295. The Sacrifice Trap

#295: In this episode, Sharif asks Kevin to untangle one of the most common mindsets he encounters when coaching people on work: the urge to "just get things done." Kevin argues that this seemingly reasonable attitude is actually a form of anti-fortitude — an effortful suppression of the cost of a task that quietly taxes performance and squeezes meaning out of what we do. Drawing on the acceptance and commitment literature and the neuroscience of the two striatal systems (the free, flexible dorsomedial system versus the rigid, automated dorsolateral system), Kevin shows how pushing through recruits the wrong circuitry, while willingly bearing the cost for love keeps us available, flexible, and capable of real mastery. Sharif and Kevin explore how to tell which mode you're in, why boring and bureaucratic tasks are precisely where ideals matter most, and how contemplation — being "recollected in love" — transforms even the smallest actions. The conversation closes with a first look at the new Golden Hour tool, redesigned around three questions (Who will benefit? What will be hardest? What does excellence look like?) that light up the meaning, effort, and attention engines before a time of work begins.

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