A Thousand Words — Abi Roberts (Part 1 of 3)

0:00Tyler Reddick here from 2311 Racing. Another checkered flag for the books. Time to celebrate with Jamba. Jump in at JambaCasino.com. Let's Jamba. No purchase necessary, BTW Group. Boy, we're prohibited by law. CCNC, 21 plus sponsored by JambaCasino. We're gonna be chastised by the truth of slash, freedom, slash cult. Oh, well, that's already happened to me. Yeah, it has, yes. This is like a therapy session. Yeah. People that have survived the truth and movement. On the phone, I said, Terry's dead is, and then I laughed, but you know, rabbit holes are underground. You know, they're the opposite way to spirituality, which is that way. Then this, I find this pickable. And I, I mean, woman behind me was crying. So I just, without sounding like I'm not Mother Teresa. Thank God, because he's right. Sorry, everyone. In conjunction with the 1000 words, the righteous brothers

1:01recently exhibited at the Truman Brewery's Pittlefield. So it was a great week meeting so many light-minded people. We're giving away a free show poster to anyone who orders posters, prints, or original art from the website until further notice. We also have packs of cards featuring the righteous brothers artwork and framed fake 50 pound notes, guaranteed to get conversation started. Head to therighteousbrothers.uk and see if anything takes you fancy. If you consider in commissioning a portrait, go to my personal site, jakefern.co.uk, where you can find more information on the simple process of creating a unique centerpiece for any home, something to treasure for a lifetime. The, the resemblances are uncanny, but I think just the spirit, just the, the, the thoughts that are evoked, not just by 1000 words, but also the righteous brothers works as well. They're so provocative and evocative. I'm sure you can pick up the bars on the, on the sound here this evening. It's a really electric atmosphere. That's actually fantastic. I'm a little bit lost in this town.

2:21This is going to be our same chick. I'm going to go to the foot to the fortunate sun. It ain't me, it ain't me. I ain't no senator sun. It ain't me, it ain't me. I'm not a fortunate one. It's a senator to cut to some Vietnam, some helicopter noises. I just really like how talented Phil Collins is singing and playing drums. I tried to join in, I completely lost it.

3:23It is weird isn't it? I know you've got an amazing voice, I've heard you sing. Do you play in this room? No, not really. It's a much of my father's chagra because it's weird. One of those things where it just became the instrument. It's just like I feel like I'm kind of playing it weirdly. Of course it is an instrument, are we playing by the way? You don't play an instrument but you sing wonderfully. That's the intro. I could feel the shift. It was like so. You don't play, you don't play an instrument. But you do sing in a wonderfully resonant way. Are we filming by ourselves? Yes, my father was a guitarist and played piano quite well. A new form of harmony. It doesn't think he's dead. It doesn't think he's dead.

4:23No, it's very much alive. Even though he does have a face that looks like wax. It's kind of melting off. It looks better since he went grey. He let himself go grey. Oh yeah, exactly. It's very strange when people do that. It makes men look when they die their hair like. Is it Halloween? Who's the character in Halloween? I don't watch horror movies. He lost on you. Basically he's just got a white face. The baddie. But very dark hair. That's what I always think. Dracula look. No, he's completely not like that at all. Horror, I'm just thinking horror movies. That's Dracula in it. We're going down a quite a normy route. Although I don't like the word normy. What we have already. We're talking about Hollywood movies. We're going to be chastised by the truth. Slash freedom, slash cult. That's already happened. It doesn't matter. No, it's your broad stroke.

5:23I'm going to get more free fresh. Oh god. Yeah, so my dad knew the Beatles. Because he was a session guitarist. Are we actually new to Beatles? Not just Paul McCartney. He's just a stalk Paul McCartney. Oh Chris, it's you again. Outside of my... But you need more than one. Yeah, knew all of them. He knew all the Beatles, including the fake one. Isn't it the guy from the ones that I do die band? He's meant to be. He's meant to be the... He's meant to be McCartney. Yeah, great songs. It's kind of weird, isn't it? It's like saying Mozart. Probably wasn't the real. Mozart wasn't real. And then, so I'm never going to listen to any Mozart again. Don't you? Yeah, I don't know if people don't listen to the Beatles because of the... Some people have probably heard of their lives.

6:23That's true, they do, don't they? Yeah. And that bit I don't... I'm afraid I do not pass the purity test. No. The truth of purity test. Well, this is one of the reasons why I thought we'd have a good conversation. Because I don't think I do either. No. He's always subtly putting down the truth. They're sort of like... I'm not at all. I'm just trying to be... I'm not a subtle at all. No. I just think discernment is something to cherish, you know? Yeah. And everything's up for debate. Yeah. That's my opinion. It seems like you're coming from a separate place. 100%. Everything's up for debate. It's forming groups. I was thinking about this the other day. Or we'll get back to the Beatles in a minute. Yeah. You'll find those with me. My brain goes ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, to, you know, pinball kind of machine.

