1712 || keep me kind

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Welcome to the Make Your Damn Bed Podcast. A daily motivation podcast

designed to help you get out of bed every morning with a little company from me,

Julie America. If you struggle with consistency, let's build a little momentum together,

whether you make your bed or not. Good morning sunshine. Welcome to another day

of the Make Your Damn Bed Podcast. In the show notes today, I've included one more clip from

Professor Zhang, who said, the only way out of this is for us as individuals

to recognize their connection to the higher consciousness, to connect to the connection between

all of us, and reject the reality that's being presented to us that isn't working.

So the money, the materialism, and to reject status, and say that what matters to me is my own creativity.

What matters to me is my impact on others around me, my generosity, my compassion, my openness,

because by acting with generosity, I change the world for the better. And that's the true secret,

according to Professor Zhang. He goes on to reference the theory about a holographic universe,

or the theory that the entire universe is actually just reflected in us.

And so we actually do have the capacity to change the world for the better or for the worse

through our individual actions. Once we embrace our unique individuality, once we embrace the

power of our consciousness, and once we understand our own responsibility to the universe,

then we have to participate in the world in a way that benefits everyone.

And I think that keyword of participate is so valuable, especially in where I'm at right now.

I sometimes feel incapacitated with what I should do next, or what move I should make, or

how I can help. But I realized if I just start participating as much as I can right now from where I'm

at, those things start to grow into bigger things. I hear about more events as I'm at events,

and I'm able to do more impact once I figure out what impact is needed.

But I can't find that stuff out if I don't actually start to participate.

But actually convincing myself to participate is not easy work. And sometimes it's harder because

of the content I'm consuming or the things that I'm doing with my current time. And in those

circumstances, I really do try to reframe what participation looks like. Participation sometimes

looks like redirecting my sorrow from the pity party into a more actionable thing, or redirecting

my attention from the internet that is keeping me really, really stuck into a more creative project

that can allow some more energy to flow so I can move on to bigger and more impactful moves.

So sometimes participating just means taking care of yourself because you're at a place where

a lot of things are going on and you don't have as much control in your day to day life.

Sometimes it means crashing out so you can move on because that's part of your process.

Sometimes participation means just regaining and reclaiming your consciousness, your agency,

your sense of control, where other days participation might be more impactful,

more meaningful, and more focused on others. I want to quote Ash Hansen here who says,

let's break apart, re, and pair. There's a re-uniting here. And even if that re-uniting looks

different than it did before, it means re-establishing a sense of trust and a sense of belonging and

accountability. As Anna Clausen, the founder of Voices for Rural Resilience, puts it,

repair remains active. We cannot think of it as an act that will one day be done. And to me,

that's the thesis. This is an ongoing process. Some days you will be focused simply on survival.

Many days will be focused just on that. But as often as possible in this process,

try to become more embodied, more aligned with who you want to be, your value system,

so that you can have confidence in the decisions you make, not just when you're low on energy,

but as you gain more. Though a lot of people don't have any excess time,

don't have any excess resources or money or anything else to spare other than basic survival,

there are a lot of us who are more conscious and do have a little more time, but feel stuck.

For those people, the people like me, it might be helpful to remember that momentum builds upon

itself. The more you start, the more you'll be capable to do in the future. Typically, with certain

energies, especially like creative energy or connected energy to the community, those types of

energy typically do have an infinite well. And when you start tapping into it, you'll see how

quickly and easily it flows once you get the hang of tapping into it. And personally, I have been

trying to get better at blaming the world's problems and my personal problems on the systems

that created it, not the people around me. And one way I've been doing this is by getting back

to the basics, by learning how to identify which of my emotions and feelings are legitimate

communications versus my more paranoid rumination. Because I have a habit of letting my shame turn

me into a victim that has an excuse not to try anymore. And so I've been trying to pay attention

to my grief. When is it real, genuine, valid grief that deserves a crash out? And when is it

an excuse to not have to crash out? There's a Laura Jean Truman quote I found that says,

keep our anger from becoming meanness, keep our sorrow from collapsing into self-pity,

keep our hearts soft enough to keep breathing, keep our outrage turned towards justice, not

cruelty, and remind us that all of this, every bit of it is for love, so keep us fiercely kind.

