208. Surprising Differences of Daily Life in Italy

0:00Hi friends and welcome back to our podcast. And for those of you that aren't friends, you're new friends, welcome to our podcast. Welcome back but welcome. I was getting there eventually before we even carry on with this introduction if you hear that little clink of the ice. Yes, it's a long day and so we are recording this with a no-growny that has a big ice cube in it. A couple of big ice cubes, yes. Okay, so hearing on as I was about to say, for those of you who may be listening for the first time, we are Kimberly and Tomaso. Tomaso is a pommeloso. Thank you. And we share all kinds of information to help you learn more about Italy's history, culture,

1:01cuisine and every other little aspect that makes it such a unique country. And you can take away enough details from our episodes to help you enjoy a fascinating and memorable time when you visit. That's the goal. Correct. A punta. No, actually, now that I think about it, we have been chatting away on here on this podcast for almost five years, five years of just heaven. That was snarky and shouldn't be at all because it's been fun, obviously, of course, it is. Of course, it is. He's tired. Okay. Anyway, we launched our first episode, April 13th of 2021, so five years ago next month. Well, that is something to celebrate, so let's plan for a party episode. Good idea. Of course, we said, Massachusetts party. I'm trying to get my Italian diction right, but I'm stuck in my party.

2:07Well, Bernie Day at Tomaso, we can dedicate episode two, ten to our fifth anniversary. And you know what? We could pretend like we're a rock band and release a greatest hits, a greatest hits episode, maybe, or if we had tons of time, which we don't, Tomaso, you could re-release a remastered greatest hits. I've sent out some messaging to make and keep my own edge, and Joe, who's, you choose a sound man, hoping to get some, you know, remastering tips. Excellent. All right. Well, we'll see what happens. Okay. Well, Laura, we have received, since we moved here two months ago, so many texts and emails, messages, Instagram messages, you name it, in the last several weeks, especially. And they have asked us to talk more about our move to Italy, and the common denominator

3:11in all of these messages and emails has been, quote, I'm living vicariously through you guys. Sherry Baker that said that on Spotify. Bravo. One of our long-time fans. Exactly. Thank you, Sher, for listening. Very nice. Well, it is very kind of everyone, but we also at the same time assume that not every listener wants to hear all the minutiae. However, we thought about it, we talked about it, and we decided we can share a bit more of our experience that actually highlights the characteristics and attributes of the Italian people. Because on your next visit, you may notice and appreciate everything we're going to talk about. Correct. Va bene. Correct. Therefore, we will start with the most notable changes in our new life. And some things may seem slightly small or trivial, but they add up to you. Yeah, there's nothing small or trivial. I mean, they fit. Well, there's one thing I'm going to mention later that's pretty trivial.

4:14Well, they may seem small or trivial, but it's a definite look. You lived here for six years. I've never lived here for six years. So this is my first time, longest time I've been in Italy straight, two months. And are you happy? Absolutely. Well, what I was going to say is that these changes in our life add up to distinctly different things in our day to day life. So let's begin with the fact that every single day, and I'm not exaggerating here, every single day, it seems we have a genuine conversation with someone we just met. It's whether it's at the bakery, the people that work there, the bakery, the pharmacy, the hardware store, the elementary, the small little grocery stores every day. And funny enough, this daily interaction, this, Tomazanoi, I have spoken about this

5:16a bit, this daily interaction makes us feel that we're not missing out on the fact that we haven't really made a lot of friends yet, and we actually have made friends with the people who work in these places. Well, that's what I'm trying to say, and we've discussed it, or we did discuss quite a bit before we moved. I mean, I feel like a rock star when I walk in sometimes, because they address you by name. They saved your, your tidia bread in a bag with Tomazanoi and a little heart rate, not that it's some notes to talk about later. Oh, okay. Well, anyway, before we moved, Tomazanoii discussed that we would definitely miss our friends in the US and their dogs, but deep down we knew we would befriend people here eventually. And their dogs. So having this little daily interaction with all the people at the various places, we don't feel lonely at all, because you're greeted by name, and it's genuine, they have smiles

