022. Becoming the Parents We Wish We Had w/ Sterna Suissa

In today’s episode of Born To Know, trauma-informed coach and parenting expert Sterna Suissa shares how parents—often unknowingly—pass down patterns of self-betrayal, shame, and disconnection to their kids.

We explore how seemingly small interactions shape whether a child learns to trust themselves or outsource their sense of truth, how you might be unconsciously teaching your kids entitlement, self-sacrifice, and poor boundaries, and why emotional outbursts are invitations for growth for both children and parents.



Whether you're a new parent, you’re knee-deep in teen years, or looking for closure around how you were raised, this conversation will help you foster a more emotionally intelligent relationship with your kids. 

Chapters:

(00:00:00) Introduction

(00:00:53) Rooted in Reality: Sterna Suissa’s Work Reflects Parents' True Experiences

(00:01:30) Modern Rites: Helping Youth Transition to Adulthood Without Family Structures

(00:04:48) Why Kids Need Many Voices: Building Identity Through Diverse Relationships

(00:08:59) Inherited Wounds: How Unresolved Parental Struggles Echo in the Lives of Their Children

(00:13:25) The Truth About the Talk: How Lying to Kids About Sex Erodes Trust

(00:18:00) When Respect Hurts: How Forced Affection Teaches Children to Betray Their Boundaries

(00:23:43) The Backlash of Control: How Undermining a Child’s Autonomy Leads to Disconnection Over Time

(00:30:50) Raising Secure Children: How Parent-Child Dynamics Carry Into Adulthood and What You Can Do Today

(00:37:00) The Foundation of Trust: Creating Safe Parent-Child Relationships and Guiding Children Toward Discernment

(00:44:34) The Strength in Struggle: Why Allowing Children to Face Adversity Builds Resilience

(00:48:28) Is Sharing Truly Caring? Teaching Children to Balance Generosity and Self-Care

(00:52:45) The Transactional Mindset: Why Some Adults See Relationships as Exchanges

(00:56:25) When a Child’s Outburst Becomes a Mirror: How Emotional Reactions Invite Parents to Examine Their Beliefs and Triggers

(01:05:23) Teaching Kids to Heal: The Importance of Rupture and Repair in Childhood

(01:10:30) Laying the Foundation: How to Guide Your Child in Creating a Healthy Inner Blueprint

(01:13:00) Sterna Suissa’s Guidance for Parents Seeking to Reconnect with Their Child

Connect with Sterna Suissa:

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Born To Know is created by:

Host & Executive Producer: Eyla Cuenca

Post-Producer & Editor: Victoria Rondón 

Copywriter: Caty Lee 

Graphics & Website Designer: Turbo Rainbow

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