YOU’re not MAKing SENSE

0:00This is good, you know, you're only fighting yourself or you only, you know, stop fighting the flow or God or however you want to say it. It's like when you're not being authentically you, right, you're fighting you, you're fighting against yourself. Why? And I think they were trying to show like destiny or fate or like which does boil down to fully loving and accepting yourself, right, like you are who you are, like in other words, it's all God, right, okay, slow it out. So they're showing it's like, you know, it's all God, right, it's all God, he's in charge of it all, it's all unconditional love, it's all, it does, it does imply this like divinely work straight into my, in other words, it's all him and he split off to experience so many different things.

1:00So he's technically in charge and it's like we're the robots who want to come alive and and fight our way to our way and it's like, sit, sit, you sit the fuck down, I made you right, like I'll tell you what you're going to do. And so it's like God wanted to experience everything a certain way and we get confused and disillusioned by our eyes and ears, seeing outsiders off, thinking we get to decide which again this can all just bear with me. It can all be arguable which is what we do. And so he was showing it like this, okay, so it was this idea that it's all him and he's in charge and he wants to experience everything the way he wants to experience it. So we mean it's all unique so that we can all have our perspective so that he can see all these angles and perspectives and enjoy and range. And so it's like when we don't accept the beauty of us, you know, the beauty of the God

2:06within the authenticity within the love within of who we really are, it can't shine through. It's like we're blocking it, we're blocking our blessings, we're blocking our authenticity, we're blocking who we are from the outside. And so we're only hurting ourselves, we're only fighting ourselves. And then we don't get to experience ourselves, we don't get to witness ourselves, we don't get to feel our full divinity, right, our full authenticity. We don't allow it to permeate through, we don't allow it to radiate all of us to shine outwardly. And we're only hurting ourselves, right, it's like we are, we are only fighting ourselves. And so it can sound so silly that way. And so he was also showing it like somebody doing this like battling themselves so to speak

3:08which it is, it's always an internal battle. It's all a mental game. And it was this mental game and difficulty of, it's kind of like that idea of forgiveness, right, where it's like you're looking at something and you're disdain for it and you want it to die. And so you start to drink poison, you're like, oh, I'm going to drink this poison because what I'm looking at will die. And it's like, no, you're not making sense. And they're like, oh, no, I am, I'm looking at this thing. So I'm going to drink this poison and that thing's going to die. And it's like, no, no, do you hear yourself slap, snap out of it. Hello, wake up. And it's like people in those, in those states are what we would call a sleep unconscious, unaware on, you know, and they're not getting it, right. And so then they die, right, they drink the poison, they die and they're like, how did that happen?

4:08I was so fixated on what I wanted to die, yeah, but you were the one who drank the poison, you were the one who sat in unforgiveness, you're the one who felt those feelings and wouldn't release them. You wanted to hold it off yourself. And I'm trying to get back to where they were showing me. It was like fighting oneself, not loving oneself, seeing outside oneself and be like, no, I want that and that. And then it's like, no, but you're spectacular. And it's almost like, you know, how we all are uniquely us, right. We're all the same and we're all uniquely us in that we all have that. So it's like the idea of snowflakes, well, that all looks like fucking snow to me, right. It all looks the same. You know, we all look human. And yet there is that slight difference in everything, right. Everybody has a different thumbprint. It's just a slight variation, all looks at the same fucking thumbprint. But there is that slight difference, that essence within you, right.

5:10And so you're never going to see you outside of you in that sense. How can I explain this? So it's like this person is looking outside of them. And because their essence is theirs, it's uniquely them. It's like they're trying to mimic everyone outside of them, everything they're seeing. And it's like, well, then you'll never be authentically you because there's only one you. It's your essence. And so it's like that simple concept has been lost on this person. It's like, well, they can't be lovable because they've never seen anything like them before. So they're like, well, then I can't be me because it's a weird concept and it's a weird thing to verbalize. I'm not sure how to do so. It's like they haven't ever seen anything like them.

