#573 - Denim Condoms and Prunes: A Strange Episode

0:00Hello everyone, the Ellison John Cinematic Universe is now available to all. Yes, head to patreon.com slash Ellison John for Lords of Extra Content, including our brand new film series The Adventures of Ellison John, fully visualised podcast episodes twice a week and behind the scenes bonus content. So to watch shows, get at free episodes and come on adventures with me, Ellison Dave, head to patreon.com slash Ellison John. Labor Day deals are looking good at lows. Save $10 on one gallon cans and $50 on five gallon pales of select interior paint via rebate. Plus, get 2.5 court to three court mums for just $8. A fresh look and savings? Even better. Labor Day deals are on now at lows. In store and online, valid through 9.9, Wasteplyze-last, mum-size is varied by location and excluded lasken hawaii. See storeloas.com for more details. This episode is sponsored by Zockdoc. Have you been putting off a doctor's appointment or

1:03needed Dennis and you don't know where to start? We've definitely been there and that's why we use Zockdoc. Actually, over the holidays, Michael had a dental emergency and seemingly every office was closed. But we hopped on to Zockdoc, found an in-network dentist, had great reviews, so real time appointments available, which was key. It was on New Year's Day and booked in appointment in just minutes. It took so much of the stress out of the already stressful situation. Zockdoc makes it easy to search and compare over 250,000 local in-network providers across more than 200 specialties. So you can find the right doctor or Dennis and book instantly. Taking care of your health just got easier. Download the Zockdoc app today and book that appointment on your to-do list. That's Zocdoc. Hello there listeners. The question I'm often asked is, are you worried about John?

2:21Are my answers changes with the seasons? Something that shows great personal growth in John's part is that people no longer say to me, aren't you worried about John? Because listeners therapy works. However, on Thursday, the 27th of August, I saw a thing that means I'll never worry about John again, because Robbins is winning at life. What a career. He does this show. He emcees big gigs. His golf column is no longer active. That was his decision and he does the best mental health podcast in what is an increasingly crowded, evilucrative market. I'd question one of those. Yeah. Okay. On the 27th of August, at a campsite in the south of France, I watched Tiarae, a French animateur that someone who leads recreational activities for holiday makers lead a late night pool party. His enthusiasm was in texture slash-demendid, considering he'd already hosted karaoke, coached a football session for children age 5 to 16, worked by the bar and led an aquarobics class. As far as I could tell, he wasn't on cocaine. As he turned the volume up on his favourite song,

3:25the barhar men's who let the dogs out. He led us all in a call and response. Okay, d'accord, any va, any va? Just ligasson, just the men, just the boys. Très bien, just the fam, just the women. Okay, d'accord, c'est bien, repeatable moi, just repeat after me, just the fam, trois, deux, un, sexy. And everyone had to copy him. Dave, he's got a seven-figure income here. Who, Tiedi? It was at this point that he whispered in my ear, imagine if that was John's job. And I laugh for about 40 minutes. Big howling gales of laughter. Then, for the rest of the holiday, I said everything through the prism of that being the next chapter in John's life. Tiedi's extremely long hours. His perma smile, always being responsible for hundreds of British, French, German and Dutch tourists, something a good time.

4:26Playing who let the dogs out 50 times a day. And as Izzy pointed out, zero time for self-reflection. How can you explore the darkest recesses of the mind when you're playing who let the dogs out on your Bluetooth speakers? Where does Tieri find the time for wordle or to maintain his boggle relationships? But Tieri didn't seem to care. As we checked out on the final day, I said, if you considered mixing it up by playing Kotnijou by Rednex and he said, Jadour Kotnijou. We all make choices. And John is machine-engineered from self the perfect life. I've stayed into the abyss on his behalf. As we drove away, he said, I like it, Tieri. Maybe you should be animators for the day as some Patreon bonus content, I said, no, that would push us both over the edge. Though I do think David quite a good idea. Wow. It's like a sort of French campsite, um, red coat. But why, what I don't understand is why doesn't he have a team of red coats, so he doesn't have to go behind the bar and play who let the dogs out at.

5:26He did do all that. The guy did not stop. It was unreal. And his enthusiasm was insane. So do you think that is just the kind of disposition that I would, there's no sum I wouldn't pay to have that disposition? Or do you think when he clocks off, it's just thought can eat. Well, we talked a lot about it because he was everywhere. And his enthusiasm never dimmed. And the way he'd get just the men to go, and just the girls to go, and then he go, okay, just the girls, now it's your turn. Sexier. It's cool. It's very, very funny. With people who's enthusiasm never dims, because often you will spend a bit of time with them, and you think, God, I wish I was, I wish I could be like that. And you spend a bit more time with them. And you think, I'm not sure it's a good sign that they're like that. And then every so often you catch them when they're, no one else is looking.

6:29Staring into the lake. Yeah. And it's like something from a sort of, like a apocalypse, all of a stone film. Yeah. Because what's his name again? Tieri. Tieri, did you get the sort of platoon vibe from him? No, I reckon he was about, I think he was a bit older than me. I think he was probably about 50. And he lived on site. I only ever saw him wear the campsite uniform. I reckon he's got about three possessions. I think he's got a toothbrush. Yeah. Some shower gel and his wallet. And I think that is it. And has he been background? I don't know. I don't know what the French system is. Well, because my question would be why has he only got a toothbrush, a wallet, and a pencil? We don't know this about him. We don't know this to be clear. So we're not giving him a surname. It's not going to write to reply. God bless the guy. He had a thought after that career at Aastle. He'd have purchased the toilet. But no, I just, I have so many questions about those sorts of people that sort of live a life.

7:30I sort of desperately want, but think I would hate. Well, after about day three, as he was like, I actually want his life. I reckon it's very simple. He gets up. He coaches the kids at football. Then he goes on to do the water, rubyx class. Then he serves drinks. But it's like he's on the run. Then he does karaoke. Then he does the pool party. But my guess is if he sits still for a second, he would scream and never stop crying. Whereas I need a sort of, I need to, I need a bit of that. Also, I kept reading an article about Donald Trump. Apparently he's just got this Boris Johnson, this is what apparently this sort of irrepressible energy. They're just always full of beans and on the go. Donald Trump obviously famous. He's often golf doesn't exercise because he thinks it's bad for you. I exercise quite a lot and I don't have irrepressible energy. I would love to meet, I mean, I've had it very hard to get up in the morning. And I just love, I'm slashed, fascinated by those people when the alarm goes,

8:33okay, let's do it. Let's go because I've never been like that. Not even when I was six or seven. But to an extent, they're running from something. Do you reckon? Because I did shut a theory and I said, what you do enough to this from the season ends, he says, I'm going to go and live with my sister. Okay. That's fine. I think he bloody loves it. I think you can get away with it when it's that full on that you just explain. You can't do that. I'm not love it. No, you can't thank you. But you can use it to protect yourself from something else maybe from the quiet hours. Yeah, maybe he'd be just like people who live on barges. I'd love to live on a barge in my mind. I wouldn't. I know exactly. Oh, I did do it. The toilets. Yeah, I didn't know but living on a barge. It looks great. For the outside in the optics are superb. But I think once you really get involved, maybe now. I was just jealous of his energy. And also when he did get all the women to repeat sexy,

9:37my brother-in-law did say, I shouldn't do it in that in England. You couldn't get away with it. I don't know what the red coats are doing in England these days. What's that? What's that? Cleaning up sick and filing police reports. Oh, you have to explain it. But it's true. That's part of the one. No, no, no, no, no. 2026. Yeah. You can keep it. Yeah. Dave, Alison John live on a barge for a day. On the same barge. Like Rosie and Jim, but Alison John, I mean, for an adventure's episode, we sail a barge. I'd love to do the last. Yes, you know what, the last. I've done locks. I did it in a Hampton Bridge last year. I'm sure one of us makes my ex-facts and drinks a couple of bottles of wine. It doesn't matter which one of us it is. And he's all lost in the edit. No one really knows. And quite, it's never comes back. Quite glad John doesn't want us to be red coats of the day because I would have never. I absolutely could not do that. I think Lee Mac did that. I don't know that's the list of Michael Redcoats. No, no. Oh, come on. No, first. Despite what I've said about Tieri, I have the utmost respect for entertainers.

