#60: The Truth About Connection: Why Success Feels Empty Without It

Ambitious people fall into a trap: You've learned from a young age that achievement means love, and so, you chase achievement and other external markers of success only to realize the gnawing void is still there. 

Most think their childhood patterns will get dissolved by father time. But the truth is, these patterns adapt to your knowledge, and become masters of disguising themselves.Take, for example, the seductive idea of independence. For ambitious men, independence is really isolation in disguise, which leads to deep loneliness (even if you have an attractive wife, thousands of followers, or are the most popular person in any room). 

And no amount of external success can save you from this trap. But connection can. 

Connection isn't natural when you've spent your entire life building armor around you. But it is learnable. It is the antidote to loneliness. And it is something that can save a broken marriage. 

But first, you have to ask yourself (and be honest): Who knows the real you? The you behind all of your masks? 

In today's show, you'll discover why connection is the only solution to isolation and loneliness. And how to reconnect with yourself and others.

Listen now.

Show Highlights Include:

• Why ambitious people confuse isolation for independence and slowly fall into the abyss of loneliness (0:38) 
• How building a company, buying a mansion, and dating beautiful women can make you hide from others and even yourself (4:19) 
• 3 things all human secretly crave for and why success, status, and wealth alone can't fill this void (6:18) 
• Why childhood patterns don't disappear as you grow up (and how understanding this can save a marriage) (8:06) 
• How shutting down negative emotions like shame and sadness also prevent you from feeling excitement and joy (11:08) 
• The "Emotional Suppression to Addiction" pipeline that's one of the most common patterns I see in my office (12:48) 
• How married men who do "everything right" (but don't actually connect) drive their wife into someone else's arms (13:35) 
• The "SOAR Pillars" secret for tearing down your emotional walls and feeling genuine connection for the first time in your life (15:38) 
• 4 steps to reestablish your self-connection (18:43) 

For more about David Tian, go here:

https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ 

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