3 Life Lessons with Rhiannon Joyce

0:00This episode of Inherited is brought to you by Pandora, express your style and tell your story with Pandora's personal engraved jury. Rianan Joyce, welcome to Inherited Life Lessons. Life lessons? Apparently, I have some to give. Of course you do. Oh, I don't know. I have been a little bit nervous about doing this recording. Missions are actually flagged with me. Oh God, I didn't even know how long ago. And I jumped at it. I was like, absolutely. Yes, but now we're sitting here saying the uncomfy thing out loud of a little nervous. No, you've got so much wisdom. I feel like in business work and your personal life, because you are heading into your mid-30s now too, and I feel like a lot sort of starts to change for us, especially as women. Sorry, I'm going to start with your first one right now. It's if you don't like something about yourself, you have agency to change it. And you told our producers that, along with this lesson, you don't like to identify yourself with labels all the time, like, you know, the Myers-Briggs Enneagram Astrology,

1:01which you believe can be helpful, but they can also be like a convenient way to justify the behavior too. So speak to me about this lesson and what it like means to you. Yeah, there's a lot in this, and I will admit there is a little bit of recency bias with this, because at this point in my life, I'm 33. As you said, mid-30s, I feel I am at a very reflective stage as well, because I've been married for about, oh God, like 10 months, kind of feel like I'm transitioning into that phase of like thinking about having a family. And by design, I think you start thinking about who you are, how I'm showing up in the world right now. So I am in a very reflective state. That being said, I feel like, historically, I've always been someone who has really lent into labels. And I always think about missions, I always shame more episode where they famously like want to reject labels. But the reason why I called out those three things specifically, being the Myers-Briggs, the Enneagrams, and the Astrology is because all three of those things, I have done at various points in my life as a way to really try and intrinsically understand

2:06who I am. And as I said in the summary that I gave to Mon, it has absolutely been helpful at times, and I can really identify my strengths, particularly. And that's the thing. Everyone will look at him and goes, I'm so good. Being a Sagittarius, Son, and Moon means XYZ. There are things that you naturally lean into, and you really want to absorb the positive. But I had a bit of a tendency to reject the negative things, or look at them and go, oh, well, that's just like part of who I am. There would be this weird justification where I would think, oh, but the good comes with the bad. And now I'm at that point where I really reject that. Yes. I really do want to reflect on the things that I am not great at, because we are all human beings, and everyone has strengths and weaknesses. For me, some of my biggest weaknesses, and because we're in, I mean, we're sitting here behind the mic. I think it's important for me to talk about what I actually think my weaknesses are for this to really resonate with listeners. You know, I'm a very confident person, but I am also incredibly direct. And this is shown up in

3:11both like the workplace and also in my personal relationships. It can be very difficult when I'm faced with conflict or I'm faced with a critical conversation to not get my back up. And by design, I will, the first thing I will do is come out and be defensive. And when you're on the receiving end of that, that's not nice, because what it looks like and what it says to that person is that one, I don't think what they're saying, there is justification for it or two, it can just, it creates this environment of intensity that we don't need to go there. We do not need to surge from zero to 100. So this is a quality that I've really clocked in myself. And particularly as of late, I've really tried to make a conscious effort and actually work with people on this. So I am working with a therapist, I have a therapist outside of work, but also I have like this corporate coach as well that I work with to help me address this. And you know, in my early 20s, I used to think that this was just part of who I am. That was a quality that just came with who I was. And you know, maybe it was something that was inherited or maybe it was

4:12learned behavioural. But now I might at that point in my life and I don't want to, I don't want to be defensive. Yeah. Now. So you were directing your early term mid 20s as well. Do you feel like that's kind of always been like a part of you or? Absolutely. Being a part of me, I think it's also interesting because if people think I'm direct now, holy fuck, if you met me when I was younger, I was like a very, very direct person. And like I would use the word aggressive at times, like I would revert to aggression in a way where it was almost like, I'm trying to think of the word, like a sense of pride or to like even protecting others, like a very protected person, like people around me. So if I thought someone was doing something wrong, whether that be by me or by someone, it would almost be like a virtue signal. Yeah, it like hurts. It's like an emotional reaction too. Yeah. I actually really admire your directness. And it's really interesting because I think sometimes the things that we can find that are maybe like a huge trigger point for ourselves or something we need to work on is something that other people actually, if you like zoom out, it's like, wait, like the way you lead your team, the way you work, the way you

