184. The Neutrality of Others

What if the person you have been struggling with is actually neutral  and you have been the one writing the story?
In this opening episode of a four-part June series, we introduce what may be the most freeing concept in any relational life: the neutrality of others. Other people are not the source of your suffering. Their behavior is neutral. It is your thoughts about that behavior, running on a loop inside your own mind, that create the relationship you are having with them.
Once you understand this all the way down, the entire location of your work changes. You stop trying to fix the relationship from the outside. You stop waiting on the other person to change. You stop hosting your emotional life on someone else's behavior. You come home.
This episode covers three concepts that, when fully understood, change every relationship you have:

1. People are neutral. Your thoughts about them create the relationship.
2. Lovability is a birthright. The variable is capacity.
3. Take care of your own needs first. Everything else is a bonus.

Leah brings personal stories, the coaching lens she has used with thousands of clients, and a practice you can begin this week ... pick one person, do the work, and watch what happens to you. The other person never has to change a thing.
This is week one of four. The relationship you most want to repair, deepen, or release is on the other side of this work.

You are 100% lovable. So are they. Worth is a birthright. The work is the love.