Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card XIV

0:00Welcome welcome welcome to armchair anonymous. I'm Dak Shepherd. I'm joined by Monocopadman today We have ding ding ding ding ding ding wild card. We love a wild car because it's a big old question mark Do you think we should do the same prom but call it chef's choice? Remember an elementary it was the worst day in elementary and it always worked out I never got hot lunch but like probably once every two months my mom would leave me a dollar to get a hot lunch Yeah, and it was on show up just going to be chefs fucking choice I like chefs choice. No, that means you're gonna get whatever thing they couldn't move last week And you're most likely gonna get the Snoopy hot dog, which is like a quarter pound hot dog is too much hot dog I was a huge hot dog. Oh, that's a fucking dog. I would think you would like that now I was but back then it's over You're so mixed messages. It's too big. Why don't we rename it to Snoopy hot dog? Okay Snoopy hot dog. Please enjoy wild card All times come and go

1:00Good times take them slow You gotta know I'm gonna keep on shining John bitch John. What is this cute shirt you're wearing? It's a celebrate cannabis day. Oh Okay, there's an official Canadian cannabis day. Yeah, when they legalized it for Canada We're in Canada are you little town called cold water which a blood now and a half north of Toronto? Oh great Sorry Monica, but in route to muskoka. Yes. Oh lovely So you have a wild card story, which means we have no clue what this is about it could be grand larceny It could be a kidnapping I'm hoping you never know my story started in 2017 my wife and I and two really good friends Frank Goods of Anna planned on going to a set of waterfalls

2:00On the river that leads from their cottage lake on Canada day Oh beautiful, so we had all kinds of Party favors and stuff like that snacks stuff like that the morning of I'd called Frank and says do you mind if we use your canoe instead of mine So I don't have to drag it up to the car up to their place and then back down the hill to their lake Because he had a canoe and a kayak so off we go We had to motor out to the other end of his lake with a boat and dragging the two canoes where we got to the river One day I will say is the water was quite high I'd been down the river before and we had to portage twice We never got to the falls at that point and when we went this time We just Peddled right through there was no portaging the water was at high. Oh wow, okay So we're five kilometers down to the falls and just before the falls the river got quite narrow So then all of that extra water was got really fast going through that narrows And then it did kind of like a sharp turn and at that point Fiona and I capsized our canoe

3:00Oh, oh, oh, and how far from waterfall are you? I don't know I'd never seen it before and I didn't actually see the top of the falls so We're obviously in the water Frank and Savannah were in a two-man fishing kayak and they got pushed against the rocks on the side of the river And they just stayed there as we're flapping around like a couple of wet seals So then just before I went over the falls Savannah our friend says the rope the rope is around his neck What the rope leading to our canoe? Oh my luckily enough I got it off and went over the falls backwards hold on can I ask you John how old were you in? 2017 late 50s at that point same with my wife. She's a couple years younger. So anyways over the falls I'm going backwards underwater Oh, I'm thinking I can't see anything behind me the way I'm traveling I'm thinking well if I get caught I'm done for it But I thought I could almost live with that. It was a calming thing. Oh wow So anyways, I pop up and we had to like say all the crap we had in the canoe There's a cool noodle right in front of him and I grabbed a hold of it

4:02I couldn't see Fiona anywhere and I finally got to the side of those a bunch of rapids at the bottom of the falls It was about 20 foot drop Okay, that's significant two-story building. Yeah, like I say glad I wasn't watching myself go over I got to the side of the river and got out. I've got no glasses no shoes and I can't see Fiona Oh boy, and I'm screaming and screaming and yelling for her our buddy Frank had come down the escarpment Found me because we were on the same side He's points across the river and she was across the river He walked down the bank further down below the rapids Swam across the river to grab Fiona and brought her so we'd all be on the same side of the river at that point Then we had to climb up the escarpment up to where his wife Savannah was we're now down to one boat like a two-man kayak Yeah, what happened to your canoe it went over and went downstream? No, it's still there It's at the bottom of the river. It's at the bottom of the falls My neck would have been retached that if she had to mention about the rope because I didn't the rope was around my neck