5:14show up to work, we, you know, especially as a woman leading a team too. And I'm sure there's been instances where you have had to have your back up when you're potentially maybe against a straight white nail. Oh, hun. Do you know how many times in my life, particularly in the workplace, I've had to, that has been a positive. And this is the thing like, look, I do agree with you. It is good to be direct. But for me, the way I look at it is it's not good if it's creating tension and if it's creating an environment where other people feel uncomfortable. Yes. And I also like to think about it for what's sake, you know, in the workplace, it's hard because there are times, particularly in the industry that I work in. So for those who don't know, I am the Chief Commercial Officer at Shameless Media. I've got a huge background in media and advertising. And by design, our industry is very male dominated. So, you know, that level of directness and that ability to be able to stand up for myself and walk into a room and command attention is absolutely valuable. And it's something that I really want to entrust my team with and empower

6:15them to have that confidence. Yeah. I'm probably coming at this more so from the perspective of directness is okay if you can justify it in a way where it feels it's constructive. Yeah. And sometimes I don't think I do that. So I don't want to lose it entirely. Of course, I do think it is a strength, but I have to acknowledge that times it can be, it also can be a weakness. Was there a moment when you sort of felt like this might be something I need to work on? Like an example or a day even where you like went home and you thought, maybe I need to sort of like, yeah. There are a few. I think naturally in relationships, it comes up quite a lot because, you know, when you love someone and you've been with them for a very long time, it's very normal to have moments of, you know, you have parts. Yeah. It can get tense. My husband, Lewis and I have an incredible relationship. I feel like I'd done a lot of work before I started dating Louis in being able to soften that surge and not immediately go from zero to a hundred.

7:15I'm not saying it happens all the time and he's going to be listening to us being like, low dulls, sometimes you still do that, but that's fine. But I would say historically that was something that was by default what I would do. So if I was having a disagreement with someone, I would die on the tiniest of hills just to make my point or just to be like, I'm right. Yeah. And that is not something I really want to do anymore. It's good, isn't it, to have like, friends around us or people that play Devils advocate? I feel like the older I'm getting as well. I'm like, I don't want my friends to agree with me. I don't want them to always sit there and be like, yes, like, you know, let's look at it from that angle. I'm like, no, tell me the other side. And like being open to that, like, not even feedback. I don't know if I call it feedback, but just like that discourse because looking back at me my 22, I feel like I was way more stubborn than I am now. Way more stubborn. I also am very lucky that I have a very, very good group of women around me. I actually don't have like a big friendship group of, you know, five or six girls that I went to school with because I've moved around quite a lot. Yeah. You know, I've lived in three different states. I've been in Melbourne for the last 10 years. So this is very much where my

8:18roots are. A lot of my closest friends actually all live in different cities. You know, I've got Rachel in New York. My childhood friend, George Swan's in Sydney. There's so many people in my life that I would say have helped me in that friendship capacity play that devil's advocate but also consider it from other other perspectives because we are similar, but we're also quite different. How did you feel like moving when you were younger and like settling in and in new plays, especially you're working in this industry too because it can be pretty up and down at times and fickle. Yeah, interesting because that isn't my lived experience. I've actually found it quite easy to be able to move to new places. And interestingly, my brother is actually about to move to Sydney. So I'm just going to reflect on a conversation. We had recently, because I asked him, like, how are you feeling about this? You know, this was something that kind of came out of the blur. It's an amazing opportunity. It's super exciting. But, you know, how do you feel? And he was like, I mean, Ray, we've moved around so much over the years that it doesn't feel like as big of a deal as what other it is to other people. And I completely agree with him.