And I feel like this poem means a lot to me for several reasons, but specifically,

because I'm learning that sometimes when I'm angry, I need to crash out and then I need to vent

about it and then I need to bitch about it and then I need to write about it and then I need to

crash out again and then I feel better. And it's all part of my process. But when I wallow in

self-pity or shame about the way I handled it, it doesn't allow me to actually get better in my

handling at next time. And it recenters my experience instead of the accountability I need to take

by apologizing to whoever I crashed out on or whatever the case may be. And though I am getting

better at not crashing out on people, I am realizing that I shouldn't feel bad when I need a good

crash out. It is a sense of catharsis and I think we've lost it. Babies throw temper tantrums,

people shake and scream and kick and take dance classes and start gym memberships because of

their anger and their rage and they need a good place to place it. If you don't give yourself a

place to put your feelings, your big feelings, you will be overwhelmed when they keep showing up.

And we need to prepare for those feelings to show up because it shows you still have them.

It is devastating right now to be a person with empathy. But I am so fucking grateful that you do.

I am so grateful that you have a heart that can be broken. I hate knowing that it might be.

I hate that we live in a world that continues to do it to all of us. But I am so pleasantly surprised

that trillions of dollars of propaganda, generations of brainwashing, thousands of years of systemic

violence trying to force this upon us did not do it. They want you bitter and desperate or apathetic

and tapped out. Either way, they don't want you tapped in. So every time you have a big feeling

and feel bad about it, remember that is a valuable form of resistance. In fact, it's a critical

first step in connecting with our humanity, which is exactly what they're trying to keep us from

doing. Don't shame yourself. If you fucking had a crash out, your rage, your anger, your grief,

your pity, your sorrow, all of it is valid and necessary and human. And we need you to be human.

We need you to take accountability when you fuck up. But if your form of accountability

leads to more self-pity, more shame, more feelings of remorse and regret and deep self-flagulation,

then you're probably not on the right track. You can't be accountable for yourself if you're

centering yourself in the process. You just need to show up as best you can in any given moment

and not be so hard on yourself if what your best is or what your capabilities are very or change.

Do not center yourself, but center your humanity. Center the humanity of the people around you.

And that means allowing people to be imperfect. And when I say people, that includes yourself.

As always, you can access all of the references and resources we use today and the show notes

if you're interested. In the meantime, just know I love you so much. I hope you have a wonderful

rest of your day and I will talk to you tomorrow while you make your damn bed. Good bye, cutie.

Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of the Make Your Damn Bed podcast.

Don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss tomorrow's episode. You can follow on Instagram

and TikTok at NYDB podcast for occasional updates. And if you could rate and review this

episode five stars wherever you're listening, it genuinely helps the podcast at its core.

And if you have anyone in your life you think might be interested in hearing what I have had to say,

it also makes a huge difference in the sustainability and my ability to make this something worth

sharing. So if you have questions or want specific advice, you can email me at

nydbpodcast at gmail.com. In the meantime, I've been your host Julie America. I hope you have a

wonderful rest of your day and I'll talk to you tomorrow while you make your damn bed.

With no fees or minimums on checking accounts, it's no wonder the Capital One bank guy is so

passionate about banking with Capital One. If he were here, he wouldn't just tell you about

no fees or minimums. He'd also talk about how most Capital One cafes are open seven days a week

to assist with your banking needs. Yep, even on weekends, it's pretty much all he talks about

in a good way. What's in your wallet? Terms apply. See Capital One.com slash bank Capital One

NA member FDIC. Over 90 of the top 100 US accounting firms trust Bill to simplify and secure Bill

Pay. That's proven financial infrastructure built on over a trillion dollars of secure payments.

Visit bill.com slash proven for a special offer.

Has the news been getting you down? I'm Megan McCartle and I'm here to help.

I'm the host of a news show from Washington Post Opinion called reasonably optimistic

and it's an antidote to the pessimism that's riddling America right now. Every Wednesday I'm

going to talk to people who see a path forward. It does seem to me that there is some awakening

of a desire to act together to solve problems where they are. Now I am a believer in America and

it's worth fighting for. Join me Wednesdays on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts.