378 | Stop Rescuing Children in the Playroom

In this episode, I address something I see far too often in child-centered play therapy: therapists struggling to let children struggle. If it is painful for you to watch a child wrestle with frustration, anger, failure, or confusion in the playroom, we need to examine that. Returning responsibility is not a technical skill we check off a list — it is a philosophical commitment. When we subtly rescue, hint, guide, or ease a child's struggle, we undermine the very growth CCPT is designed to produce.

I revisit the butterfly-and-cocoon metaphor from the CPRT curriculum to illustrate why struggle is not harmful — it is strengthening. The resistance, frustration, and emotional intensity children experience in the playroom are the very processes that build regulation, grit, competence, and self-trust. Our role is not to fix, save, or soothe away difficulty. Our role is to stay grounded, neutral, and expectant — trusting that what the child is working through is exactly what they need. If we are internally distressed by their struggle, that is our work to do. Fidelity to the model requires that we celebrate the struggle, not relieve it.

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Common References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315537948
Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.