9:22When you do experience that so much and you are used to being uprooted or, you know, moving around or being like quite like malleable in a way. Yeah. It just kind of forms part of your personality. I think by design, I feel very confident and comfortable to be able to walk into a room and make friends. And I also think it's maybe quite intuitive. Do you get good gut reads on people on jobs, situations saying yes, or even know like when you have to make that decision and be like, no, yes, that's all right. That has come from experience in being able to walk through many different rooms and many different scenarios, you know, whether I be going to a new school, having to, you know, start a job and not have any friends or know anyone in the city and be like, I kind of have to force myself on these people. And if I don't, I mean, they're just going to be sitting at home alone. Yeah. You just got to get over the awkward phase. You do. Yeah. So it builds, it builds resilience, definitely. Jury has always been a key part of our style and a way to express ourselves, but some pieces of Jury hold much more meaning. They're not just things we wear, they're symbols of the people,

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11:24Try it today at Starbucks. Looking back at Rhee in her 20s, what emotions come up for you when you think back to like that version of yourself? Yeah, interesting because I think this kind of leads quite nicely into my next lesson, but I would say my early 20s, and again, to quote Sarah McDonnell, I don't want to pull the cart before the horse, but I felt that in my early 20s, I was very feelings led. So I by design would always respond to something with feelings first. As I've gotten older, and as I have more experience, I try and consider things from a more factual perspective. I've been able to nurture the rational side of my brain now, and I find that is the most effective way for me to be one, a better communicator, two, a good leader, and three, a better partner in my relationship as well. Do you want to get into the second one? So your second life lesson is leading with fact or feelings. You need to pick a lane. So sometimes you do choose to lead with feelings. Yeah, I want to know, was there a time when you found it hard to decipher

12:25between facts or feelings and where you ended up going and why? Yeah, I appreciate this might feel like a bit working this child, but I think so many people do follow me trying to understand my career trajectory and my career journey. And, you know, in the workplace, particularly when I was growing up, I was incredibly ambitious. I was very hungry, but I always operated from a place of, I was a little entitled. I will be honest. And I think that came from a place of feelings and thinking that by design, I was doing really well, and therefore I should be rewarded with the most linear form of success, which is promotions. Yeah. And, you know, in my previous role, I feel bad for some of my managers, because I remember just showing up to review meetings, or if I missed out on a promotion, and one time I remember missing out, it sounds very niche, but I'm just going to explain it briefly. So bear with me. So the lesson understands, but

13:25I was an account manager at J.C. Dakota, and there were a few group sales manager positions in the state available, very limited. So when they came up and you were applying for them, you'd have like five account managers applying for one group sale manager role. So it was very competitive. So competitive. And that's just considering the internal competition, not external. So if they were to then bring external candidates in, it would be even more competitive. Now, at this time, I was probably like 25 or 26, and I remember missing out on this opportunity, and I wholeheartedly believed that I should have got that job. Like, with so much conviction to the point where I look back on that now, and I'm like, girl, you did not deserve that job. You were great, and you did a really good job, and you were excellent at what you did. But I didn't have the emotional intelligence to understand that there were also other people in that job who were also really good at what they did. And perhaps for a better leader in the sense, because they could control their emotions, or they could lead a team by actually being able to make people simmer down, not surge them. And I think at that time,

14:30I didn't really see the value in that. I saw the value in, well, I'm outperforming this person, I'm bringing in more money for the business, or I've got really strong external relationships on this particular client pool that this job is going for. Those reasons are great. But if you can't control your emotions and you can't lead a team through stormy waters, instead, you're making it more stormy. That doesn't make you the best person for the job. And I don't think I saw that at that time. It's so interesting, because I think sometimes that rejection, we can take it emotionally. It can feel like a part of our identity is being challenged in that moment, especially working in sales or this creative industry that we're into. If you ever catch yourself, even now, I suppose, two in your feelings when you're making a decision that needs to be factual, what do you do? Is there something you can do in the moment, or is there someone you talk to? Do you have a tangible example? I find it really interesting of like, I get my feelings a lot. So I say this a lot now, and I have to say the uncomfortable

15:33thing out loud. I genuinely now have to say I can feel myself getting my backup, and like, missions are, and I are very good at this. We have a lot of high-level, very intense conversations, and it's just a really great way that missions does have introduced a bit of a formula for us to be able to sit there and sit with our feelings and say, if I'm getting my backup, and what basically happens is it then just diffuses straight away, or we just give it a beat. Now, for me personally, that's something that we do as a collective, but for me personally, not every meeting I'm in, or every room I'm in, I'm with missions are. I have to basically sit there and say, guys, I just need to sit with this for a bit, because I'm not going to give you the best response or the best answer if I'm being pushed to comment on this right now. So for me, the main thing is actually time. The older I've gotten as well, the more I've really challenged this idea that we have to make quick decisions and we have to move quickly, particularly in this business and how we move through the world, nine times out of 10, that is the right thing to do,

16:39but occasionally for me, it's combative with actually getting a really positive outcome for me. Yeah. So if I make that quick decision, or if I'm quick to respond, I'm not going to be effective in how I'm communicating. It might come out a little snarky, and that might not be my intention, or I might not be able to be as solution orientated as I would like to. So for me, it's about just saying the uncomfortable thing out loud and just acknowledging that in the room. So then the people in the room go, oh, okay, Regis needs a beat, or. Yeah. This is like me so insane. Not at all. Not at all, because I think we all have these emotions. I'm sure so many people listening here, even just like in the workplace at work, like we're humans at the end of the day, like we're not showing up as robots. Like we have emotions. So I think like acknowledging them and feeling like in that moment, like you need to take a moment, do you feel as well that you sometimes need time and space like if there's like, you know, an interpersonal conflict in your personal life to like take a beat and have time? Is that important for you? Because now some people need time and space and other people like I just want to address this now. So I 100% need time.

17:41Yeah. I find when I have friends who are very, I need to address this right now, that is like the worst case scenario for me because I'm coming out from a completely different perspective. Fortunately for me, I've got a lot of good friends and, you know, my husband as well. We are all like, as much as I'm sitting here being like, this is the thing that I don't love about myself. We are incredibly self aware. Yes. And we are all incredibly aware of each other's strengths and weaknesses. And when you have those moments of conflict, we can recognize that pretty early on. And if we feel like something's getting tense, it's just calling it out loud. I think in my relationship, Louis and I are actually quite similar. So we're both better at being able to step away. We really have blowups as such in the terms of like explosive fights. And we are more let's just have a conversation about this and work through. But we definitely need to take a beat before we get to that conversation. That's just how I like to show up in general. I need that as well. I think otherwise it is too fast. It can be too quick for me. I haven't processed things

18:43enough. And I need to reflect on myself in that moment. You're so self aware. Not all the time. Do you know what though? I do. I think it comes back to knowing that generally you're going to get the best outcome. And I will consider myself a very solution-oriented person. So my reason and my rationale for wanting to step back is knowing that the general outcome is always going to be better if you give yourself that time and space to reflect and take a beat. Because then you can actually pinpoint why am I annoyed? Yeah. What is this really about? Is it the small thing that's just ticked me off or is it actually running a bit deeper? Is there some out of layer resentment here that I haven't really gotten to the root cause of? So you know, if you're not taking that time to reflect and really sit with your shit to be honest. No, I'm going to get there. We'll get to your final life lesson in one moment. And we'll talk about you and Louis actually. But I wanted to ask how do you, when you're managing a team, like what have you learned about yourself in like a management perspective? Because I find this really interesting with like facts and feelings. You're guiding a team every day and you don't have to talk about

19:43now. I'll like, it could be teams in the past. But what has it taught you about like yourself personally, too? Right now, my team, first of all, I'm obsessed with my team. I am so lucky to work with so many incredibly smart, capable and just driven women. Like I love my girls so much. It's empowering to see. No, it really, really is. And obviously there was a really special moment with Nick, who has been with the shameless media for the last few years. I didn't want to get you emotional. But she finished up with us last week. And I do think those sort of moments as you being her manager and mentor for such a long time and seeing her growth and even with other employees that have left. Yeah. Like that's such a like pivotal moment for you in your own growth and their growth, too. Sorry. I was like a terrible, so I was like, I swear. No, it's actually just that always can happen No, it is. So Nick had been with us for three years or so. She's moving to London. So we've just had