10:39What about dealing with people and kids? Okay, what about 1830 reps and Cavos? Dave, wouldn't, wouldn't, I mean, I'm 14 years too old. No, but you can be, you can be the manager. Never the reps. That would, it's not a great look. It's not a great look, no. I would be rubbish at that. I always was desperate to do that. I'm, I'm a man of doubt. But I wouldn't have enjoyed it because I'd always end up saying, but it's fine you don't have to do if you don't want to. Yeah. And they never say that. They're reps. It's cleaning up sick, filing police support, but in a foreign language. I went on an 18 to 30 when I was 18 and I had to drink a kind of beer through a sock in front of about 300 cheering scams. Yeah. Yeah. But I, I, yeah, I don't think I can make someone else do that. I'm just too low-key. Tell you what, Dave, there used to be fairies that went from Newcastle to Amsterdam for like the sort of the, I think it's probably the cheapest possible booze, cruise for, for people who just want to get absolutely hammered.

11:43Yeah. I think they might still run. They had comedy gigs on them. Did they? Yeah. That's quite fun. I cannot imagine that. So Ellis hosts why I'm not comparing that. Whilst I watch from CCTV in my lounge. Okay. You watch the lounge on the ferry or my lounge at home. Oh, you're back at home. Okay. I wouldn't last two minutes, comp MC and that gig. You'd come. He'd come. He'd come reconnect with the load of people from the North East. I used to do junglers gigs, but I've lost those skills, I'm afraid. Well, I got a text off Ellis on Wednesday night about quarter to seven. Just saying, Dave, just remind me, which bar was it that you got a glass in it? 18. I thought, that's nice about this to show an interest. It probably just popped into his head. So I'd, you know, text back, I was called Papparazzi. But I only had text about like two hours later and there's only then one I went on Instagram. I realised he'd asked that because he wanted to use it on bloody castle feel bowls stage. Yeah, I brought you to distributive. Yeah. But it was a lot of fun. Papparazzi. He was doing a gig in the rain at the world centre of Kegools.

12:46Yes. It's the gig that's made for Ellis James. I did. I did some Kegools stuff on the top. Yeah. You got it. You showed it out some brands. Got people to cheer. Good fun. Yeah. Right. So folks, for those of you who heard our podcast on last Friday, you'll be aware that something pretty exceptional is going to happen on the show today. Ellis and John are like a shark. If we stand still, well, that's impressive for a shark. They don't really stand today. But we die. Yeah. So still up. So it gives us two options backwards or forwards quite often it's backwards. Yeah. But every so often, we take a leap forward in what's possible in podcasting. Yeah. Push the boundary. And the rest of the market catch up with us. Yeah. So you're saying the rest of history is going to be doing this. They're going to be doing something. Sandbrook. Linnika is on the edge of his seat right now. Do you know I have good authority on.

13:48There is a feature that we do called the Cumbria connection. Yeah. There is a big pod. And I won't name the pod, but there is a big pod that is, has got two huge names on it. Money box. I'm not, I'm not really anymore because it's not my place to say. Big, big names and terms of like, and Simon. Length of, length of surname like Schwarzenegger. No, I like it. Should be part of anyway in their brainstorm meetings about once a month ago, but we need a Cumbria connection. That's what our version of the Cumbria connection. That's so funny. And I love it. I love that we are, you know, we're in brainstorm meetings because people want to do what I don't know. My running order just, just when you're that improves my, yeah, we're the gold standard. Yeah. Okay. Well, no way. Davey, you mad. That can't be right. Good authority. Good authority. Well, go on. That's the best, that's the best news ever.

14:48Apart from, apart from being told that I don't have to do Tieri's job. That's the best news I've ever been given. This ad is sponsored by ZockDoc. Hi. It's Danny Pellegrino from Everything I Connect. Have you been putting off that annual doctor's appointment because you don't want to make the call? Or maybe you've been meaning to find a new dentist, but you have no idea where to start? I find that's especially true and you move. It's hard to find your people. I've been there, which is why I use ZockDoc. Now, as a busy podcaster parent and someone who's always juggling a million things, I love anything that makes life easier. And ZockDoc lets you search and compare local in network doctors with over 250,000 providers across more than 200 specialties. You can read reviews from real patients, find a provider who feels like the right fit. See actual appointment openings and book instantly. I recently had a last minute health issue pop up and I needed to see someone fast and instead of calling around or sitting on hold, I found a doctor on ZockDoc and booked an

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17:54Well, it's time for us to do our own Friday afternoon takeaway. Because as we said on Friday, this is a podcasting first. Ellis James is going to eat a prune. Play the trailer again, Dave. Oh, do you want the trailer again? Sorry, Zoff. We hadn't prepped you to play the trailer. Here we go. He said it had never been done. He thought it was the impossible dream. Now is all that about to change forever. One man must have never thought of it. One piece of dried fruit. One question. Will he es himself again like he did in Butte Park after too many red bulls? From the creators of the comrey connection. Made up games.

18:54And job walks around an outdated. Get ready for. Ellis eats a prune. In podcast feeds from Tuesday 8th of September. Ellis eats a prune as a significant production and association with prunes. Where did we get Christopher Nolan from for that, Michael? I've never had one. I've been around them. Yeah, I've seen them. I've always been scared of them because of the famous slash infamous laxative effect. Dave, could we get sponsorship from prunes? Well, prunes aren't a brand. Is it a prune marketing thing? There must be a big prune lobbying. Oh, yeah, look, some, some things. Is it a prune pressure group? There must be a prune pressure group. Because I was going to put it in the, I was going to put the name in the trailer. Because it was milk mark, because then the, which is the milk mark. Cheese board. The egg board. Yeah. Big egg. Big egg.

19:55Sun sweet. Who's one of them? Is that prune brand? Famous for large juicy Amazon pitted prunes. Okay. Amazon. I got obviously, I got a sweet call influencer to try green giant on stage at Somerset House. Oh, yeah. You do. Marianne and Sun made, sent d'afford and made through a pruneal. A rather, a rather brand. So why have I got to play in a spoon in front of me? Oh, it's just in case. Because no, you're like, you're seafood. You don't want it. It's just worth you having. So the, talk us through what's going on here. I'm opening the prunes. These are your classic supermarket prunes in syrup that you may see decanted at a mid-price hotel breakfast buffet. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I've seen. And the old folk are there like a shot. Why is that? Because they want to be regularity. Yeah. For some reason, as you age, you begin to dry up from the inside. Oh, goodness. What a nice story. I live there. No, why that is medically.

20:56If not Sun sweet slogan. It's like hydration for the bowels. Okay. Is that that slogan? I don't think so. It's a bit on the nose. It is, isn't it? And that's the last thing you want. Right. Hit the tension music there. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's. Cows. Cows music. Of course. It's very short. How is it short? Okay. It's what it goes in. It's what it goes in. So I'm giving Ellis four prunes. He's talking to you. All of them. And yeah, and a nice bit of jute. I think you could easily eat half this can without any. What is the jute? Just syrup. Oh, yeah. It's a quite extraordinarily high sugar content. Okay. So just bear that in mind folks. Whenever you're eating fruit, really. Absolutely. Raisins for empty. Raises. Very well aware. Nine percent sugar. I'm very well aware that people don't like the sound of chewing. So I'm going to, I'm going to pop in.

