079: Working Through Personal Challenges in ENM: Ebbs and Flows in Libido, Breakups and Changing Dynamics in Your Polycule, and Oversaturation

In this episode, Elle catches up with Vee on everything she's been up to over the past few months while she's been gone on maternity leave. Vee shares her takeaways from various sex parties and the personal challenges she's been working through that have made getting sexual more challenging than usual. 

Overthinking and using labels as a crutch: demisexuality. (1:57)

Trying to get sexy when you have a lot of stress in your life. (10:39)

Sex party takeaways: Squirting in public. Balancing and communicating with your partner, and using orgasms as stress relief. (13:16)

Don’t take anything personally: you never know what’s going on for someone in their own head and life. (20:19)

Likening sex parties to restaurants. If you’re not in the mood to participate, how can you leave the night feeling fulfilled and successful? (23:45)

Thinking for two at a sex party: how can you meet in the middle as a couple so that you’re both satisfied? Being a wingwoman/wingman for your partner so that you’re both fulfilled by the experience. (28:46)

Turning the conversation sexual: Getting turned on by talking about fantasies. (32:06)

Rooftop sex story: being attracted to androgyny. Getting out of your head and acting on instincts. (36:00)


The energetic difference when someone is “thirsty” vs when there’s no expectations. A subtle expectation for sex when you’re at a sex party. (39:37)

Oversaturation with sex parties leading to numbness. (41:41)

How to work through the feelings when the dynamics change in your polycule. When solo female unicorns leave the lifestyle when they find a monogamous partner. (45:31)

Setting intentions for upcoming events. (57:20)

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