20:43a really lovely relationship and a very, very, just in a work sense when you watch people grow up in a business, it is very exciting to see them go on and live out a dream. And for Nick, that was always moving to London. That was always part of her plan. And I knew that from the moment I called her when we were trying to bring her into the business, which I also think is a lovely thing to have that level of transparency and trust with your team is something that I'm really proud of. And when it comes to the facts and feelings piece with them, just bring it back to your question. When it comes to facts and feelings with my team, every day we are faced with hard conversations or scenarios where we have to navigate, you know, delicacy. It's we've got to protect the values and the integrity of the business. But then we also have to meet a client where they are and perhaps push a little bit to try and get what they want over the line. So it's very important for my team when they are faced with challenging scenarios. And we're unpacking it in real time. And often it's in a web. So one of our regular check-ins and they'll bring something to me being like,

21:46I don't know what to do here or do you think this is the best approach? That's usually when I will say, do you think the best solution for the client and for us is to lead with facts or is it best to lead with feelings because you can really decipher quite quickly what is going to get the best outcome if you do focus on one. If you try and do both, it can get really confusing. And I find that it can be a little bit distracting. You have to be able to tell someone what you're actually trying to achieve at the end of the day. Have you ever got an, I don't know if this is relevant to you guys, but have you ever had a conversation with someone or, you know, received a piece of and it's like a total word style. Jumble. And I'm like, what are you actually trying to say to me? They need. Yeah. Like, that is the directness in me coming out where I'm like, you could sit here and you could say all these things, but at the end, if I can't actually make sense of what you're trying to say, this isn't constructive. And that's what I say to the girls, when I say the girls, I mean the team. That's what I say to my team is, you know, if I get to an end of an email and I can't actually understand what you're trying to tell me, the client's definitely

22:49not going to know. Yeah. So, you know, structure it in a way where it's like, you either lead with the facts being like, these are the headlines. This is why we're doing this or lead with the feelings and it might have to be a bit softer and it might have to be a bit more storytelling led or, you know, bring them on the journey. Like, there are two different approaches you can take, but ultimately the outcome is really clear. Does that make sense? It does. It really, really does. And it's something that maybe I should, you know, I think people listening, we take that on board. A special nickname, your favorite album or a message you want to keep close to your heart. A Pandora in Graveable Charm is the most personal way to tell your story. All you have to do is scroll online or head in store, choose your piece, decide on your message and then adorn a bracelet, necklace, or bag charm with your new relic. Such a special gift for yourself or someone you love and a huge thank you to Pandora for supporting this episode of Inherited. Get in the game with the college branded Venmo debit card.

23:51Record your team with every tap and earn up to 5% cash back with Venmo stash, a new rewards program from Venmo. No monthly fee, no minimum balance, just school pride and spending power. Get in the game and sign up for the Venmo debit card at Venmo.com slash college card. The Venmo master card is issued by the bank court bank NA, select schools available, Venmo stash terms and exclusions apply at Venmo.me slash stash terms max $100 cash back per month. We'll finish with your last life lesson, which is reflection in past relationships. I really, really like this because you told our producers I used to value independence like it was a badge of honor. I actually said once describing a past partner, I don't need him. I want to be with him, which is a fallacy, needing someone is in a weakness. So tell me what this rule means to you and it made me like think a lot this. Yeah, so I went through a scenario where I was in a past relationship and at that point I had been cheated on and I was grappling with this idea of whether or not I stayed with this person ultimately I did because I believed it was

24:53a one time thing. It was a mistake and I remember I was having a conversation with one of my best friends, George Cerudio, her mom and I kept going on about it and was like, you know, obviously I'm still in the thick of it. I was very angry and still grappling with it and we'll just kind of coming to terms with it all. And I remember having this conversation with her and I said, you know, I don't need him. If I stayed with him, it would be because I want to be with him and she stopped me in my tracks and said, well, that's just not true. And I was like, what team she said, I could be paraphrasing here because it's been some time, but so sorry Collar, if this isn't actually what you said, but this is what I heard. We kind of went down the path of challenging this idea that yes, you want to be with someone and yes, that absolutely is a choice and you have, that is a good thing. I choose to be with you because I love you and all these qualities about you. I think for me it was more about trying to break down that wall of vulnerability and be like, it's okay to need someone. And so much in my previous relationships and my early

25:58relationships, I would just die on this hill that I don't need them. I'm super independent. You know, the main way I see in terms of showing up from independence is there was like no cross pollination with our friendship groups in this past relationship. Very separate, very separate. I was very much, I've got my job, I've got my friends, I'm moving through the world as my own, yes, we're together, but we're kind of living two separate lives. And I didn't realize how much of an issue that actually was until I then started to think about, wait, like you don't actually know a lot about this other side of me or my life because I have had my wall up or I've had my guard up and I've worn that as a badge of honor as if to be like, well, my independence is entirely separate of you. Now I don't believe that because my current relationship with my husband, Lewis, and the thing that I've always been most drawn to with him is so much of our life is shared. And I still am very independent. I still have, you know, independent finances. I still have

26:58independent, you know, friendships. And I actively sustain those friendships in my own relationships in a way where it's not co-dependent on Louis. But in saying that we also have a lot of shared experiences, we have a lot of shared friends. I also love spending time with him. And that's so important for a successful romantic relationship. It's crazy to think how much time I actually didn't spend with ex partners. And how much I thought that was normal. I love being with Louis. I get so anxious and stressed, like famously when we were in the US for shameless takes last year, I was staying on for an extra week. And I had one of my friends wedding in Texas, Louis, unfortunately couldn't come over. The girls were leaving me in New York for me to fight a Texas. And I just burst into tears because I was so stressed about being away from Louis for a week. And people will listen to that and be like, that's pathetic. But I'm like, it's not about the fact that I can't travel without him. It's the fact that I just love being with him and being in his

27:59presence. And, you know, my mom always says it to me too. And she said it before we got married. She was like, I've never seen you move with someone like a such a team, you know? Like we're constantly having each other's back. And we're constantly, you know, prioritizing each other. So that's what's made me really reflect on this old, you know, idea or concept of independence. I don't need anyone. Exactly. Like I've really challenged that now because I've found someone who I feel comfortable to be vulnerable with. I love having a shared life with. So I don't think those two things are mutually exclusive to me anymore. I don't think they are either. And I do think that we shit on co-dependency a lot too. Not that you're saying that you guys are. You have like really healthy. You have healthy interdependence in your relationship. And that is like the goal. I love that though. But I do think that as a society, we do shit on co-dependency. I know why that I feel like I am more a master out of like being like, I, you know, want to be alone until I meet someone that really matches my values, yada yada, because I was quite co-dependent in a relationship in my 20s, like the opposite to you. And I feel like I lost myself a little bit.

29:00So like kind of coming out of that. That's what the fear of the balls can come back up. And I suppose for you, when do you feel like you learned to drop the balls down with Louis too when you met him after kind of a tumultuous relationship like that that can take a long time to sort of heal and shed from? It's interesting because I wouldn't say it was just immediately when I met Louis. I do think I had that time of being single, similar to what you've spoken about where I really did have to find myself. And I had to be comfortable with being on my own. And I lived on my own at that time. And that was a hugely formative part of my late 20s was having that independence on my own, but being able to connect with myself again, prioritized my friendships. So when I met Louis, I felt that I had a really strong sense of self. Is that something that you feel like you're in that right now? Yes, definitely. I think that especially the older you get as well, you sort of know what you want and what you don't want. I also like can be perfectionistic. I am a perfectionist, like in many areas of my life. And I know humans aren't perfect either. So you also have to make

30:06room for that. I'm aware of that. But I don't know. I also like have my boundaries and I'm like, well, where do you draw the line? Right? Yeah. It can be difficult. I feel like, you know, this is going to sound so cliche, but when you know, you know, and I think when you are with that person, where say if you do have anxieties or you do feel a bit apprehensive at the start, if you tell them that or you talk to them about it and they say, hey, let's talk this through. Like, I love you. Hello, you're obviously women to be. We're on the same wavelength. Did you feel that with Louis? Definitely. I definitely felt that with Louis. And I've always felt that even if we are misaligned at any point, it's always we're coming back to each other. Yeah. How does he show up for you like in your relationship? Was there a moment when you knew he was different from this? I love these lovely things. Was there a moment where I knew he was different? I would say quite early on in the piece, I found the similar, how similar Louis and I are very attractive. Yes. So how are you? Like, in what ways? Just a really strong values.

