112. I’m Pregnant. And I Refuse to Disappear.

0:00Can I still trust myself when my capacity changes? Can I still be ambitious without constantly producing? Can I build a massive vision without requiring myself to operate at maximum capacity every single day? That's a different muscle, one that feels weak for me. And weirdly, I think it's making me, I know it's making me a better business owner. Welcome to the Six Figure Dula podcast for the Dulas with boots on the ground doing the work supporting families who are ready to build real wealth doing it. If you want more clients and predictable income sustainable growth, 10K months on repeat without sacrificing yourself in your family, you're in the right place. We're talking sales, visibility, money, leadership and building a Dula business that supports your family just as powerfully as you support everyone else's. Let's build your Six Figure Dula business.

1:01I have been thinking about how I wanted to start this episode for probably like two weeks and every version sounded just not me like two polished and packaged too much like a pregnancy announcement. And this is not a pregnancy announcement to me like this feels like I am standing at the beginning of an entirely new chapter of my life. And I don't even fully know who I'm going to be on the other side of it yet. That's wild. So I think I'm just going to say it. I'm pregnant. We're having a baby and even saying that out loud feels so damn surreal because this has not been an uncomplicated journey. Okay. This is my fifth pregnancy. And if you've been following my story for a while, you know that nothing about this journey has been simply simple. You know, it started with a spontaneous miscarriage and then an incredible baby earth side and two back to back missed miscarriages. And now this babe.

2:02So there is joy. There is so much joy, but there's also a lot of fear and there's grief and there are moments where I feel so incredibly connected to this little guy or girl. And moments where I almost don't let myself go there because I know what it feels like to have the future you imagined just disappear out of the air. And I've had so many people say like, do you think it's a boy? Do you think it's a girl? Like what's your, you know, intuition telling you and honestly, I haven't really let myself go there. You know, pregnancy after loss. It's weird like that. You can be so wildly grateful and absolutely terrified in the same five minute period, you know, seeing a heartbeat on a screen and sobbing with relief and then waking up the next morning and see spotting and feeling like your whole world is crashing. You can start imagining the nursery, even though it doesn't freaking matter.

3:04And then almost mentally slap yourself in the face for getting too far ahead. It is joy with an asterisks. I can't say that word joy with an asterisk. And so it's like it's hope, but a history is attached to that. And and basically I'm coming here. So real and so raw. I didn't script this because I wanted it to flow. And inevitably it's probably going to sound and feel scattered, but that's also how my brain and my heart feel these days. I don't want to spend this pregnancy pretending that things are perfect. It's one of the reasons that I decided to record this episode in this way because I've made a decision about the next six plus month of my life. And I absolutely refuse to produce a highlight reel for y'all. I do not want to show you the cute bump picks on their own and the successful launch and the growing business and the gorgeous family.

4:07And then you know, edit things out. I truly want to show you what's happening between those moments. I want to show you what building both looks like for Lisa V. No one else but for me. So I mean building a business while building a baby. I mean building my incredible family and wealth and a team week. And the next version of myself and the next version of six figure Jula and sometimes doing all of that while tired AF. And and I don't feel particularly inspired certain days. So I want to talk about that. I want to talk about what that means for me and what that's going to look like here. Because something really unexpected has happened since becoming pregnant. I really, really thought I had this figured out like I thought pregnancy was going to make me want to pull back.

5:08And in some ways it has, you know, my body is definitely asking more of me. My energy is not what it is normally, which is a hard swallow for me. I'll admit it. There are days where I genuinely don't have it. I don't have the energy. But I got to talk about my ambition for a second. My ambition holy shit. My ambition has skyrocketed. There's nothing frantic about it. It's not because I have to like prove something in some weird way like maybe in the past. It's almost the opposite. It is like the most hyper focused ambition I've ever had. There is a clarity. I can't even explain if I tried. And I don't want more for the sake of more. So I got to say that I really want to build the right things right now. I want to stop wasting my time on anything that doesn't align with that. There is another part of this pregnancy that I wasn't sure I was going to talk about publicly.

