You Said You Were Fine With It. You're Not.

Welcome back to High Heels to Happy Fields.

I'm Natalie and I'm Stephanie and today we're going straight in because I have a feeling

a lot of you already know what this episode is about, not because we told you, but because

you've been living with it.

Yeah, again, I just say the number of times this week, I caught myself thinking about

something I thought I was done thinking about. It's been a week, right? Okay. So that's exactly

where we're starting because I think if you're honest with yourself, there's something we've

returned to recently, whether it's a thought, a conversation, a decision that was supposedly

got made. Maybe it's a relationship that you said you were at peace with and yet here you are

back on it. And not really in a spiral way, more like your brain or your gut just won't let it go.

And part of you is annoyed at yourself and the other part is starting to wonder if maybe there

might be a reason for this. And there's a reason. And that's what we're here today. That's what we're

going to talk about. So before we get into all of that, I want to share something that happened to

me this week because I think it's going to resonate. I was going through some old voice memos,

like completely randomly, just looking for one specific thing. And I found this memo I recorded

it was maybe back in November. And I just listened to it. And I was describing a situation at the time

where I said out loud to myself, I think I already know what this is. I just maybe don't want to

say it yet. And I remember recording that. I mean, it wasn't that long ago. But I remember thinking

that I was being pretty dramatic about it. And I told myself, you're overthinking. And then I moved on.

And I did not move on convinced myself that I had that you know what that just gave me chills because

you're so good at trusting yourself on your intuition. So it's crazy. Right? Because the thing I

was describing in that voice memo, I'm only now like in the last few weeks actually looking at

that situation clearly, like the blurriness has started to lift. And I can see what I was seeing

back then. I just wasn't really ready to receive it back then. That is such a perfect example of what

we're inside of right now energetically. This idea that you knew something maybe that you've always

known, but there's a process that has to happen, right? Before you can actually take it in.

There's a difference between knowing something and being ready to do something with it.

Oh my god. Huge massive difference. And that's the gap where so many people are living right now.

All right. And let's just name some of these, I think, because I think there's some of the ways

that this might be showing up for everybody. Because I think if we all hear it reflected back,

it's amazing to recognize where we fall in that. So I'm going to start. You're in a conversation with

someone, a partner, a coworker, a friend, right? And it suddenly hits that you, it hits you that

I've had this combo before. Maybe the exact words are different, but the dynamic is identical.

And something and you go quiet because you realize this is a pattern. And now that you've seen

that pattern, you can't unsee it. Or another one is you make a decision, something you worked really

hard to commit to. And then a week later, you're back in your head about it. Not because you made

the wrong choice necessarily, but because the process of deciding revealed something about yourself

or about the situation, that you're really not quite done processing. Oh yeah. How about this one?

So, and I think this one's really, really common right now. Someone says something completely off-hand.

Right. Just way out of left field doesn't even realize that they said what they said at all. And it

just it lands so differently than it should. And you can't explain why it hit you so hard.

You're just standing there, whatever room you're in, like I think in like standing in the kitchen

and you're going, why am I so emotional about that? Because something in you recognize something true.

And that's the answer every single time. Every time. Our body responds before our brains ever catch up.

And then there's the quieter version of this where you're not even in a conversation. You're just

going on about your day. You're in the shower or you're on a walk or you're in half a sleep space

where before you're fully awake and something surfaces, like a thought like out of nowhere or a memory

or a feeling of something you've thought you were completely over has just washed over you again.

Oh my god. And so true. And instead of immediately analyzing part of you starts to wonder,

why is this showing up now? Which is the right question. And finally, asking the right question.

Right. And what I find really interesting, and Stephanie, I talked about this, is how collective

this feels right now. Like it's not just individuals having their own private reckoning. There's

something in the air that's making this kind of like a shared experience. And I've been noticing

in conversations with friends and messages with listeners or people who DM us in the way people

are talking online. There's like this undercurrent of quiet reconsideration happening everywhere.

Like everybody's considering everything. And people aren't blowing up their lives and they're

not really doing any big dramatic announcements. They're just kind of sitting differently

with the things they've accepted is true about themselves or their relationships or the direction

that they're taking. Right. And it's been subtle, but it's significant. Very significant. And I

think part of what makes it feel uncomfortable for people is that it doesn't fit in the cultural

script that there's, you know, that big realization. It just doesn't fit in those things.