5:04So there's so many ways you can get hurt right? It's like will you get hurt falling over and hitting a rock or will the boat hit you in the head or all the fucking Flops him and jets him I could have got caught on something underneath as well. Yeah Oh, I don't know if Rob's got the pictures, but there's two pictures of the falls. Yeah, we let's see Oh Hey, yes, where it shows the river all you can see is rocks Yet for the listener he went down a rock face with a sliver cut out of it where the river has rushed through It's just solid rocks Big big hard boulders that looks like granite or something. Yep Canadian shield everybody. Oh Okay, okay. Yeah, this is not a great waterfall to go over. No, thank you And is this a dead body? What have you covered with the Canadian flag? Oh, oh, no, that's next part of the story Oh, okay, great, great, great, great Okay, so anyways that was part of our party favors. We had a Canadian flag for Canada day We then decide that Fiona and I and Savannah are gonna get into this two-man hobby You don't have paddles with this. It's got flippers underneath

6:05So the front passenger compartment we had to take the paddles out so Fiona and I could sit in it So all we've got a Savannah in the back train to paddles Against a strong current. Oh jeez and Frank's trained to swim behind us. Oh my god bless Frank He's like I'll take one for the team So I kept yelling back for Frank and of course he's trained to swim and he can't respond So we actually got about a half a kilometer up the river. I kept calling out to Frank and he wasn't responding so I just No more. We're not going any further and we decide to get off the boat and see what else we could do Because we'd also almost capsize the whole beef with the fast water. So then comes the body under the flags There was actually three of us under there. Savannah, Fiona and I are under that Canadian flag to keep warm or to smoke weed What's going on in there? Oh The black flies and mosquitoes were just eating us alive. Oh The reason why we have the picture was I said to Frank start taking pictures and he didn't stop So he had one barn his phone and he called 911

7:05911 operator contacted the local fire department and they said no and then we're in Seguin Township And it's a volunteer fire department and three fire personnel came down the river on a small lumina boat Wow So Around that time an air ambulance starts circling up top They can't come down help us, but maybe just let us know that somebody is around And we were getting constant updates from the 911 operator They're at the ramp for the lake. That's about two kilometers up to the river They're at the mouth of the river. They're on their way down. Oh wow Was anyone hurt? I lost my shoes. I bruised up both my ankles my wrists And then Fiona had bruising as well around the time that the fire department showed up Search and rescue comes in with another helicopter. So it was Fire department and two helicopters. We're Yeah, they've really deployed everyone. Well luckily enough they were in the area doing maneuvers So it only took them 45 minutes to an hour to get there and did all four you fit in this aluminum boat Well, there was already three big firemen and there's no way we could have plus they had their hobby to take back out

8:08So there's two SARS-Tex repelled down from the helicopter and pick Fiona and I up Oh, yeah Yeah, and you wouldn't believe the down draft from that thing was especially when you're right underneath that There was branches and leaves flying all over the place What we were told later was the down draft actually knocked down three trees as well. Oh my god Whoa, whoa, whoa, there may be like a hundred feet above here Well, yeah, you got to assume the helicopter is like 10,000 pounds, which means it's deploying 10,000 pounds of force to lift itself up So we get like say we get in the helicopter the SARS-Tex that was with me said they're gonna get you to the hospital And they're gonna wrap me in a warm bear hug Oh I can't ask he didn't explain But apparently some sort of a warm saline solution in a blanket. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, ward off hypothermia because I was shaking like crazy Oh, of course, I'm soaking wet to still they got us into the Perry Sound Hospital the emergency department and they were just phenomenal They separated us which granted upset me a little bit because I wanted to be with Fiona And of course they do the procedure. They want to start cutting off all your clothes and I said no you can't cut off the t-shirt