7:25The other day, the formation of sort of cults and purity is just what the Bolsheviks did. It's what many, you know, revolutionary groups... Zellers groups do political groups. And they form... They start to behave like the people that they're opposing. Yeah. So they accuse people of, you know, you're stopping us saying things and you're silencing us and you're censoring us. And then they do exactly the same thing. And thus, and I speak about this, a lot on my podcast, Abby Daly, Available On Surface Deck, and other good podcast places. Have you got t-shirts? I'm gonna have some merch filled off for three years. And then someone said, we really want a t-shirt with sweet home, Abby Bama. That's my theme tune. I started recording it on an iPhone 6 in March 2022,

8:25into my iPhone. And literally, it's when, oh, what would it be? What would it be? Sweet home. Down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down. Sweet home. Abby Bama. Where the skies are so blue, good evening, and welcome to it. And the thing is, it was like... So it's like a half... It's not even a full verse. A little bit of a cover. I know you should've done that. I should've done the whole thing. You'll have to... You'll have to do it with us. We'll learn it. The next time we do a festival, you can... I love that. Anyway, we're just discussing what cake. Anyway. It's good to get my manager. Yeah, get my manager to call me. Vicky. Yeah. So that was the... I mean, I love that song. It's like, yeah, I'm Alabama. Yeah. One of the classics. But I don't... That's back to the purity thing with this...

9:26The truth, whatever the movements are. I'm seeing... I'm seeing stuff that I don't really like. I'm seeing censorship. I'm seeing sort of... I don't know. Can't you take the piss out of people without being accused of centering them? I mean, I take the piss. I think we should be able to go, that's mad. What are you talking about? And then, not be accused of centering. Uh-huh. Or gatekeeping. Or gatekeeping. I can hear that. King phrase. One's more. Or gatekeeping. And it's... You know, I've done nothing. Well, and I've got people, as you know, we've got people in common who we know. Um... I don't know if I can name names. Um... Yeah, I mean, James Dillingpole, who... You know, I got to know him pretty well back in sort of... I didn't know him at all. I knew him because of Watermelons. His great book about... Yes. The environmentalist scam. And, um... Yeah, I... I just...

10:26I did his podcast. It must have been end of last year. And it just got very... Um, I wasn't going to talk about this, but I just think it's important that I... Okay. I... Well, you're talking about it now, tough shit. But I just don't like that kind of thing. Well, you know. Uh, so I just think to say it, just be, you know, be frank about it. If this isn't the time to be... Mm-hmm. ...everything cards on the table. I'll just say, well, I don't know what it is. Especially... Exactly. Especially anyone who's involved in the movement. I mean... I think it's important. Yeah, exactly. It's a really... No, exactly. I think it's important. And as you rightly said to do with, um, the two main prongs are sovereignty and God. Those two prongs, I think of what attaches us... Yeah. ...to everything true... That's true, true, good and beautiful. Yeah. And if we start veering off, not that you can't veer off, I say to people, fill your boots. I don't give a shit if you think the earth's a rectangle.

11:26Or that, um, you know, the rolling stones, I don't know, didn't ever exist. Or, um, that doesn't mean any number of things. Yeah. I don't care. But I'm not... I don't make me agree with you. Because that's the behavior of... Yeah. ...of the zealot. Yeah. And don't... Don't dump your emotional shit on me. Yeah. You know? This is like a therapy session. Yeah. People that have survived... ...the truth and movement. Yeah, I... So I was on the... So I was on the pod, down the pod. And, um, it was actually to promote We The People. It was to, um, my book, which I gave you and your wife a copy of, which is now We The People, which... Yes, very lovely. ...letters from dystopia, with Bob's excellent cartoons in them. Mm-hmm. Letters from people who wrote to me, um, about the lockdowns, about vaccines, about the shit show, uh, 2020, and just awful. We've had to put warnings throughout the book the Samaritans and... It threw out it just to encase people,

12:26because it's such heavy reading. Mm-hmm. So I went on the pod, and I don't have any pod to do this. Um, and, um... I think it's really interesting. I sent him a copy. I'm not even sure if he's read it. Um, the... the book. Which is fair enough, you know, people are busy. But... Then halfway through, we got talking about... Well, because I did... I did... to question him about the... about Manchester Arena bombing, and the idea that... the little girl wasn't real, that she'd been made up. Safi's... Safi Rousseau's... Right, is this the Richard D. Hall kind of? Yeah, Richard D. Hall stuff about the, um... Okay. Let's look at body language, and let's look at how people react when they've had terrible, um, you know, appalling things have happened to them. And actually, on a sidebar, I was writing, because I'm... I've actually just finished a book, which is going to be released in October. Um... It's sort of a memoir,

13:26in essays. Um... It's kind of like, defines the description. It's got like a weird... Hotch-potch of... my life... quotes... philosophy, politics. But all... It's only about 80 pages long. But in it, I was writing... It needs to be longer than that. Eh? It doesn't need to be longer than that. I mean, it's actually... I was like, oh, I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored already. I'm bored myself. Of it. Um... But... But I was writing in that, and where was I going with this? You know, I do this on my book. Yeah, I know. I was talking about... Um... Manchester Arena. Yeah. Or, I know, how people react in... in tragic circumstances. Uh-huh. When... So, I was... It's quite a difficult thing I was writing, because it was about my own husband's death. Yeah. So, when I came home, my darling husband, who was my manager, um... Uh-uh, in stand-up. He was my stand-up comedy agent manager, booker, everything. Um, most brilliant man, Terrence Gibbons,

