9 Mistakes That Make Your 1st Homeschool Year Stressful (& How to Avoid Them)

0:00What if I told you that most new homeschool moms unknowingly make these nine mistakes? Mistakes that can turn their first year into a stressful struggle. And what if avoiding just a few of them could completely change your homeschool experience? Stick around because I'm about to reveal what those mistakes are and exactly how you can steer clear of them. Hello there and welcome to the homeschool mom-a-self care podcast. The space where overwhelmed homeschool moms come to reclaim their voice, rediscover their spark, and lead their kids and their lives aligned from the inside out. I'm Teresa Weedrick, graduated homeschool mom, turned certified life coach and your guide to showing up whole, grounded, and fully you in the thick of this homeschool life. If you're just starting out on your homeschool journey this year, welcome. I'm so glad you're here. You're about to begin such a fun and memorable chapter of your family life. You are in

1:04the right place if you are feeling the weight of big questions, imposter syndrome, or wondering if you're approaching it all in the right way. This space is here to help you build confidence, find clarity, and create a homeschool life that truly fits you and your unique family. And if you're a regular listener and a seasoned homeschool mom, this podcast is also for you. A chance to refresh your confidence, reconnect with your intentions, and realign your homeschool mom life when the overwhelmed or imposter syndrome creeps in. Around here we talk about the real stuff, the overwhelmed, the guilt, the beautiful moments, and the growth breakthroughs, and how to nurture you while you nurture your kids. So your homeschool feels aligned from the inside out. I'm so glad you're here. Now, before we dive into these nine common mistakes, I want to let you know that I've created a free training called the nine mistakes to avoid a stressful first

2:08homeschool year. In that training, I not only break down each mistake, but I also share practical strategies you can use right away to avoid feeling overwhelmed and to build confidence in your homeschool journey. If you want to follow along and get access to those strategies in detail, be sure to check the show notes for the link to that training. You can head over to my website capturing the charmedlife.com and look for this episode titled nine mistakes to avoid a stressful first homeschool year. I want you to know that less than two decades ago, my first homeschool year, I did every single one of these. So all of this is from lived experience. But now that my four kids are nearly all grown, I'm no longer home educating, but I am serving as a certified life coach for homeschool

3:11moms. I get to watch other homeschool moms be challenged by these mistakes too. Greatfully, I can help them through it. Okay, so let's dive into the nine common mistakes. The first one, trying to do it perfectly. It is so easy to fall into the trap of perfectionism. We want the perfect curriculum, the perfect schedule, the perfect homeschool environment. We want all the right things because at the very least, we need to do as well as what the school would do, right? We didn't do this homeschool thing so that we would do a mediocre job, a mediocre job that wouldn't serve our kids education. No, we did this because we want to serve our kids. We want them to have a feast of activities and ideas set before them. We want them to follow the rabbit trails, develop their passions. We want them to live purposeful lives when they're eight and they're 12 and they're 16 and even

4:15on into adulthood. So we got to do this right. But perfectionism often comes from that deep, not good enough story inside of us. Do you know you're not good enough story, the one that tells you you're okay except that or you would be fine, but if you only didn't do such and such, the truth is your homeschool doesn't have to look perfect. It won't. But whether it looks perfect or it doesn't, whether it feels perfect or it isn't, this is not a reflection of you and whether you are good enough. Your worth is not found in your homeschool or your homeschool story. Your goal is to make your homeschool work for your family. So give yourself

5:15permission to let go of unrealistic expectations. This conversation point about letting go of the not good enough story can often lead to all sorts of troubles inside our lives, the way we interact with others, the way that we expect things from ourselves and others. If this is a specific challenge for you, you're welcome to join me in the aligned homeschool reset conversation that you and I can have. It's a 30 minute conversation where you can get clear on what's really going on in your homeschool mom life. I can help you chart a plan. I call it an action plan to get clear on what the next steps are to overcome. You're not good enough story. Okay, so second common mistake is this, not building a support network. So the thing about homeschooling, when we hear a conversation point about socialization, we recoil. Can I hear a name in or is that just me? I don't think it is.

