A Thousand Words — Abi Roberts (Part 1 of 3)

0:00We're going to be chastised by the, by the truth, the slash freedom, slash cult. Oh, well, that's already happened. Yeah, it has. Yes. This is like a therapy session. Yeah. People that have survived the tooth and movement on the phone, I said, Terry's dead, and then I laughed, that, you know, rabbit holes are underground, you know, they're, they're, they're the opposite way to, uh-huh, spirituality, which is that way, then this, I find this pretty cool. And I, I mean, woman behind me was crying, so I just, without sounding like I'm, I'm not Mother Teresa. Thank God. Yeah. Right. Sorry. Everyone. In conjunction with the 1000 words, the righteous brothers recently exhibited at the Truman brewery, Spittelfields. It was a great week meeting so many like-minded people. We're giving away a free show poster to anyone who orders posters, prints or original art from the website until further notice, we also have packs of cards featuring the righteous brothers artwork and framed fake 50 pound notes, guaranteed to get conversation started,

1:03head to the righteousbrothers.uk and see if anything takes you fancy. If you consider in commissioning a portrait, go to my personal site, jakefern.co.uk, where you can find more information on the simple process of creating a unique centerpiece for any home, something to treasure for a lifetime. The, the resemblances are uncanny, but I think just the spirit, just the, the, the thoughts that are evoked, not just by 1000 words, but also the righteousbrothers' works as well. They're so provocative and evocative, I'm sure you can pick up the bars on the, on the sound here this evening. It's a really electric atmosphere, it's absolutely fantastic. This is going to be our same thing.

2:20I'm going to go to the foot to fortune, it's sun, it ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate one, yeah, et cetera, to cut to some Vietnam, some helicopter noises. Guy, I just really like how talented Phil Collins is singing and playing drums, I tried to join in, I completely lost it, yeah, it is weird isn't it, when you're, yeah, when you're trying to, when you're keeping rhythm, it's possible, I know, I know, I know you've got an amazing voice, I've heard you sing, I, do you play in this room? No, not really, it's much of my father's chagra, because it, you know, guitar, it's weird,

3:22it's weird, well, there seems to be just, that just became the, the instrument, that's why I'm keep, isn't it? It did, it did, it did, it's just like a, I feel like I'm, I'm kind of playing it weirdly. Yeah, yeah, of course it is an instrument, are we playing by the way? Yes, so you don't play an instrument, but you sing wonderfully. I, have we stopped? That's the intro. I could feel the shift, it was like, so, you don't play, you don't say an instrument, but you do sing in a, in a, in a wonderfully resonant way, oh, are we filming by ourselves? Yes, I, my father was a guitarist, and played, played piano quite well, and, and, and new poor McCartney. And new poor McCartney? He doesn't think he's dead. He doesn't think he's dead, no, it's very much alive, even though he does have a face that looks like wax, it's kind of melting off, you know, it's cool. Well, he looks better since he, he went great, he let himself go, yeah, exactly, it's very strange for people to do that. It makes men look, when they die they're here like, yeah, oh, what was it, is it Halloween?

4:24Who's the, who's the character in Halloween? I don't watch horror movies. No, no, no, I know what I've never watched a horror movie, like, he lost on you. Basically, he's just got a white face, the, the baddie, this kind of monster, but, white face, but very dark hair, and that's what I always think, what's the end of that? Dracula, kind of, Dracula look, no, he's completely not like that at all. Horror, I'm just thinking horror movies, that's Dracula in it. He was, we're going, we're going down a quite a normy route, although I don't like the word normy. We have already, why in this conversation, but Hollywood movies, we're going to be chastised by the, by the truth, the slash freedom, slash cult. Oh, well, that's already happened anyway. Yeah, it has, yes, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. No, it's your bro's throat, because they're going to get more free fresh. That's where, oh god, yeah, so my dad knew the Beatles, because he was a session guitarist. Yeah. Are we actually new to Beatles, not just porn, because so he was working in the 60s, is it? Just stalk Paul McCartney, and like Chris, it's you again, outside of my, but you need

5:26more than one. That's impressive. Yeah, knew the, knew all of them, and worked for the Menody Maker. He knew all the Beatles, including the, the, the, the fake one. Er, isn't it the guy from the ones that I do die band? That's, he's meant to be. He's meant to be the, yeah. McCartney, isn't he? He's meant to be McCartney, yeah. You know, great songs. What is it? It's kind of like weird, isn't it? People go, it's like sort of saying, um, Mozart probably wasn't the real, Mozart wasn't real. And then, so I'm never going to listen to any Mozart again. Really? That's, um, it's very enlightening, do you? Yeah, I, I don't know if people don't listen to the Beatles, because of the, although, yeah. Some people have got it out of their lives. That, that, that's true. They do, don't they? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that, that, that bit, I don't, that bit, I, er, I'm afraid I do not pass the, uh, purity test. Well, this is one of the reasons why I thought we'd have a good conversation, because I don't think I do either. No. Because people sort of accuse me of, in the comments, people say, how he's, he's always