14:26Jordy, who I met in 2009, who were married. So, he passed away, end of 2018. And, um... I, Kate, he'd been treated for long. I say, treated by the cancer business. Okay. And it is a business, which we know. I've been treated, um, in inverted commas. And then, I came home one day, and he died on our bedroom floor. And, the world, as people know, watching, it stops. You, you, you think it hasn't happened. What am I seeing? I'm, you know, your brain kind of takes, it protects you in some weird way. I remember, this is just in relation to this ridiculous, um... thing about conspiracy theorists, you know, behavioural experts, body language and stuff. I rang a friend, must have been a mutual friend, about ten minutes later, and, um, on the phone, I said, um, Terry's dead,

15:27is, and then I laughed. And if anyone had been watching that, listen to that, they would have gone, or subsequently, they would have gone, ooh, I need to... Jupiter's delight. I'll be, and I'm telling you now, people that say that, have no... insight into human behaviour. In fact, in a weird way, they're removing themselves, from what it is to be human. When you, you know the phrase, I cried, I cried laughed, I laughed crying, cried laughing, both things interchangeable. All it is is a release. Oh yeah, to the release, yeah. And you can't, someone, you can't control, with the, the sad face of the teeth. It's not an emoji. You're not sort of being, it's not an automaton. And that's what angers me, because to me, the truth of this whole, analysing people's body language, it's going further away from God, not closer. It's sort of, what, making people, sort of automotons, or mistrusting your fellow.

16:28You can, by all means, mistrust politicians, and, you know, doctors who push vaccines, and... Yeah. And the media, have some skepticism, and, but even they're human. And God, I just said, I have just a little bit of mouth over there. Don't say that. You know, don't say that. Yeah, shut down. Yeah. Yeah, no, I agree with that. Although having said that, I think that, I mean, that's not, and you're probably, probably not dismissing all body language. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But it's just kind of pseudo- oh, I'm the clever, conspiracy theorist. Yes. No, I'm not, yeah, and I'm not pointing that at Richard E. Hall, there's a lot of stuff that he's done. I like, and I haven't, I don't know this, I haven't looked at the Manchester stuff, and I don't know, but what you're talking about. What you're talking about, stuff is useful. You know, I think he's probably genuine, I don't know. Yeah, yeah. But there is an element, isn't there where people like to be the clever, conspiracy theorist. Mm-hmm. And they hear one thing,

17:29and it's what I call, and what others have called, the kind of second matrix, kind of mindset, where you... Yeah. You just like to... You kind of jump on... on the next belief system. Yeah. And it kind of bolsters you in the same way that the first matrix bolstered you and made you... But didn't you... I think, didn't I... Comment on that. You know, when you... I was on Substack, or you said, and I've actually used, I did quote you, I think, I did credit you for this thought, because you know how someone was, the people, you people go, anyway, I said that, like 10 minutes ago. I don't know. Yeah, it was a brilliant thing, which I did put on, saying what Paul got about there, being, you leave one matrix and you join a second one. So you build your own... It seems to be like... You build another one. Yeah. Don't you think? Yeah, I do. I do. And maybe that's a natural process, you know, and slowly, the matrix is on matrices. Yeah. Get... Get weaker, as you... as you get further along the line. And you go, hang on there. I'm on matrix 42, at the moment. I'm almost there. Like the boosters. Yeah, like the boosters, yeah.

18:29I'm on matrix 47. Hang on a bit. I didn't take any other vaccines, but I seem to have also found myself similarly strapped in a way of thinking. Yeah. So that's, you know, it's a really, really, really excellent point that you made. And I just... And I think about things a lot. I sort of saw that and went, oh, let's have a little think about that and what that means for people. I mean, I think... I've said this, again, this is a wall back, much to the slight disappointment of various parts of the movement. But, you know, rabbit holes are underground. You know, they're the opposite way to spirituality, which is that way. And also, what, you know, standing firm on the ground and grounding, and you know all that sort of stuff. And everything is happening here, isn't it? And, transcendently, you know, transcendently up there. So when you're down a rabbit hole, you're in the dark,

19:30you're covered in rabbit shit. You're probably going to meet a few moles. And you might get stuck down there and never come back up. You might get stuck down there and say, oh, you're covered in soil. Yeah. And, yeah, and it's... I think it's just that thing of being a little bit aware of your own sanity, you know, sort of where you're... where's this going? And also, by all means, dock down there and have a little scrabble around. But maybe don't... maybe don't live down there. Yeah. I mean, that's just... that's my take on things. Yeah. Maybe I'm just not as robust as some people. No, I think it's... I think it's... it's known your priorities. Yeah. And people are at different places on the journey, aren't they? Yeah. And there's a time where you probably do spend a lot of time down rabbit holes. Yeah. You know, maybe at the start of your journey. Yes. It was great. I just read a really good CS Lewis quote, and I wish I could read it. I saved it.

20:30But it is basically saying... I think it's like a fictional character who's telling people how to... how easy it is just to get absorbed. You think you're doing the work and you're criticizing the powers that be and you're... you're critiquing society. But a lot of the time it's just another way of avoiding looking at your own shit. Yeah. He says it more eloquently than that. Obviously it's CS Lewis. He's in the game of your own shit. That feels bad. Yeah. But it's... Yeah, he's... he's got a point. We're back to the... we're back to the God thing again. It's a God thing. That's not... that's not a very good way of trying me either. But it's... It's like an American bestseller. Yeah, the God thing. The God thing. Hey man. Come to my true original. I'll tell you. Just give me a lot of money. And you'll suddenly find your own paradise. Yeah. I... I... I say... More probably now.