31:06Yeah. Very values. That's all I feel like everyone says that you need to have those in line otherwise. Yeah. And even to break it down even further because that can sound like a little bit what's the word like hyperbolic or a bit of a platitude. More so that family is very important to us. Yes. And quite early on, I could see that he had a very strong relationship with both his parents and his sister and likewise. And that was something that I saw as, oh, that means a lot to me. He has strong opinions and he isn't flakable. If Louis believes in something, he has strong values in the sense of what he believes is right or wrong. And I really, really respect that. Particularly because he is not easily influenced by other people. And I find that quite admirable. Yes. He's not like a people pleaser as well. He knows himself. That's attractive when people have that quality in them for sure. Yeah. Historically for me, I am a big personality. I am someone who walks into a room and will very happily move through the room making conversations with everyone.

32:11And really trying to connect with everyone. Louis, the one thing that we differ in is he has a quiet confidence about him. And I know you and I have spoken about this briefly, rubs before. But he can, he's an observer and he will very much create conversations with people. And they will be very deep and meaningful. But he's not someone who will work a room in a way where it feels like he's going to get around to everyone. He might only just really be in the corner with a handful of people. But I know that the people that he's speaking to, he's engaging within a way that's very, very meaningful. But that Yin Yang, it's important. Yeah, it's important. I do think it's important, but I also think it is a little bit of a fallacy to assume that if you're completely different, it would work. Yeah. I think you have to have coming back to your point earlier on your call out around those shared values and alignment. There has to be that. Otherwise, ultimately, that's where I think things fall apart. Yeah. I love your relationship. Not that I know that much about it. But you know, you've had a beautiful wedding last year. That looks like the finest party. You traveled a lot together too. You've lived in Melbourne

33:15together. You've had so much fun. Talk to me about like one of your most enjoyable moments together, like a really adventurous, fun moment you've had with him. Well, no, traveling is definitely the first thing that comes to mind. You know, we've done a lot of travel overseas to Europe. But one thing I will say is that Louis has a family home in country, Victoria, in Yarrow, Wonger. It's about three and a half hours outside of Melbourne. And that I would say is really a happy... Oh, that's all right. No. The funny thing is, you know, you can travel all around the world, go to these amazing places which we've done and we've had the best time and the best laughs and amazing experiences. But, you know, my favorite thing is when Louis and I just decide on a random, we're going to Yarrow Wonger on a random Friday, we jump in the car, we grab our dog bags, it probably ends up taking us an hour and a half longer because we've left in peak hour traffic and just spend the whole weekend there doing nothing except being in each other's company. You know, we do our routine and our things that we would do at home. But there's something about Yarrow Wonger, which people are going to be like, what the hell, this is so random.

34:19No, I get it. But it's just, you know, being there together and like having that connection. It's also the first place he asked me to be his girlfriend, Lowe. Oh, did he? Yeah, I want to take that back to that moment. So I think I always come back to that moment and always feel my most connected to him there. So whether it's like, you know, on Easter, where we all go with families and it's a big, you know, weekend away, that's great. But for me, it's when we're alone there and it's just us and we've got our dog and we're doing our morning walk along, you know, the lake. It's just the most peaceful place and that's those are the memories that I feel like I can't wait to share those with like when we have a family as well. Yeah, what are you most excited about with the future with Lowe? Is that like starting a family too? Because you both have strong family values? Yeah, I think we're both like very excited about that next phase, but also because I've seen, you know, I look, it's the classic family holiday house where you've got law to ceiling photos of all these different life stages of him and his