6:29subtly putting down the truth, they sort of like, so I'm like, I'm not at all, I'm just trying to be, even subtle. I'm not subtle at all. I'm not subtle at all. I'm not subtle about it. No. Um, I just think discernment is, is something to cherish, you know, it's like, and everything's up for debate. Yeah. Um, yeah. That's, that's my, it seems like you're, you're sent, it's coming from a separate place. 100%. Um, everything's up for debate, um, everything's open as soon as people start in forming groups. I was thinking about this the other day, or we'll get back to the Beatles in a minute. Yeah. You'll find those with me. I'm, uh, my brain goes ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, to, you know, pinball kind of machine. Um, the other day that, um, the, the, the formation of sort of cults and purity, er, is just what the Bolsheviks did. It's what many, you know, revolutionary groups, um, zealot, zealot, zealot, zealot, zealot groups do political groups, um, and they form their, they, they, they start to behave

7:31like the people that they're opposing. Yeah. So they accuse people of, you know, are you stopping us saying things and you're silencing us and you're censoring us and then they do exactly the same thing. And thus, and I speak about, there's a lot on my podcast, Abbey Daily available on Saturday and, and other good podcast places, um, but you've got, if you've got T-shirts, I'm, I'm going to have some merch held off for three years. And then someone said, we really want a T-shirt with, um, sweet home Abbey Bama. That's my theme tune. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I started recording on my, on an iPhone 6 in, er, in March, 2022, into my iPhone and literally, it's when, oh, what, what would it be in Trovy? Uh, sweet home, er, that was it. I went down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, sweet home Abbey Bama, where the skies are so blue, good evening and welcome to, and the thing is, it was like, so it's like a half, it's not even a full verse is

8:36it. No, no, no. It's just like a weird, a bit of a cover, and I should have done that, I should have done the whole, um, the whole thing. No, you'll have to, you'll have to do it with us, we'll, we'll learn it. Yes. I'd ban the learn it. I would. Next time we do a festival, you can. We love that. Anyway, we'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. Anyway. It's good to get my manager. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so, er, yes, er, that was, that was the, er, sweet, I mean, I love, I love that song, sweet home Abbey Bama. Yeah. Um, one of the classics, but I don't, that's back to the purity thing with this, the truth or whatever the movements are. I, I, I'm seeing, I'm seeing stuff that I don't really like. I'm seeing censorship. I'm seeing, um, sort of, I don't know. Can't you take the piss out of people without being accused of centering them? I mean, I take the piss. I think we should be able to go, that's mad. What are you talking about? And then not be accused of centering.

9:38Uh-huh. Or gatekeeping. Or gatekeeping. And it's, you know, I've done, and I've got people, as you know, we've got, we've got people in common who we know, um, I don't know if I can name names. Um, yeah, I mean, James Dillingpole, who, you know, got, I got to know him pretty well back in sort of, I didn't know him at all. I knew him because of watermelons is great book about the environmentalist, um, scam. Um, you know, I, I, I just, I, I did his podcast, must have been end of last year. And it just got very, um, I wasn't going to talk about this, but I just think it's important that I, I, I, I, well, you're talking about it now, tough shit, but I just don't like that kind of thing. Well, you know, uh, so I just think to say it, just be, you know, be frank about it. If, if, if this isn't the time to be, um, everything cards on the table. They were, I mean, what is, especially, especially, especially, especially anyone who's

10:40involved in the movement, yeah, yeah, I mean, I think it's important. Yeah. Exactly. No, it's like, I think it's important. And as you rightly said, it's to do with, um, the two main prongs are sovereignty and God, those two prongs, I think of what attaches us to everything true, uh, that's true, uh, true, good and beautiful. Yeah. And do I know that you can't, um, start viewing off, not that you can't go off, I say to people fill your boots, I don't give a shit. If you think the earth's a rectangle or that, um, you know, the rolling stones, I don't know, didn't ever exist. Or, um, I just, I mean, any number of things I don't care, but I'm not, I don't, don't make me agree with you because that's the behavior of, of the, the, the zealot. Yeah. And then don't, don't dump your emotional shit on me. You know? You know, this is like a therapy session. Yeah, people that have survived the Luther movement. Yeah, I was on the, so I was on the pod,

11:42and it was actually to promote We The People. It was to my book, which I gave you and your wife a copy of, which is now We The People, which letters from Dystopia, with Bob's excellent cartoons in them. Letters from people who wrote to me about the lockdowns, about vaccines, about the shit show, 2020, and just awful. We've had to put warnings throughout the book, the Samaritans, and throughout it, just to encase people, because it's such heavy reading. So I went on the pod, I don't know any pod to do this. And, I think it's really interesting. I sent him a copy. I'm not even sure if he's read it, the book, which is fair enough, you know, people are busy. But then halfway through, we got talking about, because I did, I did, to question him about the Manchester Arena bombing, and the idea that the little girl wasn't real,

12:45that she'd been made up, Safi's, it's Safi Rousseau's, had we made up. Right, is this the Richard D. Hall kind of thing? Yeah, Richard D. Hall stuff about the, let's look at body language, and let's look at how people react when they've had terrible, you know, appalling things have happened to them. And actually, on a sidebar, I was writing, because I've actually just finished a book, which is going to be released in October. It's sort of a memoir in essays. It's kind of like defines the description. It's got like a weird, hot potch of my life, quotes, philosophy, politics, but it's only about 80 pages long. But in it, I was writing, it doesn't need to be longer than that, eh? It doesn't need to be longer than that. I mean, exactly, I was like, oh, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored already, I'm bored myself of it, but, but I was writing in that, and where was I going with this? I do this on my book, aren't I? Yeah, I know, I was talking about Manchester Arena.

