012-Needs vs. Strategies

In this episode, Dr. B. and Heather  go over the difference between needs and strategies.  They discuss why it's important, in conflict, to first identify the needs in play and then move to solutions/strategies.  Most of us have a pattern of moving towards strategies as soon as a conflict arises.  Slowing down, hearing one another at the need level is key to moving towards connection - then strategies and solutions will naturally arise.

Key Points Discussed:

• Hold your needs  tightly and your strategies lightly.  (00.43)
• NVC strategies are not bad if that's what you're getting at, however, most of us when we're in conflict, we start out advocating for our strategies, we fight at a strategy level, we talk about the strategies and often we don't even know the needs underneath them (01:50)
• How do you know something is a need as opposed to the strategy (06:24)
• A need is something that everyone in the world wants, and strategies or preferences for getting needs met (06:29)

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