21:30Because let's use that you rightly say. We're all on a different part of our journey. Path. Understanding of sort of what's happened. Because don't forget the last five years has been at the shit show. I was thinking on the way on the train. Holy shit. I'm surprised that a lot of us haven't... all had nervous breakdowns. Yeah. I think if he hadn't had one beforehand. No. You certainly... It's coming up. She's praying to have one. Yeah. And there's that real one. I think people... Yeah, need to understand. This whole sort of psychotic mass psychosis. Whatever you think is behind... I've got my theories about what's behind it all. You know, there's kind of collectivist. If we're thinking in terms of politics. You know, there's this idea that we need to control the greatest number of people using technology and for the greater good mechanisms. I think CS Lewis might even have a first though. They're the greater good.

22:30Right. Was it the greatest tyranny or something? Is the people that tell you they're going to do it for you? They're going to do it for your own good. They're greater good, yeah. The greater good. So that's kind of what we're seeing in political terms. Fabians were a society in the 1840s. Yeah. They influenced Mao. Who in turn then used their long march stuff with the cultural revolution. And then you get to... So it's quite interesting to look at the way the elites want to control us. And it all comes down to the board, down to one thing. They're trying to get us further away from God and closer to... Shit. Yeah. To the... To the... To the... To the diabolical. Yeah. And the stuff that is not transcendent. So not human understanding and holding people's hands

23:30and saying good morning as somebody passes and good afternoon helping people across the road. If you say good morning then you're obviously satanic. Yeah. Exactly. You have to say grand risings. Otherwise you're... You're rising to everybody. See that's another... Make point in this out. Yes. His latest... One of his little rants. Yes. Was it grand rising? You fucking think, can't... Something like that. It's like... That's not my pick. It just sound like a pick. Then I'm wrong as you think, can. But you know, I think there's a good point. He made a really good point. That... If we get so obsessed. If we... If we hand over our power to the point where we think someone can literally put a spell on us by saying good morning. Yes. You know, then we're screwed, aren't we? Yes, we're screwed. And that's not just the...

24:30The powers that be. No, that's us. That's us. That's us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good morning. Literally good morning. I mean, do we even need to analyse it? No. And even if it did come from morning, M.O. M.O. You are. Even if it did. Yeah. It doesn't mean that anymore. When you say... When you see someone you love and... Or you send an out happy feelings to someone walking by and you go, good morning. Well, we've won. Because we've... Exactly. You know, we've reversed it. Yeah. We've reversed the spell. So just chill out. Chill the fuck out. And stop looking at... Is this crazy paranoia that everything is... And actually, you're right. It's taking away what's behind good morning. Behind it. Yeah. By essentially using... It's weak. I've just thought, yeah, you... It's using the same tactics that the Marxists use. Of course it is. To change language. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With the woke stuff. That's what's happening in the...

25:30Yeah. In the... In the... The truth of the movement. Yeah. Whatever whatever you want to call it. True. I mean, even... I quite like freedom movement. But... I like freedom. I like freedom movement. I like meat it. I like the folk I've met. And if I don't feel relaxed with somebody or I can... You know, they're like, I can't say when I want to say... For fear of... And I'm talking about any group of people. Yeah. I know there's something wrong. If I feel... Yeah. Shall I... I don't know. Shall I say that? You know? Yeah. We shouldn't be... Second guess. Or something. Yeah. Especially not within groups where people are professing to... Yes. Be searching for truth. Searching for... Yeah, exactly the truth. Yeah. And it would be good, you know, to... If these people... Well, they are... Talk about... God more... Sovereignty more... Basic principles. The principles of... I think as well, there's a lot of... I just...

26:30I tweeted something earlier on. I'm not a big Twitter. I thought I was knocked off... I was thrown off Twitter twice... In the last five years because... In the previous... You know, before Mosque. Oh, okay. Yeah. So I had a big... Very big following and then... Said, I just... I just put... Tweeted every day... Stop the jobs... And then the next day... Stop the jobs. The next day... And then... This way he had such a big followed. Really gripping. Really gripping stuff. Funny stuff. Just kidding. The hilarious stuff. What the hell was going on? But it was like this kind of like obsession. You know, like Tourette's... There was a few fucking... Stop the fucking jobs. Oh, okay, okay. Oh, okay. And then... I varied it with... Stop the jobs... You know, all the way... And with it... Now I can understand why the following was... It was very... It was great writing. It was literally genius... Every day. And then I just got... And then I just got a note one day... And in fact, I just disappeared. Did you really get a little note saying... We've... We've suspended your account.

27:31Yeah. Yeah, you've been... Actually, that's it. Yeah. So that was an interesting experience. It affects you a little bit, doesn't it? It's hard to sort of get your head around to... Because you feel... I don't know about you, but... When things like that happen to me... There's a time when I... As well with Twitter. Yeah. And it sort of took me back to being a kid and just like... Oh, it's not fair. No, I don't want you to smell things. Yeah. Just really. Yeah. Oh, no, I'm going to have to sit next to Sarah Trump's foot. Sarah Treyfoot has the name of one of... Right, yeah. And I just remember that name. It was very nice, actually. Sarah Treyfoot. Yeah. Yeah. Listen next to her. If you're listening. If you're listening. Sometimes I wonder whether people that's all think like... How many people are sort of aligned in the basics. You know, I... Anyway. But people have messaged me. I've had... That the... The wife or ex-wife of... Quite a big comedy promoter...