13:45Oh, I know, how people react in tragic circumstances. When, so it's quite a difficult thing I was writing, because it was about my own husband's death. Yeah. So when I came home, I found my darling husband, who was my manager, in stand-up, he was my stand-up comedy agent manager, booker, everything. Most brilliant man, Terence Gibbons, Jordy, who I met in 2009, who were married, so he passed away, end of 2018, and he'd been treated for long, I say, treated by the cancer business. Okay. And it is a business, which we know. So he'd been treated many verticalmers, and then I came home one day, and he died on our bedroom floor. And the world, as people know, watching, it stops, you think it hasn't happened. What am I seeing? Your brain kind of takes protections on a weird way.

14:49I remember this is just in relation to this ridiculous thing about conspiracy theorists, you know, being behavioral experts, body language and stuff. I rang a friend, must have been a mutual friend, about 10 minutes later, and on the phone, I said, Terry's dead, and then I laughed. And if anyone had been watching that, listen to that, they would have gone, or subsequently, they would have gone, oh, I need to, Jupiter's delight, I'm telling you now, people that say that have no insight into human behavior. In fact, in a weird way, they're removing themselves from what it is to be human. When you know the phrase, I cried laugh, I laughed crying, cried laughing, both things interchangeable, all it is is a release. Oh yeah, to the release, yeah. And you can't control the sad face of the teeth,

15:50it's not an emoji, you're not sort of being, it's not an automaton. And that's what angers me, because to me, the truth of this whole analyzing people's body language, it's going further away from God, not closer. It's sort of what making people sort of automotons or mistrusting your fellow, you can, by all means, mistrust politicians and, you know, doctors who push vaccines and... Yeah. And the media have some skepticism and, but even their human, and God, I just said, I have just said a big mouth all there. Can't say that. You know, don't say that. Yeah, shut it down. Yeah. Yeah, no, I agree with that. Although having said that, I think that, I mean, that's not, and you'll probably not dismiss in all body language. Mm-hmm. But it's just kind of pseudo, oh, I'm the clever, conspiracy theorist. Yes. No, I'm not, no, no. Yeah, and I'm not pointing that at Richard E. Hall,

16:50because there's a lot of stuff that he's done. I like, and I haven't, I don't know this there. I haven't looked at the Manchester stuff, so, and I don't know, but... What you were talking about. What you were talking about, stuff is useful. You know, I think he's probably genuine, I don't know. Yeah, yeah. But there is an element, isn't there, where people like to be the clever, conspiracy theorist? Mm-hmm. And they hear one thing, and it's what I call others of course, the kind of second matrix kind of mindset, where you just like to, you kind of jump on the next belief system. Yeah. And it kind of bolsters you in the same way that the first matrix bolstered you, and made you comfortable. But didn't you? I think, didn't I comment on that? You know, when you, I was on Substack, or you said, and I've actually used, I did, I did quote you, I think. I did credit you for this thought, because you know how some was, the people, you people go, anyway, I said that, like 10 minutes ago. I don't know. Yeah, it was a brilliant thing, which I did put on the same apocos about there being you leave one matrix and you join a second one.

17:51So you build your own... It seems to be like a bit like that. Yeah, don't you think? Yeah, I do. I do. And maybe that's a natural process, you know, and slowly the matrix is, or matrices. Yeah. Get, get, get weaker as you, as you get further along the way. You get further along, and you go, hang on there. I'm on matrix 42, at the moment. I'm almost there. Like the boosters. Yeah, like the boosters, yeah. I'm on matrix 47, hang on a bit. I didn't take any other vaccines, but I seem to have also found myself similarly strapped in a way of thinking. Yeah. So that's a really, really, really excellent point that you made. And I just, and I think about things a lot, I sort of saw that and went, oh, let's have a little think about that and what that means for people. I mean, I think, I've said this again, this is a wall back, much to the slight disappointment of various parts of the movement, but, you know, rabbit holes are underground, you know, they're the opposite way to spirituality,

18:56which is that way. And also, what, you know, standing firm on the ground and grounding and, you know, all that sort of stuff. And everything happening here, isn't it? And transcendently, you know, transcendently up, up there. So when you're down a rabbit hole, you're in the dark, you're covered in rabbit shit. You're probably going to meet a few moles. And you might get stuck down there and never come back up. And you might get stuck down there and say, hell, you're covered in soil. Yeah. And, yeah, and it's, I think it's just that thing of being a little bit aware of your own sanity, you know, sort of where you're, where's this going? And also, by all means, dock down there and have a little scrabble around. But maybe you don't live down there. I mean, that's just, that's my take on things. Yeah. Maybe I'm just not as robust as some people. No, I think it's, I think it's, it's, it's known your priorities.

19:58Yeah. People are at different places on the journey, aren't they? And there's a time where you probably do spend a lot of time down rabbit holes. Yes. You know, maybe at the start of your journey. Yes. It was great. I just read a really good CS Lewis quote. And I wish I could read it. I saved it. But it is basically saying, I think it's like a fictional character who's telling people to, how to, how easy it is just to get absorbed. You think you're doing the work and you're, you're criticizing the, the powers that be in your, you're, you're critiquing society. But a lot of the time, it's just another way of avoiding looking at your own shit. Yes. He says it more eloquently than that. Obviously, it's CS Lewis. Is it your own shit? That feels bad. Yeah. But it's, yeah, he's, he's got, he's got a point. We're back to the, we're back to the God thing again. Say God thing, that's not, that's not a very good way to try me either. But it's, it's like an American bestseller.