21:56Move the mic then off for my thoughts. Yeah. The tense music will help with this. And bear in mind there are pips inside. Oh, are there, right? What I like to do is to, like with an oyster, you sort of press it against the roof of your mouth, release the pip. That then comes out on the side plate like an olive. And then just let the flavor do its job. That could be one of the slogans. It's long, isn't it? It's very long. Just let the flavor do its job. Right. Yeah, yeah. I like that. Yeah. He has got a snazzy snappy way with words. Visually first impressions, they look a bit like soggy dates. Yeah. And that's the best reading of it. What are your thoughts? What are your expectations? I'm going to give him a sniff. OK. I can just smell the syrup. Yeah. So it smells. Oh, no, you can smell the prince. They smell slightly alcoholic. Yeah, they smell a bit like a sort of Halkalimeric and breakfast. Do you know what? I had a creatine-like canned drink the other day,

22:58like a soft drink from the fridge at my gym. It was so disgusting. It tasted like booze. Did it? It tasted like rough cider. Oh, no. So a grape flavor. Oh, OK. And I had to stop drinking it because I was like, you could market this as an like an alcohol-free rough cider. I drank coffee made to a 17th century recipe on a day out. And it was so disgusting that I lost my temper. Did you? Yeah. But it was marketed as that. Yeah, I went on a coffee tour. A coffee tour of London. And coffee, when it was originally brought over to London and England in the sort of 1600s, it was made with crushed egg shell and a mustard and a pepper. And it wasn't strained. It was utterly disgusting. So the person was showing us around all these old coffee shops and were an important place of historical interest. He'd made it to that recipe.

24:00I was like, yeah, it could be that bad. And is he at a bottle of water, which I needed, to take the taste away? And she took the cup off too slowly. And I just let it shut. Because it was like drinking vomit. What was he? OK, let's get into the prunes. Let's get into the tension. All right, here we go. It's in. I wait a minute, and it's in. I have a little chew. Don't forget about the pit. Oh, I don't know. What is he thinking? Oh, my God. OK. Come on. Come on. Come on. Where are you? Everyone likes prunes. Let's be having you. OK. People are going to go mad, Dave, because I'm still chewing. OK, well, you chew, and then we'll talk. I'm going my best. We'll chew, and then we will talk. I can have some prunes, Dave. Yeah. I'm not. The syrup makes it taste like an 80s pudding. Yes. OK. So like, peaches and condensed cream and the kind of stuff I used to eat when I was a little kid.

25:00John's gone in. John's gone in. I like dates. Yeah. In fact, I love dates. I love to take a date on a date. That's how much I love dates. Figs, I respect. A date. I think it'd be better without the syrup. Do you think? What? Yeah, I think the syrup make is quite an overpowering. Yeah. And I would like to taste a solo prune sort of old natural. Well, we can wash it off and give you another. Yeah. I also wasn't a huge fan of the texture, because it's just been the syrupy fight. Yeah. But delicious. Do you like that? Hey, just, I think my grandma, so I only had one grandparent alive when I was born. Yeah. And we used to go and visit her in Yorkshire. She must have had prunes in her house, because that taste, that smell of the syrup, I'm straight back to Bridlington. Really? Yeah.

26:01Another tagline. It was only really relevant to you. And let's say, is it in Bridlington? Yeah, but it's a very Bridlington flavor. I would imagine all hotels in Bridlington serve prunes in syrup. You could have it in a Bertie's Tea Room in Harrogate. Yes. They must be put prunes at Bertie's Tea Room in Harrogate. There's a couple actually. There's one in Harrogate and there's one in Leeds, I think. Can I have one more for you? Yes, you have one. Let's hit the Tedgishian music again. Why not? Let's give it all it's got at this stage. And it's in. And he's off. He's chewing. Oh, he spits the pit back out again. It's absolutely disgusting. I'm not loving it. He's not loving it. I think that's a conclusion. With a bit of quite sharp yoghurt, like natural yoghurt, a bit of granola. He's just going to finish eating John for the listener. Some ice cream, some squirty cream, with big waffle cones and chocolate sauce. He's done this before. And a big cake. Can you show us that? Yogurt would improve it. Yeah, I would improve it. You could have some with your yoghurt because you do have a yoghurt.

27:01I've got a yoghurt with me. Yeah. Thank you for the tissues because it's gone all over my crotch. We do like that. We do like that. I'm going to sit up a crotch which is going to look like a night marriage on public transport. Yeah. Luckily we're in dark trousers. Are you going to return to the prune scene at any time? Was that it for you? The problem is I'm so affectionate towards dates. They're like bad dates. Now I would say dates are like bad prunes, but that's why this show works. This is sparking debates yet again. Oh my god, get this on front row. Move over LBC. And whatever you do, text me from the toilet. That is the tagline. That is the tagline. Son of a... Son of a kiss prunes, text me from the toilet. And you've got just lots of shots of mates, what's happening each other? Yeah. Like those, actually they love prunes. Like that social media be real thing. Yeah. You can be real on the toilet. Yeah. You know what, that does bring the age down. It kind of hits the gen Z's text from the toilet. Yeah, because you know those like the mega hot sources that have got those sort of terrifying

28:06names and there's always a skull and crossbones on the label. Yeah. They could be like marketed a gen Z mega prune. Yeah. And the tagline is text me from the toilet. Yeah. Can you handle it? Chili prunes. Chili prunes. Can you handle it? Oh my god, chili prunes. Carolina Reaper prunes. Oh, wow, is it a grim Reaper prune? We could breed one Dave. We could cross them with scotch bonnets. Scotch bonnets. Yeah. I don't know why, but we could give it a go. We could sell them as merch. Now. Well, there we go. Ticked off, though. I mean, you've done it. You've done it. I've had a prune on that lifestyle that I've had experiences. I don't want things. I want experiences. The last thing you'd want is to be on your deathbed. Yeah. Thinking I've never had a prune. No. I want to have ticked it all off. I want to say, do you know what? You've done it all. I lived a bloody good life. Well, speaking of prunes on the radio insanely.

29:07It's now time for the feature that every other podcast wants. Where's our comery connection? That's what they're saying. Because it's about individuality. It's also about community. Regionality. It's about regionality. It's also about togetherness. Yeah, national identity. It's about Britain, but it's about a devolved Britain. But a Britain in which devolution allows Welsh people to travel beyond their borders, both physically and emotionally. Yeah. I mean, that's never been the point of devolution to trap people in the country. I think I could probably ref a PMQs. Well, this stuff about how much Andy Berner must be prepping. I just say stuff like that. Yeah. Also, I'm probably so confused. No, but also, as long as you say that bit. And the back bench is back you. Yeah. Yeah. That's the stuff that gets clipped up on social media. Do you know what? Do you know what I think would be great tactic for any leader day for any party?

30:08Yeah, in any country. In any galaxy. Yeah. So you know every leader starts by going, we need a new type of politics. Yeah. The old type of politics is broken. Failure. And then they just immediately slip back into the old type of politics. For too long, we've had an old kind of politics that doesn't reflect Britain's needs. There you go. Problem solving, not point scoring, etc. Yeah. Because like on the rest is politics. They all talk about how we need to completely re-imagine what our politics is. Yeah. And then they're discussing Andy Bernos' first PMQs and Roy is like, right, what's his attack line going to be? An Alistair is like, well, if he wants to get in on this, but she's going to attack. And you think hang on. Yeah. So anyway, imagine PMQs, the leader of the opposition stands up, gives you an absolute hammering. You come to the dispatch box and you're like, also, it's like that is it. If I tried to prune. No, you say, because I'm not about that type of politics. I want us to work together for a better Britain.

31:08She's got nothing or he has got nothing. It's a cross party prune politics. Well, cross party prune politics. You just go, I'd love to chat to you afterwards to see what we can agree on for a better Britain. But they get pulled in, they get pulled in. They're not actually going to enter into an argument with you about it. Yeah. Yeah, obviously social care affects us all, funds you prune. Yeah. It's actually from the toilet. Kill him with kindness. Yeah. Kimmy, I love you. And I love you, the ad Davey. Yeah. And I love you, the greens one. Yeah. And you know, there are others. There are those TBC, TBD to be discussed. Yeah. I love you all. Let's go have a big prune party on the toilet. Yeah. Anyway, yet another reason why I should be prime minister. I would love to see you do PMQs. I think I probably the best one there's ever been. I'd be like, okay, what should we do about it?

32:08Come on, we're all here. Ideas, you go. That's one of our brains storm me. Yeah. Good idea to expensive. Next. Yeah. Well, that's all the stuff. Maybe it can't be solved. Yeah. I want to refund. Just need to accept it. Yeah. I think we've got to begin a type of politics where we're not working to stay in power. We're working to serve the people. You weren't sure about that. You weren't sure about that one. I love it because it doesn't mean anything. And you can't, you can't be held to account for that. Of course not. If you're meaning, go to a poet. I'm a prime minister. I've got a job to do. Yeah. Sayonara. But that sounds more than I leave for a meeting. On a haali. But it sounds important and it sounds like you're doing stuff. If you want meaning, go to a poet. I'm a prime minister, actually. No, but that means you're saying I've got no meaning. I don't mean anything.