9:12You can't cut off the t-shirt because the last time I was on that river with Frank Icapsides the canoe we never made it to the falls. Wow. You keep going though. You're like you're an expert But you keep at it. Normally you'd admire that but in this case with water. I don't know if you should keep at it But the t-shirt the text on it is upside down and backwards and it says if you can read this Pulled me back into the canoe Wow Yeah, it was the ideal shirt if I was picking you up on the repal line I would be like was this pre-meditated? Very It happened. It's one stop away from a shirt that says I love a emergency rescue air lift rides. You know, it's like oh god Yeah, I just got to play on this They took like 24 x-rays of me and at least 10 of Fiona Those some sort of a shadow on her heart so they were quite concerned about that thought they made a bruise your heart But we both turned out fine. Oh Wonderful Heroine oh was it was just devastating. I'd say about eight o'clock that night

10:15We'd left in the morning, but eight o'clock that night franken's event Finally got to the hospital and it took him six hours to get back to their boat because of the strong current Oh, God Well, that's a very memorable canner today for sure maybe your most event. Oh, yeah, it was phenomenal So I was two weeks recovery at home And at the same time I were when I got back I called my boss and because it was a company phone I had them contact IT department to shut down the phone for security when I did go into the office to pick up a replacement I asked the IT guy did you locate the phone? He says yeah, it's in the middle of a link 10 miles down river it made it right because it was in a zip-like bag Oh wow I also contacted search and rescue with by email because I wanted to thank them And I got an email back almost right away Say well somebody could we'll contact you within the next day or so the next day I got a call from the captain from search and rescue and he says I hear you want to come down to Trenton because Why not right so we made a date trip about a month later to meet the crew and thank them

11:16We get there the captain meets us out the base escorts us in and everything takes us to the hangar And he says okay, we've got to go upstairs to a meeting room We get up there the whole staff is there and they do a morning debriefing for weather and stuff like that because the SARS-Tex They cover from the east side of the Rock East to go back up to the Arctic Circle. That's their area They were actually being prepared to go the next day up to the Arctic to do a training for a week. Wow Yeah, what's special is so then after the presentation they took us downstairs and they brought the helicopter to rescue us Out onto the tarmac and the whole crew was there and we got to formally thank them and pictures Yeah, they had a base photographer there. That's one of the pictures. I think that you guys have got yeah Love that's so nice. Yeah, what the base commander had said was they never hear from the people they do rescue And there's no status of what happened or anything else. We were really happy to hear from us and actually see us But he says nine times at a time it's recovery. It gives them some closure as well Yeah, yeah, you're one of the good stories one of the few we had our life jackets on and they were done up

12:20That current was really strong and I struggled just to keep the life vest down so I can maneuver right now man All of that with the rescue that two helicopters the emergency staff and Didn't cost us a cent oh Yeah, that's nice. That's really nice. Yeah, that is enviable. Yeah, that could be a hefty bill. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, you've been the thousands. Yeah Well, John, it's lovely meeting you you sound like a real party. Well, it was my younger days So I want to give a shout out if I may yes my lovely wife Fiona our daughter Haley for Introducing us to you guys and to Frankus Savannah as well. Oh wonderful When I got my contact email from Emma. We were on a boat on a river with Frankus. Oh my god Yeah Can I ask my wife and daughters? Yeah, of course. Thank you. Hi Hi, how are you? Happy summer to y'all

13:22And you it's just so surreal to see both of your faces and such a huge fan. Oh That's nice. I can show you my sweater. I don't know if you can see it. Oh Yeah, that's a good one. That's what I think that is a goodie. It is a good one I can't wear it when I'm cooking because I make a mess of everything cooking and eating same do I I'm often shirtless for the So what's lovely meaning all you guys? Yeah, Fiona You didn't cry because he always cries when he tells us No, we're sad he didn't cry. We would have liked a cry But it's a crazy story. Yeah, I'm glad you guys are both okay. Yeah. Yeah, so are we thank you so much for taking the time of course Have a great summer. Okay, you too All right. Bye. Bye. Thank you Oh

