35 Years I Wanted JESUS’ Help, But Not JESUS | Testimony #401

0:00I was introduced to Jesus when I was five years old. But I thought I believed in Him, but I didn't. I knew who He was. My aunt had introduced me. I can remember being five years old. And my aunt was like, you want to be born again? And I'm like, five years old. I'm like, yeah, this is cool, whatever. And I remember repeating after her being like, I believe in Jesus. I'm born again, had no idea what it meant. So according to like the West, the dictionary definition of believe, I believed in Him. I knew I knew He was real, but I live my whole life. Just doing that. Like if we look at the definition of believe in the Greek and the Hebrew, it's an actual transformation of your heart that changes, changes the way you act.

1:00You know, it's an outward thing. It's not just, I believe that He's real. You know, it's like when we meet somebody, it's like, oh, you know such and such. You know this person? Like, yeah, I know this person, but you know, I know that face if I see him, but I don't really know him. And that's basically, especially who I was to Jesus for 35 years. He was always, if I had a problem, I knew I could pray. You know, if I had emergency, I knew I could call on Jesus. But as far as like giving him my heart and trusting him and relying on him and having a relationship with him, I never did it. So I was blessed with the, with his spirit at five, but I basically abused him my whole life. And then I grew up and I broke in home. My dad lived two states over. So basically we kind of like split custody.

2:05Not even really think it was a problem. I just thought it was normal. But as I got older and I started looking, you know, and I, not a happy relationship with Jesus and I started looking back on the way that I acted as a youth. I can see that there was some issues and the issues were like, I never felt abandoned, but I can see that the way I was acting was abandonment issues. I didn't feel rejected, but the way I was acting and things I was doing, one attention and all growing up, that's because I felt rejected. And not saying that my parents did a bad job. I'm just saying like, that's based on my actions growing up. That's what was going on. So I grew up, you know, as a kid, you know, I wanted a lot of attention. I wanted to be cool. I wanted to be, you know, basically like one of the attention and stuff. And my mom remarried and my stepdad as a Catholic. So grew up in Catholic school.

3:08My grandparents put me in private school, which was a Catholic school. You know, I did the whole thing with the Catholic of made communion, made confirmation. We went to church and all Catholic church and it was like, I hate to say like this, but Jesus wasn't important to me. But if I had a problem, if I was in a bind, you better believe I was looking up, help me, help me. And not I look back on it. It kind of hits you in the heart, but so I grew up, you know, by the time I was 14 because my mom was going to college. She started going to college. My stepdad was going to college. So I was unsupervised a lot. When I was 14, I was introduced to drugs with a smoking weed. And it was like, you know, whatever the ones I was hanging with, not going to mention those names, but the ones I was associating with at a young age.

4:11Oh, yeah, I'm smoked this. You know, I'll come drink this, try this, and I was so stupid, I would do it. So by the time I'm 14, I'm already engaged in smoking. We stealing cigarettes from people. We come across them alcohol. We drank in it like from there, that started 14. And then from there, I'm unsupervised. From like 16, 17 for sure. And by then, you know, I'm buying weed and selling it just to have it for free. So I'm dealing drugs. It's 17. Graduated when I was young. I was 17 when I graduated. I was 17 whenever I started college. I was a freshman in college at 17. I was selling weed running back and forth to New Orleans in my car. Where we could come back and sell it. So you know what I turned into, oh, the weed man got some acid.

5:13The weed man got some coke, you know, the weed man got this. He would have got that. I didn't know any better before you know it. I'm just doing whatever, selling whatever. Join the military because the girl I was dating, join the military and she was trying to convince me. Why don't you join? Why don't you join? I'm like, I ain't about to do that. And then it's like, I think the her recruiter kind of slipped in. All me a few times. Told me, you know, the recruiters, they tell you all the good stuff. Well, he kind of caught my air with the free college. And he's like, oh, yeah, National Guard. You don't even, you know, y'all don't go to war. You're going to be home every week. You just got to show up every weekend, two weeks a year. Join the army. We pay for your college. So I'm like, whatever. Join the army. Did the little basic training and stuff like that. Come back. I think I did a second semester in college.