6:20on their face, and you just feel like, wow, this is, this is very different. Yes. And also it's the beginning of the tourist season here, so that the whole of like guard against a massive influx of tourism, we are in that shoulder season, probably, it hasn't quite started. It hasn't quite started. I imagine by the end of the summer, they'd be like grunting, but they'll still like us. They'll still like us, because they know what we've got after all the tourist. Right. Because we're locals now. Right. Well, actually, we as Tomazanoi, we have met a time, and we even had one couple over for dinner, which was a huge success. I mean, it was a big success because we didn't try and make a talent. We made an Asian dinner instead, or Hawaiian, or wherever you want to poke, and we're too nervous to cook for Italians right now. Exactly. I'm intimidated. It seemed like the best bet, because we've seen a bunch of foreign restaurants, so we know

7:21that like foreign food where we are. And that's a good thing. I've seen Chinese. We've seen poke. We've seen tacos. We've seen hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. I tried one of the hamburgers and an English quote unquote, it was like eating a soul of my shoe. Ew. Okay. Let's carry on. Okay. But anyway, every time we enter a store with a no-you-or-not, it's either Buongiorno, Salve. I mean, it's so. Chautamas. It's so pleasant. And maybe that's because we chose a small-ish village to live in. And 99% of the time we hear a chow or Buongiorno when we enter, as I mentioned. And that seems to be the protocol, I guess, to work in a shop. Be nice and greet everyone. And not to knock our own life, but you barely got a grunt when walked into the hardware store where we do it. That was our particular situation. Okay. Well, Home Depot is no different. Exactly. Well, anyway.

8:21Since we've gotten to know all these people that work in the hardware store, for example, actually, let's give this as an example. You can't just walk in if we need a different kind of screwdriver, something without it taking an hour. Because now they know us. They like us. And they continue to ask us questions like, well, what's it like at home to what kind of what are your hardware stores? Like we heard they're big. Well, there aren't big. But you know, the one we go to, it is truly amazing because they know where everything is. And more importantly, they have everything. They have never not had something we've asked for. So that's also incredible. But when we go in there, next thing you know, they're asking stories about your life and your dogs and your family. And it's a fun experience. And I will say that there's a few laughs involved because again, my vocabulary is limited at this point. I know nothing about. Not as limited as my. Exactly.

9:21I know nothing about hardware. The name of a wrench, that kind of thing. So we're learning as we go. And it's fun. And sometimes there's sign language that goes on. But there's one really nice, they're all nice, but there's one nice young guy. And he speaks very good English. And we asked him how we learned how to speak English. And he said, gaming online. And he's very, very good. Alora, here's another example of Italian hospitality or generosity, actually, or both. Last weekend, Tomas and I were walking home from dinner through the, actually, it's right by the drama and a little piazza by the drama. And we saw a couple about our age and they had a border call a puppy. And that puppy just knew he knew we loved. He zeroed in. He did. And he was like laying all over our feet and whimpering and we're chatting and we just, it was awesome. So literally like five minutes into our conversation with this couple and more importantly,

10:25the dog, I decided that we should offer to dogs it if they ever needed it. And they just stared at us and finally he's like, come and see him up. What's your name? I was like, oh, Kimberly and Tomaso. And we had a border callee and we love them. And so that was that. So the woman asked for my number. I didn't have my Italian phone with me. So I gave it to her and we exchanged the numbers. And when we got back that night, I sent her a WhatsApp message saying, it was so nice to meet you guys and your dog. So the next day, I got a text back and she asked us to come to dinner Friday night. Okay. We spoke to this couple for five to ten minutes. We, this was not a tee up to watch the dog. No, it's, we'll give you dinner if you watch the dog. No, well, we found that out later. Yes. Of course we said, yes, right?

11:25Absolutely. Little did we know that they had prepared for us, not a one course, two course, three course, but a four course meal, including another, which I've been told, not really a course, but a salad and bread section, it's not a full course. But there were appetizers of salmon and avocado and this creamy cod fish. Then Venetian squid ink risotto, which is a black risotto, there I am worried about my teeth. I'm going to smile black tea, black squid ink, and then a huge piece of tuna with roasted potatoes. And that looked like it, the tuna looked like it was a small roast, it was so big. And of course, the previously mentioned salad and bread, and finally the most delicious strawberries and blueberries from a region of Basilicata. With dessert, biscotti, and of course, then there were some port and this new liqueur, which I've been introduced to called amaro amaro amaro, braa, I'll get there.