28:31Messaged me and said, Oh, Abby, thank God. You're saying this stuff because... Okay. This is a while back. It's difficult though. It's really difficult because you sort of... You've got your own... I sometimes feel... And if you feel as Jake. But I think also being on my own. I do sometimes feel a little bit like I'm... The... You know, the... The waters are rising a bit. You know, with... What to cope with. So then I have to just sort of go... Right, I'm off social media. And I'm just shutting everything out for my own sanity. Well, yeah. I can imagine that... You've got, you know, a profile. You're a bit more in the public eye. I can imagine that you would need to do that. Yeah. I don't need to do that. I just... Just ignore it all. Just ignore it all. Just ignore it all. Yeah. But, um, I know what you mean. I don't really... It doesn't... I don't get too drawn into stuff. No. But I can imagine if you, you know, you've got a... What is your career? You know, it's your life. It's your career, isn't it? Yeah.

29:31Yeah. It's weak as I was thinking on the way, on the train, which is... Oh, that bloody awful dystopian train... You know, the thing goes... See it, say it sorted. Fuck, see it, fuck it. So I had to calm down a bit. I don't know what I arrived at. You did, yeah. You needed to detox the... detox and you gave me some... Ashwander. See it, I... I'm using Ashwander. Thank you. Ashwander. Ashwander and something. What's it called again? Ashwander. That sounds too much like Ashwanko. Ashwanko. Ashwanko. It wasn't Ashwanko. It was delivered, whatever it was. It was great. Ashwander. What was it? Oh, Ashwander. I love that. The comedy voice of... So that's my team manager. Offstage. Ashwander, for heaven's sake, Abby. Yes, it was very... It was very calming because, you know, you've come from London. Good. I came from London. I was like this. Although I had a very nervous chat with a cab driver. Who said he was... We chatted about God. And he said, he said, well, I am a Muslim, but I don't... I don't have a go to the mosque. So I thought...

30:31It's very, very enough. Yeah. Just to... What's the word? Well, people have preconceptions about things. That's very important, isn't it, too? When you speak to people, listen to what they're telling you as well. Don't assume... Very important things. Yeah. Now, yeah, because I've... I've found that with... Let's say when I've researched some stuff. And I'm comparing information. Yeah. And one guy might be... I might have so little in common with. He might be jabbed up. He might believe in everything that I had a question. Yeah. But he might be speaking sense. He might be talking sense about this issue. About this issue. And I have to listen to that. Yes. I'm going to go right... I'm going to put that aside. I'm not going to go... Yeah, you're going to quit. You're right. I'm going to discount you. I'm just going to discount you. Even though you're a fellow human being. Yeah. And what the other thing you're saying is going to be helpful

31:33in the long term, the bigger picture. Yeah. And I'm guilty of it. Honestly, Jake, I've been terrible in my previous Twitter on clinicians saying, oh, you fucking... Wankers. Oh, you took the jab. You've hit the jab. You know, and then at one point, I think it was 2022. I went to some event. And I think it was with the vaccine injured. And people were laughing at the people who'd be injured. From people for more... This... And I... I met a woman behind me who was crying. So I just... Without sounding like I'm not Mother Teresa. Thank God. Yeah. But I... Sorry, everyone. To see... To... Yeah, anyone who thought you was nice. I sort of turned around and... You know, it sort of held a... It was just the humane thing to do. But it was then, I thought, oh, this is interesting. We're not remembering there, but for the grace of God,

32:33go us. Who saw it. I thought, that doesn't sound right. Not everyone did. Not everyone had the... Maybe the luxury or the... Maybe they had 95 jobs working in hospital. Hospital's driving cabs. Parents abroad. Yeah. All this stuff, you know, and the propaganda got seeped in, which it was designed to do. But I certainly don't... That was a bit of a turning point for me. Yeah, right. So there was a turning point. So that probably, in a way, it's quite a big turning point. Just philosophically for your whole life, isn't it? It's quite a step to go from that. So they're the problem of anger, externalization. And externalization. Detachment. Dehumanization. Exactly, and especially about, because yeah, it was anger. It was the anger that was doing it. It was sort of making me go, oh, yeah. And I suppose also that thing, that human, very human thing of going, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't have them, so therefore, I must have pure blood.

33:36I must be, actually, I'm going to rise myself up on a cloud and just be surrounded by, and it's absolute horseshit. But the amount of people who've got high on their own supply is fucking unreal. And as my husband, Terry, to say, check yourself before you wreck yourself. Still say that to him. So that's his to this day. And he's right. You know, at some point, it's going to be you looking in the mirror. What's that? Yeah. What's happening? Is that a decent thing? Is that decent? Yeah. And like I said, I do reserve much of my anger for medics, for the people that just went here, have them and politicians and the media, because they were sort of part of the propaganda exercise. The other people, the decent folk, I just think could have been

34:40any of us. You know? But that line that you've just drawn is a hard-wanted determined, isn't it? That line between, where does it become? So, you know, what point do people become complicit in a kind of conscious way? Yeah. And I have to say for me, in a way, I'm not sure that ever gets to that point. Because I think, I used to listen to a guy called Patrick Timpony. And his sort of thing that he used to say was everyone's doing the best they can. Yeah. And it's a strange one to get your head round. And it's hard when you feel like, you know, there's people out there doing bad stuff. Yeah, doing terrible things. But in a way, he's kind of right. Everyone is doing the best they can. And it goes right to, I think you could argue, it almost goes to, even the psychopath who's doing whatever they're doing, the worst crime. Yeah. They're doing the best they can. Otherwise, they wouldn't be doing it. Yes. No, I'm not trying to excuse you. No, this is where I get accused of all you're making excuses.