21:00Yeah, the God thing. The God thing. Hey man, come to my church and I'll talk to you. Just give me a lot of money and you'll suddenly find your own paradise. Yeah. I, I, I say more probably now, because let you, let me say we're all in a different part of our journey, path, understanding of sort of what's happened. Because I forget the last five years, I was being an app, the shit show. I was thinking on the way on the train, holy shit. I was surprised that a lot of us haven't all had nervous breakdowns. Yeah, I think if he hadn't had one beforehand. You certainly, you probably, it's coming up. She's praying to have one. Yeah, you know, and there's, there's that real one. I think people, you know, yeah, need to understand this whole sort of, sort of psychotic mass psychosis, whatever you think is behind, I've got my theories about what's behind it all, you know, this kind of collectivist, if we're thinking

22:00in terms of politics, you know, this, this idea that we need to control the greatest number of people using technology and for the greater good mechanisms. I think CS Lewis might even have a first though, they're the greater good. Right. Was it the greatest tyranny or something is the people that, that tell you they're going to do it for you, they're going to do it for your own good. The greater good. So that's kind of what we're seeing in political terms, Fabians were a society in the 1840s, they influenced Mao who in turn then used their long march stuff with the cult, you know, the cultural revolution and then you get to, so it's quite interesting to look at the way the elites kind of want to control us. The elites kind of, you know, want to, want to control us. And it all comes down to the board, down to one thing. They're trying to take, get us further away from God and closer to.

23:01Shit. To shit. Yeah, to the, to the, to the, to the diabolical. Yeah. And the stuff that is not transcendent. So not human understanding and holding people's hands and saying good morning as somebody passes and good afternoon and helping people across the road. If you say good morning, then you, you, you're obviously satanic. Exactly. You have to say grand risings. Otherwise, you, you're. See, that's a, I make, make point this out. He's, he's, his latest, um, one of his little rants. Yes. Was it grand rising? You fucking can't. Something like that. It's like, that's not my pick. It's a sound like. It's a song. But you know, I, I think, I think there's a good point. He made a really good point that if, if we get so obsessed, if we, if we, if we, um, hand over our power to the point

24:05where we, we think someone can literally put a spell on us by saying good morning. Yes. You know, then we, we're screwed. We're screwed. And that's not just the, the powers that be. No, that's, that's us. That's us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, good morning, literally, good morning was in, I mean, do we even need to analyse it? No. And even if it did come from morning, M.O. M.O. You are. Even if it did. Yeah. It doesn't mean that anymore. When you, when you say, when you see someone you love and, well, you send them out happy feelings to someone walking by and you go, good morning. Well, we've won. Because we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've reversed it. Yeah. We've reversed the spell. So just chill out. Chill the fuck out and stop looking. It's, it's this crazy paranoia that everything is. And actually, you're, it's, you're right. It's taking away what's behind good morning, behind it. Yeah. Um, by, essentially, using this week, because I've just thought, yeah, you, it's

25:07using the same tactics that the Marxists use to change language with the woke stuff. Yeah. That's what's happening in the, in the, in the, in the, the truth of the movement. Yeah. Whatever, whatever you want to call it. True. I mean, I even saw what movement. I don't even know. I don't know. I quite like freedom movement. But I like freedom. I like freedom movement. I like meat it. I like, I like the folk I've met. And if I don't feel relaxed with somebody or I can, um, you know, that I can't say when I want to say for fear of, and I'm talking about any group of people. Yeah. I know there's something wrong. If I feel, yeah, shall I, I don't know, shall I say that? Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah. We shouldn't be. Second guess. In that position, yeah. Yeah. Not, especially not within groups where people are professing to be searching for truth. Searching for, yeah, is that the truth? Yeah. And it would be good, you know, to, if these, these people, well, they are, um, talk about, talk about God more, sovereignty more, uh, basic principles, the principles of, I think

26:12as well, there's a lot of, um, I just, I tweeted something earlier on. I'm not a big Twitter. I thought I was knocked off. I was thrown off Twitter twice, um, in the, in the last five years because in the previous, you know, before musk. Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah. So I had a big, very big following and then said, I just, I just put, tweeted every day, stop the jabs, stop, and then the next day, stop the jabs. The next day, stop the jabs. And it's, and then, and then this way. This way had such a big followed. Really gripping. Really gripping stuff. Funny stuff. Just kidding. There is us. What the hell was going on? But it was like this kind of like obsession. Like Tourette. There was a few fucking, stop the fucking jabs. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. And then I varied it with stop the jabs. You know, all the way. And with it. Now I can understand why the following was. It was very, it was great writing. It was, it was literally genius every day. And then I just got, and then I just got a note one day. And if I just disappeared, did you really get a little note saying, we've, we've suspended your account.

