europe as your playground to develop yourself. Why don't you do it? Why let things limit and restricts you? The only reason that I can pinpoint is that you are afraid. You are afraid. And so you lie to yourself. You put a goal in front of you and tell you as long as I reach this goal, I will be okay. But the one thing that you do not realize is that once you put this goal in front of you, if you don't change your mindset, if the wellspring of your spirit is still poisoned, you will never reach your goal and you will be snuffed out by life just like I was almost snuffed

49:37out. And let's speak practically now. If you are young still like me without any skills and nothing to your name and no money, get yourself on Helpex. Helpex.net. Register yourself as a volunteer and go around Europe working and learning skills because the skills you pick up along the way will serve you once you come back to your life. And so 16th of February 2018. The time 15.50pm. I hope that the conversation that we had and the journey that I just shared with you would be of any use to you. And I hope that as well you continue to create and exercise the

50:41spirit of magic that you have within you and don't let anyone tell you that is impossible. You and me. We're in the business of impossibility. We're in that business. I wish you all the best and until then I'll see you down the road.