6:13So they don't believe that it's acceptable or lovable, something like this, right. And yet that's exactly the thing that will make them acceptable and lovable. And so it's almost like the simplest concept for all of us to, you know, it's what we all go through an experience. And yet at the same time, seeing it through this lens is interesting to me. I guess maybe just verbalizing it this way is interesting to me. And I hope you can hear it. Yeah, so it's like, I guess it is that fright or fear, right. It's that thing that we all have to bust through. That scare of, okay, we'll just let it all go. Just be free, just be you, just be authentically you, even though it's not out there because of course it's not out there. Everybody has their own essence. And so it's like you have to trust and believe in you, that you, you accept you and that

7:20you love you. And that it is a risk. You're right. It hasn't been felt or seen because everybody's uniquely them. And so you're right, you're right, you might, you might get rejected. You might not be loved as you. But do you want to be anybody else? Like do you want to not be free to be, right. It's that also that idea. You have to love yourself so much, otherwise you'll kill yourself and forgive me for saying it that way. But it's like, you're authentic self, you'll continue to keep covered up. It's like your ego, your shadow will always overshine. How do I say this better? It's like if you don't fully love and accept yourself, you are essentially never allowing yourself freedom. You're never unlocking those gates to walk out of. You're keeping yourself trapped in that hell.

8:22And you're never free to live, to experience life, to its fullest. And only you are doing that. And that's just so sad, right. And yet many of us, I think everybody, if you think about it, can relate to that. If you think about that on a deeper level, you have at some point done that during your life. And some of us are still doing that, right. Like it just depends on where you are and what's keeping you locked up. What lies are you telling yourself? What old versions of yourself are you holding yourself to or others holding you to? Others aren't ever doing that by the way, but people will claim that. In other words, that's just another barrier in one's own mind. You know, it's another illusion, another lie, another falsehood that you have to just turn and face and bust through and prove it wrong by walking right through it as if it doesn't

9:25exist because it does not. I just showed that scene. There's a scene in Harry Potter. Forgive me. I know there was a ton of them and I've only seen little clips here and there with my daughter where he like runs into the wall because it doesn't really exist, right. But you have to really know that and believe that it doesn't exist. You have to, you know, deceive or deny your eyes, right. Deny what you think you know, right, you're looking, I see the damn wall, I see it with my eyes. Okay, your eyes are lying to you and that wall doesn't exist, but okay, it's up to you. You can stay here on this platform where you can run right through that that illusion. It's totally up to you, right. And that is a hard concept for us as humans to wrap our minds around.

10:26And yet we don't need to wrap our minds around it. We need to release our minds from it, right, you know, bust through that bubble and pop it. I don't know how we got on to this. If you like, they had me talking about like destiny or fate or something, yeah, it's like people fight God. It's the God within, it's your truth, it's your authenticity, instead of just relaxing and allowing. And so it was funny to me, I think, it's that it's like we're in charge and we're not. It was given the duality of it all, of like, oh, you're in charge as long as you're doing what God wants you to do, right. It's going to like, it's like, it's, it's easy like that. Remember, I was using that example for the long time where it's like God's like, okay, let's go out to dinner and you'll go great, let's go here and they're like, oh, no, not

11:28there. Okay, well, let's go here. No, no, no, no, no, not there. Okay. Well, let's go here. No, no, no, no. Okay. Well, I don't fucking care. Where do you want to go for dinner? Oh, you know, wherever you want. Honey, wherever you want. Let's pick a place. I've given you three places. Okay. Well, anywhere else. We're all stupid. Okay. And it's like, okay, you know what? Do you know what? So it's kind of that idea where it's like, you get the illusion that it's up to you, but it's not up to you where it's like, well, it is up to you. But you have to determine what truly feels good for you. And we're so dissolutioned and lying to ourselves that we want X, Y and Z. So if using that same example, it's like, well, you didn't really even want that first restaurant. You thought going to that first restaurant would be really cool. But it's not what you really wanted to eat. And the second restaurant was just convenient. It just happened to be right there. But it's not really what would satiate you. And then the next restaurant, so it seems like God's being cruel going, no, no, no.

12:31But you're not being honest. It's not even what you want. So it's really God saying, well, that's not really what you want. So you can't have it. And you're like, mother fucker, I want this. No, you don't. No, you don't. Right. So it's that concept. It's that idea that we have a hard time with because we just want everything to be quote easy. And it's like, well, who's making it difficult? You have to feel your feelings. You have to be honest with yourself. You have to decide what you truly want. You're only hurting yourself, lying. Like why would you not go for what really satiates you? Because you're looking outside yourself at the illusion. OK, all right. Thanks so much for tuning in and listening. You can now purchase an audio journey with me using the link below.