04 - Awakening - Siddhartha - Hermann Hesse

0:00Skincare experts and dermatologists have often touted the benefits of indoor humidity as essential for healthy glowing skin. But did you know dry air can start to harm your skin and as little as 30 minutes? For years, many people have relied on humidifiers for better skin, sleep, and overall wellness. But traditional models, bulky, mold prone, and difficult to maintain. That's where canopy humidifier comes in. Recommended by leading dermatologists, canopy is a completely reimagined humidifier designed to elevate any space, offering the ultimate in skincare and wellness benefits. Cannabis clean moisture, come that's dryness, dullness, and fine lines, while strengthening the skin's barrier and boosting the effectiveness of topical skincare products. With its sleek design, canopy is the cleanest and easiest humidifier on the market. With its unique technology, cleaning is as easy as popping it in the dishwasher. Go to getcanopy.co to save $25 on your canopy humidifier purchase today with Cannabis filter subscription. Even better, use code podcast to check out to save an additional 10% off your canopy purchase. Your skin will thank you.

1:00Did you know that parents rank teaching financial literacy as the toughest life skill? That's where green light comes in. The debit card and money app made for families. With green light, you can send money to kids quickly, set up chores, automate allowance, and track spending with real-time notifications. Kids learn how to earn, save, and spend responsibly, while parents have peace of mind knowing smart money habits are being built with guardrails in place. Try green light risk-free today at greenlight.com, slash try green light. That's greenlight.com slash try green light. Green light helps kids learn about money the way most of us never did by actually using it. It's a debit card and money app that teaches kids to earn, save, and spend in real life. Not just swipe and hope for the best. Learning happens naturally in the moment. Parents can set limits, see spending in real time, and guide better habits along the way, all in one place without constant check-ins or cash runs. Don't wait, try green light risk-free today at greenlight.com slash try green light.

2:00Chapter four, awakening. When Siddhartha left the grove, where the Buddha, the perfected one, stayed behind, where Govinda stayed behind, then he felt that in this grove, his past life also stayed behind and parted from him. He pondered about the sensation which filled him completely as he was slowly walking along. He pondered deeply, like diving into a deep water. He let himself sink down to the ground of the sensation, down to the place where the cause is lie, because to identify the causes, so it seemed to him, is the very essence of thinking. And by this alone, sensations turn into realizations and are not lost, but become entities and start to emit like rays of light what is inside of them. Slowly walking along, Siddhartha pondered.

3:04He realized that he was no youth anymore, but had turned into a man. He realized that one thing had left him as a snake is left by its old skin. That one thing no longer existed in him, which had accompanied him throughout his youth and used to be a part of him, the wish to have teachers and to listen to teachings. He had also left the last teacher who had appeared on his path, even him, the highest and wisest teacher, the most holy one, Buddha. He had left him, had to part with him, was not able to accept his teachings. Slower, he walked along in his thoughts and asked himself, what is all this? What you have sought to learn from teachings and from teachers? And what they, who have taught you much, were still unable to teach you.

4:04And he found, it was the self, the purpose and essence of which I sought to learn. It was the self I wanted to free myself from, which I sought to overcome. But I was not able to overcome it, could only deceive it, could only flee from it, only hide from it. Truly, no thing in this world has kept my thoughts thus busy as this, my very own self. This mystery of me being alive, of me being one and being separated and isolated from all others, of me being Siddhartha. And there is no thing in this world I know less about than me, about Siddhartha. Having been pondering while slowly walking along, he now stopped as these thoughts caught hold of him and right away another thought sprang forth from these,

5:07a new thought which was, that I know nothing about myself, that Siddhartha has remained thus alien and unknown to me. That I know nothing about myself, that Siddhartha has remained thus alien and unknown to me, stems from one cause, a single cause. I was afraid of myself. I was fleeing from myself. I searched atman, I searched Brahman. I was willing to dissect myself and peel off all its layers to find the core of all peals in its unknown interior, the atman, life, the divine part, the ultimate part. But I have lost myself in the process. Siddhartha opened his eyes and looked around, a smile filled his face and a feeling of awakening

6:08from long dreams flowed through him, from his head, down to his toes. And it was not long before he walked again, walked quickly, like a man who knows what he has got to do. Oh, he thought, taking a deep breath, now I would not let Siddhartha escape from me again. No longer, I want to begin my thoughts and my life with atman and with the suffering of the world, I do not want to kill and dissect myself any longer to find a secret behind the ruins. Neither Yoga Veda shall teach me anymore, nor Atharva Veda, nor the ascetics, nor any kind of teachings. I want to learn from myself, want to be my student, want to get to know myself the secret of Siddhartha. He looked around as if he was seeing the world for the first time.