6:15And then they like, well, you National Guard, but for the next 545 days, you active duty. 18 months, summer 18 months. So like, well, I guess it just got real where we going. Hey, like, so you're going to spend six months on your way out. You're going to spend in Fort Poked. Then you're going to spend six months in Kuwait. Then you're going to spend a year in Iraq. Then on your way out, you're going to spend. I don't know if it's adding up, but it was something like that. You're going to spend some time in Kuwait on your way out. Then you're going to spend some time out processing again. We went to war. A lot of people ask you, you know, oh, you've been the war. How many people you kill? First thing people want to ask you. It's like, we didn't really do all that. I was in an aviation unit. And we had a bunch of blackhawk helicopters. So basically our unit was like a taxi for all the important people like Colin Powell,

7:18Saddam Hussein, they transported in our blackhawks to court and all that. When we was driving in on a convoy, I was rear control of the last vehicle. We coming in the back that like downtown back then, they hit the first vehicle with an ID, stopped the whole convoy, had to get out kind of like post up for a second, like in the central business district of Baghdad. And just like kind of looking around, like just ready, you know, like if somebody comes a thread, we got to kill them or we got to shoot out. You know, that kind of message you had a little bit, but I didn't really realize it. I can remember, I was rear control. So my job was to make sure that nobody come in from the rear of the convoy. But I mean, it's like a four lane in a state. So every time somebody would start kind of fast, I had to point the grenade launcher, the M60. No, it was the M19.

8:20I had to point it out there. Oh, they went to you. Like if this person shows a gun or you know, I got to kill them, we got to blow them up. And I could remember like, I don't know why I remember, but they had this cuff. They must have been a married couple with the kid in the back seat coming up fast. And I had to put that M19 on them. And I remember she disappeared. She ducked and he put his hands up and whipped it around. And it's like, I never really understood the damage that they did. You know, even though we didn't like have to shoot in the body, like just having the way the military trained you to kill and they transformed you and they programmed your mom. And I think it changed me a little bit because like I'm still an active substance abuse. From you know, like I started at 14, but by the time I'm 17, I graduate.

9:20I'm abusing every substance I get my hands on. If I don't have whatever drug I'm doing, smoking, whatever, I'm a drinking, you know, always something for 25 years it was like that. So we, we over in Iraq since we, since we are the, the taxi for everybody. If it's our day off, we can sign up. We can go to flight office and we can sign up and be like, anybody going to Babylon today, anybody going to the green zone and back that today. And they like, oh yeah, we got like two or three open spots going to the greens on. So we'd be like, hey, let's go. We get out there and the kids would be selling bootleg DVDs and fake Rolexes and panhandle. This is like the, the mecca of panhandle that I've ever seen as far as just trying to get you to buy stuff. But we going out there with like empty rucksack and we trying to come back with liquor.

10:24So like on our days off, we are in a combat zone, getting wasted, drinking. So going through it short, still an active substance abuse throughout the whole 12 months out there. I had actually got demoted before I went for a drug test, get back with this free college that went back to college. It was like I had, I don't, I don't think I came out, I came back from war with a sense of entitlement. But because I think I had that before growing up, just a sense of entitlement, you know, narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder. But I think he kind of elevated, you know, didn't care what anybody said. So everything, all the wrong I was doing before was just kind of intensified by the time I got back. So I didn't go back to college, still dealing drugs, just doing crazy stuff.