14:24Hello, hello, who do we have here? I'm Evie hi Evie. How are you? I'm good. How are you guys? Wonderful. Where are you? I'm currently in the dark corners of our garage Oh, okay in what state or country? I'm in Toronto Back to back Canadian. Yes, we just had another Canadian you Canadians have a disproportionate amount of stories You guys get yourself into some stuff. Yeah, yeah, you get a lot of high drinks I'm in Toronto just for the summer in university out in Hal Fax most of the year Okay, so you're back home for the summer Yeah, and are you going out every night and seeing friends and having the most amount of fun? I am doing that while simultaneously I'm doing my first internship at an engineering company. Oh good for you Mechanical or civil I'm in chemical Oh good for you I understood chemistry, but something happened with the math at some point and I was like you know what fuck chemistry chemistry was hard for me as well. Yeah, honestly, I find it hard sometimes too. It is hard

15:27Okay, so you're telling your cousin's story is that what's happening? So what's happening is my cousin On a whim submitted a story about me Oh, okay, okay From her perspective because she was there the whole time it happened Except I had no idea and I found out about this late last night. Oh, okay wonderful This is our first version of this. Yeah, we like it. It's like a surprise situation But I'm so excited to be on and to be here. Yeah, so what happened? We don't know anything. It's wild card So the story takes place up in northern Ontario. We kind of go there in the summer On Georgian Bay. It's kind of this island rock community And there's a summer camp there that I've been growing up going to with my cousin McKenzie and One summer it was my first summer working at the camp. I was freshly 16 first job

16:28Kenzie and I had been assigned a group of a ton of young campers who we hardly knew what to do with under the age of five It was just like typical Ontario summer camp experience One morning. I woke up and my dad is quite the weatherman. He's a sailor so he's always giving us forecasts of What's gonna happen in the day up there? Does he say red sky at night sailors delight a lot? Yeah, he does Red sky and morning sailors take warning. Oh wow Red sky and morning sailors take warning You know what that's actually applicable to this story. Okay, so when didn't notice the red sky in the morning maybe That morning he actually did and he was obviously on the radar and he saw this massive storm coming in There's only supposed to last like an hour So he's like, okay, go to work early be careful because we drive boats to get everywhere up there So I drive my boat to work. We're in our morning meeting and our boss is kind of like okay

17:29There's this crazy storm coming. It's just when the parents and children are arriving. So it's gonna be chaotic. Oh God We're gonna meet in this spot and then we're gonna figure out a plan and it's just like typical summer camp chaos everybody shows up The campers are just drenched. No one was prepared for the raid everyone's running around people are dropping off their kids There's parents involved yelling at the staff. We don't know where to go what to do and This storm was just insane. I've been up there my whole life. I've never seen Something like this it came and in two seconds just torrential down for there was boats at the front dogs that were sinking. Oh my gosh There's like this massive tree that's been there for decades that Completely broke and fell down. Is there any lightning or just wind and rain? Yeah, that's when the lightning started A lightning strikes and then you're counting the seconds and then it just keeps getting more and more intense in this storm within half an hour just

18:36Was the craziest thing I've ever seen up there just trees everywhere and Because it was COVID they had set up these metal event tents drilled into the rock and instead of Meeting in the normal meeting place The parents had to come drop the kids under these tents because obviously it's raining. We don't want everyone to get all wet And then everyone's like okay, this has gone crazy half the kids are there half the kids are gone There's kids running around the forest everyone's Drenched and they're like okay, we're going inside mask on. Let's do it. We're getting out of there So my cousin and I are trying to wrangle like eight kids under the age of five Everyone's freaking out and everyone heads inside Five is tiny these kids got to be terrified. I'm back at the tent with a few other people trying to pick up their stuff and Get the last few stragglers and Obviously that is probably the least ideal place to be in a storm like that on an island in the middle of a lake That's made out of rocks under a tent with metal poles