27:15Yeah. You know, you've been, you know, basically that's it. Yeah. So that was an interesting experience. It's, it affects you a little bit, doesn't it? It's hard to sort of get your head around too. Because you feel, I, I don't know about you, but when things like that happen to me, there's a time, I, as well with Twitter. Yeah. And it sort of took me back to being a kid and just like. Oh, it's not fair. No, I don't want people to sell names. Yeah. Just really. Yeah. Oh, no, I'm going to have to sit next to Sarah Trafford. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's exactly right. And I just remember that name. It was very nice, actually. Sarah Trafford. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you're listening, sometimes wonder whether the people that's all think like, you know, how many people are a sort of aligned in the, in the basics, you know, I, anyway, but people have messaged me. I've had, um, that the, um, the wife or ex-wife of quite a big comedy promoter messaged me and said,

28:17oh, Abby, thank God. You're saying this stuff because this is a wall back. Um, very, it's difficult though. It's really difficult because you sort of, you've got your own, someone's feel, and if you feel as Jake, but I think also being on my own, I do, someone's feel a little bit like I'm, um, the, you know, the, the, the waters are rising a bit, you know, with what to cope with. So then I have to just sort of go, right, I'm off social meet. I'm just shutting everything out for my own sanity. Well, yeah, I can imagine that you've got, you know, a profile. You're a bit more in the public eye. I can imagine that you would need to do that. Yeah. I don't need to do that. I just, like, just ignore it all. It's just like, you ignore it all. Yeah. But, um, I know what you mean. I don't, I don't really, it doesn't, I don't get too drawn into stuff. No. But I can imagine if you, you know, you've got a, which your career, you know, it's your life, your career, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking on the way, on the train, which is, oh, that bloody awful dystopian train,

29:21you know, the thing goes, see it, say it sorted. Fuck, see it, fuck, it says it. Um, so I had to calm down a bit. I don't know what I arrived at. You did, yeah, you needed to detox the detox and you gave me some ashwanger. See it, I... I'm using ash. You're imagining that. Ashwanger and something. What's it called again? Ashwander. Uh, that sounds too much like ashwanker. Ashwanker. It's not, it wasn't ashwanker. It was delicious, whatever it was. Uh, it was great. Ashwander. I've got it. What was it? Oh, Ashwagander. I love that. The voice, the comedy voice of... So that's my team manager. Off stage. Ashwagander. For heaven's sake, Abby. Um, yes, it was very, it was very common because, you know, you've come from London. I was like this. Although I had a very nervous chat with a, um, cab driver. Yeah. Who said he was, uh, we chatted about gold and he said, well, I am a Muslim, but I don't, I don't have a go to the mosque. I've got... I like to have a phone off. Yeah. Um, just to what's the word, uh, when people have preconceptions about things, that's very important,

30:26isn't it, too, when you speak to people, listen to what they're telling you as well. Don't assume. Uh, important things. Yeah. Yeah. Now, yeah, because I've, I've found, I find that with, say, when I've researched some stuff, um, and I'm, I'm, I'm comparing information. Yeah. And one guy might be, I might have so little in common with. He might be jabbed up. He might believe in, in, in everything that I had a question. Yeah. But he might be speaking sense. He might be talking sense about this issue. Yes. About this issue. And I have to listen to that. Yes. And go, right, I'm going to put that aside. I'm not going to go, oh, you're a... Yeah, you're a complete twang. You're a... I'm going to discount you. I'm just going to discount you. Discount you. Even though you're a fellow human being. Yeah. And what the other thing you're saying is going to be helpful in the, in the long term. The bigger picture. Yeah. And I'm guilty of it. Honestly, Jake, I've been terrible in my previous Twitter on clinicians saying, oh, you fucking

31:28twangers. Oh, you took the jab. You've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you know, um, and then at one point, I think it was 2022. I just, I went to some event. And I think it was with the vaccine injured. And people were laughing, um, at the people who'd be injured. From people for more. They have this, I find it. And I, I, I met a woman behind me who was crying. So I just, without sounding like I'm, I'm not Mother Teresa. Thank God. Yeah. Right. Sorry. Everyone did to, um, to, uh, yeah, anyone who thought you was nice. But I, I sort of turned around and, um, you know, and sort of held her. It was just the human, the humane thing to do. But it was then, I thought, oh, this is interesting. Uh-huh. We're, we're, we're not remembering there, but for the grace of God, go us. Uh-huh. Who saw it, thought, that doesn't sound right. Uh-huh. Not everyone did. Not everyone had the, maybe the luxury or the, maybe they had, um, 95 jobs working on.

32:33Hospital's driving cabs. Yeah. Parents abroad. Yeah. All this stuff, you know, and the propaganda got seeped in, which it was, it was designed to do. But I certainly don't, um, that was a bit of a, that was a turning point for me. Yeah, right. So there was a turning point. You'd, so that probably, in a way, it's quite a big turning point. Turning point. Just philosophically for your whole life, isn't it? It's quite a step to go from that. Yeah. They're the problem of anger, externalization. Uh-huh. Detachment, dehumanization. Exactly. And especially about, because yeah, it was anger. It was the anger that was doing it. Uh-huh. Was sort of making me go, oh, you've so, and, and I suppose also that thing, that human, very human thing of going, No, no, no, no, no. I didn't have them, so therefore I must have pure blood. Uh-huh. I must be, actually, I'm going to rise myself up on a cloud and just be surrounded by, and it's absolute horseshit. Uh-huh. But the amount of people who've got high on their own supply is fucking unreal.

33:34Uh-huh. And the, as my husband, Terry, to say, check yourself before you wreck yourself. Uh-huh. Still say that to him. So that's his, to this day. And he's right. You know, at some point you're going to, it's going to be you looking in the mirror. Oh, yeah. What's that? Yeah. What's happening? It's like a decent thing. It's like decent. Yeah. And like I said, I do, I do, you know, reserve much of my anger for medics, you know, for the people that just went here, you know, have them and politicians and much of, and the media because they were sort of part of the propaganda exercise. The other people, you know, the, the, the decent, the decent folk, um, I just think could have been any, could have been any of us. You know, but that line that you, you've just drawn is a hard-wanted determined, isn't it? That line between, where does it become?