11:26Years go by, probably about 10 years of that, go buy, get in a car accident, probably less than that. Probably like five years go by, get in a car accident, herniated disc in my back, herniated disc in my neck. Dr. puts me on pain pills and muscle relaxes. So before you know it, I'm hooked, I got this previous pass of such as abuse, now getting hooked on pain pills. By the time he wants to come here, all the pain pills, I didn't find a new substance, you know. This is, this is awesome. According to what I believed, then suboxin was out there. I could get suboxin instead of spending five dollars a day on all these pain pills, I can get suboxin and spend like $20. I think it lasts me like almost a whole week. So, you know, just a new substance and go through that phase, then the harder drugs start coming in. So before you know it, I'm just like a snowball going down the mountain.

12:32And of course, when I get in a bind, every time I get in a bind, what do I do? Help me, Lord help me. And you know what he does? Because he loves me, because he loves us, because if his grace that he gives us and his mercy that he gives us, that we don't deserve, every time I would genuinely turn to him and give him my heart, he would say, come on. If I'm sorry for what I've been doing, generally sorry for what I've been doing, Jesus is like, come on. I love you. I got you. And every time I cried out to him in prayer, I asked him tell him what I needed. I changed my life. I need your help and he'd give it to me every time.

13:32And what I would do every time after I get comfortable, start backsliding. So this is another repeated process I was doing, run doing for help, he helped me and then push him off to the side. But he loves us so much. I'm here to tell y'all he loves us so much that if we just generally give him our heart out of obedience and be obedient and actually build a relationship, with him, he's here to help, he's here to save, he's here to transform, he's here to redeem, he's here to give you grace, he's here to give you mercy, he's here to pour out his love. No matter how many times he knows what we're going to do. He's probably looking at, he's probably looking at me like, look, I know you ain't going to be here long, but I love you so much. Here, here's my love, here's my grace, here's my mercy.

14:35Knowing that I'm going to get back up by his power, knock the dirt off and go dive right back into the mud hole. And he's going to sit there and patiently wait for me to come back. That's how awesome he is. So keep pushing forward, start getting in trouble with the law, start towering with a little slap on the wrist. That starts snowball doing the snowball effect like all the other bad behaviors before you know it. I was locked up for 10 months, I get out, I go back to what I was doing and I didn't realize that one of the guys I used to sell drugs to really just think I'm thinking I'm helping out a friend. Like, oh, you trying to get high? Well, I help you out, give me your money. You know, hook him up. Turns out he got in trouble. Now he's an informant.

15:38So I'm out here, like just trying to help somebody out, I'm trying to put a few dollars in my pocket here and there. I pick up seven felonies, five distribution charges all within like a month. Yeah, that was a, that was a big change for me. So by the time I got to the jail, they read out your bond, like they go around before you do the intake, they do roll call and they're like call your name and they're like, all right. So here's your bond, they like 50,000, 5,000, 1,000, you know, they read out each bond by number. So you could like add up in your head and they get to me and he's like 250, 250, 250, 150. Like, what's you talking about? 250 dollars. He's like, no, $100,000, 250. I added up, it was like 750,000 dollars in bond. And I was like, it's over with for me for a while.

16:42So basically prepared myself, psychologically to sit down for 10 years. They rounded up like 13 of us and they all freaking out, they running back and forth to the phone, you know, trying to call people. And I'm like, I'm going to be here a while. I ain't about to try to do my time like that. I'm trying to get a blanket. Kenny, a question. How old are you at this point? 2016, so I was, I was 33. I'm 42 now. So I get settled in. All the people I got picked up with on the roundup. Quite a few of them come to find out was kind of like pointing at me, you know, he's the guy that you want. He's the guy that was doing all the most of the stuff. Like I was some kind of kingpin or something, but it is what it is. So I do that. Cried out to the Lord again. You know, I mean, they're doing Bible study, diving into my Bible. My mom sent me a book by Charles Persian called How to Pray.

