#482 If You're Stuck - Lets Move On - Here's How

If You're Stuck - Lets Move On - Here's How

Episode Overview

Ever had that quiet thought…

"I've lost my way…"

Not shouted out loud.
Not dramatic.
Just a whisper somewhere in the background.

In this episode, I share something personal — a moment where I genuinely felt that. Like the direction had gone. Like something inside me had faded.

But here's what I discovered…

You're not lost.
You haven't lost your way.
You've simply lost connection with the part of you that already knows.

And when life changes — when you let go of old habits, old roles, even old identities — there's a gap.

A space.

A kind of emotional "void."

And if you don't understand it… it can feel like grief.

In this deeper dive, we explore that space — and more importantly, how to reconnect with your inner direction using a simple but powerful process.

What You'll Discover

This episode gently but powerfully shifts how you think about feeling lost:

Why "feeling lost" is actually a sign of growth, not failure
How identity is often tied to what you do — and what happens when that changes
The hidden mistake: looking outside for direction instead of inside
Why your future self already knows the way
The key insight:

Your path isn't something you find… it's something you feel

And most importantly…

How to reconnect to that feeling and take your next step with clarity

The Big Insight

Most people think:

"I need a plan."
"I need to figure it out."
"I need the answer."

But what if that's the problem?

Because…

You don't find your path by thinking — you find it by feeling.

Your unconscious mind doesn't work in bullet points and spreadsheets.

It works through:

Sensation
Emotion
Intuition

And when you reconnect with that…

Direction replaces confusion
Movement replaces stuckness
Certainty replaces doubt

The Process: Reconnecting With Your Inner Direction

In this episode, I guide you through a gentle but powerful process to:

Step away from overthinking
Connect with your future self (the one already living your purpose)
Feel what that life is like — without needing details
Let that feeling become your compass
Ask one simple question:

"If this is who I am… what's the next small step?"

No pressure.
No forcing.
Just noticing.

Because your answers don't shout…

They whisper.

Key Takeaways

Feeling lost doesn't mean you've lost your way
It often means your old identity is dissolving
The "void" is not empty — it's space for something new
Looking externally keeps you stuck
Your future self is already inside you
Direction comes from feeling first, action second
You don't need the whole plan — just the next step

A Simple Reflection

Take a moment after listening and ask yourself:

What am I trying to replace instead of reconnect with?
Where am I looking outside… instead of inside?
What does my "best life" feel like — not look like?
What's one small step that feeling is nudging me toward?

How This Fits the Journey

This episode builds directly from:

FMQ 533 – Why Are You Stuck?
Where we explored the fear of losing identity

And leads into:

The Missing Part of Success (#480)
Where we bring in mind-body alignment and embodiment

Because the full journey is:

You're not stuck — you're protecting something
You're not lost — you're disconnected
You don't need more thinking — you need alignment

Final Thoughts

You don't need to rush this.

You don't need to "figure it all out."

Because…

Your path isn't a destination.
It's a direction.

And it reveals itself…

One step
One feeling
One moment of awareness at a time

Call to Action

If this resonated:

Hit subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next
Share this with someone who might be feeling a little lost right now https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/482-if-youre-stuck-lets-move-on-heres-how
And most importantly…

Take one small step today

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected].

Subscribe to the Podcast

Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You

For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks

Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me

Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms

Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay,
Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay,
Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay,
Music by freegroove from Pixabay,
Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.
Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.
Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Welcome back to the Personal Development Unplugged podcast, with me, Paul. And subject today, the deeper dive today, is I've lost my way.

Or have I? You see, just saying those words, I've lost my way, have you ever said that to yourself? I did, not too long ago, and it was really weird, where, you know, because you don't necessarily say it out loud, but just quietly, in your own mind, yeah? And it's like, I don't know, I just don't know where I'm going anymore. And the thing, here's the thing, here's the thing, it's not that you've lost your way, because you haven't, you haven't lost your way. But I think sometimes it's like you've lost that connection with yourself, with that part of you, that already knows the way.