34:34So, you know, what point do people become, complicit in a kind of conscious way? Yeah. You know, I have to say for me in a way, I'm not sure that ever gets to that point because I think, I used to listen to a guy called Patrick Timpony. And his sort of thing that he used to say was, everyone's doing the best they can. Yeah. And it's a strange one to get your head round and it's hard when you, when you feel like, you know, there's people out there doing bad stuff. Doing, yeah, doing terrible things. Um, but in a way, he's kind of right. Everyone is doing the best they can and it goes right to, I think you could argue it almost goes to even the psychopath who's doing whatever they're doing. Yeah. The worst crime. Yeah. They're doing the best they can. Otherwise, they wouldn't be doing it. I mean, yes. No, I'm not trying to excuse you. No, this is what I get accused of. Oh, you're making excuses. No, this is what, this is what, um, good in the old days would be called good is a rational thinking. I mean, difficult, difficult ideas, grappling with them.

35:35Yeah. With these moral, ethical ideas. Yeah. It wasn't as, I mean, I think, yeah, the most interesting people look at these things. I mean, Saul Jannitson said, um, you know, the, the human heart, good and bad, run through the human heart in sort of, you know, through each human heart. So it's, it's for us to, um, it's, I suppose everyone, you know, we all have choices we make. We do. Yeah. We do have choices. And on every any given day have consequences. And joy is actually choices have consequences. Um, and obviously there's going to be people on the psychopathic spectrum, um, who's, uh, who, who, who don't have a conscience the way we think of it. Yeah. So, um, I mean, someone like Ted Bundy. Yeah. I think would, would, would, would, would get forward to that category where I think he almost didn't even really understand. And because I, you've murdered all these people, these, all these women. Yeah. I'm usually with them.

36:35So, you know, yeah. And I'm now going to represent myself in court. Because he was such a, you know, psychopathic. Right. So an orthosistic psychopathic. Yeah. And obviously, but that's very, very, we're all on a spectrum. He was right on the other end. Uh-huh. And I find this stuff fascinating. I do. Yeah. We're all kind of not, we're all a mixture of everything, you know. But nobody knows, you know, however far you dig for the truth, you know, about various things that have happened in the world. Guess what? You never, you're never going to find it because that it's been designed that way, you know, for, for, um, sort of. Well, you're not going to find it intellectually. No, it's like, you're not going to find it intellectually and go, oh, there you go. See? I can lay it all out. Yeah. And in a, in a, sort of like an equation. Uh-huh. So looking outwards, the trance, the transcendent, Christ sitting in a church, being quiet, like I did on the way here, um, in Victoria, in Westminster, in Cathedral, will that gives you the sustenance you need?

37:39That's it. Uh-huh. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's where it's at. Yeah. Well, we'll talk about, we'll talk about that in a second. Yeah. And the, took it, but go and just quickly going back to judgment. Yeah, yeah. We're drawn to this idea of, of trying to understand the world and make judgment. And I don't think making judgments is a bad thing. But when we, um, I've been listening to a lot of NDE's near death experience. Or rather, Vicki's been listening and I listened to snippets. Yeah. One thing that is, is, um, reoccurrent, is this idea that in the, in the life review, you're not, whatever you've done, there isn't a sort of damacles, you know, there isn't a, you're not punished. Yeah. And your, your suffering is the punishment. You're, you're reliving the experience from the other person's perspective with an open heart.

38:40Yes. Is the punishment. It's not punishment, but it's, yes, yes. It's the consequence. Yeah. And it's a natural consequence where we have to, and I, and I can't help, but try, you know, I feel I have to, that makes so much sense to me. Yeah. So, you have to try and put that into practice in my normal life. Yeah. So, you know, in a sense, someone might do something really bad. Yeah. But not, not to excuse the action. Yes. And not to try and, um, um, somehow. Anyway, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Just, wait, wait, wait, wait! When you were very profanely, I was going over there. Yeah. So, you know, we have to, there has to be some form of societal judgment, you know, so someone commits a crime, there has to be a consequence, whether that's the go to prison and they're ostracized from society. I mean, that's the difference, isn't it, with

39:42modern society, because we haven't really got close in it cultures that we, you know, or villages, we're not in villages, someone can just waltz in commit a crime and then waltz out again. Exactly. Whereas you couldn't do that, we had a natural inbuilt consequence. Yes. You do something wrong to the, to the village. To the village, you'd be in the stock. You're stuffed. You're stuffed, aren't you? Because you've got nowhere else to go. Yeah. It's very instant karma. Yeah. And then they put the people in stalks and they put you just throw, like, I don't know, like wooden stalks. Yeah. In the, yeah. Yeah. In the centre of the village. Yeah. Yeah. But then they wouldn't be trusted. So they couldn't. No. The agency in life would be limited. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whereas we're in a, to a bit of a strange situation at the moment, are we where, we're nobody. Consequences are all external governments, huge, yeah, everything that follows from that. Yeah. There's no sort of localisation of anything. No. It's all kind of, it's gone from tiny, tiny, god, family community, you know, there's

40:46a list of things and it's switched, doesn't it? Yeah. So the government was at the bottom, the state was at the bottom. Yeah. Another state at the top, so they said, we'd, yeah, and generally people don't, and it's gone so far down that road that most people don't, aren't even capable of stepping back and going, oh, that's a little bit topsy-turned. Yes. Yeah. That's just the way it is now. Yeah. So therefore we have to have all these crazy legislation and these crazy rules and laws. Yes. Yes. And I was, I was just thinking then, I think some of my, it's going to be interesting actually when people watch this back. No, no, no one's watching it. No one's watching it. Exactly. The cameras aren't running. Yes, they're running. You can see what the fuck you want. Oh my god. How, um, the, yeah, people might be surprised to hear me say that it's all, or possibly disappointed, which is that I think. Possibly disapproving. Disapproving. Disapproving. Disapproving. Disapproving. Disapproving.