17:51It changed the way I look at prayer. You know, it breaks down all the different types of prayer gives examples of the way people pray, Daniel, David, Elijah, you know. So what do I do start praying begging to Lord look, they trying to give me 10 flat. And at the time, if you got 10 flat with it like a drug charge, if you did 10 flat, you had to do like nine back then. They changed it after like if you're not violent, a violent offender, you didn't have to do most of it. But it wasn't like that. So I'm like, they try to give me 10. That's nine. I was like, Lord, just look, please just give me something with good time. Please begging you. So I go back to court that last time and I was like, I got to get rid of this lawyer ended up getting another lawyer.

18:52He meets with the judge in the DA and he like, they said, 17 with the good is all they could do. Which means I'd have to do like 35% of that. So it was like a little bit better than 10. So I'm like, let's go on the paper. So did that ended up doing like just on the seven years. Ended up coming here to the transitional work program in 2019 or 2018. And I was still cutting up in jail when I was upstate. I was still still using. So once again, I went to the Lord for help. Please help me. Help me. I need your help. And I'd imagine he did the same thing. He's like, he comes again. You only know me when you want something. But you know what he did because he loves me and he loves us. He showed me that love. And he said, look, I can see your heart.

19:59I know your intentions are real, even though I know he knew that I was going to slip up some more. But he was there for me. He answered my prayers. So I come here and do three years here, my last three years here. And I get out. Some of the people here like, you know, keep doing what you're doing, you know, saying that word. You keep going church. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I got it, I got it, I got it. After about three months, I went see my grandma. I hadn't seen her a while. I go visit her. And she's dying. Like, I could see she's doing bad. She's losing a vision. She's working around the house and stuff. She got to be Gordon. And like, she'll just barely nick herself on her leg on her arm. And then blood trail to the house because she's going to blood thinner.

21:02I go visit her. They got blood trail to the house. She don't notice because it's losing a vision. So I went over there to visit her. I ended up moving in with her. I was like, I can't, I can't leave you here. So about a month or so after she got real sick. Right after Hurricane Ida, she got real sick and went to the hospital. Once she went to the hospital, I didn't see her again. I never, I never went see her. But she was ended up on a ventilator, into a personal way. After that, it was like nobody's watching, you know, I'm by myself. The first time I really had some solitude since I had been out, I'd only been out for like three months. The people I was working with using, they using drugs. So guess what? One day I start using, start using again. And before you know it, back at it. And ended up getting real sick.

22:09The Lord told me like, look, it was like the Lord told me, look, I see what you're doing. I can see. You only come to me when you need, need something. Every time you come to me and you go back and run back, like the Bible says, running back to your vomit, that's fine. You can come back to me. But you got some consequences, you know. Every time I ran back, there was a consequence, whether it was legal consequences or health consequences. To this day, I'm still paying the consequences for the things that I ran back to. And you know, my whole life, I always wanted something. You know, I wanted a family. I wanted a wife. I wanted kids. What I should have, what I should have been like was, I want a relationship with you. I want a relationship with the Lord.

23:10I want a relationship with Jesus. You know, I want to put him first. But my whole life, you know, I wanted, the main thing was I wanted a wife and some kids. I wanted a family. So I would get these relationships and I was putting the female first in my life. And when we put another, whoever we in a relationship with, when we put that person first in our life, that's how we get a toxic relationship. So I always had toxic relationships, but the thing about it is all the things that I wanted back in the day, now that I put him first, he's giving me everything I always wanted. But they small, they small because he's giving me so many, so much greater and so much more abundantly that the things that I thought I wanted, it's like this.

24:12Because everything else he's blessed me with, things I can never imagine. Like, to be able to buy a house, you know, I got out of prison in 2021, we in 2026. I'm a year into having my own house, you know, of course I owe the mortgage company, but I can work towards paying that house off. I can pay extra on the principal and my 30 year loan could be 10 years. I could pay it off. I could retire in 10, 15 years. If the Lord allows me to see that, you know, I got a wife that prays for me. I got a wife that has relationship with the Lord. I got a wife that loves me, like no one has ever loved me. I got a son who she brought into my life. I met him when he was 16, he's 18 now.