35:20friends and family friends at all different ages. It's like, what do you call it? Like a collage almost. It's like a timeline of like them all life growing there. And I keep looking at these photos being like, oh my god, I cannot wait to add to this and like to, you know, have that shared experience, you know, if we're able to have a family, but even like our friends having kids and whatever it is, even my family going up there, you know, how much it's been we've been able to, you know, bring our families together. And my niece came up with my sister and my sister's partner Todd and my entire family. And we were just able to spend a whole weekend there together. So that piece, I'm also so excited about. I'm excited for you both too. I want to finish on one question. And it's, who is the read that people might not see every day? Because, you know, you are like really stoic. And, you know, the first two lessons we were talking to as well and like even getting like a bit emotional now. So, you know, without real line on stylish and in business, like, how would you describe her? I would say, I'm glad you used the word

36:22stoic because this does come up a bit. I often have scenarios where people will ask people in my orbit what I'm actually like. And I think that's because by designing a public domain, I do generally have a wall up. I also feel like I do carry a sense of, and not a nigma, but a bit of a, a bit of a wall, which is why I think I struggle on TikTok so much because you have to be the opposite on TikTok to really be able to connect with people. I do like to keep things private and keep distance. I would say the words I would use to describe it, I am quite dry. I feel like I have a very dry. You were so funny though. I don't want to say right now, I'm like, this is so Sagittarius of you to be like private. And I'm like, wait, we're contradicting the first life lesson. Literally, no, I have a very dry sense of humor. And I think that's something that people often surprise by when they get to know me or they're in my orbit. They're like, wait, you're like, kind of funny. I'm like, yeah, I don't take myself as seriously as what I, okay, do you know how I summarize it? I don't take myself as seriously as what you think.

37:24I look like online. No, I think people would go on my Instagram about, oh my god, this bitch, she's like intense. You're very he-ha-ha. I like that, I like that. So there's that. Um, fiercely, fiercely loyal. And again, coming back to Louis, that's like a shared value of ours. My people in my orbit, I am like right or die for. And that's friendships, that's worked, even my team might give anyone crosses at anyone in my team, heaven forbid, I will come for you. All right, thank you for coming on life lessons. How do you feel after the inherited chat? It is obviously different to hopping on stylish and you were a bit nervous. I was nervous too. I get nervous interviewing people that work here. Okay, why? I don't know. I don't know. I feel a bit like, I don't know. I feel like when it's someone I'd like have never met in my life, the states are a bit lower. Yeah, yeah. I think it feels like it's less performative in here if you're working. It feels less performative when you can step in the room, but then also that adds a layer of depth that you're like, hey, wait, we haven't really spoken about this stuff anymore. We're like going

38:26straight there, but I feel good. I feel great. It feels like a little cathodic, weirdly, but yes, very different to stylish. I think on stylish, I'm a little bit more polished, but I've really enjoyed a few tears and a really good chat and a rubes your just very warm and very inviting, and so it's made it, made it feel very good for me. And Vaughn in the corner, giving me little now we've produced some action. No, thank you so much, Marie. Thank you, guys. I really appreciate it. You've been listening to Inherited. If you enjoyed my chat with Reid today, you can follow her on Instagram and TikTok at Reannen Joyce. We're on Instagram and TikTok at Inherited the Pod, and next Tuesday we'll be back with another Inherited interview with Stephanie Browett. Here's a sneak peek of our conversation. After losing them, my mum, of course, held off on a funeral for my sister for a while, because I mean, I hadn't been told straight away. And of

39:29course, she was her main focus was on being there for myself and my dad, and then when we lost dad, of course, that all changed. And then it was, we need to do it with both of them together, of course. And I told my mum that cannot happen without me. I cannot miss their funeral. I would be devastated, and I don't know how I'd live with myself if that took place. But I know that my mum also knew that and would make sure that wouldn't happen. The goal was to be able to walk to the lectern so that I could speak, myself or my sister and my dad. So that was my goal in hospital. And I said, you're holding off on that funeral for as long as we need, as long as I need so that I can make sure I'm able to do that. You know where to find that chat right here in the inherited feed next Tuesday, so I'll see you then.

40:48Shameless media. This podcast was recorded on Verundjeri land always was always will be Aboriginal land. Ultras got a flavor for every vibe and every single one is zero sugar. Tap the banner to learn more.