41:46Okay. Um, that, that, a lot of my anger towards, including, I was very angry with Andrew Bridgham because not, not because he, um, he, he, you know, eventually went, oh my god, what's that, you know, um, with the vaccines and the, but because, because he voted for the three, um, lockdowns, so it's on record, he voted for them and voted for compulsory injections for care home workers. Oh, did. And then, yeah, and then also, but I'm saying this, no, but there's, there's, there's kind of a, I'm saying this, I know there's a, I know, yeah, yeah, not to not to get him in the stocks. Oh, no, I know that. Um, but because I just didn't realize that to explain to people, um, because his journey has been a huge one. Yeah. It's been, it's been a big one. Um, and there were people before him who were raising the alarm, um, about the vaccines, but, but sort of, but they weren't as good at, so putting themselves forward, um, and

42:52this is where I come to the interesting part, which is that just, so I've, I've said to Andrew, I've said, not face to face, but I've said, um, in messages. If you face the muse, sort of face the, you know, the, the public or whoever had been affected in lockdowns and some people who letters are in We The People, um, a lady who son took his own life during one of the lockdowns, so it feels very, very angry about it. Yeah. If people like Andrew Bridge and there are others said, sorry, but also, so almost more than that, may God forgive me, yeah, in front of people, my, that, that would, that, in a way, that would make, that would make my, my sort of, my anger sort of subside more, yeah, um, because it's like with, it's like with the truth and reconciliation thing in South

43:54Africa. You know, when, um, Desmond Tutu, uh, I was, because I was there earlier this year in South Africa, fascinating, looking at some of the parallels, um, when the whole apart, I think full apart and these awful truths came out about how Winnie Mandela, nurse Mandela's wife, had essentially murdered people, um, who weren't, this is an interesting, we're back to the truth that we're back to the Puritan side, yeah, yeah, yeah. She had people murdered who haven't been quite on message enough with, um, with the new regime, you know, with the, sure, sure, there was, there was, there was sort of the rebellion because of what I, um, and there's a moving, honestly, I was in tears because Desmond Tutu sits in facing Winnie Mandela, right, and says, right, please, and he's got this very, he's

44:57got a slight list, please, Winnie, we've been friends for how many years and there's very calm, uh-huh, uh-huh, voice, unlike me, he's like, Winnie, it's good impression, yeah, do like it, it's good, but he's very, he says, please Winnie, for your own sake, say sorry, and, and accept the part you played in what happened, and she, you could see her pride, he's there going, you know, in the dress, in the fine room, that no normal black South African good off water, by the way, yeah, it's one of, and she said, okay, I admit, you know, I was there, it was about a particular murder, there's a young kid, they've just been bottling to a car in one of the townships, she said, I, I confess, I admit, um, I'm, I'm, and she

45:57never actually was, I'm sorry, I was kind of on to her, but you could, it was so difficult for, and he just went, and it was, and I think that, I can't make people do that, I can't nobody can, it's, it's, it's on, it's people's conscience, but I'm not going to stay angry at individuals forever, and to be honest, I, I kind of bought this up because in a way, I want to forgive Andrew Bridgian, I want to, I, I, you know, if I was a politician, maybe, who knows, maybe I would have done the same thing, I don't know because I'm, it's a hypothetical question. Yeah. Um, I know, uh, I've, Doc Malik expressed similar sentiment to, um, about, is it Malottra? Yes, Mahottra, he was another one that I've had, um, yes, I've had a similar journey with, um, and I put in, wrote in my book, it's interesting because this book that's like

47:02memoir, sort of essays and memoirs, I've put, there's quite a few things I've put where I'm starting to realise a little, a little path that I'm on, but other people may not join me on, but I have to be on, which is the, the path to forgiveness, um, yeah, wanting redemption for people, and because I'm a Christian and to do otherwise would be a very hypocritical and terrible, imagine if I was just like, it was quite big on that, wasn't it? Yeah, but he was quite big on that, you know, Christ, sort of, so, so, so there's, there's, um, it's a, you know, that's, I think that's that's part of who I am, is that there's, thankfully, I do at various stages, and I recognise it, have to sit down with my own anger and my own prejudices and, um, disappointments and, which is only natural because, and as I say on my podcast, there's nothing new under the sun,

48:06for all regimes, you know, Stalinism, you know, the Bolsheviks, the after-revolution, you know, all these things, Cambodia, South Africa, there would have been groups of people exactly like we are, who are going through the same thing, you can think this, no, you can't think this, so you can't do this, um, but I think, I'm right in saying that if at the heart, the heart of them, the Sojournitzins and, um, and very, and various other thinkers, um, if, if you have God in the, you know, the forefront of your mind, and it, that will ease your journey, yeah, that's, that's the best I can describe it, you know, but it is, it's, it's really hard because sometimes people just want me to go, back here, fucking can, like you can, whatever, whatever, whatever, all this, which is normal, because isn't that what people want, people want justice, they want justice, they do want, yeah, they want it now, and the thing is, will it ever come