25:12And such a blessing, like, I could have never imagined that all I had to do was put him first and everything would have fell into place. He gave me a family, he gave me a wife that prays for me, that loves me. He gave me a son, you know. The people that did time with me, my mom, my dad, like when I was in that courtroom and you got to plead guilty to every charge, seven charges, then to visually say your name, I plead guilty to such and such charge. But the penalty, 17 years hard labor, you know, seven times I did that, looking over my mom, like she did the time with me, you know. And to be able to be out now and people trust me now, people trust me around their kids, they trust me around their family, trust me with their vehicle, you know.

26:15And it's all because I put him first for a change and he changed me, he put a new heart in me, he transformed my mind, you know. And it's like back in the day when I wanted, you know, God, please, I just want to have a wife for some kids and a family, you know. Turns out he's got more force, you know, he's got more than that, he's got people that will trust and love me. So after I slipped up there last time, I started going to church, I was going to church three times a week. Every time they do alter-call, I was up there. Sometimes I go up there and he'd be like, what we praying for today and I'd be like, I don't even know, but I'm here. Laying hands on me, praying. I could just feel every time I go up there and somebody would pray for me. Sometimes I could hear the whole church behind me, praying.

27:18Sometimes I can just feel hands on my back, you know. People behind me reaching out and laying hands on me and it just changed my life. It's been about two years now. Now I'm serving the Lord, you know. I come back here to the work release, started out every Saturday, come here to encourage these guys to show them, you know what? Y'all can get out of here and y'all can be something, you know. And the something y'all can be is a mighty man of God, y'all can be blessed and highly favored, y'all can be a child of the most high God, you know. Y'all can be walking around here with the peace of God that surpasses all understanding to protect your heart and mind, you know. He shares his wisdom with us, y'all can have that. When things go bad, when things, when we're going to the valley and whenever, you know.

28:21You feel like my whole life is just falling apart. He gives you his joy to be your strength, you know. We can have that. So I come here, I've been coming here July, be two years. The Lord led me here. The Lord was leading me to come back in here and see what was going on. So I came, I came with Miss Gail, she was doing life recovery. I called Miss Gail City, can I come with you tonight? She said, yeah. So I came and I sat in here, we did life recovery and I just sat back and observed. You know, the Lord was calling me just to come check it out. So I did that. Then I called brother Billy Taylor. I think they was coming on the Thursday. I said, hey, can I come with y'all? He's like, yes, I came here again on the Thursday. I just kind of sat back and observed. You know, and then I think I came back on a Saturday. Before you know it, the door was wide open for me to come in here and have Bible study. And it was just something I never imagined.

29:26I took the last couple months off because you know, the ministry starts at home. And if I'm going to be running around doing ministry, but I'm not being the husband and the father that I'm called to be at home, it's time for me to step back and work on that. So last couple months I've been doing that. Just spend a time with the family, you know, just trying to be a better person, trying to be a better husband, trying to be a better father. You know, because the Lord calls us as men to be the spiritual leaders of the home, not that we any better, but we call it the behussings. We call it the befathers. So I'm just working on my time management and took a few months off. So that's where we are now. I'm also blessed with a good job. Like I said, the Lord has given me exceedingly abundantly more than I ever thought I wanted.

30:34And it's all because of his grace. It's all because of his mercy. It's all because of his love. And it's all because it starts with obedience and putting him first. And here I am today. I was blessed with the privilege and the opportunity to come in here and boldly share about things that Jesus did in my life. I'm not really big on testimony because I don't, I never wanted to feel like I was glorifying the things that I used to do. But you know, it's not about what I used to do. It's about what he did, what he's doing, and what he wants to do. Not just in my life, but in everybody's life. You know, the Bible says that we are adopted into his family. When we believe we received the Holy Spirit and we are adopted into his family as children, as his children.

