Are You About Power? Or Relationship?

All children are defiant at times. It's their way of exploring their environment and developing their identity. How we respond to their defiance will set the tone of what kind of person your child will become. If you focus on their defiance and your upset, you are power-oriented. You miss a critical teachable moment. If you are relationship-oriented, you will draw closer together, as well as maintain your authority. After settling down with active listening, draw your child out with this critical question, "Honey, this isn't like you. What else is going on here?" If they don't respond to this essay question, make it a multiple choice question. You know your child well enough to figure out several possibilities of what might be going on. Once the air is cleared return to discussion about a reasonable consequence for their defiant behavior.