The Topical
EN551 episodes
comedynews
The Topical is the daily podcast from The Onion and Onion Public Radio, and the only podcast brave enough to ask: What if the news had sound effects? Join host Leslie Price each day as he barely scratches the surface of all the day’s top news stories. Journalism isn’t dead. It's using its dying breath to beg you to listen to The Topical. New episodes published every weekday by 5 a.m. Eastern time.
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Episodes (551)
Victoria’s Secret Shutters Operations After Concluding Women Were Never Hot Enou...
The Topical
Jul 6, 20206:55pending
Mental Health Experts Warn Veterans’ PTSD Can Be Triggered By Sound Of Neighbors...
The Topical
Jun 26, 20207:51pending
Tide Accused Of Over-Inflating Number Of Children Who Roll Around In Mud Puddles...
The Topical
Jun 25, 20208:11pending
IBM Condemns Use Of Facial Recognition Software For Anything Other Than Matching...
The Topical
Jun 24, 20208:10pending
Red Cross Announces It’s Fine Not To Perform Life-Saving Mouth-To- Mouth On Some...
The Topical
Jun 23, 20207:56pending
Congress Announces Willingness To Give Black Lives Matters Protestors Statue Or...
The Topical
Jun 22, 20206:14pending
Mental Health Experts Advise On Best Ways To Combat Intrusive Thoughts Of Your F...
The Topical
Jun 19, 20207:31pending
Jimmy Carter Checks Into Rehab For Debilitating House-Building Addiction
The Topical
Jun 18, 20208:04pending
Congress Moving Toward Safer Vote-By-Paper-Airplane Option
The Topical
Jun 17, 20207:44pending
NRA Receives Massive Funding Increase From Donors Held At Gunpoint
The Topical
Jun 16, 20207:27pending
Online Activists Raise $5 Million To Create New Martin Luther King Jr. Quote
The Topical
Jun 15, 20207:46pending
Giant Pandas Finally Mate After Being Married In Catholic Ceremony
The Topical
Jun 12, 20207:22pending
New Guidelines Allow Gyms To Reopen For Weak Little Bitches Who Just Diddle Arou...
The Topical
Jun 11, 20207:03pending
NASA Launches Vengeance Rover To Pay Back Mars For Killing Opportunity Back In 2...
The Topical
Jun 10, 20208:01pending
Panicked White Woman Calls Police On Statue Of Martin Luther King Jr.
The Topical
Jun 9, 20206:54pending
New LinkedIn Feature Lets Job-Seekers Add Most Humiliating Things They Willing T...
The Topical
Jun 8, 20209:01pending
Health Experts Warn Protests Could Set Off Second Wave Of Police Brutality
The Topical
Jun 5, 20207:22pending
Mental Health Experts Recommend Bed Only Be Used For Shooting Amateur Pornograph...
The Topical
Jun 4, 20206:56pending
Botanists Concerned By What Returning To Work Will Do To Nation’s House Plants
The Topical
Jun 3, 20208:29pending
Study: Dolphins Not So Intelligent On Land
The Topical
Jun 2, 20208:33pending
Florida Governor Deploys National Guard To Force Residents Back Into Malls, Movi...
The Topical
Jun 1, 20207:47pending
NASA Curious How Folks Would Feel If They Hypothetically Already Launched A Mann...
The Topical
May 29, 20208:25pending
Authorities Receive List Of Demands From Increasingly Hostile Coronavirus
The Topical
May 28, 20207:01pending
What Are ‘Coronavirus Parties,’ And Why Weren’t We Invited?
The Topical
May 27, 20209:07pending
Heavenly Sources Confirm Jesus Christ Will Transfer To Iowa State University Aft...
The Topical
May 26, 20208:20pending
Military Announces $2 Million Research Initiative To Find Out How Mother Of 3 Ka...
The Topical
May 25, 20206:17pending
Quarantine Leading To More People Taking In Foster Gimps
The Topical
May 22, 20209:19pending
Benadryl Introduces New Controlled Coma Pills To Sedate Users For Entirety Of Al...
The Topical
May 21, 20206:20pending
U.S. To Combat Growing Disillusionment By Playing New National Pump-Up Anthem Th...
The Topical
May 20, 20207:08pending
Americans React With Indifference After First Case Of Coronavirus Spreading To P...
The Topical
May 19, 20207:37pending
Investigation Reveals Coronavirus Covering Its Tracks By Making Victims’ Deaths...
The Topical
May 18, 20207:58pending
Democrats Praise Joe Biden For Being Only Candidate Able To Talk Down To America...
The Topical
May 15, 20208:33pending
New Windex Formula Promises To Kill Twice As Many Birds
The Topical
May 14, 20207:44pending
Damning Report Finds White House Ignored Skeletal Horsemen Galloping Through Sky...
The Topical
May 13, 20207:59pending
Health Experts Say Coronavirus Originated In Promiscuous Bat Who Slept Around A...
The Topical
May 12, 20206:54pending
Health Officials Warn Mysterious Voice Calling For People To Come Out And Play I...
The Topical
May 11, 20207:11pending
Study Finds It Statistically Impossible That Your Mom The Best Mom In The World
The Topical
May 8, 20208:06pending
Quiet City Streets Allow Neighborhood Residents To Hear The Natural Sounds Of Co...
The Topical
May 7, 20207:48pending
Boston Market CEO Forgoes Annual 2-Million-Gallon Gravy Bonus To Help Pay Unempl...
The Topical
May 6, 20207:18pending
Best At-Home Workouts To Do When Your Head Is Stuck In The Banister
The Topical
May 5, 20208:16pending
The Topical Wins A Pulitzer
The Topical
May 4, 202014:22pending
Struggling United States Purchased By Private Equity Firm
The Topical
May 1, 20207:51pending
This Woman Was Isolated In Her Nursing Home, So Her Grandchildren Stood Outside...
The Topical
Apr 30, 20208:30pending
Thousands Of Stockpiled Ventilators Sent To New York Hospitals Turn Out To Be Cl...
The Topical
Apr 29, 20207:47pending
Walgreens Introduces New Dumbass-Only Shopping Hours For Dipshits Who Don’t Know...
The Topical
Apr 28, 20206:06pending
TheOnion.com Has Been Designated As A Pandemic Shelter In The Event That Covid-1...
The Topical
Apr 27, 20207:26pending
Nation Ashamed To Admit They Would Probably Look Up John Goodman’s Nudes If They...
The Topical
Apr 24, 20208:04pending
Federal Reserve To Infuse Wall Street With $500 Billion Worth Of Cocaine
The Topical
Apr 23, 20207:42pending
Psychologists: So-Called ‘Dr. Fauci’ Just A Figment Of Nation’s Collective Imagi...
The Topical
Apr 22, 20208:34pending
Nation Close To Getting Video Conferencing Software To Work
The Topical
Apr 21, 20207:05pending
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