33:08You can't have a prime minister say that. No, but we don't want ideologs, Dave. We want people to get stuff done. Sayonara. And then he's like, why is it so important? Why do you keep saying sayonara? Yeah. The people of Britain don't want arguments. They want results. That's the business I'm in. See you later. Sayonara. Sayonara. Because we need to open up trade talks with Japanese. Sayonara. Sayonara would work. Yeah. Right. It's time for the Cumbria connection. It's another Cumbria connection. L.S.S. is tactics a sheer perfection. But his questions have one direction. Where did you go to school? Do you know Daffy Devons? No. Come on, mate. You must do. No, we've never met at all. It's time to turn our attention westwards towards the great nation of Wales.

34:10Michael Sheen is doing a lot of work for brand Wales at the moment. What's my seers? He's also sort of exposing how it's full of toxic waste, isn't he? He's doing a lot of stuff and presenting house of games. Lovely. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Which is mad when you think about it. It is a bit. It is a bit. But he's not the only actor trying his hardest to get Wales front and centre of the British psyche. Enter a Welsh hero, Ellis James. Enter the Cumbria connection. After a mammoth, 100th attempt at Cumbria connecting a couple of weeks ago, in which Ellis managed to connect with three Welsh callers in three minutes, his connection rate now stands at 49%. Wow. We've never been able to say that before. I listened to that moment on a balcony in Portugal. Exciting. And I punched the air. It was exciting. It was a big moment. We are literally within touching distance of the Magic 50. If Ellis gets a connection today, he'll be on 49.5%.

35:12Stakes couldn't be higher. Let's see how he gets on. We have a caller on the line. Caller, what's your name? Aled. Aled. Welcome. Ellis, you have 60 seconds to find a mutual connection with Aled. Your time starts now. It is cool. Two or five Cumbria answers in Pupry. Interesting. Well, if you went to university, where did you go? University, good morning. Oh, you didn't watch me do stand-up, did you? No. To Forest. Okay. Do you know Cumbria Nixon? No. Okay, that's fine. What do you do for a living? I'm a train driver. I used to be a police officer. Oh my god, there's a train driver. I meant... Used to be a police officer. Okay, train driver. We do live. Top of a green. Top of a green. Do you know my friend Chris Cochran? No.

36:12Okay, 35. Do you ever go to the Muni Art Centre in Ponte-Prieve? I have done, yeah. Have you ever been to Burns Film Club? Do you know Vern Griffiths? No. Okay, that's fine. Do you know my friend Prochanic Glein, who lives in Ponte-Prieve? No. Okay. Oh, 45 train driver. Do you know my friend Leighton, who works on the trains from Cmarvin? No. Marie Takaris, where was it school with? No, sorry. Okay. Who, which network do you work for? Transfer for Wales. Good network. Okay. Do you know anyone in their marketing, some sales department? Few emails like to bump up the chain.

37:13I'm a new toy. I mean, Izzy's currently doing a podcast for Great Western, but that's fine. That's a different rail network to yourself. Our Talbot Green is big, but I'm trying to think of my Ponte-Prieve connection. Are they written on your paper? No. Actually. Do you know of any connections, on it? Yeah, I do, actually. One that was brought up quite recently, Dylan Muhammad, Cmar. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I played season of football with Dylan about 10 years ago. Ah, because he's a little bit younger than you, though, I think, isn't he? Yeah, is that onto train? Yeah. Right, right on your bit of paper for the next time. Oh, right. But you never have. But I'm doing it now because people change. You see, you seem to have a slight blind spot in the, you think that people at different ages

38:15will never have met. Yeah, I've never met anyone who's younger than me, apart from my kids. I met you, well, actually. You've met me. Okay. Well, we've met. Yeah, I think there might be more from sort of like Wales away in the... You can't say. If you're from Pontipede, you can't have city fund. I am a car city fund, sorry. I was, because of Ponti, I was going to go down the Pontipede RFC route. But quite a lot. You don't know my friend Darrell Lee Worthy is the historian, do you? Because he's 40. I do. Who might you know from Wales away? Oh, can I be my friend? Sean Mills? Sean Mills? No, I need to see, I need to see a picture of him. Yeah, I'm sure you recognize him. He's there, pretty much everyone. There must be some kind of city funds. Part of city, Tony Rivers? Oh, yes, I know Tony. Yeah, yeah, he came to Pontipede. Yeah. Okay, because he's from Aberdea, though, isn't he?

39:16Yeah, Mugden Ashway. I don't know, I should have said sorry, but... Ah! Okay, all right then. This is, do you know what? You've hurt me. No! No! But it's not your fault, I've hurt myself. But now let's give you some stuff to work on to take away. He has. He has, yes, Tony's from International Aberdea, sorry, Tony. Quick question, have you ever tried a prune? Yes. Yeah, what did you think? Yeah, not bad. Yeah, pretty partial to a prune, no, it's okay. And where do you have the most frequently? Probably my mum and dad, so to say. Yeah. Prunes have a generational image crisis. Yes. Which John is trying to solve. Yeah. I think there'll be lots of Cardiff funds that we've probably... I've crossed paths with that you know I would imagine. Do you know my friend Hanson Dantite, who runs a marketing company? No, I don't. Actually, I've really mentioned a couple of times about it. Oh, God just looking, man. But, you know what, Aled, nice to meet you. And we got there in the end.

40:17And it was not your fault. It was my fault. Yeah. So there's zero blame at your door, Aled. I appreciate that. Thanks, Al. Cheers. Thank you, Aled. So, I think that might take Elis down to circa 48.5. That's fine though. He's still... Well, no, because we're going to be back down to 46 now. You've got to take this opportunity to get to 50%. Because when that happens, I'm going to buy you 1,000 prunes. Okay, folks, we're going to recover from that and take a short break. And then we are going to play a made-up game. And I need to wash my hands. This ad is sponsored by ZockDoc. Hi. It's Danny Pellegrino from Everything Iconic. Have you been putting off that annual doctor's appointment because you don't want to make the call? Or maybe you've been meaning to find a new dentist, but you have no idea where to start? I find that's especially true when you move. It's hard to find your people.

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43:20Noom. Lose for keeps. Get started at noom.com. Not all customers will clinically qualify for medications. Individual results may vary. Right folks, before a made up game, huge developments in this fast moving situation on Ellison John. Because when you push the boundaries, that means you're a lot more space to inhabit. It's like when Trump introduced all the tariffs. It's just moving all the time. Yeah, things are changing. It's the conversation that's on everyone's lips. Dave, check how polymarket is reacting to the news that Ellison tried to prune. I wonder how cryptos reacting. Yeah. Is the NASDAQ falling or have the hedge funds backed us? Because first news is that our team is getting a little bit bigger today in a way. No. Well, it is. No. Because Michael's got engaged and that means that his fiance works for us.

44:21Where is she, Michael? She's sacked. We're not turning up. So congratulations to Michael and they're. What a look. Congratulations to Michael and they've got engaged. What an awful way of raising it. You've sacked it before you could gradually. Wait till I tell him statistics about divorce. Yeah, we're all aware. You did all the work that we like to give to girls. Michael, speaking of someone who was engaged once, it might work. But to celebrate the good times and the increase in joy and love, we've got you a little something. He got like a. Which you may have seen because we all signed it on camera that was being displayed behind you on a big screen. Yeah, the surprise was spoiled. It was, but Michael and they've are a lovely couple so we're over the moon. Over the blooming moon. Yes. Congrats. Congrats. Michael and Liv as well. It sounds good. Yeah, it sounds good. Those two Michael and Liv. That sounds nice. Oh, yeah. They Michael and Liv together.