19:37and Out of nowhere I just feel this insane Oh my god way Did not Is never having never even spoke to somebody yeah, I mean honestly it's hard to Put into words because not many people have experienced it, but All I can say is just this Pain is all I remember in my chest and my body How long did it take you to realize you had been straight you guy presume you got struck by lightning Yeah, so the thought is lots of people have their opinions. It's like this massive community. I'm known as lightning girl Yeah Requiem to fame, but the thought is that it went through the tent and then into my leg somehow like it arked off the poles Or maybe I touched it or something with a such a brief. I don't know exactly what happened in that moment

20:38I just remember how painful it was. Oh, but I also wore these chunky Silver rings everywhere in that time They were kind of lined up with where I was hit on my leg. Oh People maybe think that maybe that had something to do with it. Was there evidence of them arching against each other or welding themselves to each other No, but on my leg I had a big blister on one side with like red all around and I was wearing pants So it's pretty crazy But it took me a while after that happened. I was put into just the most insane robotic state of shock My cousin who submitted the story heard me scream when it happened But keep in mind it's complete pandemonium around it Everyone's freaking out everything's going wrong in that moment and It's just a bunch of people trying to deal with all the other crises going on. Yeah, you're one of many problems That's happening. Yeah Yeah, and there weren't that many people around so my cousin just kept she was like okay

21:41What and then just like kept trying to get the kids and then I Actually don't remember this because that was so messed up, but I went up to a co-worker And I said in the most robotic Pale face. I think I just got electrocuted. She looks at me and she's like What and like she's doing her thing and I said that to multiple people And no one was really because that's not what you would expect from someone who just went through so much pain right also If I'm being honest, I would prefer you would say I just got hit by lightning because like I like to get it Is like what you got zapped by the radio, but you're fine. I see that you're walking around like yeah Let's talk about that a few hours come up with the words in that moment, right? Sure, but don't you agree? Well, sure, but also I'd be like now you didn't you're standing here Yeah, just if someone said they were getting electrocuted. I would not think lightning For some reason that's so I could get out and then I went up to an older co-worker and I said I think along the lines the same thing just like people describe I was just so

22:49Why it in monotone which is not Like at all and he was like okay Concerned and then I couldn't say anything. I was like it hurts and he was like okay And then I pulled down my pants and I was pointing at it and I was like this hurts And then he saw that and then all helped He realized you had been struck Yeah, and as soon as someone else started freaking out and more people gone involved and they called an ambulance I just lost it. I was screaming hyperventilating crying like I think everything just hit me I think I was freaking myself out how much I was freaking out because I've just never been in That much panic and fear and yeah So when they took you to the hospital did they find anything? What do they do for that? Give you a glass of water apple juice They took me in the hospital In a boat to the station through this massive lightning story. Oh, this is

23:51But yeah, then I went in the ambulance and I was just freaking out and they got me to the hospital and My mom came and met me and she recounts it as the most terrifying night of her life because I just Would not stop freaking out and I just kept repeating like I think I did I what what like I was just so confused Literally frazzled fried they took my blood work I had to sleep and stay the next day in the cardiac ICU with all the heart monitors because I think that's the biggest concern When that happens, but Luckily it went in my leg and out the other side Of my leg But there's speculation as to like if it had hit me Somewhere else at that strength because my leg was tensing up and the muscles were really hurting if it had hit me in the chest or something like that it could have been hard to tax yeah Did you return to the job? I did yeah good for you. What a warrior

24:52You must have been the queen of that camp after that like what do you mean? You don't want to wake up early and clean the toilet. This is bitch got hit by lightning She's here. Yeah, kind of make sense of your chemical engineer little bit. Yeah, it's like all adding up Also that dad's obsessed with the weather. I hate to blame him, but I think he manifested this Your father no one should be that concerned about the weather no he told he was oh no I'm sorry. No Don't blame dad is like if all you think about is knife violence You're gonna get stuck up with a knife Let's hope this isn't the case you're obsessed with a lot of violence That's wild Yeah, never heard it. Yeah, we'll never hear it again when you felt completely normal in a week or so Yeah, I think the level of Shock that it put me in took a while to wear off my leg was really messed up for a while just kind of felt like an intense Bruisy muscle situation going on, but yeah, I was really lucky honestly besides that I