6:23My instinct when I hear someone discuss the concept of socialization with the kids, I'm like, sigh this again. However, I do recognize that some people just have not had their questions answered in this area. And so you know if that happens to be you, I'm going to have an episode of the next few weeks about socialization and why the value of homeschool mom or homeschool parent socialization is more beneficial than school socialization. And true confession. Before I began homeschooling, before I even considered it, I thought to myself, I can't do that. I want to be normal. I don't want my kids to be weird. I don't want to be perceived as weird. And I don't wear jean jumpers. So I too had to overcome those challenges of socialization for the kids. However, I'm not concerned about socialization

7:24for homeschool kids. I think that this challenge can be a challenge for us, the homeschool mom. I know because I hear it from you, that homeschooling can feel lonely. Also, I know it, because I experienced it myself. When we first began homeschooling officially, we moved into a new community. I didn't know anybody. But then to top it off, we started traveling for seven years. And so I really didn't know people as we were traveling. Now I had amazing experiences and I'm not complaining, but I didn't get proactive and develop a support network as well as I could have homeschooling felt lonely. So whether it is online communities like my virtual confident homeschool mom collective or you put a note on a Facebook page and you say, hey, is anybody around the such and such an area and would they like to meet at the park? Or of course, coaching support often acts like a support network. Many moms have told me that

8:30they really appreciate having someone because the world is little isolated and they don't feel connected or supported by family. A common mistake for first year homeschool parents and really homeschool parents all the way through is to not build a support network. The third common mistake this might be the biggest mistake is to ignore yourself your own needs. Ignore that you too are human in your homeschool life. You are the nurturer but you also need nurturing. You are taking care of all of the people's needs their educational needs their nutrition needs their driving needs anytime they say mom can I have 20 bucks I'm going to youth group you're providing all the needs it is so common for us to pay attention to all those needs and not pay attention to hours

9:31I'm pretty sure this is a mom thing this isn't just a homeschool mom thing but certainly as a homeschool mom it's definitely a homeschool mom thing. Burnout is real and a burnout prevention plan is a necessity if you want to do this homeschool thing over the long term. The fourth common mistake is to try to replicate traditional school at home. Now I actually wouldn't tell you not to do it because I think to some extent you actually need to see how much the school at home experience really doesn't work inside the home but maybe just have a conversation with me here consider my thoughts before you try to do the eight to four private school routine that I did in my homeschool early days. We don't have a framing on education outside of what we experienced and even if

10:33for second-generation homeschool moms we still are surrounded with the concept of education that is interpreted in a very specific way in our culture and also as possible that our moms homeschooled us in a way that was very traditional too. I know that the generation before me or maybe the half generation before me that was homeschooling had really limited options in how they would go about their homeschool and so many of them did things in a traditional way purchasing textbooks in a very traditional format. Traditional school or conventional school practices are in our generations they are part of what we understand in education to be until we bring a school at home and we begin to recognize that some of the stuff that we're doing is unnecessary that it really feels like we're just checking boxes and crossing off a list of

11:38activities for what reason because I'm doing topics that my kids already know or this is really easy for my kids is this this is really what I'm supposed to do for 180 instructional days and I say no is your goal to check off a list is your goal to complete every page of a textbook homeschooling is your chance to create a personalized values aligned education one that fits your unique family trying to replicate traditional school at home is a challenge for the new homeschool mom the fifth common challenge is a lack of flexibility we create rigid schedules because we want to align what we're doing with the expectations of a conventional education outside of us the things that we've learned are real education we have to put them into the routine so it must get done

12:43and kids down the street are going to conventional school and they are doing things that we don't have access to we never even thought about I can remember a period in my homeschool where the this topic I didn't know anything about it I hadn't been introduced to it I hadn't studied it and I said I don't know what that is I should probably do a little deep dive on this it was plate tectonics now I'm familiar but there was a time I did not even know it was a thing to engage with my kids well that didn't feel good I thought surely I am failing my children they will not have access to this knowledge bit what will happen to my kids if I just keep the routine if I maintain the routine and seek out curriculum from someone outside of me then they will be the repository

