X Minus One - A Thousand Dollars A Plate

0:00At Amika Insurance, your time and peace of mind matter. Bundle your auto and home coverage with us and enjoy savings that make life a little easier. As a mutual insurance company, we're built for our customers. We prioritize your needs and are here for you when you need us. Amika, Empathy is our best policy. Visit Amika.com and get a quote today. You know what? It sucks to be bored. But when I get on my phone and play real casino games on spinquest.com, the time flies by that two hour wait at the DMV seems like 10 minutes. Play your favorite spots, live black check, live preps with a live dealer. New players, $30 coin packs are on sale for $10. Play spinquest.com and you'll never be bored again. Spinquest is a free to play social casino. Boydware prohibited. Visit Spinquest.com for more details.

1:00In just a moment, X minus 1. But first, an important subject in these days of snow and blizzard is how to fight the common cold. And tomorrow, NBC's weekday deals with this problem in a special feature by Dr. Leona Baumgartner, New York City Health Commissioner. Yes, it's NBC's weekday to keep you up to date in every field from health to housekeeping, from politics to pots and pans. And there's also the best variety entertainment on weekday. Tomorrow, headed by Metropolitan Opera Star, Robert Merrill. Listen every Monday through Friday to NBC's weekday. And I'll stay tuned for X minus 1. Countdown for blast off. X minus 5, 4, 3, 2, X minus 1, fire.

2:09From the far horizons of the unknown, come transcribed tales of new dimensions in time and space. These are stories of the future, adventures in which you'll live in a million could be years on a thousand maybe worlds. The National Broadcasting Company in cooperation with Galaxy Science Fiction Magazine presents... X minus, minus, minus, minus, minus, one, one, one, one. Tonight's story, A Thousand Dollars A Plate by Jack McKenzie. Very ship from Deema Space Station carrying cargo and passengers from Earth now arriving in blasting pit six.

3:15Radiation clearance and quarantine officers report to passenger conveyor. Mars Airways to New Chicago, Port Kelly, Mars Port, Mars Port Park, New Amityville and Nova Mesopaqua take off in 15 minutes all aboard. Excuse me, sir. Could you help me? Sure, buddy, what'll it be? Cards, dice, a little shot of distilled hackaberry? No, I just wondered if you could direct me. Brother, you came to the right man. I can direct you anywhere you want to go. That's what I'm here for. You just get off the ferry? Yes, I came on the Phobus Queen. Yeah, you know you're conspired of in my business. All right, what'll it be now? Well, I want to know how I can get to the observatory. But what? The Mars Observatory. You know, the Astronomical Research Center. What do you want to go there for? I work there, or at least I will. No kidding. You want them double dome stargases, huh? Yes, I'm an astronomer. Yeah, I heard there was a lot of you guys out there under glass, but I don't get out of town much.

4:16I got to keep my hand in, you know. Are you sure you wouldn't like a little flutter before you settle down on your rut? No, no, I never play cards. Occasionally a little chess. I don't know if I got any chess in any of the casinos, but if you're one I can arrange it. You know, play against the house. Five bucks a piece for the kitty and a sea note for checkmate. No, thank you. Can you direct me to the observatory? You'll have to get a sand hack, no other regular buses go by there. They just hit the casinos on the strip. I'll tell you what, the next fairy won't clear for another half hour. I'll walk you over to the hack stand. Well, thank you, that's very kind of you. Just call me pusher. It's on account of my occupation, you know. Oh, I see. I'm N. Wright C. Benzinger, Dr. Benzinger. Well, it's a pleasure, Doc. Right this way. Well, this isn't exactly what I expected. Your first trip to Mars, huh? Yes, it is. Well, you'll get used to it out this way. Adjust your gills. Gills? Sure. But what do you think you're going to breathe outside that door? There isn't enough oxygen on Mars to keep a miles alive. They give you a standard issue when you got off the ferry, it's in that bag.

5:17Oh, yes, I'm afraid I was reading when they explained it. The quarterly journal from the Harvard Observatory, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I never miss a copy. Now, look, you put the nose clip in, see, and crack the valve. This way it compresses enough air to keep you going. Okay? All right, let's go. Cold. Sure, it's cold. Sandhacks are right up the street there. Beautiful. Beautiful. All the colors in the sky. I am surprised, though, in an atmosphere this thin, the sunset shouldn't be spectacular. That ain't the sunset. Chief, that's the new sign on top of the canal casino. Right there behind you, see? Fun. Fun. Fun. Yeah, but if you want to square shake with the dice, you go to Harry Harvey's place. The red sand's hotel. I suppose the seeing is excellent. It's telling me. You know, he's got a line of girls like you never see nowhere else. Oh, I'm afraid I meant astronomical seeing the telescopes, you know.