45:21That's true. Do you ever say that Michael? No. Okay. And they've got a lovely dog as well. Yeah. A lovely kitchen. And a lovely kitchen. Second bit of groundbreaking use is off. Has given us two Polish plums. Who saw this come in? This is you. Well, it's a drive plug. So it's ruins. Yeah, they're chocolate covered prunes. Is it milk or dark chocolate? It's like dark. Dark and sweet. I'm going to hold the Michael weeks and I'll be waiting. Okay, we're eating. I was going to tease this. I'm allowed to try this. I was going to say you could eat at the end. Cold. Sluka. Sluka. Sluka. Plum in chocolate. Oh, yeah. I cannot wait for this. Are you doing it now? I thought we were teasing this to the end. Plum in egg. No one listens to me. I'm going to wash my hands again. Play the tension drones off. Here we go. Wait a minute. We're doing it for that day. Right.

46:21We're doing it. So your attention required. And that was fantastic. Really? Hmm. Okay. Okay, we're going to have a lot of prunes for the first 40 minutes. I can't have lost both my presenters. This is what I wanted to do. That was fantastic. I love. Zoff. Talk to me. Where are they from? Poland. Like a specific village. Yeah. My most testers. Is that what they make Adrian Charles's dream? What do you call it? Alcohol from. Plum plum alcohol. I think it's called Schlufker. Is it? Yeah, because when he was on the moon under water, it was his wild card. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, that now. That was super. That is dangerous because you could eat a hundred of those and then be in real trouble. And then you're texting from the toilet. Then you're texting from the toilet. This is maybe how we get prunes to change their image to Gen Z.

47:22Yeah. Taylor Swift could do a collaboration with Schlufker. Yeah. Get a levier of Jigotorite. It's talking about prunes. It's all up to it. It's all to play for. They could give them away at Reading and Leeds. I don't think that's going to help the situation there at all. They'll just get pelleted at different tents and stuff. It's the last thing the prunes need. Tristan Stasis could hand them out. What does that even mean? It's just a good Reading Act. It's good. It's a good. It's a good saying. But when they could have done that, they could have just chucked lots of prunes out to the crowd. I feel like the portaloo's are under enough pressure as it is. That's true. I feel like Jason Stasis played Reading every year these days. Yeah, well, this is the thing that's going to, I mean, they're already top of the bill. But I mean, this is the thing that's going to headline Reading. Oh, Jason Stasis. It's the NS huge. Yeah. I have never heard of them. You will have heard of Pringles. I'm going to bring back monoculture. No.

48:22Bring back monoculture. I am sick of this. I need to know who everyone is. No, you don't. That's the thing. It's like I'm falling. It's fine. It's not fine to not know who's headlighting. It's all right. It's like you fell asleep 20 years ago and now you've broken up. Yes. That's what it's like. Jo Fontaine's DCR. I've heard the name. Oh, my. So that's fine. I've heard the name. You've heard the name. Jamie T. I've heard of Jamie T. He's played Reading Leads this year. I saw Geese two, three days ago. Yeah. Fontaine's the lead singer. War a cum-brand Celtic top on stage. Yeah. But it's not enough. They're not even the biggest club in cum-brand. But I used to know every band. Yeah. And I think I could safely say that in the 80s my mum had heard of every band because we lived in a monoculture where things made sense. I didn't feel like I was falling. You don't want to fall into that category of sounding older than you are by saying. I don't recognize any of these. The quality of Reading's gone down. I'm not saying anything about the quality.

49:22Yeah. I'm just saying I should have heard of the headliner of Reading. But I think that's your fault. No. But no, the people at Reading had heard of them. What was the name of the song that beat the record to the longest number one in the UK history? Rain me in. I'm asking Ellison. And you've spoiled it. It's a new story. Yeah. Because he doesn't know. No, it's a, it's a, it's a duet with some fender and another person. Go on. I can't believe I listened to it. Once it brought the record, I listened to it and then I immediately forgot it. I listened to it again. And then obviously, Ellison, Ellison, Ellison. That's it. It was obviously connected with She's on the Frank Skinner podcast. It's a melody. You complete beast. I knew he was doing it. He's smart. And he's very funny. He's funny. He's just old. He's just elderly. He's a funny elderly. He's a funny old man. He's a funny old man. Can I wash my hands? Because now I've got chocolate. Oh, you've got it done. It's just liquor. No. Why put them on your cagull? It's already filthy. No, I... Right. Let's play a made up game with dirty hands. OK. We have a new jingle from Dan. Someone got a wipe.

50:22Yeah, there's loads of wipes around the corner. Michael's gone to get you a wipe. I play the shoes with them. Did you? I do. Well, well, well, well, well. If it isn't my favourite little scampson Dave, I write to you as a retro owner and significant Robbins and James Apologist, confirming firstly that, yes, I am on email. I hereby presently present you with a present. Yes, that's right. I'm on the made up games jingle. It's not really in the style of other than having the general vibe. My Alice isn't happy with this. This is a screen wipe. Yes, the best anti-sub. Get on the laptop. Oh, my laptop. I thought there was going to be a nice soft baby wipe. Oh, you got it. Oh, it's a nice change. It's been light soon. It's a wittered anti-bacterial wipe. You need the liquids to get the syrup off. There's liquid on white wipes, Dave. We ain't got no... Yes, that's what that is essentially. Right. It's not really in the style of other than having a general vibe of 90s teen show or an unusually rock and roll daytime game show. Great. I'm all in for this. Like a Cloris Surtle.

51:22What was the one with the last? Sisticist. Yes, it's a sister. That's what I think. I hope the lyrics are taken in the spirit with which they are intended. That's always a worry, isn't it? They say that. I'm mocking Jess, but I'm a great admirer of your humor. It's not a wittered threat. The musical is it. You should do that, I suppose. Okay, he doesn't respect us. That's fine. Ready to thread the musical is very... I don't think anyone's could take that. No. All right, it's going to be a song of low blows. All right, then. Dan, take it away. Don't you know it's time to play a made out game? With our two hopes yet another same. Although they're two white men in the 40s. They might sound it, but they're not that boring.

52:23One of them is filming, I'm dying. Yeah. Because the saddest wall we're peeing in the east. I said, wow, wow, wow. It's time to play a made out game. Made out game. It's a common now it's time. Made out sky a fake, hard and stiff decline. Made out game. It was a song here and that's fine. It's fine, fine, fine, fine. Made out games. That's super. That's really funny. That is sort of weekday in the summer holidays on Channel 4. It's going for gold. Yeah. You know, it's a little bit darrel-john. Yeah, yeah. It's a bit, I mean, to go to another very talented listener. It's a bit Matt Black, who does a lot of our, who's done the album of made up games, Jingles For Us. Mb games. Mb games. That's what it should be called. Matt Black also. So parts of our latest release in the cinematic universe

53:24because he penned the music for the atmosphere. Did he? Yo, that's very good. I love that. That was really good. And even though there were a couple of digs, I took them in the spirit world, which they were intense. They were intense? They were facts, yeah. Right, Dave. What are we doing? Scores on the doors. John's, crushing victory in Alpha Skran. A few weeks ago, it took the scores to two games to one. One of the funniest things I have ever heard. Yeah. Alice listing Ohm's Kirk. Just under his breath. You can just make it out. Ohm's Kirk for the O of tomato. Yeah. And then bips for beat. And I did see a white light. Yeah, but it was like a celestial nervous breakdown. It was horrible. And I did it on the train on the way back relatively easily. It's comfortably. I worked out what it is. It's not the time pressure or the drone music, although that doesn't help. It's John's smirk. But I was listening to Robin Hitchcock.

54:24Yeah, but you know you're going to win. So you've got a smirk. And it just destroys me. Well, maybe you have a chance today. If it's another one of those alphabet games, Steve, I'll just walk out. It's vibe city today, which might just help you out. A few words go to the score. So the scores are two games to one to John in the third set. He's leading two sets to love. And only four games away, Blumynac, from clinching the first set. The first set. The first match, sorry. Oh, wow. Yeah. Championship point. That's huge. Is it championship point? In four games, it could be championship point. 50 dues. Got a get 1000 celebrities to congratulate me. They should do. Matt LeBlanc first. Yeah, no, no, no, no. The Edinburgh tattoo. Yes. They should get a thousand pipe bursts. And then you all have to get tattoos. Yeah. If you're afraid of me in my score. Say, John is the winner. Wow, this is huge.