6:08But if I'm going to tell you I'm giving you the whole truth, like the real version. And I can't conveniently, you know, leave certain things out. So I'm going to basically just like bring dump here. The things that have kind of popped up over the last few months for me while I've been in like my quiet intentional cocoon of kind of reserving this news. If you will and kind of navigating what that first trimester needed to look like for me. So I want to talk about like my history for a minute because I think it's very relative. So I'm going to bring out my eating disorder. Like this is something that I've done a whole lot of work around a whole big chunk of my life. Like a lot of work in recovery. And one of the things that I was not prepared for was how quickly something seemingly innocent could open a door that I thought was so firmly closed. So I started working with a natural path after my losses.

7:13And one of the recommendations was removing gluten and dairy. And listen, I totally understand why the recommendation was made. So let me just say that this story is going to show a bigger lesson. It's not to put down the natural path or say any specific statements around like eliminating those things. Like that's not what this is about. So it's not about blaming anyone or saying that that recommendation itself wasn't inherently wrong. It's about what it did inside of my brain. And that's what I want to talk about because suddenly I wasn't just eating. I was retreating back to analyzing and dissecting labels and doing research and questioning ingredients and thinking about what was deemed good and bad as far as the food that went into my mouth. You know, what do I need to be removing and what shouldn't I eat? And before I really understood what was happening, I was down a rabbit hole.

8:17And it scared me like really bad because all of a sudden I recognize that feeling, that obsessive little voice, that false sense of control, that feeling of being quote good because you're following the rules, which I am really good at if I put my mind to it. And I remember realizing, oh my God. This is getting really dangerous for me. And I actually almost couldn't pull myself out, which was terrifying on its own because here I am growing a baby, wanting more than anything to protect and nourish this pregnancy and something that started from a desire to do everything right was quietly pulling me towards something that I thought so hard to get away from. And that was really humbling. And it reminded me that healing doesn't necessarily mean something can never touch you again. And so I want to bring up the bigger picture of perfectionism. Because healing sometimes means that you can recognize it faster or that you can tell the truth to yourself sooner or the truth to others sooner or that you stop returning that you're just fine and get yourself back to safety.

9:28But there's there's such a lesson in this for me because pregnancy and we know this is what happens, right? Pregnancy exposes the places where I still reach for control when I feel afraid. And and loss will do that to you, disordered eating will do that to you, trauma will do that to you. If I just eat perfect, if I take the right supplements, if I don't do this and I do more of that and I follow every single rule perfectly, maybe I can guarantee the outcome, but I can't. And that is one of the hardest things that I'm sitting with right now. There are things that I can influence for sure. There are choices I can make, ways I can take care of myself, but I cannot control everything. And I refuse to sacrifice myself trying. That's the difference. That's the growth. You know, and and then there's my energy. I want to talk about my energy. I told you this is going to feel scattered.

10:30Holy hell, I don't know what version of pregnancy I remembered from having my son, Anzo, but apparently I edited some shit out as we do. Because the low energy has been again humbling. There are days where my brain is absolutely screaming. Go, Alisa, create, build, do the thing. And then my body is like absolutely freaking not. Sit your butt down. And that has forced me into a really interesting relationship with productivity. Because I have built a lot of my identity around being someone who follows through. Talk about this all the time. I show up. I figure things out. I work. And now I'm actually at, you know, stuck asking myself. Can I still trust myself when my capacity changes? Can I still be ambitious without constantly producing? Can I build a massive vision without requiring myself to operate at maximum capacity every single day?

11:31That's a different muscle. One that feels weak for me. And weirdly, I think it's making me, I know it's making me a better business owner. I'm becoming ruthless about depth, cutting away fluff left and right, looking at things in my business and asking, why are we doing this? Does this matter? Does this create a result? Is this moving someone forward? Is it making a profit? Does this serve my clients better? Or have we just been doing it this way because that's what we've always freaking done or someone said that was the way to do it? And if that answer is not good enough, it's getting cut. I actually even had to release a client recently. That was hard. And it's not because I don't give a shit. I don't care. Actually, it's because I care deeply. But there comes a point where support can turn into carrying. And I don't want to carry someone else's business more than they're willing to carry it themselves.

