About this episode
In this episode, we explore the belief that if someone truly loved you, they would have changed — and why this story so often keeps people stuck in self-blame, rescuing, and self-abandonment. We look at the saviour complex, how it develops, and why real change has far more to do with timing and capacity than with how lovable or devoted you are.
In this episode, we cover:
- Why “if they loved me, they would’ve changed” is such a convincing story
- How the saviour complex shows up in relationships
- The line between compassion and self-abandonment
- Why people change when they’re ready — not when we love harder
If this resonates, you can register for my free training on healing anxious attachment here.
Get every episode summarized
Each time On Attachment publishes, we email you a written briefing from the transcript — the topics, who appeared, and any specific claims, with the ad reads skipped.
Email me new episodesFree for 3 shows. No card needed.
Hosts & guests
No transcript yet
This episode has not been transcribed. Request it and it moves to the front of the queue.
More episodes
More from On Attachment
#280: Why You Feel Jealous About Your Partner's Past (& How to Navigate It)
On Attachment
#279: When an Old Love Resurfaces and Starts Pulling Away (Ask Steph)
On Attachment
#278: How to Navigate Being Triggered by a Partner's Moodiness
On Attachment
#277: What to Look For in a Long-Term Partner
On Attachment