7:12Beautiful was the world, colorful was the world, strange and mysterious was the world. He was blue, here was yellow, he was green, the sky and the river flowed, the forest and the mountains were rigid. All of it was beautiful. All of it was mysterious and magical, and in its midst was he, Siddhartha, the awakening one, on the path to himself. All of this, all this yellow and blue, river and forest entered Siddhartha for the first time through the eyes was no longer a spell of Mara, was no longer the veil of Maya, was no longer a pointless and coincidental diversity of mere appearances, despicable to the deeply thinking Brahman who scorns diversity, who seeks unity.

8:15Blue was blue, river was river, and if also in the blue and the river in Siddhartha, the singular and divine lived hidden. So it was still that very divinity's way and purpose to be here, yellow, here blue, their sky, their forest and here, Siddhartha. The purpose and essential properties were not somewhere behind the things, they were in them, in everything. How deaf and stupid have I been? He thought walking swiftly along. When someone reads a text, wants to discover its meaning, he will not scorn the symbols and letters and call them deceptions, coincidence and worthless hull, but he will read them, he will study and love them, letter by letter.

9:17But I, who wanted to read the book of the world and the book of my own being, I have for the sake of a meaning I had anticipated before I read, scorn the symbols and letters. I called the visible world a deception, called my eyes and my tongue coincidental and worthless forms without substance. No, this is over, I have awakened, I have indeed awakened and have not been born before this very day. In thinking these thoughts, Siddhartha stopped once again, suddenly as if there was a snake lying in front of him on the path. Because suddenly he had also become aware of this. He, who was indeed like someone who had just woken up or like a newborn baby, he had to start his life a new and start again at the very beginning. When he had left in this very morning

10:19from the Grove Jettavana, the Grove of that exalted one, already awakening, already on the path towards himself, he had every intention, regarded as natural and took for granted that he, after years as an ascetic, would return to his home and his father. But now, only in this moment, when he stopped, as if a snake was lying on his path, he also awoke to this realization. But I am no longer the one I was. I am no ascetic anymore. I am not a priest anymore. I am no Brahmin anymore. What should I do at home and at my father's place? Study? Make offerings? Practice meditation? But all this is over. All of this is no longer alongside my path. Motionless, Siddhartha remained standing there,

11:21and for the time of one moment and breath, his heart felt cold. He felt a cold in his chest, as a small animal, a bird or a rabbit would, when seeing how alone he was. For many years he had been without home, and it felt nothing. Now he felt it. Still, even in the deepest meditation, he had been his father's son, had been a Brahmin of a high caste, a cleric. Now he was nothing but Siddhartha. The awoken one, nothing else was left. Deeply he inhaled, and for a moment he felt cold and shivered. Nobody was thus alone as he was. There was no no woman who did not belong to the nobleman, no worker that did not belong to the workers, and found refuge with them. Shared their life, spoke their language.

12:23No Brahmin who would not be regarded as Brahmins, and lived with them. No ascetic who would not find his refuge in the cast of the samanas, and even the most forlorn, hermit in the forest, was not just one and alone. He was also surrounded by a place he belonged to. He also belonged to a caste in which he was at home. Govinda had become a monk, and a thousand monks were his brothers, while the same robe as he believed in his faith spoke his language. But he, Siddhartha, where did he belong to, with whom would he share his life, whose language would he speak? Out of this moment when the world melted away all around him, when he stood alone like a star in the sky, out of this moment of cold and despair, Siddhartha emerged, more a self than before, more firmly concentrated.

13:25He felt, this had been the last tremor of the awakening, the last struggle of this birth, and it was not long until he walked again in long strides, started to proceed swiftly and impatiently, heading no longer for home, no longer to see his father, no longer back. End of chapter four.