AEE 2579: Don't Undermine Your English: Listen Today!

0:00This is an All-Ears English Podcast episode 2579. Don't undermine your English. Listen today. Welcome to the All-Ears English Podcast. Downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection. With your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York Radio Girl, coming to you from Colorado and New York City, USA. To get real-time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All-Ears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven-day free trial at allyoursenglish.com, Bored slash app. Have you ever heard native speakers use the word undermine?

1:03Today, let's level up our vocabulary and find out how to use this word in the most harmless context and the most villainous. English is part of how you're evaluated, whether you like it or not. It meetings and interviews and negotiations. The question isn't whether your English is okay or good enough. It's whether it's working for you. Is it getting you the promotions and the salary raises that you deserve? If not, this is the year to do something about it. Our free two-minute fluency quiz shows you your true English level, B1, B2, or C1, and where you can level up for real-world success for your career or your global life in English. Take the quiz now for free at allhearsenglish.com slash fluency score. That's allhearsenglish.com slash F-L-U-E-N-C-Y-S-C-O-R-E.

2:14Hey, Lindsay, how are you? Doing good, Michelle. How are you? How's everything? I'm doing well, thanks. Lindsay, this is kind of a personal question. Have you ever known someone who constantly made you feel small? Wow, that's a deep question, Michelle. I know. I know. No, I guess I had a friend when I was really young who would brag a lot and that annoyed me, but I'm talking like I was seven years old, right? And she was like a braggar. What is bragging, Michelle, by the way? Oh, I'm the best at this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she would like, I would say something I wanted to do because I was just like a seven year old. I was like, I want to go to the movies tonight or I want to do something like I wanted to go skiing or something. You'll never be able to do that. She would do that. So that was actually because she was a naysayer. That's what the word a naysayer. So that really triggered me a lot because I don't like it when someone tells you you can't do something. Right? And so that was kind of, she was kind of undermining me a lot of times.

3:15But she was only seven. So this is kid stuff, right? But I still remember it. So yeah, yeah, you still remember it. Well, so yeah, we are going to talk about this word undermine. And this is a really useful word for that type of situation that Lindsay is talking about. And this came up because we spoke about it in a recent episode on Business English over on our other podcasts. Guys, if you haven't listened to the Business English podcast, you got to get on over there. We, you know, a business is real life. You know, and people work in the business world. It's not robots. We have to learn how to talk and build these relationships. Well, oh, yeah, that's true. I can't believe I just said that. So guys, but this was on episode 530, which was how not to step on toes at work with that we use this. Yes. And yes, you know, this word, you know, once we add this to your vocabulary today, guys, it's going to elevate your English 100%. It's a really good one to know at the B2C1C2 level. So let's get into it, Michelle.

4:15Okay. Yes. So according to the dictionary, we would define undermine as to make something, especially somebody's confidence or authority, gradually weaker or less effective. Wow. It sounds manipulative in a way, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah, it's not not great. So on that Business English episode, we were talking about undermining someone's authority, which is very common to say that undermining someone's authority. It's like, you know, someone's your boss, someone, you know, your teacher, whatever it is, and you're just kind of not doing what they say or making them look bad in some way. Yes, exactly, exactly. So we're going to get deeper into this in just a minute. But I do want to take an important minute to call out our amazing listeners, who took the time, Michelle, to go and leave us a review. These reviews came from Apple Podcasts. So guys, we love it when we see your ratings and your reviews of the show because it tells us if we're are we on track with the show, right?

5:18What do you want to hear? You can ask your question inside your review. So this review comes from Smile from China on January 5th, Five Star Review. Amazing. Thank you. And from Hungary, English was speaking you from January 4th in Apple Podcasts. This person says your podcast is always full of energy and tips. You provide such valuable resources for learners and teachers. This is a good show for teachers as well, guys. So if you're teaching, bring it into your classroom. Let your listeners know which episode you're going to talk about next week. Right? Tell them to study the episode. It's a great content piece. So the point is, guys, if you love our show, go and leave us a review wherever you listen and be sure to hit follow right here on the show. All right. Absolutely. Thank you guys so much. Yes. So when you undermine someone, it doesn't have to be super obvious that someone is being undermined. No, that's the cool thing about this, not the concept, but the word. It's flexible. This could be very subtle.

