767. The Wealth Thermostat - Why You Keep Earning More and Going Nowhere

0:00Thank you for joining me today, it's Brian Gubernek, and welcome to the No Days Off Podcast, where we believe that every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. Have you ever had a really good month? Maybe the best month you've ever had financially, and then almost without explanation, the next month falls apart. Or maybe you've hit a certain income level. And no matter what you do, you can't seem to break through it. You take two steps forward, but then you take two steps back, and you do this over and over again. If that sounds familiar to you, I want to introduce you to a concept today that I was taught

1:01years ago, and this concept might be one of the most important things that you hear this year with respect to your wealth building. It's called the Wealth Thermostat. Here's the idea, and every one of us has an internal financial set point, a number or a range that feels normal to us. It feels comfortable and familiar and safe. And just like the thermostat that is on your wall at your home, when the temperature drifts too far in either direction, the system kicks on to bring it back. If you make significantly more than your set point, your subconscious mind finds a way to spend it, or lose it, or give it away. If you make significantly less, you seem to find ways to recover, to hustle back to familiar ground. In other words, the thermostat almost always wins.

2:03And less, of course, you consciously reset it. And this was the lesson taught to me by a mentor. Now, where does this set point come from? I think it's important to recognize where it first comes from before we can address it. Because it's not random. I think it's a part of a more important question. So your financial thermostat was largely programmed in your childhood. It was programmed by what you watched, what you heard, by the beliefs that were modeled for you, whether it was intentional or not. If you grew up in a household where money was always tight, or where the conversation around money was more stressful, and it was about scarcity, where wealth was something other people had, that got wired into you. And now, decades later, even if your circumstances are completely different, the old programming

3:08is still running in the background. It's pulling you back to what feels normal. This is just how so many of us are hardwired. And here's what self-sabotage actually looks like, because that's kind of where we're going with this. Because it doesn't always look like blowing money on some extravagant expense or a sports car or whatever. Sometimes it just looks like undercharging for your services. Just charging what your worth feels a little uncomfortable. Sometimes it looks like avoiding a conversation that could lead to a bigger deal. And that's because something in you doesn't believe you belong at that table. Sometimes it looks like lifestyle creep or inflation that perfectly offsets every income increase that you've had. You make more so you spend more. And the net worth, your net worth number barely moves.

4:09Sometimes it looks like talking yourself out of an investment, finding every reason why that investment won't work when really the size of the opportunity just exceeded what your thermostat was set to handle. See, that's not a willpower problem. That's not an intelligence problem. That's a programming issue. So the big question here is, how do you reset it? How do you reset this thermostat? See, I think there are three things that actually move the dial, the thermostat. The first is identity work. No surprise. It's been the buzz word for me. It is around identity. Not work around your income but work around your identity. See, most people try to change their financial results by changing their behaviors, working harder, saving more, investing differently. And those things matter. Don't get me wrong. Things matter. But if the identity underneath hasn't changed, the thermostat overrides the behavior every time.

5:10You have to start seeing yourself as someone who belongs at the next level. And you have to see that before you get there, not after. This is why visualization isn't some just fluffy self-help sort of content. If you do it seriously, it's literally reprogramming that set point that I'm describing. So you are training your subconscious to recognize a new normal. The second thing that you could do to actually move the dial is what I'm going to call proximity. You've got to get around people who are operating at the level you want to reach. Not to compare yourself, not to be intimidated, but just because proximity normalizes some of this. See, when you spend time around people for whom your next financial goal is just a Tuesday, everything's going to shift in you. The ceiling becomes the new floor. What felt impossible starts to feel like inevitable.

6:11I have personally experienced this. I have gone through this. And I've watched it happen with people I've worked alongside. The environment that you're in recalibrates a thermostat faster than almost anything else. The third way to change that set point, change that thermostat is learning to sit with the discomfort of growth. Breaking through your set point does not feel like winning at first. That's just the truth. It feels uncomfortable. It feels like you're out over your skis. It feels like you're even pretending. That feeling that is not a warning sign. It's the thermostat trying to pull you back. So recognize it for what it is and stay the course anyhow. So here's your action item. I want you to identify your well thermostat. I want you to get very specific. What is the income level or the net worth number that feels normal to you right now? It's a big question. Think about that one.

7:11What is the income level or net worth number that feels normal to you right now? Not necessarily what you want, not what you're working toward. What feels familiar right now? Write that number down. Then write down that number. I'm sorry. Then write down the number that represents your next level. The one that feels slightly out of reach. Now I want you to ask yourself this question. What belief would I have to let go of to make that second number feel normal? Now write that down too. Because that belief, that's the thermostat setting. That's what's being protected. And I am a huge fan of awareness. Awareness is the first step to change. You cannot reset a thermostat that you don't know exists. Now you know it exists. Now you know it exists. So let's go better to find hours and the steps that we're going to take around changing that set point.

8:14That's all I have for you today. The No Days Off podcast. Thank you so much for listening. And remember every single day brings a new opportunity to get better. So let's get after it.