12:32So I know my mantra after so much deep reflection is that I can coach and I can challenge and give feedback, show you the gap, teach you how to sell, help you build the strategy, hold you through the inevitable discomfort, but I cannot do the work for you. And I'll tell you, full disclosure, an older version of me would have kept trying. I'm just going to give more of myself, check in more, more time, more resources. But the truth is I can't create the outcome for her. So this version of me doesn't believe that anymore. Does not believe that if I just give enough, I can create the outcome for her depth does not mean doing everything for someone. Depth means having the courage to tell her the truth. And loving someone means refusing to participate in a dynamic that isn't serving either one of you. And that decision clarified something really big for me. Like, I don't want to build

13:38the biggest coaching business possible, but I do want to build the deepest one. Fewer gimmicks. Okay, I'm throwing less at my clients. I'm removing the amount of information. And I'm doing more coaching that requires more implementation and accountability. I want to teach the skills so that you don't have to rely on me. I'm giving more truth because I want these women in my world to move. And at the same time that I am sitting here, cutting things away, I'm investing in more support than ever before. And that is terrifying in its own way. Like I hired someone to help me produce new content. And I know that sounds like a normal business decision. It did not feel like one to me because my content has always felt incredibly personal. Right? It's it's my I can't be the only one. It's my voice. It's my ideas. It's my face. It's my history and stories. My weird thoughts at one in the morning.

14:43And there's a part of me that associates letting someone into that process with losing control over it. What if it doesn't sound like me? What if people can tell? What if I spend this money and it doesn't work? What if I should just do it myself? And then I had to confront this thing like I cannot simultaneously say that I want to build a business that supports my life, but it insists that my hand needs to touch every freaking part of it. Those don't work together. That is a reality once you hit a certain level. I don't want to build a business that can only thrive when Lisa V has unlimited energy. Because Lisa is about to have a baby and sure he has a toddler and a husband and a family and a body and a life and apparently Lisa occasionally needs to sleep. So I am learning to let people help me build this, but in a way that is so incredibly authentic. It's still uncomfortable though and it's still necessary. And then there was this night recently. And again, I know I'm jumping all over the place, but that's just how this episode is going to fly.

15:49I couldn't sleep. I blame pregnancy and somnia. I swear, and please validate me if this is anyone else's experience, but it's like I'm either dead to the world, like getting a 95 sleep score with some super crazy deep sleep and restoration. Or I'm wide awake. There is no in between these days. And my brain was going a million miles an hour. So I had this idea. And instead of going back to bed, like a normal person and closing my eyes and at least getting rest, I built an entire effing master class. I spent about eight hours from start to finish and I basically just disappeared into it. And when I came out on the other side, I knew. This is it. This is the thing that I've been trying to articulate for quite some time. So not just a free training where I'm going to throw like 75 new tactics at you and send you on your way to figure it out on your own. This master class represents the direction that I believe my entire business is moving. And I want to bring as many tools with me as possible.

16:59Because the more I coached to us, the more convinced I become that most of you do not need more random ideas. You need to understand how clients actually move toward the yes. How do you create your own demand before someone ever gets on a consultation call with you? How do you start more conversations with the right families? How do you presell through the inquiry experience? How do you lead a consultation instead of being interviewed during one? How do you handle? I need to talk to my partner. That's outside of our budget. Now is not the right time. How do you follow up without feeling annoying? And how do you stop sitting around waiting for referrals and actually create your own rooms? Your own experiences and containers. Those are the skills. Skills are what change businesses. And that's why this master class feels like a tipping point for me because it is truly the culmination of what I've been seeing over and over and over again.