12:30You're learning. Boston. Anyway, oddly, my Italian got better. Drinking port and the more my got worse, I didn't drink the port. I thought after I had a few ports, I thought I understood everything I left for that everybody. Exactly. Well, we were speechless, to be honest, because all that effort and care going into a Friday night meal for strangers, I know that they spoke to for, I'm not exaggerating, 15 minutes tops at 10 o'clock at night in the middle of a square. Well, we thank them as appropriately as we could, but there weren't even really enough words that we could say. No, but we did say in America, we have meals, this involved on Thanksgiving, Christmas, maybe Easter, and they just stared at us like, really, that's it. If we had a dinner party being a pasta in the cocktail, and the thing it was, it was

13:31a Friday night, they both work, I thought, how did they pull this off? But at the same time, their daughter, who's in the end of like the equivalent of high school, and spoke very good English, she wants to be a physician and learn in English. Go to med school with English, yes, brava, but she helped, she cleaned, she was polite, all of them were dressed well, and it was just this spontaneous generosity that was a surprise in a shock, and by no means are we saying that this doesn't happen in America or any other country, because there's friendly and generous people everywhere, but it was our first time having a four-course meal prepared for us by basically strangers. All right, so there's that other characteristic of generosity. And the daughter and the gentleman spoke very good English every time you laughed, I mean,

14:32it was a communal laugh. It was a really, really funny evening, lots of fun, here's the best, best part, I know we're on intention here, but she was trying to correct my Italian, and she said in, in Italian, she goes, that word does not exist, and I said, well, you've made words up in English. I said, it exists when I speak, and with that, she cracked up, it was really, really a funny evening. But let's carry on to another thing that's quite different that we've noticed. And then we go back to my Boston accent, bar, B-A-R, everyone, back culture. Right. Matt Damon, if you need someone for the next movie, I'm available. But the more obvious difference on a new life is this bar culture. A bar here can be a coffee bar in the morning, the mid-Afton espresso bar, and then of course the aperitivo bar, but I'll also mention that in the morning here, you're not judged

15:39while everyone else is having a cappuccino and a coffee, if you have a spritz or glass of white wine, as we saw. Well, that's not seven or eight in the morning, but it's 11 o'clock. It's 11 o'clock. Yeah. You know, when we went to work, it was kind of quirky, but I mean, they're not judged. No, they're not judged. And these bars are basically open all day from morning to night, and the biggest difference is they are not nighttime bars like America. Young Italians will go to a quote-unquote nightclub, but they'll just have one drink and most likely make it last for hours. We've done that at a aperitivo bar with our Italian friends and three hours. And we have one drink. No one is pounding you like, would you like another one, would you like another one or giving you the bell and asking you to? Exactly. Push in. What do you call that phrase? Turning the table. Right. Turn the table. I thought you were waitress once. I was. I was horrible. I guess. Didn't turn the tables.

16:40I got fired, basically, each place. So it's very different from this nighttime scene in America, in oral Australia, or English pubs, but regardless of the time of day and whatever you're drinking, it is a normally lively situation with the baristas chatting to the locals or groupers of older men who are regulars at a few places. It seems they go from one place, from one in coffee, and when they read every Italian newspaper, a lot of the public on 10 out of it. Correa delisana. Yes. I mean, and the funny thing is they're already getting different one, like four guys. They bring their own paper. They bring their own paper. They read it over one espresso. And they exchange the papers, and maybe like two hours later, they'll get a cappuccino maybe, but they read occasionally talk to each other about what they're reading every day. They're very serious. And you know what? I'm just going to share with everybody that Tomazzo secretly wants to be invited to this

17:41one group that goes to our favorite coffee shop here, coffee shop, coffee bar. And these men, well, Tomazzo is at least 25 years younger, but I don't know. If you could learn Italian, they may, they may accept you. I tell you one thing. I know from watching them, they all have opinions. Oh, yes. And if there's one thing I'm not lacking in, it's an opinion. Well, you'd be lacking in it. The way you'll express it. But I'll just. What could go wrong? And this little section by saying that the other day, when we walked up, the quote unquote leader of this one group, Tomazzo wants to join, I got eye contact with him. And a little head nod. We've been recognized because we've been there, right, because we're not over the past two years, two months, no, but also, yes, we've been, yes, that's correct. We've seen him for years. But now we're here every day. So he realizes, oh, they're on a very long.