6:18Yeah, you got an idea there. Telescopes. What's that? Nothing. Fireworks. It's a Misey Grub. Don't fire? Misey Grub. You know, big party all over town. Parades, costumes, liquor, fireworks, gambling. You know, big celebration. Well, what's the occasion? An eclipse of the two moons. Oh, but that occurs very frequently. Oh, sure. You'd be surprised how much a Misey Grub is to take on the strip. Well, hear the sandhacks and look, don't let them hackies charge you more than 15 bucks for the trip. Just tell them you know me. Just tell them push us, ain't you? The end of it, I want you all to meet Dr. Benzinger, our new colleague. These are Dr. Spitz, Spiegel, Otney and Clyde. I, um, I'm sorry to introduce you to our team at such a critical moment, but our situation is rather desperate. Well, I'm afraid I don't understand. Spiegel, show Dr. Benzinger your plate. Here, just look at this. Just look. It took me eight weeks working with the computer to plot this plate and look.

7:21Look! It seems fogged. These streaks I don't believe I've ever seen them on an astronomical photograph before. What are they? Sky Rockets, that's what they are. Sky Rockets. Morton, I tell you that they fired them in our direction on purpose. All right, all right. Calm down, Spiegel. Calm down. You realize there will be 12 years before this particular conjunction can be photographed again. Morton, you've got to do something. Couldn't you write a little note to the Chamber of Commerce and ask them to eliminate the fireworks? We've written a note every time a small boy lets off a Roman candle and it was no use. I tell you they fired them this way on purpose. I'm afraid that's true. The other directions around town are either oil refineries or homes of the casino owners. I don't suppose there's any chance of moving the observatory then out into the desert. My dear Dr. Benzinger, we'd have to bring in crews to tear it down. Other crews to move it and set it up. Not to mention breakage and replacement, which would involve more freight from Earth at $7.97 per pound. Deadweight? As it is, the immense costs add up to a staggering total.

8:23Do you know what a single photographic plate costs us counting overhead? $1,000. Well, then what is the answer? An avalator to the town council, I suppose. Let me write it this time, Dr. Morton. My grandmother used to have several rather picturesque phrases which I believe I could translate. No, no, no, no, no, no, speak of dignity, dignity remember? We are an adjunct of Harvard University. Dr. Spiegel. I shall ask you and Dr. Benzinger to accompany me in person to the town council. Surely they cannot turn down a rational request in the interest of science? Well, gentlemen, the town council appreciates the problem. Yes, I felt certain it would. Naturally, you are aware of the importance of astronomical research, Mr. Harvey. Well, I can see your point, Doc. You sit out there in your little glass hut pointing your brownie camera up at the stars, snapping away. But you got to look at our point of view.

9:24Oh? Now you take my place. Harvey's red sands. I got a heavy investment. 14 crap tables. I have a dozen roulette wheels. And the rest of the overhead. I got to keep them wheels running. It's the Marsy grower that drags the suckers in. But really, Mr. Harvey, we were just asking you to curtail the pyrotechnic display. Now, wait, just a minute. I'm as clean living as the next guy. Oh, Dr. Benzinger means the fireworks. Oh. Well, I'd like to help you out, boys, but I look at it this way. Those stars you're looking at are going to be up there for a couple of thousand years. But a sucker is different. You got to grab him while he's still healthy. But in the interest of science, surely the town council can't agree with you. Doc, the town council is made up of Joe Rocco, Pete Connie, Alex, the Armenian, and me. We own the four biggest houses in town. So go ahead, fellas. Take all of them snapshots you want to. If you happen to lower your telescope, get a couple of good ones through a window of the Grand Canal Hotel. I'll take a couple eight by ten enlargements.

10:26I'll see you around, Doc. They say if you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together. At Amika Insurance, we know what matters most to you. And we work even harder to protect it together. As a mutual insurance company, we're built for our customers and prioritize your needs. Amika, empathy is our best policy. Visit amika.com and get a quote today. You know what? It sucks to be bored. But when I get on my phone and play real casino games on spinquest.com, the time flies by. That two-hour wait at the DMV seems like ten minutes. Play your favorite spots. Live Black Check Live Prep with a live dealer. New players, $30 coin packs are on sale for ten bucks. Play spinquest.com and you'll never be bored again.

11:27Spinquest is a free to play social casino. Boydware prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. Well, I'm afraid the town council was no help. They just remain insensible to reason. Well, I'm afraid the only thing those gentlemen understand is money. My dear Dr. Benzinger, the smallest bit allowed in Mr. Harvey's establishment is approximately the same as your monthly salary. Oh. Dr. Morton, suppose the gambling operators were suddenly to lose a great deal of money. They never do. Of course, with the ordinary layman playing against them. But suppose the best scientific brains were to concentrate on a simple matter like their probabilities of a given roulette wheel. Or the combinations and permutations applicable to a game of poker. We could put the main computer on it. Dr., are you seriously suggesting? I think he's got a point. If we could give those casinos a shellacking, they might stop the fireworks just to get rid of us.

