Are You Running on Desire Instead of Capacity?(155)

In this episode, Tera Wages sits down with Phyllis Hill and Echo Hill Vedder to talk about a game-changing concept: desire vs. capacity—the difference between what we want to do and what we actually have the bandwidth for. They discuss how ignoring our capacity leads to burnout, why so many of us push through exhaustion, and how tuning into our bodies can be the key to reclaiming energy and joy. Echo shares how she learned to listen to her body instead of the judge in her head, and Phyllis gets real about hitting empty after years of over-functioning. They explore many ways to grow capacity, shift limiting beliefs, and make space for what truly matters—without guilt or shame. Plus, they break down how emotional processing through Connection Codes helps expand capacity and disrupts the pain cycle not just for ourselves, but for our entire community. If you’re feeling exhausted, stuck, or constantly running on fumes, this episode is a must-listen!

Links and Resources:

• Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 
• To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠https://connectioncodes.co/wheel⁠⁠ 
• To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/marriage-course-online⁠⁠⁠ 
• Book a coaching session with Dr. Glenn: ⁠https://connectioncodes.co/marriage-help⁠⁠ 

(If links are not working, please copy and paste connectioncodes.co to your search bar and look through our site menu!)⁠⁠

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Connect with Echo Hill Vetter:

• Echo Hill Vetter’s Substack | Letters from Nashville: ⁠⁠https://substack.com/@echohillvetter⁠⁠  
• Echo on Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/echohillvetter⁠⁠ 
• Schedule 1:1 Coaching or Group Coaching with Echo: ⁠⁠https://calendly.com/echohillvetter⁠⁠ 
• Echo’s LinkTree: ⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/echohillvetter⁠ 

Chapters

• 00:00:00 - The Tug-of-War Between Wanting and Doing
• 00:04:10 - A Room Full of Connection Code Coaches
• 00:05:11 - When Your To-Do List Laughs at You
• 00:08:48 - Burnout Doesn’t Knock—It Kicks the Door Down
• 00:11:58 - Your Body is Keeping Score (And It’s Not Looking Good)
• 00:16:33 - Why Some Days You Can Handle It, and Some Days You Can’t
• 00:22:48 - The Science of Saying No (And Actually Meaning It)
• 00:26:57 - The Invisible Cost of Always Saying Yes
• 00:31:37 - The Brain vs. The Body: Who Wins?
• 00:32:34 - When Life Demands More Than You Can Give
• 00:34:38 - SOS: Finding Help Before You Collapse
• 00:36:36 - Systems That Save You From Yourself
• 00:42:56 - Self-Care Isn’t a Luxury—It’s Survival
• 00:48:07 - Why Emotional Processing is the Secret to More Energy
• 00:54:33 - Final Thoughts From Three People Who’ve Been There