18:43Occasion, or they live here. And you know, they've probably asked the party still like, who are those Americans? Right. All right. And she and she loves us because we clear on our table. Yes, we bring our own cups up to inside, and every time she's shocked and thanks us. All right. Now, let's move on to another important difference that we've noticed. Italians dress very well. We've known this all along, but here we are in a, just a normal village, holy cow, right? Right. And we must add that all the locals we see at these various bars, they're very well dressed. I mean, there was a guy. He's been like in the group. Yeah, there was a guy that, the guy that we were having a, a cappuccino the other morning walked in casually with a newspaper, he folded under, oh, he was like a model material. He had movies. I saw you scoping him out. Yes. He had, but he had sport coat on and he wasn't, it didn't look like he was going to work.

19:46He wasn't in a rush, but he had a newspaper and very, very well dressed. And the older men here normally were a jack, a dress jacket, a sport coat, which may be old, but it is still a giant well worn. That's right. My little piano jacket I have, I'll be still wearing that in 25 years if I don't gain 30 pounds. But when we first arrived here, most of them were wearing hats and scarves at the end of January. At the end of January, because it was cold and occasionally, for them, it was like the arctic. Right. Right. And for some people, it's still it is even today walking, walking around occasionally one of their wives might stop by for a few minutes to check in on them when they're sitting at the bar. And those women are still wearing fur coats and it has been warm for weeks. Now, we say warm. I mean, I'm from New England, you're from Chicago, you know, warmth to us is like, oh, it's 40 today. Let's put a shirt on. It's tomorrow. It's going to be 67 degrees Fahrenheit.

20:48It's a different mentality. But all these well dressed Italians is why we see so many tailor shops all over. And I can't wait to bring things from home, particularly my suits that I have. I'm not going to wear them much. But when I do wear them, they'll be fitted much better than they are. They're mostly Italian suits. And this is a noticeable difference from us as well, because there's no one who tithers the more tailors in America. Well, there are like in New York City and Boston or Chicago. But also, what else do we see here? Cobblers. Shoes repair. The one that we pass daily, basically, we pass it every day because we have to buy food every day. Right. Inside of that teeny little shop looks like he could repair any single type of shoe that you would bring in. But all right. So finishing up on well dressed Italians, I listen to a podcast the other day where an Italian fashion designer, a man, explained the satisfaction of dressing nicely as he put it.

21:52He said they take great pride in the fact that what they're wearing has been made in Italy. He also said that beauty is a cultural element that they have all grown up with. He summarized this mindset of Italian dressing well with something along the lines of, quote, think of all the beauty in Italian design. Our automobiles, our fashion, furniture design, architecture, even our food. He said it's a culture of beauty and how we dress reflects that. That says it all. Isn't that great? Going back to the food I mentioned this before, don't ever eat anything you wouldn't paint. I now, myself, am much more mindful of what I wear when we go out and I'm happy to dress up a bit more than I did at home, get out of the jeans and a t-shirt and a, you know, a... Please do wear jeans, but you're wearing. You have indeed up to your game and...

22:54I'm wearing swayed loafers with my jeans. Exactly. And I need to do the same whenever my clothes arrive. Oh. Right. Or just go shopping. But you look very, very nice and I think people notice. And he got his haircut. It was way too long. It was like shoulder lengths. That was a long time ago. Dude, you got it cut right before we came here. Like I said, there was a long time ago. I look like I looked like I just... I just got out of doing 10 to 20 for cocaine trafficking. We had to have photos taken for our international drivers license. I think you mentioned this. And we showed it. Did I? We showed it to the guy at the car rental place and we all burst out laughing. Tom's like, I just got out. All right. Let's move on to a different subject that this is what I meant at the beginning. And they seem a bit frivolous, but it highlights Italian's dedication to something I love. And that is Parmigiano.