Which is weird, it's like, you don't know that you know, but you do know, just that you don't know the word is yet. And you see, have you ever noticed, have you ever noticed this? When life changes, because it does, doesn't it? Everything changes, it evolves. When things you used to do seem to fade away, or you decide to change, there's suddenly a space, isn't there? There's a space, it's like a void, a void that needs to be filled.

It's a little bit like grief, isn't it? There's just that void there. And it's, I don't know, it's a funny old thing, that void, because it's as if a part of you knows there's something new happening. And that can be a little bit frightening, can't it? But the other part goes, yeah, okay, but what is it? What is it? And you can look.

I know I did, I looked and I looked. And the harder you look, and the more you look, nothing. It seems you can't grasp it, you can't get hold of it.

It just disappears, this is void. And it's not a void inside here, it's now a void out there. Now I'm tempted to say, does that make sense? But apparently that's not the thing to say.

But it made sense to me, because it actually happened to me. You see, it did feel like grief. It felt I'd lost something.

Not just what I did, but who I was. And that's the thing. I'd made some changes, deliberate changes in my life.

Let some things go. Decided I'm going to change, this is a time for a change, big changes. And the thing is, it was as if I was losing my identity.

And that's a shift, you see. When your identity shifts, directions disappears. It really does.

But here's the thing, it disappears for a while. That's all just for a while. But while you're waiting for that while, it is quite unnerving.

Have you ever had that? It really happened to me a few months ago. And my life was changing, but it felt that I was really losing who I was. I was no longer the person I thought I was, because I'd put my identity into these behaviours, the things I did.

And now not doing them, I felt I was no longer the real Paul anymore. And because when that direction disappears for a while, it's as if you don't know who you're becoming. Because you're not there yet, but you know you're not that anymore.

How can you know though, where you're going, when you make those changes? Because the thing is, you look out there, that's the problem. You look out there for the things to fill it. I did, I looked everywhere.

And the more I looked out there, the less I found, the more it seemed to fade away. But the thing is, what I learnt was, it isn't out there. It was as if I already knew it was inside.

Inside. Because if you've ever been like that, I want to tell you it's in you. It's already in you.

But you just haven't connected again, because that evolution is moving forward. Now the thing is, I got a little bit of insight. I call it my future self-insight.

And I want you to play with me. Just play with me for a minute. I love this bit where we just keep playing.

Imagine this. And yeah, you can close your eyes or you don't, because I just want you to imagine something now. Like a daydream.

Give yourself permission just to be free to daydream in imagination. Use your imagineering. Imagine there's a version of you.

Not perfect, because nobody's perfect. But they are aligned. They're living their purpose.

That you is living your purpose. With purpose. Living a life with purpose.

Feeling a wonderful sense of fulfilment. I say that again. Living with purpose and feeling that sense of fulfilment.

Yeah? That's your best self, isn't it? Think about it now. Wouldn't that be your best self? When you could see yourself over there? They're not perfect, but aligned. They're congruent.

Living with purpose. Feeling that sense of fulfilment. Now, the interesting thing about that, and the thing I found, is that version of you had to walk to get there.

It had to walk a path to get there. It didn't just evolve. Well, it did evolve.

But it wasn't just a poof. Magic. Just because we imagine it.

It's out there. That future self is out there now. And the thing is, when you think about it, well, if they've walked that path now, it's that future you over there.

They know the way. So, maybe, maybe, instead of asking, like I did, what should I do? Because that's what I did. What should I do? And I couldn't find it, because I wanted something.

Maybe I could have asked. I did in the end. What would that version of me over there, living that life of fulfilment, a path, a passion, what would that version of me do next? The next step, as it were.

Now, how are you going to find out? I've already told you that that future version of you is really inside, but we just haven't connected yet. Notice the word yet. So, here's the thing.

I do say that a lot, don't I? Here's the thing. But I do. And do you know what? I'm going to say it even more.

Because I like saying it. Here's the thing, because what I want you to do now is play even more. I want to, because I love doing these things, create a purpose and a process, a real process to help you, because I think it just works.

So, if it's okay, because this is where I want you to find the answers, because you don't have to be like me, being totally lost, just a little bit. Even if you know where you're going, you can check up with this future self of yours to find even more. Because a lot of yours are very conscious, we want it unconscious, aligned.