We'd expect them to feel like a lightning bolt or dramatic confrontation or the aha moment.

The clear before and after, but a lot of the deepest shifts don't really feel like that. They feel

like kind of like just a gradual increase in that clarity. Like the fog is slowly lifting and

what's underneath is something you already knew, but you're just now seeing it for the first time.

And it's so poignant right now, right? Because that's very much the energy of this particular

week, which brings me, we're going to jump into the astrology. Because what's happening in the

skies right now, maps almost perfectly onto what we're describing in this episode. So I'm going

to break it down this week. I'm going to do my best to do this in a way that doesn't require that

you know a whole lot about astrology. More about the concepts than it is the jargon. You can always

go to astrological insights my or other podcast and catch all the jargon. So the big headline for

this week is the Jupiter, which is essentially the planet that governs growth, expansion,

where things get bigger. It's been moving in reverse since last fall. And that's called retrograde.

And it's been doing that in cancer, which is the sign that governs our emotional security,

our home roots, what we actually need versus what we think we need. For months, the energy of

emotional expansion has been turned inward. So reflective, right? People have been sitting with big

feelings that not necessarily expressing those or acting on those feelings, right? And there's

been a lot of internal processing happening that might feel like stagnation or even uncertainty

from the outside. Right? I mean, I think everybody feels it. And on Tuesday night this week,

we have Jupiter stationing direct again, which means it stops and it's turning around. And over

the coming weeks, all of that internal processing is going to start to move outward. Things that

were stuck emotionally, decisions, feelings, dynamics in our relationships, your relationship,

even with yourself. We start feeling that momentum again. That sounds like, and I think

it's going to feel like a relief. Oh, my God, it should, it totally should, truly, because there's

a nuance, but you got to think about here with all of this too, because at that same time,

we still have Mercury retrograde in Pisces. That's still that backward, right? Mercury's

governing communication is how we process information, how we really articulate what's inside

of us. And Pisces is already a sign that feels more than it speaks. It's very emotional.

Put Mercury retrograde in Pisces. And you have this interesting situation where

people have a lot of emotional clarity. They know what they feel. They sense what's true,

but the words don't come out right. They're not quite there yet. So there can be a gap

between what you know and what you can express. Which is why so many conversations this week might

feel like you're dancing around the thing you actually want to say. Exactly. So totally. And then

Friday, we finally are going to get something that's really worth paying attention to. Mars,

which is our planetive action and momentum right drive is aligning with what's called the North

node. It's a lunar node. The North node is essentially an astrological marker of collective

direction. It's our karmic vision. It's where we're being pulled as individuals and as a group.

When Mars meets the North node action taken in that window tends to carry a lot more weight

than what it appears to in that moment. So something you do or decide or even say this week

may look or may be more significant than it looks on paper for you right now.

Well, and it's not in a pressure creating way, right? It's just in a pay attention way.

Exactly. Exactly. It's not a reason to overthink everything you do.

It's an invitation to be present and intentional, right? Especially in moments that feel meaningful

even if they're quietly meaningful. And then Sunday, we finally round out the week Mars and

Mercury retrograde and they end up meeting together. So that's going to feel like a little bit

of friction between feeling and expression because your thoughts are going to feel supercharged.

Conversations can be unresolved or incomplete. There might be something important that's just kind

of hovering just under the surface of an interaction. And both people can be sensing it,

but neither is fully naming it at that time. Which is just a very familiar feeling all around.

Exactly. It's a familiar, it's the familiar feeling we're talking about this whole week, right?

And one that we've been building toward in a way because all week that underlying invitation has

really been for all of us. How can you stop avoiding the thing that you keep coming back to?

So can I share something a little more personal here? Because I think it's going to illustrate

this really well. Yeah, go for it. All right. So a few years ago, I was in a situation where I had

a friendship that started to feel a little off. Like the dynamic had shifted in a way that I couldn't

quite put my finger on. And I kept telling myself I was being too sensitive. Like, you know,

I'm reading into things and that is probably just a phase. And the thing is I would have moments

where I think about it real clearly and say, no, this isn't right. Something is genuinely off

here. And then I would immediately talk myself out of it. And I know there's others out there

like me. So, oh yeah. But I would find an explanation that made it less significant at that time.

I would focus on the good things. I would distract myself. And so that cycle continued. And it went on

for almost a year. I think that's the one I know. And I think that went on for longer than a year.

