
775.The Coaching Paradox: Finding Transformation Through Stillness - With Nic Askew
About this episode
In this episode, I speak with filmmaker and interviewer Nic Askew about presence, stillness, and what it means to truly see another human being. Drawing on decades of creating deeply intimate filmed conversations, Nic shares his perspective on why the most meaningful moments emerge not through technique or performance, but by letting go of agenda and allowing something authentic to unfold.
We explore what this means for coaches, examining the paradox at the heart of coaching: while clients often come seeking outcomes, the greatest transformations frequently happen when neither coach nor client is striving to get somewhere. Nic explains why where we speak from matters more than what we say, and how genuine presence can create the conditions for insight that no framework or methodology can manufacture.
The conversation also explores the relationship between stillness and identity, the difference between speaking from the thinking mind and speaking from a deeper place of awareness, and why experiences such as creativity, improvisation, and embodied coaching often feel as though they arise from something beyond conscious effort. Mark brings both curiosity and scepticism to the discussion, questioning whether such an intangible approach can be taught and how it fits within the realities of professional coaching.
Along the way, we discuss the tension between process and presence, the challenge of communicating transformational work without overpromising outcomes, the role of uncertainty in coaching, and why creating space for people to encounter themselves may be one of the most powerful things a coach can offer.
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