And the only way to do that, I think, is you have to feel it first. You might think you're intelligent enough to imagine and think about it consciously what you want, but you're not. Nor am I, by the way, nobody is.

But once you start giving information to your unconscious mind with emotion, then your unconscious mind gets it. And now we can go backwards and forwards with that future self. So play, play with me.

Find a wonderful place that you can just be undisturbed for a moment or two, or maybe a little bit longer, where you can just let yourself go into this little bit of hypnosis, maybe. It's a guided visualization. Maybe it's like a meditation.

Whichever you want to call it, that'll be what it is. But find a place where you'll be undisturbed. Yeah? Because I want you to close your eyes, to take away all the distractions, and where you can truly focus inside, because that's where we said it was.

You don't have to look on the outside, you're looking on the inside. So if that's okay, if it isn't, by the way, either just listen to this gently, not too much, to get an idea of the process, but ideally just bookmark this point, and then come back to it. Okay? So you can really devote focused awareness on yourself.

Give yourself permission to spend time on you, because you're the only person who can give yourself that permission. Okay? And when you do that, finding that comfortable place where you'll be, as I say, undisturbed. Remember, this is hypnosis.

I'm a therapist, but not your therapist. But we're only looking now to your future self and guidance. So just take a wonderful deep breath.

Hold it for a second or two. And as you breathe out, just allow your eyes to close. Yeah? Just allow your eyes to close.

There you go. And breathe gently in, making every in-breath more gentle than the one before. And then with every out-breath, allow yourself to be gently pulled inside to that wonderful place of comfort.

And as you do that, that comfort can grow. You could even wonder to yourself right now, ask yourself the question, what would it be like to be three times more comfortable than you are right now? And feel that comfort now. Feel it going through every cell of your body as you breathe, easily and effortlessly, where you and your unconscious mind can get closer and closer.

Now, just let go. Let go of trying to figure out anything at the moment. No thinking.

No thinking whatsoever. Just enjoy the just feeling. That's right.

We're just going to feel and imagine that you are already living your best life. Yeah? If you take that future self back into you right now, living your full, wonderful best life, not the details, just the feeling. Imagine how that would feel, living your best life.

Just get that quiet sense of it. Yeah. Just notice that.

Allow it to maybe grow a little bit more intense so you could really feel it. How does it feel in your body? Maybe just notice. Where do you feel it in your body? It might be all over.

It might be in that special place where you just feel this living your best life. Maybe you could describe it to yourself. How does it feel? Is it warm? Does it have a sense of ease? Maybe.

Because you're living this fulfilled life. There's a certainty now. What does that feel like? Maybe there's a curiosity.

An excitement. They get together, don't they? Because this feeling is your direction. And that's a thing.

That's a thing that I discovered. We're not looking for a thing. We're looking for a direction.

A direction that will lead us into a wonderful adventure of purpose, of passion, of curiosity and excitement, and that certainty. And as you tune into that feeling, just the feeling, give it permission. Allow that feeling to grow just a little bit.

That's right, just a little bit. Really allow your mind to get in tune. Your conscious mind and your unconscious mind to get in tune with this feeling.

And as it grows, maybe you could just ask gently, if this is who I am, what's the next small step that I would take right now? And there's no need to force an answer. Just notice what comes up. Listen with all your senses.

Because your answers come in many, many ways. They may be visual. They may be a word, a feeling.

It might be tiny. Or it might be so obvious to you. It might even surprise you.

As I say, it comes in many different ways. So just listen and notice. This is how the path begins.

Not all at once. It's all about one step. Just taking one small step.

One step from that feeling. Really allow that feeling to grow and get your unconscious mind, I'll ask your unconscious mind, to learn from this. To allow you to give you the intuition of the next small step and the next small step after that.

To look for opportunities to create this wonderful filled life. The direction. As you learn, consciously and unconsciously.

That's right. Because you can bring this awareness back into your reality. In a minute.

But not just yet. Because just maybe, consider this. You don't need to have the whole plan.

You don't need the five year vision, the ten year vision. Or even the perfect map. Because your future self doesn't hand you the whole journey.

Just nudges you. Just a little bit. One step at a time.