23:54I can now eat unbelievably delicious Parmigiano every single day if I want to. It is. There hasn't been a day that you haven't watered too. I know. I think I've never met every day. There's nothing wrong with it. Nothing wrong with a taste. Oh, good. It is so much better than what we can get in the United States even in New York City. When I live there, I would go to the best Italian markets to get it. There's a place in Boston, a place in Providence. I'm sorry, no offense. I know they import it, but they're not importing this stuff that we get here. No. And now we go to the outdoor market every week. I now go to the same man and he doesn't know my name, but he does greet me. I said, OK, we're ready for another one. And then he shows me this slice that weighs 30 pounds. I'm like, no, that's a little big. I know. Talk about size. The one you brought home. I know. You know, I mean, if we went to whole food check, it would whole food.

24:55Whole foods, you know, it would be $80. Maybe like, how do you want to pay for this over 30, 60 or 90 days anyway? It is so delicious. It's so much less expensive. And it's a huge, daily difference to know. The best Parmesan cheese I've ever had is in our refrigerator or frigorifero, as it's called. For any time we want it, which is basically, as you mentioned, every single day. So this really small pleasure makes me incredibly happy. And yours do you have something that's a daily happy, I have a list, I have a list. I think we're going to run out or so just no, but I'm just going to say one thing at the happy pill. You know, you moved somewhere at a certain age and you think about how you're going to be here. This could be the last place we live. Who knows? But there's a good chance it could be. I really enjoy seeing the old people walking around. And I the other day took photographs of older women talking with younger women, one woman

26:02had a walker, one woman had a cane. And these, they were late 80s, maybe mid 90s, I don't know, but they were gabbling away like they were best friends. And there's a certain element of respect for elderly people. Oh, huge. And that's right for me is like, okay, this is, this is good. By the way, I'm not quite that old yet, but still watching how they interact with people and particularly going back to like the hardware store, how they're the two young guys interact with us there. Oh, yeah. It's great. And they're in their early 20s. We saw them both walking home for lunch the other day. I know. And we had a chat like walking two blocks with them. We're like, bon appetito. See you later. That's right. So that's one of the things that's really struck me about being here is a, the respect and be the intergenerational communication and two friends, doesn't matter if they're separated by 30 of 40 years on the street, having a chat.

27:05But you know what, those older people, they're walking up and down these hills, stone steps, uneven steps, and maybe that is why they're still able to do that. So that just gives us some incentive to keep being active, physical, even just a plain walk. Can we carry on now? Sure. Or was your list over? Not really. Not really. But we've got plenty more episodes to get. Okay. Fine. All right. Finally, before we talk about the current events that could potentially impact your spring or summer travel, we also want to highlight a difference that we've picked up on as well. And that is that most of these Italians we meet are very interested to know why we moved here, especially the younger people because they can't wrap their hands around. Why would we would leave America because that's their goal, right? They want to move to America. And I will say that they want to at least want to go there.

28:08Yes. Not necessarily move there. Most of them have said we've always wanted to live in America. Okay. And there may be 25 if that, but that's been their goal. So our answer each time we're asked this, why did you move here? Our answer is the same each time because it's true. And that is that Tom also always wanted to live in Europe and I always wanted to return. It's as simple as that. But from our own personal travels both together or even before we knew each other, we both appreciate what other countries and their cultures offer. And to be honest, Italy just always checked the most boxes for us. So when we're chatting with these Italians, ask us this question. The conversation morphs into a comparison of what does your country have, what does that country have? Oh, we have Australian friends that love this, that, etc. But in the end, these subjects go from, they cover everything from O education.