55:26Michael, we need to have a meeting quite quickly off the back of this. John has now eight, now won eight out of the last nine made up games. This week's game. This feature. And it feels, I feel like a sort of an insect from the Jurassic age that's just been trapped in resin. No, that's recency bias, I think, because you had a nightmare two weeks ago. You think you made it, but you'll love it if you enter. I'm trapped in resin. We could drill into that insect, extract its DNA, and create modern day podcasters who are really sick. You're not Alice. You're not. I've started doing the Guardian Quick Crosshood and my phone to prove to myself that I'm not dim. That's good. That'll help. You're the smartest people I know. I did struggle with axolotl. You're very well read. Oh, my kids love axolotls. Do they? Yeah.

56:26They don't need to hear that. A Mexican salamander. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This week's game comes in from Alex. I have an idea for a made up game that came to me whilst making a pie. I'm also the guy that asked the desert island crisps question back in the isolation tape days. And fondly remember, the berating Alice got for picking Reddy Salted. Would you just, would you still pick Reddy Salted? I'd like Reddy Salted crisps and I'd like the amount of choice. The ones I like the most are the ones I cut them in the brand with is lords of black pepper on them because I love black pepper. Yeah, I hate my favourite. Yes, it's fun. The game gives everyone's favourite on-epity so his own fully deserved formats. And it's called Desert Island Dave. Here's the scenario. Ellison John have both been stranded on their own desert island. Dave will give them a category. Ellison John, then I have 30 seconds to argue this superior thing to be stranded with. Now to cast an adult aside, we're not talking about your favourite things to be stranded with. All other classic Desert Island based radio show. We're talking actual items to be stranded with on a desert island

57:29that will survive the heat, the humidity, the landscapes. You've got to think about where you are and what you're doing and why these items would be beneficial. OK, so it's a vibe based game and Dave's word is final. Enjoy an apology springy arguments the game may cause. What's on the desert island? Well, there's round one. Oh, desert desert desert. Oh, it's a classic Desert Island. And I think this is the point here. You can argue why these things would be beneficial from what you could have on a desert island. All right. But think about it. It's your 442 of Desert Islands. OK. OK, so round one. And each one has been given a clever pattern as well, which is lovely stuff from Alex. Round one is Desert Pylon. Which one pie is the best to have on a desert island and why? So think about your surroundings. Think about why you think a certain... It's got to be a pie that exists.

58:31What do you mean? It's going to be a boat pie. LAUGHTER My machine gun pie. Why would you want a machine gun? I'd kill myself. LAUGHTER I'd... If it's anything, I'd go boat before so... Yeah, get off the earth. No, I've had it. My head's gone. LAUGHTER No, it can't. No, it's... It's going to be... What a shoot, you know, local randomness. Yeah, machine gun. LAUGHTER Poacher's choice. A big game. Yeah, yeah. Desert Pylon. What pie are you eating on a desert island to help you survive? Mmm. OK. Are we thinking they're making the pie on the island? As are they having to use their surroundings to make the pie? Obviously not. Do you mean... What's there's an oven on the island, is there? No, but I'm thinking like... If that's the case, you would go down the route of ingredients you could find on the island. So sand pie. Well, you know, a coconut pie.

59:33LAUGHTER A fish pie. Go, be spearing in the sea to grab some fish. Obviously you don't have to make the pie. It's like the people on desert are distant and you have to write the songs. LAUGHTER Or write Shakespeare. From the Bible. Good. You're all in the same page. That's what I thought as well. Yeah, I'm ready. Great. So you're going to have 30 seconds each to argue your case. We've got a timer. Fantastic. OK, John, we'll come to you first. In Desert Pylon, round one. Go. I'm having one of those massive gala pies from Tesco, but not ones you buy in the aisle, from the actual deli counter, because they're vacuum packed. You know, the long sort of oblong ones. Yeah. It's packed meat. It's gelatin to protect. And there's eggs running throughout hard boiled. So it's a protein mega feast. The vacuum pack stops the flies and the little creatures getting to it. Because I will tie the end up with a twist I have made from bamboo.

1:00:35There you go. Oh, good. It needs good back timing. Getting back on commercial radio. Ellis, go. Consider the mince pie so it could be Christmas every day. But actually, no, I don't want a mince pie. I want a chicken bultipy like you get at football grounds, because it reminds me of football and B. It's two kinds of food styles in one food stuff. Because it's pie, chicken, and it's a curry all in one. It's the genius of a chicken bultipy. So I'd have that because it's got load of protein. And it comes in those vacuum packed plastic things. So we'll also try that in a little bit. A little stuff if you're being eaten by flies and wildebeest. Good. Good. I'm not in short an entire show. There's enough variation in pies for it to be our topic of much debate. Yeah, but the pun worked. It's close. It's close. Well, interestingly, I think, you know, John, what you went down the logical route, and Ellis almost went down the emotional routes of pies.

1:01:35I am emotional. You are emotional. You're very in touch with your emotions and you know, it's think of your. You wanted to think about football. Yeah. And pies. The genius that chicken bultipy is you have in a curry and a pie at the same time. Yeah, I got that. Yeah. Well, acknowledge it. Oh, yeah. And it's the genius of this chicken bologna island. How? Well, because you've only got one food. So you want two different experiences. Well, you only got one pie who knows what other foods we might have to come up with. Oh, yeah. Otherwise, the other ways your palate is going to become very bored. Yeah. Okay, John gets the point purely because also you just threw in at the end the same thing that John said about this pie. But I thought that. Did you write down this for a look? Have you got that? I've got to rinse. I'm trying chicken bultipy and I'm today. Oh, my God. Right. Okay. Right.

1:02:36Routes. Routes. Okay, this is a good one. It's one of those to John. Right, routes. Oh, little thing. Desert island denim. Are you mad? She's just doing it. She's doing it. She's doing it. She's doing it. All right. Okay. So, what's the origin of this pie? The one that you've got? I'm going to have this one. I'm going to have this one. Okay. I'm going to have this one. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm going to have this one. All right. He can have jeans. I love a denim jacket. Yeah. That's a bad one. One denims is a good one. I liked this one. One denims item. Sorry, one for the rest of your time on the island. Which is best and why? Out of jeans or denim jacket? What do you get? Weasel. A denim waistcoat. I'm just imagine being rescued of Baros Deudbury. How long did you think about this game for? for. I just thought my game. Alex's game is me. I thought I worked for the Navy and I thought we should rescue that guy and he was wearing a denim waistcoat. I just tell the ship to

1:03:37carry on. Okay. So you can see just quote. He's Cliff Thorburn. But think about the practicality. You think about the design? Think about the choice, Dave. Okay. Okay. Thank you for the game Alex. We are enjoying it though. Okay. Is it my turn? I've got my eye. Oh, he's thrown down his pen. Ellis is now going to be flipping. He's going to be flipping. It's hard to be serious. Okay. All right. Well, there we go. Your time starts now. Go. I'm denim condom, Dave. I don't want to have any more kids. I'm I don't know if I'm alone or not, but you know, I might want to get off with someone. Feeling that denim shorts, because denim shorts are great. They're very versatile. You don't look like a bad uncle when you wear them. So denim shorts over jeans, because it might be quite hot in a desert island. Same goes for denim jacket. They go denim shorts or a denim condom, please. And over denim jeans as well. Did you say over denim jeans? Also, yeah. Yeah. It's a pull. So you want denim condom because you don't want to have kids.

1:04:39Yeah. On the desert island where I can only feed them chicken, bultie pies. Yeah, a denim is quite porous. It's a nice. It's a nightmare fabric to have on a desert island. Yeah. It's the last fabric you would want. It is the last fabric you want. Okay, so denim Johnny's over there for Ellis or shorts or any got a pick. All right, shorts. No, go for the right. Johnny's Dave. Johnny time starts now. A denim hammock. Here he is. Made out of an enormous pair of denim jeans extra extra extra extra extra extra large. Yeah, he's thinking outside the box. They got pockets underneath. Why denim? Johnny's isn't to keep things off the ground so that ants don't get them. So you could keep little bits of pie in the pockets. Also, there's a fly in them. So you can do a wee while you're lying down. Nice. Like you're having a massage like the whole for your face. The little hole for your face. But for your bits. Yeah. And or and it would work for a lady with a bit of forethought. He was a leaf somehow. Yeah. I'm lying. A good answer. A mad but good answer.