12:40Now, let me get this straight, Doc. All you eggheads up there made up a kitty to get into a crap game? Well, that's right. I thought you might direct me to the largest establishment than Mr. Harvey's place, I believe. I looked out there, I'd come over here. Now, over here in the corner. Now, look, I'm a pusher. See, my job is to take these tourists by the lapel and shove them in front of a dice table quick. Before they spend any of their letters foolishly on food and lodging. But these wolves, they come here expecting to get to it. They don't miss it, you understand? It's all a part of a good time. But you guys out there running your Harvard peek-a-boo racket, you're different. Now, what do you want to get mixed up in this for? You take your peanuts home and shove it in a piggy bank, save up and buy yourself a new telescope or something. I appreciate your solicitude, Mr. Pusher, but I'm quite determined. Which way is Mr. Harvey's place? Well, if you've made up your mind, the bus leaves him right over there in about 15 minutes. Get around, trip ticket, because Mr. Harvey don't want no suckers stuck without they got cipher away from his place.

13:42I shouldn't worry about that. Frankly, I expect to leave Mr. Harvey flat broke. I'll see you just before dawn. I don't understand it. I just don't understand it. What happened? Luckily, a certain Mr. Pusher was generous enough to lend me $15 for a sandhack. Otherwise, I would have had to walk. Well, that was rather decent of you. Well, not exactly. He said he gets a percentage when he pulls in a ripe chump. You mean it's all gone? Every dollar. I just can't understand it. I kept careful notes. I followed the formula that was worked out by the computer. I calculated the odds by slide rule, carrying them to the fourth and fifth decimal place. I just can't understand it. Mr. Pusher said that I had a frigid digit. What? A cold finger.

14:44I get it. That's the opposite of the hot hand. But according to the game's theory is outlined in the last international Congress of theoretical mathematics. Unfortunately, at the last mathematical Congress, they weren't trying to make a poor the hard way. There they go again, sky rockets. I was hoping to get at least three plates in before they started. And the crushing blow occurred when Mr. Pusher offered to sell me my horoscope. No. Yes. He said anyone was a fool to get into a dice game if the stars weren't right. Now, there's an example of what we're up against. Many evil superstition, existing side by side, with hydrogen rockets and nuclear space drives joking. I'm not so sure. It might be a good idea. Dr. Morton sent for the staff's psychiatrist, Benzinger has scratched his reflector. No, no, gentlemen. Pusher was right. Every man who's going to gamble should have a horoscope. It's very important to know what the stars say. What are you talking about? And where on Mars is the place best equipped to tell you what the stars say?

15:45Oh, no. Dr. Benzinger. Gentlemen, I tell you it may be a stroke of genius. Hello? Is this the advertising office? This is Dr. Benzinger. I should like to place an ad. No. No, there will be no pretty girl. Just this. Free, free. For the first time ever, your horoscope scientifically cast by the staff of the famous Mars Observatory. Learn your luck, your future. Write or call Mars Observatory. No charge. No obligation. Yes, thank you. I'd like to run that every day until further notice. Pusher. Yeah, Mr. Harvey. Did you do like I said? Sir, I went out to the observatory just like you told me. You know, I had to share the sandhack with five other guys. I understand the bus companies putting a rod out there. A big crowd. Sure, Mr. Harvey. You know, them horoscopes are given there. The only thing on Mars that don't cost a tourist anymore. All right, all right. What happened?

16:45Well, when I got out there, it was his doc Benzinger. You see, all dressed up in a dumpscape with stars on it is something a big robe. They showed us all around the place. You never saw telescopes as big as that. All right, all right. Skip the travel line. All right. Well, finally, they took my name and my birth date, my collar size, and they run it through this computer. You should have seen that thing, lights and bells. I'm telling you, it looked like the biggest pinball machine you ever saw. I kept waiting for it to tilt. The horoscopes. The horoscopes. Yeah, well, they give it to me, finally. I mean, the first couple of pages is the ordinary Bushwa about the sun and the moon and the stars. But on the fourth page, that's the kicker. What'd it say? Well, it said that I'd be real lucky at most of the gambling places, but I'd lose my shirt at a bush. You're not going to like this. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. I'd lose my shirt if I played at Harry Harvey's place. Huh. Pretty shrewd. You know, for a bunch of scientists, they're pretty smart. That isn't going to work. Who knows, right? My eyes are going to pay attention to a lot of who we like best.