35:40No, this is what good in the old days would be called good rational thinking. I mean, difficult ideas, grappling with them with these moral ethical ideas. Yeah. It wasn't as, I mean, I think, yeah, the most interesting people look at these things. I mean, Saul Jannitson said, you know, the human heart, good and bad, wrong through the human heart, it's sort of, you know, through each. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's for us to, I suppose everyone, you know, we all have choices we make. We do. Yeah, we do have choices on every any given day. And choices have consequences. And choices have consequences. And obviously, if there's going to be people on the psychopathic spectrum, who's, who don't have a conscience the way we think of it. Yeah. So, I mean, someone like Ted Bundy, I think, would, would, would, would, would, would get falling into that category where I think he almost sort of didn't even really understand.

36:44And because I, you've murdered all these people, these, all these women, yeah. I'm usually with them. So, you know, and I'm now going to represent myself in court. Because he was such a, you know, psychopathic. Right. So, an narcissistic psychopathic. And obviously, but that's very, very, we're all on a spectrum. He was right on the other end. And I find this stuff fascinating. I do, yeah. We're all kind of not, we're all a mixture of everything. You know, so nobody knows, you know, however far you dig for the truth, you know, about various things that have happened in the world. Guess what? You never, you're never going to find it because that, it's been designed that way, you know, for, for, sort of, you're not going to find it intellectually. No, it's like, you're not going to find it intellectually and go, oh, there you go. See, I can lay it all out in a, in a, in a, sort of like an equation. So, looking outwards, the, the transcendent, priced sitting in a church,

37:45being quiet, like I did on the way here in Victoria, in Westminster and Cathedral, will, that gives you the sustenance you need. That's it. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's where it's at. Yeah, well, we'll, we'll talk about, we'll talk about that in a second. Yeah. I mean, the, but go and just quickly going back to judgment. Yeah, yeah. We're drawn to this idea of, of trying to understand the world and make judgment. And I don't think making judgments is a bad thing, but when we, um, I've been listening to a lot of NDE's near death experience, or rather, Vic has been listening and I listen to snippets. Yeah. But one thing that, one thing that is, is, um, reoccurrent, is this idea that in the, in the life review, you're not, whatever you've done, there isn't a, a sort of damacles, you know, there isn't a, a, you're not punished. Yeah.

38:45You're, you're suffering is the punishment. You're, you're reliving the experience from the other person's perspective with an open heart. Yes. Is the punishment. It's not punishment, but it's, yes, yes. It's the consequence. Yeah. And it's a natural consequence where we have to, and I, and I can't help, but try, you know, I, I feel I have to, that makes so much sense to me. Yeah. I have to try and put that into practice in my normal life. Yeah. So, you know, in a sense, someone might do something really bad. Yeah. But not, not to excuse the action. Yes. And not to try and, um, um, somehow. Anyway, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Just, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're very profound. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably, yeah, I was going way there. Yeah. Um, you know, we, we have to, there has to be some form of,

39:45of societal judgment. Yes. You know, so someone commits a crime. There has to be a consequence. Yes. Whether that's they go to prison and they're, they're ostracized from society. I mean, that's the difference, isn't it? With, with modern society, because we haven't really got, and close in it, cultures that we, you know, or, or villages. We're not in villages. Yes. Someone can just waltz in, commit a crime, and then waltz out again. Exactly. Whereas you couldn't do that. We had a natural inbuilt, um, consequence. Yes. You do something wrong to the, to the village. To the village. You'd be in the stock. You're stuffed. You're stuffed, aren't you? You've got nowhere else to go. Yeah. It's very instant karma. Yeah. And then they put the people in stalks. Yeah. And then they just throw, like, I don't know, like wooden stalks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But then they wouldn't be trusted. So they couldn't know that agency in life would be limited. Yes. Until they proved otherwise. Yeah. Otherwise. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas we're in a, to a bit of a strange situation at the moment. Oh, we were. We're nobody. Consequences are all external governments huge.

40:45Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, everything that follows from that. Yeah. There's no sort of localization of, of anything. No. It's all kind of, it's, it's gone from tiny, tiny God family, um, community, you know, community. Oh, you know, there's a list of things. Mm-hmm. And it's switched, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, and, and generally people don't, and it's gone so far down that road that most people don't, aren't even capable of stepping back and going, oh, that's a little bit of topsy turn. Yes. Yeah. That's just the way it is now. Yeah. So therefore we have to have all these crazy legislation and these crazy rules and laws. Yes. Yes. Um, and I was, um, I was just thinking then I think some of my, it's going to be interesting. Actually, when people watch this back, no, no, no one's watching it. No one's watching it. Exactly. The cameras aren't running. Yeah, they're running. You can see what the fuck you want. Oh my God. Um, how, um, uh, the, yeah, people might be surprised to hear me and say that it's all,

41:52or possibly disappointed, which is that I think. It must have been disapproving. Disapproving. Disapproving. Disappointing. Where I say, do you say it? Which is fine. I'm okay. Um, that, that, a lot of my anger toward, including, I was very angry with Andrew Bridgham. Because not, not because he, um, he, he, you know, eventually went, oh my God, what's that? You know, um, with the vaccines and the, but because, because he voted for the three, um, lockdowns. So it's on record. He voted for them and voted for compulsory injections for care home workers. Oh, did. And then, yeah, and then also, but I'm saying this, no, but there's, there's, there's kind of a, I'm saying this. Oh, I know, I know there's a, I know. Yeah, yeah. Not to not to get him in the stocks. Oh, no, I know that. Um, but because I just didn't realize that. To explain to people, um, because his journey's been a huge one.

