Assist each other in the home | Mufti Menk

0:00Prophet Muhammad ﷺ helped in the home. Yes indeed, with what? He helped with the cooking and the cleaning, not every day but a lot of the time. So, if you take a careful study of that time, there was nothing hard and fast as to who must cook. It became a cultural matter later. And yes, indeed there are people who would fulfill the roles, people say, well, you know, you go to bring the food. I'll bring the food but you go to help me cook it, you know. You can ask your spouse and it's a bonus. You know, the happiest homes are the homes where the spouses know their roles, but assist each other a little bit in your role. I'll go out of work all day, so I'm going to be really, really tired and so on. I'll expect you to do a little bit while you're at home. By the way, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us ease. And sometimes if both are away, maybe we might be able to collectively afford something that perhaps would help us eat, maybe someone who can

1:00cook for us, then we can pay them. Or perhaps food that is already prepared by a third party and we can pay and have it. Whatever it may be, learn to understand each other. When I go back and look at the Syirah and the little that I've read just to prepare for this particular talk, I can tell you that the Prophet's As-Sallam assisted in help when it came to the milking of the goats. That means the milking and bringing the milk and whatever else. Today we have milk and bread when it came to assisting in cooking and so on. They would cook to this day. You know, there are a lot of people who are good chefs who are males. In fact, some of the best chefs on earth are males, but we make it taboo simply because we're culturally contaminated in a lot of cases. And we consider it a religious matter just because it suits us. It's very difficult to come out of that. I'm not at all trying to change your situation in your own home, but I am saying my beloved brothers try and help a little bit more. Try and clean up. Don't make a big mess. Intentionally, make sure, try and help clean up. I can speak about myself. I've started helping

2:06from a while. A little bit here in there. It makes such a big difference and you can. It's so easy. It would take a few minutes if we both tried to do this together. But if you just left it on one, it's a big mission. So, Allah. Either way, and my beloved sisters, support your spouses. Make life easy for them. Try and help them in whatever they're doing. Look at Khadija, O Allah, and she sent the Prophet ﷺ before Nubua to do the business. He did the business. He brought in the money, even though she was the one who outlaid the capital, even though the money ultimately belonged to her, but he was earning a handsome Prophet. And everything was done beautifully. So, if one does this, the other one can do that, and we can both help each other fulfil our roles. So, my brothers, my sisters, we've mentioned a lot of points, and I've actually said quite a few things. I want to end off with a beautiful reminder that you all probably know. It's a Hadith where the Prophet ﷺ says, Khairuqum Khairuqumli ahlihi, the best from amongst you

3:09are those who are best to their wives. He didn't stop there. He says, wa anah Khairuqumli ahli. And I am the best to his wife. Ahli actually means to his family. I'm the best. Family here, wife, children to start with, and then your brother family. So, why did he say that I am the best? Because that means anything he did or said, we need to learn from. Anything he did or said, we need to learn from. Another quick point that's come to my mind, the expression on your face needs to be positive. Both husband and wife. Don't come into the home and have a face that gives an impression that you are so sad and upset, and yet you're not. Make an effort to smile. If smiling on the face of a strange brother is actually an Ibadah for the brothers and the sisters, for the sisters, if it's an Ibadah for a stranger, what about your spouse? It is a far greater act of worship, far greater. So, make an effort, come home, say good words, don't get angry.

4:14If not getting angry is a great act of worship, then don't get angry starting at home. Do you know getting angry is actually haram to get angry in this way with people for no reason? That's prohibited. La taqadab. That means don't get angry. That is the advice of the Prophet Salam. He repeated it so many times. La taqadab. La taqadab. According to a narration, the sahabah says, that we wish that we could have said, oh, I hope that now it's enough. I hope he can keep quiet on that one. Meaning we've got the point. But no, he repeated it again and again because people get angry with your spouse. Start screaming and yelling. Stop it. Cut it. Start understanding who you are. You're a part of the Ummah of the Prophet Muhammad al Salam. You're supposed to follow his example and his footsteps. You're supposed to be an amazing human being. You're supposed to try to be one. So cut out the screaming, the yelling, the shouting, the abuse of language, the lies, the falsehood, the cheating, the deceiving. They trusted him completely. Salala salam.

5:19And it was a beautiful, amazing relationship. So here goes, are you part of the Ummah? Make an effort to follow. Make an effort to learn. Make an effort to change your lives. Husbands and wives. It's about time we did something about what we know. You expand your knowledge. Whatever I said today, I'm sure you know. But one thing that we're lacking is, when it comes to, have you changed your life? What are you doing? Did you change? Subhanallah. May Allah Almighty grant us all goodness, may Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala protect all of us and make us from the best of people. May Allah Almighty help us improve ourselves. May Allah help us fulfill the rights of our spouses with respect, with dignity. May Allah make us focus on the akhirah and on Jannah rather than focusing on petty material things of this world. This world does not equate even the weight of the wing of a fly in the eyes of Allah. So what are you stressed about?