The Topical
EN551 episodes
comedynews
The Topical is the daily podcast from The Onion and Onion Public Radio, and the only podcast brave enough to ask: What if the news had sound effects? Join host Leslie Price each day as he barely scratches the surface of all the day’s top news stories. Journalism isn’t dead. It's using its dying breath to beg you to listen to The Topical. New episodes published every weekday by 5 a.m. Eastern time.
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Episodes (551)
New Disarmament Treaty Calls For World Powers To All Fire Their Nuclear Stockpil...
The Topical
Sep 14, 20207:58pending
Huge Quantities Of Primo Shit Incinerated By Feds
The Topical
Sep 11, 20208:13pending
Study Finds More Americans Waiting To Start Secret Second Families Until Later I...
The Topical
Sep 10, 20207:22pending
Sephora Awarded NASA Contract To Give Moon Fresh, Fun Makeover
The Topical
Sep 9, 20209:03pending
Heavenly Authorities Arrest God For Leaving Children In Overheating Planet
The Topical
Sep 8, 20207:35pending
Robots Inform Artificial Intelligence Researchers That They’ll Take It From Here
The Topical
Sep 7, 20208:23pending
BREAKING: Total Hunk On Roof Deck Outside Our Window
The Topical
Sep 4, 20207:07pending
Zoologists Thrilled After Successfully Getting Pair Of Bengal Tigers To 69 In Ca...
The Topical
Sep 3, 20207:37pending
Study Confirms It Very Easy To Be Good Parent
The Topical
Sep 2, 20207:59pending
Study: Job Applicants With 4-Year College Degree Just As Successful As Those Who...
The Topical
Sep 1, 20207:53pending
Return To School ‘Whatever,’ Report Nation’s Angsty Teens
The Topical
Aug 31, 20206:58pending
Meteorologists Warn Hurricane Laura Intensifying Into Full-Scale Reckoning For O...
The Topical
Aug 28, 20206:47pending
Cinephile Refugees Arrive On Rafts In Canada For ‘Tenet’ Premiere
The Topical
Aug 27, 20208:33pending
Los Angeles Deploys Buzzkill Task Force To Break Up Parties
The Topical
Aug 26, 20207:19pending
ExxonMobil To Simplify Oil Extraction By Cutting Earth In Half
The Topical
Aug 25, 20209:19pending
Bee, Man Allergic To Bees Found Dead In Apparent Murder-Suicide
The Topical
Aug 24, 20207:25pending
New Identification App Lets Hikers Categorize All Corpses They Encounter On Natu...
The Topical
Aug 21, 20208:37pending
Tulsi Gabbard Named Democratic Nominee After Discovery Of Obscure Rule That Gran...
The Topical
Aug 20, 20207:29pending
Study Finds Gap Widening Between Rich Pets And Poor Americans
The Topical
Aug 19, 20207:41pending
Proposed Legislation Offers Citizenship To Immigrants Who Can Play Piano So Good...
The Topical
Aug 18, 20209:35pending
Congressional Democrats Threaten To All Wear Same Color If Trump Loses Election...
The Topical
Aug 17, 20207:31pending
New Evidence Calls Into Question William Shakespeare’s Authorship Of ‘The Usual...
The Topical
Aug 14, 20207:54pending
As If Things Weren’t Bad Enough, Snakes Still Slithering Around Out There
The Topical
Aug 13, 20207:45pending
TikTok Apologizes After Inadvertently Giving Platform To Thousands Of Theater Ki...
The Topical
Aug 12, 20207:46pending
Trump, Biden Campaigns Unveil Bold New Mouth Sounds
The Topical
Aug 11, 20207:23pending
Severely Injured Woman Heroically Fights Off Paramedics Trying To Force Her Into...
The Topical
Aug 10, 20207:15pending
NASA Announces Plans To Launch Chimpanzee Into Sun
The Topical
Aug 7, 20208:23pending
Defensive Chicago Police Officer Perfectly Capable Of Disappearing Protestors Wi...
The Topical
Aug 6, 20208:36pending
Financial Experts Recommend Americans Set Aside Giant Mesmerizing Pearl To Rub O...
The Topical
Aug 5, 20207:52pending
Nation Informs Body-Positive Advertisers It Ready To Go Back To Staring At Unatt...
The Topical
Aug 4, 20207:22pending
Town Council Votes To Rename Statue Of Robert E. Lee
The Topical
Aug 3, 20207:48pending
Authorities Abandon Search For Missing Girl After Finding Huge Bass While Dredgi...
The Topical
Jul 31, 20208:16pending
Jimmy Carter Added To Mount Rushmore After Becoming 5th Former President To Bowl...
The Topical
Jul 30, 20207:15pending
Fisher-Price Announces Company Has Grown Out Of Making Stupid Toys For Babies
The Topical
Jul 29, 20207:29pending
U.S. Requires Hurricanes To Quarantine For 2 Weeks Before Traveling To Other Sta...
The Topical
Jul 28, 20208:00pending
Nation’s CEOs Sign Pledge To Continue Fucking Over Americans
The Topical
Jul 27, 20207:13pending
Study Finds Couples Who Live With Moldering Corpse Of Mother Having Less Sex
The Topical
Jul 24, 20207:18pending
Frustrated Mayors Demand Constituents Stop Paying Such Close Attention To Everyt...
The Topical
Jul 23, 20208:34pending
Heavily Armed Fans Guard Statue Of Yogi Bear In Case It Turns Out He Supported C...
The Topical
Jul 22, 20207:13pending
CDC Horrified After Discovering Existence Of Thousands Of Public Pools
The Topical
Jul 21, 20207:26pending
Spain Holds First Annual ‘Running Of The Virus’ Festival
The Topical
Jul 20, 20208:11pending
Arctic’s Rapid Thawing Not Helped By Todd, A Guy Up There Rubbing His Warm Body...
The Topical
Jul 17, 20208:08pending
Study: Majority Of Americans Not Prepared For When Sun Engulfs Earth In 7.5 Bill...
The Topical
Jul 16, 20208:05pending
IRS Announces Taxpayers Can Make Checks Directly Payable To Any Corporation Or B...
The Topical
Jul 15, 20207:49pending
New York Adds ‘No Deaf Child In Area’ Signs So Drivers Know When They Can Be As...
The Topical
Jul 14, 20205:58pending
Prison Guards Gun Down Inmate Trying To Escape Jail Through Transportive Power O...
The Topical
Jul 13, 20208:00pending
New Crest Sweepstakes Offers Chance To Win 10 Million Teeth
The Topical
Jul 10, 20206:37pending
FBI Warns Teenage Cyberbullying Driving Hundreds Of Undercover Agents To Suicide
The Topical
Jul 9, 20206:51pending
City Terrorized But Unimpressed By Serial Killer Who Just Shoots Victims
The Topical
Jul 8, 20205:49pending
Lime Unveils Pilot Program For Inexplicable New E-Cubes
The Topical
Jul 7, 20205:37pending
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