6:19And it often is in the adult world. In the kids world, like the story I opened up with. Right. Very obvious. Right. Kids are very obvious. But adults are much more subtle at times. But we can recognize it and label it as undermining. Right. Yes. Right. And I mean, is it always intentional? Does it, if someone undermines someone else, is it always that they are, you know, manipulative? No. Right. Manipulative is the worst version of it. Right. Because it's calculated. It's that you're trying to do it. You're scheming. But sometimes we're just undermining someone and not realizing we are. Right. Like maybe if we're a manager, we are always checking our employees' work and we're undermining their confidence because we're not letting them have the independence, we're making them feel like we don't believe in them. Right. But we're just, it's just our own control issues, maybe. Right. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Very interesting.

7:19So undermining. It can be calculated. It can be like, wow, I'm undermining you. But it can also just be villain or something. Right. And also just be totally innocent. You don't realize it. And maybe it needs to be brought to your attention. Yeah. And I think probably. Yeah. Yeah. I think most of the time, probably Michelle, it's that that people don't realize they're doing it. Yeah. Most people are good people. They don't want to hurt people, especially at work. Or it's, yeah. So probably like 75% of the time, it's unintentional. But it's good to call it out and approach the topic with someone. Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So let's give some more examples. Could be in other context. Lindsay, what's on the example? Well, we can undermine ourselves too. Right. So I tend to undermine myself when I don't feel confident. I say things like, I'm sorry, and I don't know. Yeah. And there are entire phrases. We've done episodes on, you know, phrases to avoid in this area that will cut us down. Like we'll degrade kind of our, like our authority or people's confidence in what we're saying.

8:19Or what we're doing. Right. Exactly. So yeah, you can undermine yourself for sure. Or here's another example. Her husband was always undermining her in front of her friends. He would say everything she was doing wrong. That's horrible. Geez. Okay. Hopefully no one's doing that. The way my friends spoke to me really undermined my confidence. I don't know that I want to continue to be friends with her. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Or she undermined the teacher by proving her wrong in front of the whole class. Now, this could just be an innocent. Oh, actually, you know, you said this, but actually the calculation is this, right? And the teacher might feel a little bit funny, but it wasn't, it wasn't with ill intent, but they might feel that they were undermined. Yeah. As we have the signature phrase might feel funny. Right. Feel funny as your signature phrase. Feel funny. That's my signature. Yep. And I want to say that's really cultural. So some cultures allow this sort of undermining of a thought, especially.

9:21So in an academic context, in some cultures, it's probably more okay than other cultures. Like certain institutions would probably encourage a dialogue back and forth between students and teachers. The teachers would challenge it. Sorry, the students would challenge the teachers. But that really depends on the institutional culture, the country culture, the language you're speaking, right? Yeah. It's really different. Yeah. Yeah. This is really interesting. Yeah. The cultural aspect on this. And then here, I thought of this one, focusing on perfection, not connection, can undermine how you learn a language. Ooh, good one. Right. I thought we flipped that in one connection, not perfection, of course, as our listeners know. Yeah. Michelle, for you, how does it feel to be undermined? Well, I mean, it doesn't feel great if it feels like, you know, if it's something that, like, yeah, if I were being... Like, let's say I were an example. If I were being like totally micro-managed or something like that, that wouldn't feel good.

10:24If I feel like it's because somebody doesn't have confidence in me, that's not going to feel good. Or if I feel like I've even... I read somewhere that said, do you have it with your partner? If your partner is telling a story and you know that part of the story is wrong, because you were there, do you correct in front of people? No. I... It depends who we're around. It depends, like, if we're around, like, family, and it's really not going to make a difference in how they see my partner, I might. But if it's different friends that maybe don't know us as well, I might avoid that. Yeah. My partner just tells the story, right? Right. Because, yeah, I remember I read somewhere that said that, like, with your partner, like, you shouldn't correct them. Like, when they're like... Yeah. And it's hard because sometimes, okay, if Dan's telling a story and he said, oh, we were there back in 2015 or something. And I know it was 2017. It's like... It's like... Who cares? Like, it doesn't... No one cares about the difference.

11:25But sometimes it's hard. You just want to be like, oh no, actually, but, you know, I try sometimes if there's something like that, to just say, okay, this is an important, this is nothing to do with the story. It's a minor detail. Right. And I don't need to correct. So, yeah, like, those... Because those types of things can build up if you're constantly... Yeah. No, it's actually this. It's actually that. No one wants that naysay or not even a naysay or just a... Yeah. It's someone just nitpicking everything, right? We don't want that. And this can really come alive in different spheres. You're talking about at home with your relationship with your family. We're talking about in the academic context, maybe a college class at work. Right. So, this undermine this word can be used in so many different contexts, Michelle. Yes. Exactly. Nice. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds. Because progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help when you need it.