Probably, I'm probably see I'm making it even less significant now. And it's all good.

Almost a year or two or three of me coming back to that same feeling, that same thought. And then

convincing myself to let it go. And then coming back to it yet again, because it wasn't done with you,

right? You had history. You had a lot of processing, I think, to do with that. Yeah, it wasn't done

with me. And what I know now that I didn't know then is that every time I came back to that thought,

I wasn't going crazy. Like, it became significant. Like, at the end of years,

it was coming a little quicker. And I wasn't being dramatic or oversensitive. And I was receiving

information and information that I just wasn't ready to act on at that point. But it was accurate.

And eventually, when I was ready, I stopped explaining it away. And I just let myself know

what I knew. Like, I knew it all along. And that friendship did end. And it needed to.

And the grief was real. But so was the relief. And looking back, I can see every moment I return to

that feeling as a part of the process was a feeling. It wasn't a failure. It was just process.

And seeing that's such an important way of reframing it. Because I think so many of us have been taught

that if you keep revisiting something, right, especially something that's uncomfortable,

feeling about a relationship or a situation or whatever that means that you're not handling it well.

Like healthy people just move on and unhappy people just circle the drain. And that is such

a harmful oversimplification. So harmful. Circling can be a form of like metabolizing it. Your system

is working through something at whatever pace it needs to. Exactly. And the question, is it why

can't I just let this go? The question is, what is this still trying to show me? Absolutely.

Yeah. So I want to bring our soul pillars into this. And because I think this is a really good time.

And, you know, I think this week, the experience we're describing really shows up differently

for everybody. And it depends on which area of your life or yourself is most activated. Because

in the mind, what you might notice is the quality of repetitive or recursive thinking.

The same thought keeps presenting itself, possibly even the same question. And I think that could

feel very frustrating because your mind wants, you know, we all do. We want a conclusion. We want

to solve it. We want to reach a decision, close the loop, check the box. But the invitation and the

mind this week isn't to force resolution. It's to slow down and it's to actually listen to what

thought is, what it's trying to bring to you, not dismiss it, not analyze it to death, just

receive it. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And in your heart, the experience is probably

emotional in a way that's going to feel slightly disproportionate to what's on the surface. So

you might find yourself more moved than you expected, like by a song or a memory, something

somebody says, even something you watch. And that sensitivity isn't a problem. Your heart is

responding to something that's real underneath. And that real is the immediate stimulus.

It's picking up a theme and that your system is working through.

And that heartbeat just goes right on into your body, right? Because there might actually be a

physical sensation. And we talk a lot about this, right? The somatic and what that means for your

body. But that physical sensation connected to whatever you keep circling back to, a tightness

somewhere, it's, it's feeling restless, a low grade, maybe if it's in higher grade anxiety,

that doesn't come, you know, it doesn't even seem to have an obvious cause. Sometimes the body

is carrying the thing your mind hasn't let yourself truly face. If you're feeling something

physically this week that just feels a little, I don't know, linked to, you know, an unresolved

thought or a feeling or a question, it's worth paying attention to because your body is a huge part

of this process. Absolutely. And the last of our pillars is the spirit just to round it out.

But in the spirit, it's the level of awareness that's beyond logic and it's beyond feeling,

beyond the physical. What this week is really offering is a kind of clarity that we can't

manufacture on our own. There are going to be moments this week where you might just know something

without knowing how you know it. Right. The noise gets quieter when you go to that level.

And what's left is usually exactly what you've been trying to get to.

I love that. It's so true. And we want to leave you with something practical that you can use

because we always want there to be something that you can actually lose and give, you know,

some free tools and free snippets. So here's a simple reflection practice. We're just calling it

the return. Nice and simple. It's designed for exactly the kind of experience we've been describing

where there's something that you keep coming back to and you're just not quite sure what to do with

it. And you don't need a journal for this. You don't need a lot of time either. You just need

a few minutes and a little bit of honesty with yourself. Exactly. Thank you. So first, I want you

just we're going to have you start by identifying the thing. What is the thought? The feeling, the

situation, the relationship, the question that keeps finding its way back and picking away at you,

just name it. Even if you name it really vaguely, there's something about my job. There's something

about this person. There's something about the direction I'm headed. You do not need to get

specific right away. Just acknowledge that something is there. And then secondly, so in another form,

and this is subtle, so go slow with it. When you return to this thing that you thought about,

what's the quality of the feeling? Not what do you think about it, but how does it feel?