13:43of all knowledge and I will be able to take that knowledge and put it into my children's brains so therefore they have a complete and full education except that I'm not sure if you happen to have a cell phone android or iPhone but all I know is that everything that is known to mankind is presently available to us there so the question is why do we care so much about making sure our children don't miss any knowledge bits ask yourself right now what are some of the gaps that you had during your conventional school years or even from your homeschool years everyone has gaps no one knows everything is that the point of an education so instead of trying to align ourselves into our rigid schedules we need to aim for more flexibility we can set up our routines

14:50in such a way that there is a predictable habit every day at a certain time of day I'll talk about habit stacking for homeschool moms in the upcoming months you can incorporate predictability in your days and please incorporate fun so much fun because learning is fun but allow space for spontaneity you can have a routine and then there's going to be space for you to do things like fun Friday deciding on a Friday do you want to do the same kind of fun Friday activities you usually do or do you want to go do some random field trip that you discovered on Facebook in your local support group that everybody's joining to do you have the space for spontaneity you have the space to lean in to child inspired learning when your child is curious about something that is a learning moment pursue it a common mistake that homeschool moms make in the first year

15:56is a lack of flexible routine the sixth common mistake is second guessing yourself or or being overwhelmed by imposter syndrome it is so normal to feel uncertain and question your choices um but I just want to help you understand or unpack this I've shared this before on another episode when I first trained as a nurse I trained for four years I actually happened to work inside a labor and delivery unit as a unit clerk for three of those years night shifts that's actually where I met my husband and so I was trained for four years as a nurse and I remember practicing old CNATs exams in that day way back when the expectation for national licensure was through the Canadian national assessment testing I think I've got that right anyways CNATs and so I was in

16:58Alberta at the time I was graduated and then I got married and then I was studying for the next few months and then I moved to Ontario and when I was in Ontario I spent a lot of time studying and I remember being really afraid that I somehow would not pass the CNATs exam even though I did really well in nursing school and I studied and studied and studied I passed the exam relieved I am a registered nurse I have done this I have become a registered nurse I've got my bachelor in science I've had oodles of practicums I've watched other women deliver babies I did not truly participate in delivering the babies but I was alongside them in that role I was helping all manner of patients on all sorts of units around Edmonton Alberta in hospitals around Edmonton and I was now ready to take on my own patients on a maternity unit at Kingston General Hospital

18:06I'll tell you when they said hey meet at seven o'clock for rounds I had my navy blue scrubs on so proud of them we finally were able to wear scrubs that weren't white I was wearing my navy blue scrubs I had my navy blue stethoscope wrapped around my knack I was just so pleased with what I was wearing I had the credentials I knew when to meet I signed in I went to the right space and I remember when the head nurse was sharing with me what it was that I needed to or the people that I needed to take care of and what was going on with them the babies they just had I was terrified are you seriously going to let me take care of these people no I did not say that out loud but in my head panic are you kidding me I'm supposed to be doing this I am not equipped to this task yeah actually I am officially the Canadian national

19:09licensor had said in fact I was but I didn't feel like I was over the course of that year I worked in a perinital float pool so I was working in labor and delivery or the anti-partum I was working in maternity I was working in gyne and pediatrics and I loved all my experiences they also gave me a month in a med search unit and so I got to have a lot of wonderful experiences but it wasn't probably until the third or fourth month where I started to feel like I can do this I'm a registered nurse I'm capable to this I've been trained I've been taught I've got a tiny bit of experience underneath my belt I can do this that imposter syndrome feeling that I had that I began with in my nursing program it didn't disappear because somebody said I'll bequeath you a homeschool mom or I bequeath you registered nurse no it was because I put the reps in I learned as I went I got experience I researched I did a

20:18lot of research I was checking myself does this make sense should I be doing this talking to other people reading things I remember feeling that imposter syndrome experience it wasn't true but I felt it when I practiced doing the thing the next thing for me perinatal nursing for you educating your children when you experience this imposter syndrome acknowledge those feelings but don't let them stop you just wake up every morning grab your cup of coffee check your morning basket what you're going to do for the day or your day timer and do the thing until you build that confidence now I actually go into a lot deeper discussion on imposter syndrome there's a lot of different ways to address it but I'm going to leave this here at this moment this this bit of conversation about second guessing yourself just refuel