1:05:44Yeah, you mock at the beginning and you have a little thing. Can then all of a sudden genius. He's got himself a denim hammock. How could he turn denim on a desert island into a practical solution? Okay, it's too known to John and my friend Ellis as much as you. Yeah, I think so. You might quite might put in a denim Johnny at you while it was. It's quite a fun idea though. I've leverized. Got into the fun and dangerous idea that will result in a lot of unplanned pregnancy and be painful. Yeah, be painful. But I wonder whether you could almost design a condom that is just made out of usual condom material but looks like a denim white. Don't know. Let's go put a pocket on the back. It would look quite cool. What do you think? Cool. I can't believe you've got a Wrangler condom. Boocke condom. Anyway, round three. We're at desert island digs. Here we go. It gets a bit more

1:06:54a bit more logical at this stage. One structure to live in. Anything from it. I'm not going to give you ideas. Actually, one structure to live in, which is the best and why. You stranded on desert island. Have a little think. You need this one to get back into the game. Just a good scene. John's in. How you doing Ellis? Oh, yeah. I've got one. Yeah. Okay. John, take it away. Air conditioned pub with fold out caravan style bed benches. Say the little booths that you have. You fold them out. You take away the table. You've got yourself a double bed. The snacks, eG pork, scratching, peanuts would help replace salts, lost to sweat. And there's both alcoholic and non-acolic options. Crucially, it's air conditioned. And the landlord is a lady who likes denim. Good. Lovely stuff. He's gone for an air conditioned pub. He's got drinking problem.

1:07:57Yeah, it's, is it, is it, is that wise for you, John? Does it matter? Does it matter? Does it matter? It's a fantasy. I visited many times. Yeah, fine. And that was my luxury for if I ever went on desert island discs in air conditioned pub. Was it? Yeah. Got it. Okay. And you could, you could, you could store your pies in there as well. It's a big time. Yeah. Ellis desert island digs. Hit me. You know those houses you see on Stilts in America, one of those because I'll never forget Mark Watson, not elevating his bed when he was on that Liberty Island program and he got bitten and he was itching and it drove him insane. So you want to be off the roof where you're sleeping and we want to be off the ground rather you want to be elevated because otherwise you get bitten and scratch and all that kind of stuff. So I'll be doing that, but they'd be Wi-Fi. And what you accessing your Wi-Fi on your bulti pie. He's turning condom. I'm turning, I'm turning Wi-Fi labeled condom. Imagine knowing

1:08:58this Wi-Fi on the island but you've got no way of using it. That would be hell. Yeah. Well, what, so where's the Wi-Fi coming from? It's just coming from a Wi-Fi router. Oh, right because you've got nothing to access it with. Imagine knowing all I need is like two minutes with the phone and I can get off the island. That'd be awful. Goodness me. Goodness me. Well, Ellis has asked for what he's got Wi-Fi and is still in house. Yeah, but he hasn't got anything to use it. There's a laptop. Oh, a toilet. And every time I flush a Google search. I'm going to give it to Ellis. That's interesting. That's the mobile, the house on still. Yeah, you need to be like an America. I saw one in France last week. I was on stills. Yeah, for the high, for the high wind island. Yeah, for all the nuts and books and stuff. Yeah, I'm the Mac. Walking up and down the beach when he'd been bitten by you. Yeah, it was a complete dereliction of the production company's mental health policy. It was awful. And I think about

1:10:01it all the time. I never saw that. But I don't think you could also avoid being bitten by being in an air conditioned pub. You just need to be in a room with doors and windows. Yes, you didn't stipulate that. Yeah, we just thought you had no floor. You got to mention the floor. It's rubbish club without a floor. Or a roof. You even mentioned the roof. I hate that when you go to one of those pubs that doesn't have a floor. And it doesn't say on the Google listing. It's just a big hole. Round four, desert island drills. One form of exercise to keep you fit for the rest of your time on the island, which is best and why. So what are you going to do? What are you going to use on the island? Of course, you can, you know, there are things there. There are things you can be, you know, facilitating, helping facilitate your exercise in the most creative way possible. How you keep in that core core strength. Tip top. John first. And we go. And adjustable dumbbell set. I don't need

1:11:02anything to do with cardio because I can run around the desert island or I could do shut runs or sprints on the beach. So cardio is catered for. No, you're only allowed one drill. Yeah, oh, okay. Well, dumbbells are really hensh so I get to use my denim condom as a plan. So which drill are you going to do? Well, um, you know, the dumbbells are there. Yeah. All right. Bicep curls. Bicep curls. We've got it. So you're going to have the most absurdly developed biceps as your body withers away. Yeah, quite my. Good. So bicep curls because it is a drill. Okay. I thought you meant piece of exercise equipment. Yeah. But I, I, I'm misunderstood. Yeah. I'm misunderstood. And I am big in the adjustable dumbbell scene of the minios. Come to me if you do want to advise on that. John does island drills. How you keeping fit? Let's go. What is a desert island? If not a high rocks arena Dave? We begin with 500 meter run around the island.

1:12:04Yeah. Then we, we've a bag of coconuts to use for the weighted lunges and the beach thing. That's it. Then we're dragging them Dave. It's the sled pull. The sand is going to cause resistance to the coconut bag going across. Then the row we attach leaves to the end of sticks which is also brushing away ants from under our house on still. Finally, the ski irg is pulling on vines. Well, that's, that does feel like many drills. That's what is a drill. I don't know now. Well, exactly. I don't know anymore because I had an adjustable dumbbell. So I could have done everything with that. But I could have talked about that drill is. Yeah, he could have done it. He could have done all some like do more. Yeah, he did it. He did it. He did it. He did not want to drill man. Because we'll neither do you. Yeah, I did. I'm just. All right. The buggerian spit squats. The shoulders press. Here we go. We'll give you this. We'll give you this. Thank you. Well, you're giving him that stuff. He just said that. Yeah. A just full dumbbells. Because he wanted to be too too. No, I don't actually because you will win this round. But thank you. But the point is we did. I was kind of thinking the dumbbells couldn't be

1:13:10a range of dumbbell exercises because that's not one drill. But then you just offered up. I'm back in your period. I'm on your side. But then John, you offered up a load of different things there that you're considering to be one drill. So I think we do have to consider from out there is the fact that your shoulders and your back. No, because he didn't say that. Because you looked at me in a way that implied I couldn't. That's what I meant. That's why I said it in the first place. But what I spoke with your eyes. What they told a horrible story. So I think we did. We kind of encouraged him. I did say you couldn't have cardio because it's one drill. Yeah, exactly. So I think we sent him down and he's yeah. Yeah. Good. He's very impressionable is our at this. Yeah. And we convinced him not to go down the drill roots. I'm not impressionable. I'm honest. You're honest, of course. I didn't feel like I was in the spirit of the game. However, in the spirit of the game, the answer there that was more creative using your environment and using what the desert and had to offer rather than just getting in a load of adjustable

1:14:13dumbbells. There are some great brand on the market. But it's I had been told I could use multiple specific brands. Yeah, I like to talk about it. If I'd been told I could use multiple things, I would have been creative as well. But I thought, all right, I'll choose dumbbells. That's the one that makes the more sense. He's inventing exercises with vines. That's all right. I'm coconut and all sorts. Yeah. Multi drill. It's a drill. Multi, isn't it? Yeah, it's what is it? I suppose the drill is the one the one circuits of the stuff you would do in. Well, do you know what? Let's all learn something. Yeah, let's let's define a drill. Let's look up drill in chambers. What is an exercise drill? Hang on, hang on, hang on. To exercise by repeated practice. That's all it is. An exercise drill is focused repetitive practice of a specific movement or task designed to build muscle memory improved technique or master a single sub skill rather than

1:15:13provide a general workout. A training exercise or a session of it. No, bugger. It's got lots of meanings. You're on different dictionaries clearly. What dictionary you use using to Google? Google and John's gone for chain business. But it's both. It's a specific exercise by repeated practice and it's also a training exercise or session of it. Fine, I'm going to give you both a point. It's a draw that one. Yeah, a fair draw. Final round. Desert Island die. The best Welsh person to be stranded with for eternity. Who is it and why? Let's take it to a draw and this should be Ellis's round in theory but maybe not. What do you mean? Not even a Welsh, so. Yeah, he's connected. Ellis has got too much choice. Yeah, he's going through every Welsh person ever. He's thinking about handsome Dan tight. Yeah. Yeah. He's thinking about eggs or cheesy or whopper or whatever his name is. That's three different people. Burger? Yeah, that's another person.