18:07No more fluff. That is not what do a Liz need. You need depth. You need to know how to sell and how to sell well and with confidence. You need to know how to do it without becoming someone that you hate. And maybe that's why this pregnancy in this master class feel weirdly connected to me. You know, because pregnancy is given me a deadline. I'm just going to say it out loud. There is an actual date on the calendar. This baby is coming. I cannot negotiate with that deadline. And suddenly I'm looking at my business so differently. What needs to exist before that time? What needs to disappear? What needs to be delegated? What needs to make money? What needs to work without my hand in it? What deserves my energy and what doesn't anymore? And I wonder how different our businesses would look if we operated with that level of clarity. Not panic and hustle. Okay, that's my old life. But clarity. What if you stopped assuming that you have forever?

19:15What would you build then? What would you finally learn and master? What conversation would you start without hesitation? What would you stop tolerating? What would you sell or ask for that sale? What would you finally decide you are all in on? Because this pregnancy is teaching me that I don't want to spend my life waiting for the perfect season to want what I want. I want to be an incredible mother who is present. I want the slow mornings. I want babies on my chest while I'm on Zoom calls. I want the family dinners. I want to be there. And I want massive freaking impact. And I want wealth. And I want to employ people and to create and teach. And I want to build something I love. And I want to see how far this vision can go. And I absolutely without a doubt refused to believe one of those desires invalidates the other. And I know that's going to turn people off.

20:16But I refuse to shrink my ambition to prove my devotion as a mother. And I also refuse to sacrifice my motherhood at the altar of my ambition, because I want both. And I'm not saying that I'll be able to balance them perfectly. I think that's actually a crock. I can guarantee that I won't. There will probably be weeks where business gets more of me. And weeks where my family gets all of me. And there will be things that don't get done in decisions. I change my mind about along the way and lots of tears and mistakes. Good. Because I'm going to show you all of that. So that's my commitment to you for the next six plus months. I'm taking you behind the scenes. Not waiting until I have it figured out to do so. I'm going to show you what I'm building before this baby gets here. So I'm talking like the business decisions, the hiring, the boundaries, the things I stop doing, the things I double down on.

21:16The launches that work and don't, the shit that matters. The days that I'm wildly productive and then absolutely fucking useless. And all the fear and ambition and mom things and grief that will show up along the way. There's going to be uncomfortable conversations. There's going to be support that I pay for that is going to feel like it stretches me. There's going to be places that I am learning to surrender control. And I want you along on that journey. Because I don't want to come back six months from now with a newborn and a beautifully packaged carousel. That's called something stuffy like 10 things pregnancy taught me about my business. If that I want you in it with me. I want to document the becoming. So we're calling this chapter building both. I'll probably change that title 50 times. But that's what I'm doing. I'm building a baby and I'm building the next version of this business. And I don't believe that I have to apologize for either one of those things.

22:17And if there is one place that I want you to come build me alongside of me rather it is going to be on September 22nd. Because I'm teaching that brand new masterclass that came out of that ridiculous eight hour insomnia spiral that I've refined since then. And I genuinely think that it represents some of the most important work I have ever taught. So we're talking about how you actually move people toward working with you. We're talking about how to create your own demand. We are talking about having more conversations that you proactively start. We are talking about preselling before they ever get on that zoom call. Leading better masterful sales conversations handling objections like a champ. Following up with your feminine. Creating your own spaces instead of waiting for someone else to send clients your way. Because if I'm going to be forced to get brutally clear about what actually matters in my business right now, I want to help you do the same thing in yours.

23:20Not 97 more things on your to-do list. But helping you get crystal effing good at the handful of things that actually create the clients. That is what we are doing September 22nd. This masterclass is free. Go register. I'm going to put the link in the show notes. Come hang out with me. Come learn. Ask yourself some uncomfortable questions about what's actually missing between that business that you have and the one that you keep saying you want. And then stick around because this is just the beginning. There's a baby coming. And there is a very different version of six figure duala being built behind the scenes. And apparently a very differently.