42:52It's been, it's been a big one. Um, and there were people before him who were raising the alarm. Um, about the vaccines, but, but sort of, but they weren't as good at. Sort of putting themselves forward. Um, and this is where I come to the interesting part, which is. That just, so I've, I've said to him, I've said, not face to face, but I've said. In messages, if you. Face the muse, sort of face the, the, you know, the, the public or whoever had been affected in lockdowns. And some people who letters are in. We the people. Um, a lady who son took his own life during one of the lockdowns. So it feels very, very angry about it. Yeah. If people like Andrew Bridget and there are others said. Sorry. Like, said sorry. But also, so almost more than that. May God forgive me. Yeah. In front of people.

43:54My, that, that would, that, in a way, that would make, that would make my, my sort of. My anger sort of subside more. Yeah. Um, because it's like with, it's like with the truth and reconciliation thing in South Africa. You know, when, um, Desmond Tutu. Uh, I was there earlier this year. South Africa. Fascinating, looking at some of the parallels. Um, when the whole apart, I think, fell apart. And these awful truths came out about how Winnie Mandela knows Mandela's wife had essentially murdered people who weren't. This is an interesting. We're back to the truth that we're back to the Puritan side. Yeah. Yeah. She had people murdered who haven't been quite on message enough with, um, with the new regime. Sure. That was, that was, that was sort of the rebellion, guess what?

44:56Um, and there's a moving, honestly, I was in tears because Desmond Tutu. Sit in facing Winnie Mandela. Right. And says. Right. Please. And he's got this very, he's got a slightly less, please. Winnie. We've been friends for how many years? And there's very calm voice, unlike me. We were like, Winnie. It's been a good question. Yeah. Do like it. But he's very, he says, please Winnie, for your own sake. Say sorry. And, and accept the part you played in what happened. And she, you could see her pride. She's there going, you know, in the dress, in the fine room, that no normal blacks are African, good of water, by the way. Yeah. And she said.

45:57Okay. I admit, you know, I was there. It was about a particular murder. This young kid. It had just been bottled into a car in one of the townships. She said, I confess. I admit, um, and she's virtually useless. I'm sorry. But you could, it was so difficult for, and he just went. And it was. And I think that. I can't make people do that. I can't. Nobody can. It's with, it's on, it's with people's consciences. But I'm not going to stay angry at individuals forever. And to be honest, I, I, I kind of bought this up. Because in a way, I want to forgive Andrew Bridgian. I want to, I, I, you know, if I was a politician, maybe, who knows me, maybe I would have done the same thing. I don't know because I'm, it's a hypothetical question.

46:57Yeah. Um, I know, uh, I've, Doc Malik expressed similar sentiment to, um, about, is it Malottra? Yes, Mahottra. He was another one that I've had, um, yes. So I've had a similar journey with, um, and I put in, wrote in my book. It's interesting because this book that's like mem, sort of essays and memoirs. I've put, there's quite a few things I've put where I'm starting to realize a, a little, little path I'm on. But other people may not join me on, but I have to be on, which is the, the, the path to forgiveness, um, wanting redemption for people. And because I'm a Christian and to do otherwise would be, um, a very hypocritical and terrible. Imagine if I was just like, it was quite big on that, wasn't it? Yeah, but he was quite big on that, you know, Christ. So, so, so there's, there's, um, it's a, you know, that's, I think that's, that's part of who I am.

48:00But there's, thankfully, I do at various stages and I recognize it. Have to sit down with my own anger and my own prejudices and, um, disappointments and, um, which is only natural because, and as I say on my podcast, there's nothing new under the sun. No. For all regimes, you know, Stalinism, you know, the Bolsheviks, the after revolution, you know, all these things, Cambodia, South Africa. There would have been groups of people exactly like we are who are going through the same thing. You can think this, no, you can't think this, so you can't do this. Um, but I think, I'm writing saying that if at the heart, the heart of them, the Sojournitzens and, um, and very, and various other thinkers, um, if, if you have God in the, you know, the forefront of your mind,

49:00it, that will ease your journey. Yeah. That's, that's the best I can describe it, you know, but it is. It's, it's really hard because sometimes people just want me to go, that you fucking can. That you can. All this, which is normal because isn't that what people want, people want justice. They want justice. They want justice. They do what? Yeah, they want it now. And the thing is, will it ever come? Probably not. Not in the way that we think it will. Oh, yeah, I agree. Probably not. No. So, do we spend our time railing against it? Or do we build? It's going to say build back better. Can you imagine? Second. That's catchy. It's catchy, isn't it? It is. You know, testing, testing into my little EWF microphone here, my little badge. Yeah, or do we, do we create?