49:13probably not, not in the way that we think it will? Oh, yeah, I agree, probably not. No, probably not. So, do we spend our time railing against it, or do we build, it's gonna say, build back better? Can you imagine? That's catchy, isn't it? That's catchy, isn't it? Anyway, testing, testing into my little W-E-F microphone here, my little badge. Yeah, or do we, do we create, again, something I was speaking about on my pod, in Czechoslovakia, during the communist, you know, during the, they were aligned with the Soviets, you know, for the 70s, and through 89, when it, when it communism fell, and Vashlav Harval, you know, all these group of, these group of thinkers, writers, poets, artists, basically got together and said, and this was, by the way, against a terrible regime

50:19that's worse than ours is at the moment, well, only just a storm or an arresting people and all that, and they got together and they said, we're gonna form a charter, called charter 77, and which is named after the year it was created, and it was basically, these are the principles, the first principles, we are, we want to show the government, this is how we want to live, these are sovereign rights, this is how we want to live our lives, to do, you know, freedom of, you know, religion, etc., etc., education, and they, they just handed out the pamphlets everywhere, and those people were, the government got wind of it, when the state, they were arrests, brutal, you know, sort of beatings, I mean, tech horrible stuff, but it's funny because when people say, hope it abs, you know, the abs, the people in the UK, you know, the various arrests have happened,

51:24well, it's probably just all made up, and nobody's really, I'm like, are you joking? This is how it starts. Starmer isn't necessarily like this obvious, you know, he's not like the, maybe the Czech regime, and there were, but it doesn't mean that given more opportunity, he couldn't be like that, because that's a whole... Are you talking about the theories that a lot of these things are staged to make people afraid? Yeah, yeah, and I would say, well, it didn't work with Vatula, in Vatula of Harvard was case in Czechoslovakia, or Sorjan Nitsson's case, in fact, if anything, the Gulag Archipelago, Archipelago, Archipelago, Archipelago, that was him going, essentially, yeah, to the Soviet, to the regime, so free speech to me as it has grown, it hasn't been diminished by arrests or by, certainly not in my case, I speak,

52:32as you know, I speak as I find, so there's an idea that people have been frightened, have been cowed, in a strange way, saying everything staged and not real is doing the job of the enemy. Right, actually, I see what you mean, yeah, yeah, so you think that the actual premise of that, kind of the logic of that, isn't even valid, really? No, not really, not saying that there aren't, obviously there are all sorts of false flags, as we know, all sort of things which aren't necessarily... Sure, sure, sure, sure. Which is kind of, we all agree on, but it's these... Well, we'll put it this way, I mean, when I was arrested, we'll talk about my bloody ukraiki, I was arrested in June 2023, June the, what was it, 27th, yeah, 23th, so it was outside the COVID inquiry in London, in Paddington, I had gone down to meet, it was early, it was, I think it was the first day

53:34or second day, and Matt Hancock was inside giving his evidence, his version of events, was if they were believable, and then, so there was some yellow boards down there, so fratisoneel and various, you know, various people, only a few of us, it wasn't many, but I was like, I'm going to go down and show my support for the guys, because you know, they were down there, and these wonderful yellow boards have been doing so much in the years, and went down there, and they were pressed there and everything, and the mist, I've got to be honest, did descend Jake, I did, there were a few foxes and fucking out, you know, when you face, that's the test, isn't it? When you're, exactly, it's all right, you can sit and just, yeah, right, objectively look at a situation, and oh, I'm calm, I forgive you, I forgive you, but when you see a line of press, who've all, for their various papers, pushed the harmful vaccines into children's arms, pregnant women, you just like, so I, I, yeah, I, the rib mist ascended, and a man came out and

54:39said, can you stop swearing? Because I was fucking hell, Nuremberg trial, you know, we need a Nuremberg, it's violated the Nuremberg code, that you understand, and all these guys just clicking, clicking away, because my hand caught was inside, she wasn't for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So then, the police turn up, or, or they're lurking, and what, unless this copper goes, if you swear again, if you swear again, I'm doing what police pointed, if you swear again. I can't, well, I thought you just, like, they're a bit strange. I don't think I'm going to go at me. Yes, it's very good, Jake, I'm, I'm going to throw the cap, let's do the window. If you swear again, we're going to rest you. Because I saw, I said to the desk sergeant, and the, the throng, you know, the few coppers that were there, I said, I'm really, really pleased that Hope and police station

55:39knows what a woman is. Okay, we got that in there. I got that in. I know, I was flirting slightly, maybe with a double arrest, so I choose the books, and it's literally this night, this nice copper, this copper's going, with the cell door, like that, and he doesn't want to close it. It's like when you say goodnight to your child, you know, I leave the light on. So leave the light, or, well, have you got one of those windows that you bring down on that? The funniest bit was, I was so tired, I had to stop myself from laughing out loud in the interview. I can imagine, yeah, you get sort of slightly giddy, don't you? I was conscious drunk. Yeah, I really was. I mean, I hadn't slept. I've been singing. I've been competing with Nigerians in the smell of shit. It was just, everything was just like swirling, fearing that there may be a fire. The thing that made me laugh, well, nearly laugh, and I had to just go close, you know, when you just see this, close it, like that, to look away, was when they read out what I'd

56:44swear in a serious way. So you said this, f**k, f**k you, f**king hell, f**k, it won't be long before people say, really? Oh, you're listening to Pink Floyd. I thought they were satanic. Yeah. Okay.