1:16:17You ready? Yeah. Okay, who do we go to first? John. Desert Island die. Go. The hardest thing about picking one person, Dave, is they've got to be all things to all people. So I have gone for Rob Briden because he is a hundred guests. Monday, Michael Cain, Tuesday, Ronnie Corbyn, Wednesday, Al Pacino, Thursday, Man in a Box, the list goes on. I forgot Friday. And all of the other impressions he does. He does do lots of good. Michael Cain. Michael, I've said my. Oh, do you say so? He does a very good Elvis. Friday is Elvis day. Great Saturday. Just Rob. Oh, good. Yeah, you want a bit of Rob. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, great answer. Um, Ellis. Anytime starts now. Nightburven invented the NHS once. You can do it again on a desert island, which means if I fall off a tree, I've got all of the healthcare I need also as a cabinet minister. What was he famous for? He's famous for getting things done. So once he's punched me up on my legs being put in a cast,

1:17:20I say, no, actually, can you get me off the desert? And he'd go, yeah, sure. And then he would just do it somehow because that's the kind of minister he was. And then what can he say, Bob's your uncle? I've been rescued. Also, great or a tree from bored. Just listen to him speak. Jenny, one question. What's your laugh? I, um, he could be quite a surbic. So as long as he wasn't being a surbic about me, uh, it would be all right. I mean, I'm sure it would be very a surbic of the situation. But if he's a surbic about me, I think it'd be quite upsetting because that's just me and him. So a couple of things, paper over there, how would he get you off? You said he'd just get you off the desert. They said that the NHS was impossible. Yeah, it would be on the desert island. Yeah, they said it was impossible in Britain in 1945 and it got it done by 1948. Yeah, with it on, yeah, with stuff. They're mouths with silver. Yeah. That's what he said about the British Medical Association who didn't want it to happen. How's that helping you on the desert island? Stask him. Okay.

1:18:22And Rob, why Rob just because entertaining varied? Well, because he's got so many different characters that I can have variation on the island. Yeah, he can improvise within those characters. He's a very good improviser. Um, uh, but also he's a good company. I get Rob, you know, I get it's, it's the multi pack. Yeah. And he could tell you. It's the variety pack. He's Coco Pops and Shreddies. Yeah, they're not in the same multi pack. Exactly, because he's both multi perks Nestle and Kellogg's. Wow, okay. Yeah. Good answer to you again. Uh, John, who's there? John, who's the game? I could draw Brad and beat Nightbird. Cause Nightbird them can't in he didn't single handedly invent the NHS. He got other people to do it for him. Yes, but he got it done. He, at any way he could do on your island, is argue the toss with you to pass legislation for an NHS that never gets built. And that would pass the time. Yeah, yeah, you'd have great fun at the dispatch boxes. Yeah. John wins. He's only now three games away from the championship. Huge. And then do we retire the feature? We can't retire made up games.

1:19:27I hold on, sorry. Not three points away. Three games away. Yes, he's ages away. Sorry, I misunderstood earlier. We don't need a meeting after his Michael. We've got plenty of time. Um, still you're on on the way to victory. Uh, what's the scoring mechanism of the next series of cricket? Yes, it should be cricket. Cricket. How many runs can you crew? Massive innings. Catching session. But that's limitless, isn't it? Cricket. Well, no, cause Ellis gets you out. When Ellis wins, I'm out. Yeah, Ellis gets the run. We'll work it out. First to 100 over a five day test. It's a three test series, Dave, four one day international's and a T20. Yeah. And then the 100. And that qualifies us for the championship. And then we move to county cricket, which is very controversial. Yeah. Okay, well, I think the ICC test championship. Oh my god. Also, we could do it. We could do

1:20:27the IPL and it'll be paid a billion pounds. Oh, I'd love to do the IPL and be paid a billion pounds. Okay, Michael, we'll put that meeting back in. Good fun game. Bit of fun. Bit of fun after some more kind of statistical ones. What a strange episode. Oh, it isn't it? Very queer. A strange episode. Yeah, a strange episode. Just put that in me. I mean, I'm still looking at prune. That's the episode title. A strange episode full stop. Denim condoms prunes a strange colon, a strange episode. Okay. It's not there is not the usual rule of three, but maybe we break the rule of three today. It feels like that kind of app. It's kind of thing you do in a strange episode. Yeah. Anyway, thank you very much, Disney. We'll be back with you next week. Goodbye. Do you want to give the address out, Dave, for the bureau? Yes. Good idea. And it's like crisps and chocolate. Now we're widening it out a bit. Like you lose. Are you losing your suite, too, John? You saw I ate the world's biggest bar of cabbri's marvellous creations. It's possible to buy in a big

1:21:30Tesco. When was that over the course of two nights this week? Okay, it's just this morning, or this afternoon, we did trigger a bit of a low. As you can see, when we had our little break, yeah, for the first time in 18 months, you didn't ask for chocolate or cake or bread. I'd already had a rice crispy cake made from melted Mars bars. Oh, John. It was absolutely delicious. He needs the machine gun and the desert island. I am back at CrossFit. Are you? No, I'm doing great. Good stuff. Weak as hell. That's all right. Oh, man, I am. I'm nine, half-scaling. What does that mean? When you reduce either the weight or the reps in a workout, so that enables you to complete it, which is a great thing about CrossFit, is anyone can do it, whether you're 80 or eight, they do do a good 100 or 800. Unfortunately, I'm scaling it to the point that it's no longer covered by the scaling options. So I haven't just sorted the there.

1:22:30How did you scale the workout today, John? I was there. You let the CrossFit, like a CrossFit Ghost. Yeah. I was there at the same time as everyone else. I started at the same time as everyone else and finished, and I was there. John, this is the local CrossFit Ghost. I'm the look. How many burpees are you doing? I'm not doing burpees because of my arthritic toe. What are you doing instead? I'm just getting on the floor and getting back up again. First, what I did in the workout, the rattle of chains. What you doing? You just got on the floor. Trying to see my burpee. Yeah, you got it. No, you can do it. I'll do a showers and do do be filmed. This is what they ended up doing. John takes the floor. I know I burpees. I do my Joe Wix is John. That's all right. Yeah. You look like you're getting it from a fall. It's almost a plant.

1:23:36In a sense, a burpee is practiced for getting up from a fall. Yeah. But I'm now just practicing getting up from a fall. Are you still moving, mate? As Joe Wix says, he's got a move in. Yes, he's still moving. Yes, still moving. Good. I'm proud of you. Welcome for Game Back to Rotten. The address is Ellis James and John Robbins, the record hall, 16 to 16, a Baldwin's Gardens, London EC1, 7 RJ. Lovely stuff. Yes, it's off. Unit 204. Unit 204. Somewhere to all the top of the address. Good stuff. Ellis is on his phone. John's staring into his face. Someone should just wrap, I think. Yeah, thank you for the time being back next week. Goodbye. Hi, it's Brook to Vard host of Naked Beauty and I want to talk about how I upgrade my hosting experience.

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1:25:42Guessing is for game shows, not your business. Workday is the enterprise AI platform for HR, finance and IT. With AI grounded in your context to get work done and done right. It's a new work day. Thanks for listening to the show. And if you enjoyed your listening experience, did you know that you can now watch highlights of every episode over on our YouTube page at Ellison John? And you can find all things EJJ are, including links to our Patreon, our social accounts are merch and much more by heading to EllisonJohn.com. We'll see you next time.