50:03Again, something I was speaking about on my port in Czechoslovakia during the communist, you know, during the, um, they were aligned with the Soviets, you know, the 70s and... Yeah. ...throughs 89 when it, when it communism fell and Vashlav Harval, you know, all these group of, these group of thinkers, writers, poets, artists, basically got together and said, and this was, by the way, against a terrible regime that's worse than ours is at the moment, well, only just, um, a storm or an arresting people and all that. And they, they got together and they said, we're gonna form a charter, called charter 77, and, um, which is named after the year it was created. And, um, it was basically, these are the principles, the first principles, we, we are, we want to show the government, this is how we want to live. These are our sovereign rights.

51:05Um, this is how we, um, want to live our lives, uh, to do, you know, freedom of religion, et cetera, et cetera, education. Um, and they, um, they just handed out the pamphlets everywhere. And those people were, when the government got wind of it, when the state, um, they were arrests, uh, brutal, you know, sort of beatings. I mean, tech horrible stuff. Um, but, but it's funny because when people say, hope it abs, you know, the abs, the people in the UK, you know, the, the various arrests that have happened, well, it's probably just all made up. And nobody, nobody's really, I'm like, are you, are you joking? This is how it starts. Starmer isn't necessarily like this obvious, you know, he's not like the, maybe, um, the check, regime in the work, but it doesn't mean that given more opportunity, he couldn't be like that because that's a whole, are you talking about the, the theories that a lot of these things are staged to make people afraid?

52:10Yeah. Yeah. And I would say, well, it didn't work with vassal, in vassal of Harvard was case in Czechoslovakia or Sorgynitsyn's case. In fact, if anything, the gulag archipelago archipelago archipelago archipelago. Archipelago. Archipelago. Archipelago. Archipelago. Archipelago. Archipelago. Archipelago. Archipelago. Archipelago. Archipelago. And that was him going essentially. Yeah. To the Soviet, to the regime. So free speech to me. As it has, has grown. It hasn't been diminished. By arrests or by. Certainly not in, in my case, I speak, as you know, I speak as I, as I find. So there's an idea that people have been frightened, have been cowed. In a strange way, saying everything staged and not real is doing the job of the enemy. Right. Okay. Actually, I see what you mean. Yeah. Yeah. So, so you think that the actual premise of that kind of the logic of that isn't even valid really?

53:12No, not really. Not saying that there aren't. Obviously, there are, there are all sorts of false flags as we know, all sort of things which aren't necessarily, isn't it? Sure. As they were afraid. Sure, sure. Which is kind of, we all, we, we all agree on. Yeah. But it's these, we'll put it this way. I mean, when I, I was arrested, we were talking about my blood, I was arrested in June 2023. June the, what was it? 27th. Yeah, 23th. So, it was outside the COVID inquiry in London, in Paddington, and I'd gone down to meet. It was early, it was, I think it was the first day or second day, and Matt Hancock was inside giving his evidence, his version of events. Yeah. Because they were believable. Yeah. And then, so there was some yellow boards down there. So, Francis O'Neill and various, you know, various people, only a few of us, it wasn't many. But I was like, I'm going to go down and show my support for the guys, because they, you know, they were down there.

54:12Are these wonderful yellow boards have been doing so much in the years? Yeah. And went down there, and they were pressed there and everything. And the mist, I've got to be honest, did descend Jake. I did, there were a few foxes and fucking out. Sure, sure. Yeah, when you face it, that's the test, isn't it? When you're, exactly. It's all right, you can sit and just, right, objectively look at a situation. Yeah. Oh, I'm calm. I'm calm. I forgive you. I forgive you. I'm the great. When you see a line of press who have all, for their various papers, pushed the harmful vaccines into children's arms and pregnant women, you just like, so I, I, yeah, I, the rib mist ascended and a man came out and said, can you stop swearing? Fucking hell. Nuremberg trial. You know, we need a Nuremberg. It's violated the Nuremberg code that you understand. And all these guys just clicking, clicking away. Because Matt Hancock was inside. She was in for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, so then the police turn up, or they're lurking and what, and this couple goes, um, if you swear again,

55:18if you swear again, I'm doing what police boys say. If you swear again. Oh, I thought you just, like, a little bit strange. I thought you, I'm going to go at me. Yes, I'm going to take, I'm, I'm going to throw the cap, we'll see the window. If you swear again, we're going to, we're going to arrest you. So I said to the desk sergeant and the, the thromb, you know, the few copies of that I said, I'm really, really pleased that Hope and police station knows what a woman is. Okay. We got that in there. I got that in. I know. I was flirting slightly, maybe, with a double arrest. So I choose the books. And it's literally this night, this nice copper. This copper is going with the cell door, like that. Oh. And he doesn't want to close it. It's like when you say goodnight to your child.

56:19So I'll leave the light on. So leave the light on. Well, have you got one of those windows that you bring down at? Okay. The funniest bit was I was so tired I had to stop myself from laughing out loud in the interview. I can imagine, yeah, you get sort of slightly giddy, don't you? I was conscious drunk. Yeah. I really was. I mean, I hadn't slept. I've been singing. I'd be competing with Nigerians in the smell of shit. Just everything was just like swirling, fearing that there may be a fire. The thing that made me laugh, what, nearly laugh. And I had to just go close, you know, when you just see this, close it, like that, to look away, was when they read out what I'd, my swearing. In a really serious way. So you said this, f***, f*** you, f***ing hell, f*** it won't be long before people say you really, oh, you listening to Pink Floyd. Yeah. I thought they were satanic. Yeah.

57:19Okay. Let's jump.