25:55Healed up his back to work and like a week and a half had the best summer ever Oh, I love it. And is your cousin gonna join us to say hi? Yeah, cousin time You did a nice thing you sacrifice. Oh, well, every did a nice thing and agreed to go Are you a Canadian too? Have you been to this camp? Oh, you were there. Yeah, you were close. Yes Yes, I was at the camp as well. I was the head staff. So got a little bit of grief for this How far away was she when this happened like right beside me. Oh my god So I always wonder how loud the thunder would be if you're in the lightning was it so loud? It was pretty loud lots and lots of screaming toddlers. Yeah, the whole thing was probably this is a disaster But the teenagers in charge. Yeah Yes Can camp drop off as normally a disaster for 40-year-olds anyway When the weather's nice let alone when the weather is crazy. So I'm sure you can imagine. Oh, man

27:00Well, it's lovely meeting both of you. Yes Everything's retelling us that story. I didn't know that I'd ever talked to someone that was hit by lightning No problem when people say to you like because it comes up in colloquial conversation Someone will go like oh you shouldn't worry about that you're more likely to get hit by lightning People have probably said that to you not knowing you've been hit by lightning. Yeah, you're like well Yeah, I've heard that multiple Yeah, I would live for that moment. Yeah, I would just be like trying to goad people into saying that sentence to me I'm just so worried about getting hit and then with a coconut. There you go You have more of a chance of getting struck by light wolf then I'm fuck cuz I've been struck by lightning and I would launch into my story Well, this was fun lady ladies fun to meet the cousins Thank you so much Yeah, have a great summer. Oh, yeah, drunk a lot Hang with your friends eat a lot of avocado toast and have a good summer. Oh wow. That was a wild thing to throw in there Thank you bye

28:02You know young people eat avocado toes. Oh you are so young. No, that's a millennial thing in quotes and it's also not a thing It's not true. That's not true. I bet young people eat avocado toes way more than all people. No, you just read the recent avocado report They're Gen Zers very like cigarettes Is this Aaron it is hello hi Aaron we just met someone that was struck by lightning have you ever met anyone struck by lightning? I have not not that I'm aware of at least he's saying I kind of ruled it out at 51 that was ever gonna meet anyone that was struck by lightning You know, it is gonna be hard now for me. That's gonna be hard to unhere because now that we know someone it's like it could be us New fear unlocked correct Aaron. Where are you? I am in Minnesota. This is crazy

29:08We had another Minnesota today. We owe two Canadians and two Minnesotians and there's some connective tissue between y'all You're all are very polite. Yes, that plays into my story. Oh I'm nervous and are you born and raised there or have you relocated to there? I was born and raised in Wisconsin So pretty much Minnesota. Yeah, a lot of flip flop between so Aaron what line of work are you in? I am an early education. Oh Congrats to you. Okay. I mean congrats to us that we have more definitely Congrats to us. That's what I mean. I remember when we would drop our two and four year old off at daycare And I just thought like thank god I get a break and then I'm like these three humans inside are gonna deal with like 25 of the it's incredible I tip my hat to you but does the day fly by? Yes, I'm not in the classroom anymore. I do more admin kind of trading But yeah, when you've got 14 toddlers running around it goes pretty quickly I bet it boogie easy. Okay, so you have a wild card story which means we know nothing about that