29:14We heard you have to pay for college in the United States, something like that or healthcare or the younger people are like, what kind of cars do you have and how much do they cost? And most importantly, can you buy Nutella in America instead of just shocking, shocking, shocking to me. He doesn't like it, but it's the biggest thing here. It's the biggest thing a lot of place. We have a Danish friend and I know and he eats Nutella like it's, like it's, he breathes Nutella, like he needs it to live. You know, you're in a super tangent that no one cares about. Okay. Well, if you like Nutella, you do. I'm going to carry on with this little summary and I wanted to share. I get off of the fence. Okay. This is going to be a long episode due to our tangents because we're having a negroni. The Italians that we have spoken to about this, the younger ones, they just want to go to America and they think they can make more money there, which you can.

30:16However, the Italians we've met and spoken to about this, let's say 33, five years or older or so, they seem very satisfied with their lives. And when we ask why they say, oh, we have excellent school, even starting with nursery school, they can go all the way through university with as many degrees as they want. And they're happy with the healthcare system. They say there's a few annoyances, but overall, they're happy with it. And for the most part, this was my favorite. For the most part, they think that things run efficiently here, but the ones that don't run efficiently, they say, aion, propio, disaster, or we're also in the North. So things are going to be more efficient up here. Just the word disaster. Right. You can all figure that out. And they're very, you know, emotional about that aion disaster, but they all admit they have their problems like any other country.

31:16But in the end, it's a good place to live. That's what they say quote unquote, and they all think the Italian cuisine is best in the world. And I'm sort of up there with them on that subject. There's no doubt about that. Even to the point of we're buying fresh pasta just for an average night, like last night, we bought fresh pasta and had it. And it just makes a world of difference. And it was so inexpensive and it was so inexpensive and it was wonderful. In soma, as you know, I'm getting a little bit fluent in soma, right? In soma. You have to give it this kind of inflection, okay? In soma. Alora. In soma. Bravo. In soma. Bravo. These conversations make us think that overall that Italians are happy with their lives. And perhaps that's why we are the lucky beneficiaries of their friendliness. Exactly. And that makes us feel very, very good about our decision to choose, to move where we

32:20did. Apunta. All right. Very well said. Alora. Let's briefly mention the elephant in the room. And that is what could potentially happen with travel to and from Europe during this, can I say, horrible war in the Middle East. And since we're here, we have a little bit more knowledge or we can see more, read more, et cetera. So Europe has issued a level two travel advisory. Yet some countries like Cyprus in particular is under level three, which suggests you totally reconsider traveling there altogether. So for those of you who have planned vacations to Italy or Europe in general, and if you have flights already for this spring and summer to Italy, be aware. This is multi-importante. Be aware that most travel insurance companies have a, quote, war exclusion clause, sadly.

33:24Also if you choose to go on your trip to any country or region that your country, your home country, has issued a warning against traveling there, that insurance, travel insurance policy you have will be completely avoided. So regardless of where you live, most countries offer an alert system for people traveling overseas during a situation like this or all year long, like Tomazone, I have been part of the step program from America, which stands for Smart Traveler Enrollment Program. So we receive emails all the time, not too many emails, but when there's a, an event, an event when there is a, a level raised or something, but even just stating that there is a gathering in Rome for a protest. Exactly. So I recommend that you sign up for whatever your country has if you're going to come to Italy during this spring or summer.

34:26And in the end, we all hope that this situation in the Middle East ceases as soon as possible so that you can, not just for the sake that you can travel, but obviously solely for the sake of peace or Pace, as it's called in Italian. Ebasa Michi, thank you for listening to and actually thank you for all the congratulatory messages and emails and tax and even those people that told us quote unquote how jealous they are of our move. And one comment on an Instagram post I made noted her frustration of quote being left behind. So also let's do a quick shout out to our old neighbors, Tom and Nicole, who put a post on Spotify complimenting our last few episodes and mentioning that they miss our laughter. Tom is a career military individual and they love Europe and we've been touched with them. They live next to us for a year or two years.

35:28Yep. When he was at the war college in Newport and Tom, thanks very much. It's wonderful to stay in touch with old friends. Right, but since they mentioned our laughter, why don't we just end this episode, this very long rambling episode with laughter is the best medicine as they say, especially during times like these. So let's keep it up. If can't have laughter, have a new granny. Thank you. Thank you. It was good. Thank you. Thank you. Ciao, ciao. Ciao, ciao. That was good.