31:38So if you don't believe according to the Bible, you're not adopted into the family. That doesn't mean he don't love you. That doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. That doesn't mean that you exempt. You know, I encourage anybody that here's this. If you, maybe you like me and you just tried everything, you tried to seek everything that is out there to reach something that you thought you wanted to reach. Have you tried Jesus? Have you tried having relationship with the Lord? You know, when I was introduced to Jesus, I thought, you know, I knew he was real, but I didn't, I didn't run to him. I didn't trust him. I didn't rely on him. I wasn't obedient to the things that he said, how else are we going to know the things that he instructs us to do if we don't read the word? How else are we going to have a relationship with him if we don't leave the word, read the word? So just believe in that he's real. I didn't go get us anywhere. Doesn't mean he doesn't love us, but the word says that without faith, he's not pleased. Without faith, he cannot be pleased. It doesn't mean he don't love us.

32:54So what I'm trying to say is that even if you don't believe in Jesus, that doesn't mean you don't qualify to fall under his promises. You know, that doesn't mean you don't qualify to receive his grace, to receive his mercy. You know, nowhere in the Bible has anybody ever received a miracle from disobedience. Nobody wants to believe that to receive a miracle, you have to do something first, but miracles begin with obedience. You know, just knowing that he's real is not enough. That's not relationship. So I encourage anybody that listens to this. Try Jesus. You don't have to try him forever if you don't want to. You tried this and you tried this and you tried this and you tried this and you tried this. And guess what? You probably gave up on that. Try Jesus. If you give up on Jesus, you give up on Jesus. Try him. Kenny, could you actually pray for those who are watching right now and are wanting to try Jesus to give their lives to Jesus? Maybe they're in a place where they don't even know what that may look like.

34:07But after hearing your testimony and identifying with parts of your story, they're ready to say yes. Okay, so let's pray. You know, Jesus says in the Bible that anything you ask in his name, he will do it. But a lot of people like to take it out of context. But if we keep it in the context, it's all about things that line up with God's will and it's all about things that give God glory. And I know there's one thing I know about the Holy Spirit is that he can be invited. He can be welcomed. And if we give him a chance, he can transform our lives. He can transform our hearts and minds. So my prayer right now, Lord God, I just come to you and thanks given Lord. I'm going to thank you. Come to you and thanks given like it's already been done, Lord. I just want to thank you for that that one person out there. Maybe it's one person. Maybe it's more than one person, Lord. And I just want to thank you for that person. And I just want to thank you, Lord, for softening their heart for you, Lord.

35:21I just want to thank you, Lord, for doing the mighty work inside of their heart inside of their mind, Lord. I just want to thank you, Lord, for leading them into all true Lord. And I just want to thank you, Lord, because I know that you have a plan or purpose for this person or for these people, Lord. Your word says that if we need wisdom to ask for and you'll give it, Lord, I just want to thank you for giving this person wisdom, Lord, so that they can see for themselves so that they can seek. They can seek the answers, Lord, I just want to thank you, Lord, for showing them something, Lord, so that they'll give Jesus a try. Lord, I just want to thank you for your grace and mercy that we don't deserve. But you give it to us anyway, Lord, I just want to thank you for your love. It's everlasting, Lord. Your mercy is a renew every morning. Your word says that nothing can separate us from your love, Lord.

36:21I just want to thank you, Lord, for the testimony of somebody watching this video that they're going to be set free. They're going to, they're not just going to tell somebody to test the morning. But somebody's going to see that the way that you have transformed their hearts and minds and they're going to know something changed. And they're going to say, I don't know what that is, but I want some of that. And the some of that that I'm talking about is Jesus Christ, Lord. I thank you for the way that you come into our lives. I thank you for the way that we produce fruit of your spirit, Lord, the way that we're able to love with everlasting love that doesn't expect anything in return. Lord, I thank you because you give us your peace that surpasses all understanding to protect our hearts and minds when we go into some trouble.