Remember this path is not a thing. It's a direction. And it's a direction to... That's right.

It's an adventure. And it's yours. All from a feeling.

Not a formula. And... As you think of that, there's something I want you to consider one more time. If you've ever been afraid of losing yourself, as I did, and unsure how to step into the new one, maybe this is the bridge.

You don't have to jump. You just have to become. And just allow that to resonate within you, integrate within you.

And allow your unconscious mind to find the resources to feed you those steps along the way. So you can enjoy every step. And as you do that, take a wonderful in-breath.

And open your eyes and feel absolutely wonderful. There you go. That's how we do it.

I hope you enjoyed that. Because it is a direction. And that's the bit that got me.

Because as I say, I was looking for things to replace the things I'd stopped doing. And I thought my identity was about the doing. But they're just behaviours.

It's the being. And then finding that path. Allow that path to come to you as you just follow that direction.

And I'm going to be doing deeper work on this, because as I'm doing deeper work on myself on this. Because I think it's so important. And it's so, sometimes to me, it's ambiguous, it's vague.

And sometimes we want something that we really firmly hold on to. But it's just not there to hold on to, because it's not a thing. But as you walk that path, bit by bit, step by step.

I believe it all unfolds. The beauty of life unfolds for you. Because then you start to create it.

This is creating your reality by having the feeling. It's a bit like having the feeling of the wish fulfilled. When you look at goals, try them on, feel it.

You get that direction to the feeling, isn't it? Yeah. So, maybe if you just ask yourself the way I did. Have you really lost your way? Because I was thinking at the time, I've lost my way, I don't know.

But then I thought, no I haven't. I've just been looking in the wrong direction for the wrong things. Because I say, I don't know, because your path isn't something you find.

It's something you feel, it's something you tread. And then you follow it, pace by pace, step by step. You might even say, you might drive it, driving that bus.

Because ultimately you do drive the bus. The metaphor keeps coming, you drive the bus. You're in charge, you're responsible.

I'm here to give you a little guide, maybe I'll give you a little nudge down again. You know, searching, because for me, for the things I was giving away, stopped doing, looking for things to do. I suddenly found that actually, I just need to reconnect with what I called my North Star.

I know other people call it North Stars as well, I think everyone does. Do they? I don't know. But it's my North Star.

And I was searching for things to do, and they're not there. As I say, it's a direction of being. So, you drive your bus, I'll drive mine.

Maybe we'll meet up on holiday. If you could, it would be wonderful, I think, as part of this path, this direction you take, to share this type of things with other people. Share your path, verbally.

Not all of it, because a lot of it might be personal and you're working through, but other people can help you as well. But as you express it outside, it allows you to be clearer, or understand where you're not clear, and you can do more personal work. And if it's not clear, you can always email me, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com, and we can work on this together.

Just as I'm working with you. Sharing the things that I'm experiencing now. And this is where I want to take the Personal Development Unplugged podcast to real stuff.

Not just picking the clickbait stuff. I know the title's a bit clickbaity, but you have to have that, I think. But I just want you to... Yeah, if you can share it, subscribe, and all that stuff, but just live your path.

Think about it. Take a few moments to sit quietly. And just go, what did I hear? What did I learn? You know, we're not pushing stuff away.

We're just being open now. So, there you go. I hope you enjoyed that.

Please share, as I say, subscribe, and all the stuff that everyone says you to tell. If you would, it would be great. But this is just me, Paul, your mate Cloughie, just sharing some of my journey, my adventure, and trying to put it into processes, the things that I learn.

And I know every episode is not going to be the one that... Ah, this is it. Every time. But I know there'll be some golden nuggets, and I hope just to give you that little nudge to think.

So, if there's any subjects, by the way, anything that you would like me to explore, I have to try them on first, and see what we can find. Come up with processes, or even the processes that I already know, we can express them and do them together. And we're going to keep changing.

We're going to become not only that future self, quicker, bigger, better, brighter, but we're going to develop it even more, so we can have more passion than we can stand, more fun than we can stand. And do you know what? We can also feel happy for no reason. So, on that note, I'll see you next time.

I'll be in your ears. Have more fun than you can stand. Go fly.

Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly in your eyes.

Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]