30:09I see a stack of photos that are turned over and so we're very excited So my story takes place in December of 2018 Me and my best friend Lauren had just moved to the cities which is like Minneapolis St. Paul in Minnesota Cute you guys call it the cities. We call it the cities. Yeah, I like it. Oh, I like it Yeah, I know twin cities with just cities. It's called TCs or twin peaks. We call it the Tc Marathon. Oh, okay Great And then just a little backstory So as I mentioned I grew up in Wisconsin a really small town about 3,000 people So like low crime not really having to be like on guard I would leave my keys in the ignition in my car overnight. Yeah The city is like new to me. So it's December me and Lauren decide on a Friday night We're gonna go over to our friend Beth's house and Beth it's her birthday weekend and she was going through or just recently got divorced So we're just trying to like amp her up and have a good time And Beth is a really beautiful singer and so we were like well what better than to do karaoke

31:12So as we're looking all of the familiar bars that we know that do karaoke do karaoke on Saturdays And so we're like well shit. We have to find a bar that does it on Friday And so we're googling we're calling we find a place we're not familiar with it But we're like whatever we've been at Beth's for a few hours pre gaming Pre gaming in Minnesota means that you're already pretty much blackout drunk. Yeah, yeah So we're up for anything at this point So we call a newber we pull up to the bar and immediately we're like okay This is not our normal vibe a good comparison was In horrible bosses where they pull up to the bar to meet Jamie Foxx's character And it's just very evident they don't belong. Yeah, yeah That was the vibe when we walked in everybody kind of turned and looked and was like who are you? Why are you here? And we're like all right? We're moving forward. We see the karaoke bar set up for like this is great And it honestly ends up being an awesome night. There was nobody else singing karaoke We just sang song after song after song We met some of the other patrons there. We did some group songs

32:13We did some couple songs like it was a really good time and at some point this woman kind of took to us She was one of those people were like every time you turned around she was just kind of there and you're like oh jeeps Where'd you come from and it was clear that she kind of had interest in Beth So she was like kind of making some inappropriate comments touching Her more than you would generally touch a stranger. Okay. It's kind of coming on. I would say So we have a good time. It's bar close. We've got to go So we call the uber we're waiting outside and this woman follows us and starts making comments like she's gonna come to Beth's house with us And we're from the Midwest so we're like well, we're not gonna confront that head on We're just gonna ignore it and we don't want to make her feel awkward And that was a mistake we should have confronted her because she got in the uber with us Oh no came back with us to back how old is this woman? I mean like she's older. Yes. She was 40s 50s Maybe and she was like a hundred pounds soaking wet. So she's just a little nugget. Okay. Okay You guys get over throw her. Yeah, she gets wily. Yes. So we're in the uber the three of us are texting like what are we gonna

33:17Do when we get there and bets on the hot seat because she wants a piece of bath, right? That's what she's coming back to the house for God, what we are thinking yet Okay So we come up with this plan that we're just gonna act like we're all going home for the night like the night's done We're not staying at baths. We're going home So we get out well first Lauren who called the uber she told the uber driver She's like take this woman wherever she needs to go. I will pay for it like it's fine And so he's like okay, what address do you need? Let's go and she ignores him and just gets out of the uber with Okay, so Beth goes to her house me and Lauren start walking to Lauren's car and this lady starts Following us, right? Okay, we're gonna commit to the bit we get in the car We buckle up side note Lauren drove a two door coupe at that time So small car there's no room for passengers So we think this is a shoe and she's gonna get the picture and leave She does not she Proceeds to sit on my lap. No What in the car while we're both buckled in so we start asking politely

34:21We're like can you please leave this isn't going to continue like the night is over Please get out please get out and she's not getting out. So finally I got annoyed and I kind of like shoved her And I was like get the fuck out like what are you doing? And that upset her oh That's when she reached across me and like tried to grab my purse, but it was wrapped around the emergency break So she's kind of tugging at that for a while Realizes that's not gonna happen. Do you want to hang what if she can't hang now? She wants to steal your purse Yeah, she maybe always wanted to Oh Maybe Beth was a red herring. Yeah, I don't know the funny part is I had about three dollars to my name at that point She wanted to steal my purse. She very well So Monica, I don't know if you remember the hairstyle of the top knot in 2018 I still rock on top. Yeah, so that was what I was rocking that night So at that point she grabbed me by the top knot And just starts beating the shit out of my Oh