37:22Your joy to be our strength, Lord. Your patience, not just patience to wait for your food, Lord. I'm talking about the patience to deal with a human being, Lord, long suffering. Without these things, Lord, kindness and gentleness, self-control, Lord, we are nothing. And I just thank you, Lord, for sharing these things with somebody that's watching us today, Lord, so that they can taste and experience your goodness. Everything you have to offer, Lord, they can share that testimony and somebody's lives can be changed through the work that you do in that life, Lord. We give you all the glory I am praising Jesus name, Amen. Kenny, who is Jesus to you? Well, let me start off by saying who I was to Jesus and for probably 35 years, I was just that guy that just kept calling for help.

38:26Showing up when I need something. You know how that person that calls you only when they need something? That was me. But I say that to explain who he is to me. And to me, Jesus is, he's the one. I can sit here and I can name all the names that the Bible says about who he is and the titles that he has in the Bible, which I'm firmly believing. But as a personal question, he's the one that I run to that when I run to him, he's not worried about the fact that he knows he knows I'm just here temporarily just to get what I need. He's the one that saved me. He's the one that transformed my heart. He's the one that transformed my mind. And even though I run to him, my whole life only when I need help, he's the one that just does like this with his hands and says, come on, I love you.

39:28I got you. It doesn't matter what you've been doing. He's the one that sees everything I did. He's the one that knows everything that I thought, everything that I think he knows it. But when I take my heart and I give it to him, he loves me so much that he's not worried about that. All he's worried about is he's just happy that I'm here to build my relationship with him. He's my best friend. He's my father. He's the one that saved me when I couldn't save myself for the last two years. I can say that I'm trying to repay him for all those years that I came to him with second intentions. I'm just here for help, but then after I get help, I'm going to run back and do what I was doing. I'm just trying to live my life and pay him back even though I know I never can. I know I don't deserve his grace. I don't deserve his mercy.

40:33So I'm just working just trying to be a willing vessel so that I can do what I'm called to do. I can do what he called me to do. And he's just awesome. Do you have any last words for those who are watching your testimony right now? I just want to encourage people not just to try Jesus like I said earlier, but I want to encourage people to share Jesus. In Acts 4, Peter and John got arrested and they told them it was like, look, y'all got to stop talking about Jesus. We don't have enough to keep you here to tame, but y'all got to stop talking about Jesus. So they let them go. First thing they did was they went and gathered with the older disciples. And you know what they did? They prayed. They didn't pray to be filled with the Holy Spirit. They prayed for the boldness to tell people about Jesus.

41:35They were filled with the Holy Spirit because of that. If you read Acts 4, it says how they prayed for the boldness and they were filled with the Spirit. And then Jesus is final words in the book in the first or second chapter Acts right before you send them into heaven. He says, you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you to go out amongst the world and be a witness unto him. So I encourage y'all to tell people about Jesus. If I've been shy my whole life. When I heard I had to take speech in college, I think part of me died. I was so scared talking in front of people. But let me tell you something. Greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world. And when the Spirit of the living God of the Holy God is inside of us and the boldness comes with that, that's how we go out there and we tell people about Jesus.

42:48So I encourage y'all if y'all might be too scared to tell people about Jesus call upon the Lord. If it lines up with his will and it gives them glory on and praise, you better believe he's coming through. So call on the Lord. Say, Lord, thank you for the boldness that you give me to tell people about you. So I encourage y'all to tell people about Jesus because you never know who needs to hear you never know whose life can be changed. And if you tell somebody about Jesus and their life's changed and then they tell somebody about Jesus, their life's changed. All you do is tell one person, but that person told a person. You know, before you know it, it's like a chain reaction can change your life. You think you're going out there to bless somebody, but the way God works is the people you think you're going to bless, bless you even more. So yeah.