Is their grief in it or is there longing or unfinished nest, unfinished business, anger that

hasn't had anywhere to go? Sometimes naming the emotional quality of something that you keep

revisiting tells you more than analysis could. Yeah. So true. Even though we love the data, but

it's so true. Third, is there something you know about this that you haven't truly let yourself

fully know yet, which is a wild. And I mean this genuinely, if you dropped the self-projective

reasoning, if you set aside the, but it's probably fine and the I'm probably overreacting, right?

What's underneath? What do you actually sense? It's true here. Yeah, that's tough. Okay, last

and this one, I want you to be gentle with yourself about what would it mean to stop explaining

this away? You don't have to act on anything. You don't have to make a decision today.

But what would it mean to just stop dismissing what you keep returning to?

Yeah. Yeah. I know. It's a lot of, I'll, all four of those questions are just,

I'll write it down before the show. I know. Those, those are really going to throw our listeners

in the deep end. Right? I mean, sorry folks, but it's, it's a different version of shadow work.

Just kidding. I know. I know we're so bad. Sometimes the most important thing though,

really from all of this, and what you can do is letting yourself know that you know,

letting yourself know what you know. Let yourself know what you know. I love that. Yeah,

it's kind of a thing, right? Let yourself know what you know. All right, before we wrap,

I just want to sit with what we talked about today, because there was a lot,

and I think it's important that we just kind of revisit it. So we talked about the difference

between knowing something and being ready to receive it. We talked about the fact that returning

to a thought or a feeling is not a weakness. It's your system doing exactly what you're supposed

to be doing. It's information moving through you at the pace that it needs to.

And I think the bigger takeaway is this, if you, okay, you are more perceptive,

than you even give yourself credit for. The things you notice, the quiet ones, the inconvenient ones,

the ones you try to explain away, they're not at all noise. It's all signal.

So true. And this week with Jupiter finally, you know, moving forward, going direct and cancer,

and all the Pisces energy, right? That's all of our heavy emotion and water.

The energy is making feelings so much louder than words. It's a good week to stop

dismissing what keeps showing up for you. Don't do anything dramatic with it, but you do need

to stop turning away from it, quit disregarding it. The thing you keep coming back to is not coming

back for no reason. So true. And we're going to end it right there. We are just going to,

yeah, we're going to let it go right there. The sole pillars that we started talking about,

you can grab those immersivespirit.com, forward slash sole pillars, totally free. There are workbooks

there, videos to walk through, every, it's all free. Pick the pillar you want. You don't even

have to go through all four. It's entirely up to you. I also want to remind everybody,

our intuitive operating system. So if you're really ready to dig in, we are doing our founders

program, right? So first time offering. So it's a heavily discounted offering. First round,

the wait list is open. You can go to intuitive operating system.com. Check out all the details,

see if it's for you, and then get on that wait list. It costs you nothing to sign up for that

wait list and find out more details. And then of course join our community. We love having people

in our community for all of our different workshops. We do group breaking and new and full moon energy

and creative pathways and intuitive development series plus tons of emails and good content

and conversation with some really smart people. We have so many cool smart people in our community.

Love our community. And I'm probably missing something huge one of my missing.

Well, if you guys are going through this and you just want to share what you keep coming back to

because we've started getting direct messages from a lot of folks in the community and you're

welcome to send that to us. But if you want to share like a relationship that close down that you

just can't get over and you want to tell somebody about it and your family's like don't you dare

talk to me about that relationship again. You can share it with us. We'll listen. Absolutely.

Absolutely. Put it in the comments here or just send it in a direct message. We've got all the

little social media's out there. We're on our site. You can chat with us directly. Yeah, we're always

yeah, we're always in here. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. All right. So the week ahead be nice to

yourself. Be kind to yourself because you're going to be feeling a whole lot as we go through

this cycle and shift and start swinging those doors wide open. Make sure to check out our other

podcasts more than you see with my sister talking about the intuitive side of life astrological

insights where it gets into the deeper astrology of the week ahead. And from high heels to happy

fields. I'm Stephanie. And I'm Natalie. And we're from immersive spirit. Thanks for joining and

we'll see you again next week. Bye bye.