35:22You guys picked up a straight cat And now the cat's She very well could have been yes, we were like we were buckled in so that's why we couldn't fight back Sure, so yeah, she gets at least like 10 punches in It felt like her fingers were going like inside my eye socket like it was so painful And so after about 10 punches Lauren who's next to me finally Yeah, oh, I need to do something. Yes, she chose freeze right that's one of the four options And then she froze for so long she rethought and like you know what I'm I am gonna involve now I have that time to think She reaches across and tries hitting the lady's arm that was holding on to my hair at which point that made her even more angry So she so swiftly reaches across punches Lauren square in the face Lauren's nose immediately starts gushing blood. Oh my god. This plan went to hell in a ham-bass

36:23One punch was all it took for Lauren to then be like oh, we need to get out of here. This isn't good So at which point she puts her foot on the gas and we just drive away No idea what happened to the woman She at that point was out of the car like beating us up So the doors open we're driving down the road. I got to tip my hat to this hunter pal woman I mean just tell you You guys are speeding away in terror back at her house. She told us that she could hear the screams and was like about to dial 911 But we had been drinking so she didn't want to This is a real Sophie's choice. Yeah drive drunk or continue to get assaulted So we're driving down the road we pull over into a parking lot and just kind of regroup by shut the car door We decide to go back to our apartment We get in we're grabbing like frozen vegetables from the freezer and putting them on our face And then we just kind of like sat there for the rest of the night trying to process like what the hell just happened

37:24And that story has gone on to be told so many times but that is how midwestern girls We're too afraid to hurt somebody's feelings and ended up getting Yeah Okay, so the photos I get to see photos. Let's see what we got here. Oh Is this the mom beat? Oh my god, you really fucked you guys up dude This is bigger than I was expecting This is so bad You guys are so happy about it too. It's just hilarious Really black eyes Also your eyes so beautiful you have the most beautiful blue eye Oh my god You'll see When I close it looks like you fought a professional fighter I want to meet this fucking spark plug this guy was a party fucking rearing to go horny for bath raid a throwdown What a lady She's someone's grandma I bet Probably I do have Lauren with Oh

38:28Hi Lauren listen, who do you think got the worst of it? I feel like Aaron got the worst of it You both look pretty bad Aaron had about 10 easy punches to the eyes 10 punches versus the one But yeah, you got the nose which is tough I mean, I've been in a lot of fights Aaron. I've never looked as bad after the fight Yeah, really Truly I mean, I've had a broken nose, but that's really the only thing that would ride you I'm not sure to get your teeth you have such a nice smile. Yeah, or that one eye. I'm glad she left the one eye alone I did have some missing eyelashes for a while, but those did grow back nice Were you afraid you got like rabies or something? I would be afraid of that. You know, I don't think that crossed your mind I've learned a couple guys in my day where I was like I need to get a AIDS test afterwards like there was blood exchange And that guy yeah, I think that guy's an intervenious drug user Oh, well you guys you guys are fine. Yeah, you're fun. That's you get the perfect attitude to get beat up That's the only way to do it ladies you did it perfectly

39:31You just take your licks and you try to have his money laughs about it as you can We just couldn't stop laughing after we got beat up. Yeah, that's good. That's the dream Aaron and I have been there Yeah, that's that's the best response. Well, it's lovely meeting you guys Enjoy that summer find some karaoke and let's go around to it this bit Let's see if it might be your turn Practice in this style All right Wow, that was life affirming Well, you know, it's wild out there. It's a wild and crazy life. These girls are really beat to a pulp. I know I don't think people would really Believe fucked up they got from a 90 I've made her 90 pounds. Yeah, you keep I punch up jokes 100 is just perfect. Can't believe she was so scrappy Morning scrappy. All right. Well, that was a fun wild card. Love you. Love you To sing a tune or something

40:33Okay, great We're gonna ask some random questions I'm a fire I'm a fire I miss enjoy