Analog parenting has families going back to the 90s

0:00It is the trend right now. Everyone is talking about the 90s. I was a teenager in the 90s, you know, all dorky and everything. But it's all the rage. They're dressing like we used to. And apparently, we're potentially parenting like we used to. Well, like my parents used to. Dr. Tamara Souls, our child psychologist, is joining us as she does every Saturday morning. We're going analog. It's the new trend. We're going backwards. Dr. Souls, thank you so much for joining us. Thanks for having me, Joanne. So apparently, we're very on trends, the two of us, as we're the same age and we're teens in the 90s. But it's not about us. It's about the parenting style. When you say going analog, what are we talking about exactly? Is it just putting away the phones? Yes, well, it's definitely a shift to more intentional use of screens and digital devices. And of course, there's a spectrum. But the idea is looking at where in our lives we can maybe replace or take a break from these screens

1:00and digital devices and move to analog things, whether that's an old-school alarm clock with that horrible sound. Yes, we are rooms instead of our phones. I can hear it as you're saying it, I guess. Yes, or more books or crafts, board games, puzzles, bringing in these intentional pieces, not to reject technology altogether, but to create more balance. And people are recognizing that digital fatigue. And everyone is hearing about the impact on adults, but also on kids and teens. So trying to find this slower, more meaningful experiences. And it's interesting, because as you're saying this, yes, I heard the sound of that alarm clock. I remember the kitchen phone. I remember the cable, the connect to the phone that would always get tangled. We had to take turns to use the phone, right? And you had no choice. You're talking about digital fatigue. It just was what it was, OK? So let's talk specifically though

2:00about the smartphones in particular, because I have slowly come to realize that it is the source of most of the evil in the world. You're saying that parents are delaying access. How are we doing this? When are we doing this? There are more and more parents speaking to each other saying, hey, what if we collectively delay giving our kids phones? And that age seems to be shifting for some to older, which is what we're looking for. We need parents to understand that there are lots of ways to help kids connect with their friends, lots of ways to keep them safe that don't necessarily rely on smartphones. And especially when class parents can make a collective decision or at least an intentional shift to delay that, they can be more thoughtful about how their kids use it. And my own kids observe how their friends use their phones.

3:02I say to them, don't judge because you will fall prey to that too when you have a phone. It happens to all of us who we know what the technology does. And I think it's so key there, Dr. Solz, that you said that parents have to make a collective decision. Otherwise, you know your kids feel like you're the odd man out, you know? That's exactly it. And of course, we want to help our kids tolerate that in our own houses will make decisions that might not be the same as their friends. But it certainly helps when a group of parents can make some of these decisions intentionally and collectively. And in this trend of analog parenting, I was reading your notes. And one of the things that stuck at the most is something that I believe is sorely missed. And I think is just absolutely beautiful. And it's boredom, right? To talk to us about the importance of boredom for kids. Yes, I think from a parent's perspective, when we hear the word boredom, we hear the whining, we hear the complaining. What we don't consider necessarily is that boredom is an absolute necessity for our brains.

4:06boredom actually pushes our brain into this default mode that allows for creativity, that allows for problem solving, that allows for reflection. And that doesn't happen as easily if we're never in that bored state. So that's where imagination comes alive. That's where creativity kicks in. But when we have trouble tolerating our children's whining or when children have trouble tolerating their own boredom, they don't get that opportunity. And it's our job as parents to help them access that. Yeah, we have to tolerate the whining and let them sit in it. Let them sit in their boredom. I mean, just I think about how much I used to daydream as a teenager. Oh my goodness, so much fun. But you're saying also, Dr. So is that this isn't like a one-size-fits-all, right? This analog sort of back to the 90s-style parenting. It's on a scale for different families. And it could be a different time. Like you say, for example, dinner to walk us through that. Yes, exactly.

5:07There are families on social media who are doing 90s-week and going all out. And I'm sure full-plat is included. But there is a full spectrum, as you said, where it can be things like screen-free zone in your home or making sure that there's no phones at the dinner table or having a particular night where it's your puzzle night or your reading night. Designating to small examples to intentionally bring this into your family is really powerful. And sometimes this might also try having an analog bag, meaning that when you know you're going out, you have an appointment grabbing a little bag that's full of sketchbook puzzles, little things to fidget with, being intentional about, where are these small pockets that we can just designate as either digitally-free or screen-free to bring in these pieces that help our attention,

6:11help our social skills, help our mood overall. And you know what I was thinking, as you're saying, this as well, is we should teach kids how to, if they want to speak to their friends. I mean, we can't bring back the road we phone, right? Because I also didn't make sense. Why 9-1-1, why the, in an emergency, why the nine was the longest a dial? And we'll never understand. But I will say this to be able to have to pick up a phone and speak to a parent before you speak to your friend. Right? That would be quite something. That would be... And this is something that I do with my kids. Yeah. And it's letting them text on my phone to their group chat. I will say, you use my phone, call that parent, ask to speak with your friend to ask that that question about homework. We gotta bring that down. There are small ways that we can do that, absolutely. Absolutely, because that kind of, just that communication, just voice to voice, and kind of, you know, it was always, it's politeness, but you had to sort of live in the discomfort of, oh, what do I tell the mom? Did you have a nice day? Like, we gotta bring that back. I love it. It's analog parenting.

7:12The 90s are all the rage they're back in style. Dr. Tamara Souls, child psychologist, follow along on Dr. Tamara Souls, Souls as S-O-L-E-S on Instagram for this content and a whole lot more. Thank you so much for taking the time. We're gonna give it a go at our house. We're gonna do it. Thank you. I'll text you. I'll be sending you some penic texts later on. Have a great Saturday. The newest tracks. Let's go. Music and the next big thing. Always on the new music first. Your first place to hear it all. Because you don't like it, love it, want to play it twice. Playing now. I heart new music. Your digital station for brand new drops, fresh vines, and tomorrow's bangers. I think we need something new. Discover I heart new music. Always fresh. Always first. Stream now on the free I heart radio app.