12:28So, your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates, potential savings will vary. None available in all states or situations. All right. So, yeah. So, let's talk a bit about other ways to use this word or other things we might say if you want to always say. Yeah. So, I mean, there are other ways to use undermine. But we wanted to actually focus on this main one today. We can always do a follow-up. But let's talk about how else you can express this idea. Lindsay, what's something you could say. So, make someone feel small. This is what you asked me at the beginning of a show, I think. Make someone feel small. Her constant criticism made him feel small. And this is really bad, right? When it gets to a very pathological side of this concept. Or put someone down. He didn't mean to put his friend down, but he was just trying to be honest. And sometimes certain personalities might just like have a compulsive need to tell the truth.

13:31And there's less of a looking at nuances of feelings and people just tell the truth. So, they just have to do that. So, they end up undermining people. Especially if the people don't understand them very well, right? Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. And then there's just the word hurt, which could be useful as well. So, the third time he got a D on a test, it really hurt his confidence. So, you could say it undermined his confidence. I would say in the workspace, the word hurt becomes a little more emotional, right? So, undermine is probably better. Like, you say, my manager hurt me versus my manager undermined me. It's probably better to go with undermine in the workplace. Would you agree, Michelle? It's just hurt is a little, for me, is a little squishy. A little squishy. A little squishy. I don't know. Do you disagree? What do you think? No. I think especially if you're saying, like, oh, it hurt me. Yeah. I think that's like a little much, but if you're saying, oh, it hurt. I don't think that you... I mean, we could do a whole episode on the word hurt. Oh.

14:31We've never done that. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So, I think there's a lot that you could say, because sometimes it might be the best word to you. Yeah. Well, you see what you're saying here. So, if you're saying, my manager hurt my confidence, that's probably okay, right? Because you're not saying, like, hurt my heart or hurt me as a person. Right. Yeah. Okay. Got it. So, it got interesting, but we can talk about this more another day. So, let's do a role play. All right. Here we go. So, here in this context, you are complaining to me about our mutual friend. Okay. Let's see about this mutual friend. All right. I don't know. Sometimes she just makes me feel small. She does have a way of talking down to people. She definitely put me down before. Maybe we should talk to her. She should know that she's hurt us both. Yeah. And she always undermines me in front of other people, whether she means to or not. That's not good. Yeah. Then we got to figure this out. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's not something I would want to be friends with.

15:32No. No. No, no, no. Sure, not. So, we started by you said, I don't know. I sometimes she just makes me feel small. Yeah. And that's what, that's what to me is like, I don't use this one that much. All right. It's like a very dramatic to me. Yeah. This is small. But it is, you will hear it. Yeah. Exactly. It's very much on the villainous side of undermine. It's really on the like really extreme end. If someone is calculating and going to these lengths to make someone feel small. Yeah. You said before that undermine can be very subtle. It can be unintentional. Right. Yeah. Yeah. This is the opposite side of it. Really bad. Yes. Yeah. And then I said, no, you said she's definitely put me down before. Mm-hmm. So meaning insulted me, right? Insulted me. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So she should know that she has hurt us both. So here we are actually talking about the heart. I hurt you emotionally. Right. Because we're not here at work. Right.

16:32It's just friends. Mm-hmm. And then you said, yeah, and she always undermines me in front of people. Whether she means to or not. So we have to do something about this. Yes. Really interesting. And so a provocative question here. When it comes to the workspace, we're not publishing this on Business English. This is on Allers English. But it's interesting to think about if you are in a management position. Are there any things that you, like if you are undermining someone, like you're, if you're micromanaging someone, is it a skill you still need to work on for yourself? Like details. And if you're micromanaging someone else on their attention to details, is it something you're stressed about your ability to do? Is it a little bit of projection happening? Yeah. That's what I was going to say. Interesting. Yeah. And remember, you can check out that episode. It was 5.30 on Business English. It was how not to step on toes at work. Mm-hmm. All right. What do we leave our listeners with today, Lindsay? Well, I think that's kind of it like examining our own way of like what's going on in our own hearts.

17:32If we're like, if we seem to be undermining someone, is it coming from somewhere or something that needs to be addressed inside ourselves? That's the interesting thing, right? Yeah. If we address that, would that go away? Would that like undermining someone go away? Right. So that's because they're like an internal thought today, I think. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. All right. Well, yeah. Glad we spoke about this today, Lindsay. And yeah, hopefully no one makes you feel small today. The same for you, shall I? Yeah. I want you to not encounter that at all today. We hope for the best. Yes. Helping for the best. All right, guys. Have a great day. We'll see you on the next one. All right. Bye. Take care. Bye. Bye. Thanks for listening to All Ears English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two-minute quiz. Go to allearsenglish.com forward slash fluency score. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything.

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