Shanay Fulton: From a Homeless Shelter to Elected Office

Ask why people stay and the honest answer is usually arithmetic. The finances were pooled, the other person controls them, and the hours you were allowed to work were the hours that suited them. Shanay Fulton walked out with ninety dollars and a car that died shortly afterward, in a state where she had no family.

Shanay Fulton is an advocate on housing, homelessness, and children, an author, and an elected official in Middletown, Connecticut. She was first elected to the planning and zoning commission and now sits on the city council; she also runs an organization supporting single-parent families, which she first joined as a parent volunteer, and she serves on the governor's workforce council. She holds a master's in public administration. She and Lisa first crossed paths years earlier, both giving testimony in support of Jennifers' Law, Connecticut's expansion of the legal definition of domestic violence to include coercive control. Her book is Peace. Happiness. Love: A Journey to Healing.

She walks through the housing myths first: that a shelter is easy to get into, that a shelter leads to housing, that a family with children is prioritized. Families are harder to place than single adults because there are fewer family shelters, and Lisa raises the specific problem of teenage sons and of pets, both of which limit where you can go. Shanay ended up in a homeless shelter rather than a domestic violence shelter, and she describes the reality of it: entering past the men's floor, three flights of stairs with a child in her arms because the elevator was off-limits, eight or nine family rooms sharing a handful of bathrooms, assigned cleaning duties, and eviction if you missed yours. She was there from January until the end of June, then six years in transitional housing.

The rest of the conversation is what she wishes she had known and what she now tells families. Call 2-1-1 at the start, which she says would likely have produced a pro bono attorney and other assistance years earlier. Report utilities being cut off when there is a child in the home. Ask whether your city will pay for an emergency hotel stay. She also talks about being pro se against an ex with counsel, filing fee waivers and what happens when one is denied, and the way a court fight functions as a method of keeping you broke. She has not seen her younger son in about two years. She and Lisa close on how sharing her story led to a board seat, then a panel, then a run for office, and on the day she surprised her children with a house she had bought, which is the moment that ended up in a PBS documentary about housing in Connecticut.

As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.

🎓 What you'll learn

• Why housing, not resolve, is where leaving most often breaks down
• What getting into a shelter actually takes, and why families are harder to place
• Who shelters cannot always take: teenage sons, pets, and what to plan around
• Why utilities shut off with a child in the home is something you can report
• Calling 2-1-1, and the help she found out years later she could have had
• Emergency hotel assistance through your city, and how to ask about it
• How a court fight against a represented ex becomes a way to keep you broke
• Fee waivers, motion costs, and what pro se really demands of your time

⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Why housing is where leaving breaks down
5:00 Shelter myths, and what getting in actually takes
9:00 Teenage sons, pets, and who shelters cannot take
13:00 Leaving with ninety dollars
15:00 Utilities cut off, and the right she did not know she had
17:00 Hotels, and the night he was waiting in her room
19:00 Inside the shelter: the stairs, the bathrooms, the floor duties
23:00 Pro se in court, and what her children watched
31:00 Legal abuse as a way to keep you broke
37:00 Call 2-1-1, and the resources nobody tells you about
42:00 From sharing her story to running for office

Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Shanay N. Fulton: https://shanayfulton.com/
🔗 Peace. Happiness. Love: A Journey to Healing on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Peace-Happiness-Love-Journey-Healing/dp/B0C9S7PHQ8

About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.