17:45Sure, Mr. Ali. Can I go now? What's your hurry? Well, I'm going over to purple flamingo to play a little poker. I mean, after all they say I'll be lucky any place but here. I mean, you know, you can't argue with signs. Gentlemen, I think we're on our way. I checked, Mr. Harvey's establishment. You could shoot an elk in the gambling room. Empty, eh? There was nobody playing but an elderly masochist who likes to lose. Dr. Morton, we have a visitor. Ben, singer, I have asked you please to take off that confounded astrologist head when you come into my office. He didn't even bother to see me. Oh, I'm sorry. But Dr. Allow me to present Mr. Harry Harvey. I have. How's business, Mr. Harvey? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, look, gentlemen, let's put our cards on a table. You put a hole in my pocket like I haven't had since I once ran into an honest police lieutenant in Cincinnati. I presume you've come about our horoscopes.

18:47Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's shoot or get off the foul line. How much? I beg your pardon. How much will it take to lay off? Mr. Harvey, just a promise. Why? You're on the town council, Mr. Harvey. Now, the next time the question of tourist entertainment is discussed, we want you to vote against any fireworks display. Well, sure. That's no problem. But look, I'm only one vote. Well, don't worry, Mr. Harvey. Every one of the casino owners on the council will have his turn to be mentioned in the stars. Yeah. You going to knock us off one by one like a flight of ducks? Well, that's the general idea. I got a hand at you. I got to take up my hat, sir, yeah. Mr. Harvey, we're desperate. We cannot afford to let the valuable and irreplaceable photographic plates be spoiled by fireworks. OK, you win. But listen, here's five bills. Five hundred dollars. But we couldn't take it, Mr. Harvey. I've already explained it. It's not for me.

19:47I want you to take a full page ad and do the purple flamingo in your next horoscope. I'd like to see Joe Rockle's face when he gets a load of it. All right, Mr. Harvey. We'd be glad to take him next. Oh, uh, and one more thing before I go. Can I look through the telescope? I never looked through one before. Well, that's the last of them. The red sands, frank lands, paradise, the Martian gardens, the two moons clubs, and the purple flamingo. Dr. Martin, we've got them all. We'll be a meeting of the town council a week from now, and after that, no more fireworks. All those beautiful stars and nebulae and not a missburg-gutton skyrocket to stand between us. Oh, it's beautiful. Gentlemen, I have some news for you. You have? I am in receipt of an interplanetary radiogram from my parent organization, the Harvard Observatory. Are they going to send the new mass spectroscope?

20:48Please, please. Martin. Earth newspapers carrying accounts of horoscopes published by your organization. Very unscientific. Harvard Board of Overseers are gassed. Must stop at once. Find other solution. Sign LK Bell Director. I thought Thursday was the regular day for personal message delivering. It is? Oh, Mr. Harvey. I asked Mr. Harvey to wait in the washroom. He brought the message down. Oh, sure. All of us have contacts in the radio office. We can get a hold of messages a couple of days before they clear. Did you come down to gloat over our misfortune, Mr. Harvey? No, no, no. You got my promise to help you, boys, and I'll stick by you. But the rest of them? Well, it's tough, fellas, but business is business. I'm afraid the fireworks will go on as usual. Thank you, Mr. Harvey. Look, what would happen if you brought all the boys out here? Show them around. And then you could offer the name of star after them or something.

21:48I'd sure like to be able to point in a sky and say, that's Harvey's star. Well, Mr. Harvey, I'm afraid any stars worth looking at with the naked eye already have names. Besides, Harvard Observatory wouldn't stand for this idea either. It would make as much sense to them as you naming a poker chip after me. But Dr. Morton, we've got to think of something. We tried rigging up a photoelectric cell. It closes the shutter when a rocket goes up, but it cuts the exposure time too much. But if we can't get these plates, we may not be able to duplicate them for years. By right now, they're preparing the first trip to a newly discovered planet. And the work of the observatory is necessary to ensure the success of that trip. I surely your colleagues will realize that, Mr. Harvey. The future of the human race is a stake. Dr. The only race those jokers are interested in takes place at Tropical Park. Look out there. They're starting the fireworks. All of them heading this way again. No, no, no, it's nothing personal. It's just that if we point them any other way, they're likely to splash people. Or maybe set something on fire.

22:49You mean if the rockets miss fired and get the tourists all wet, they would be troubled? Oh, sure. You couldn't have that. A guy with wet pants ain't going to stand around no crap table for hours. Mr. Harvey, do you really want to help us? Well, sure. I promised it, right? Dr. Spiegel, do you think the research library would have any material on pirate techniques? Bensinger, what do you have in mind? Well, Dr. Morton, I was thinking of fighting fire with fireworks. Careful with that, Matt, Harvey. Oh, don't worry. Well, the oxygen around here, you need a blowtorch light as cigarette. Have you got the rockets ready, Dr. Bensinger? Well, here they are in the launching racks. I've got all my instruments, compass, a clenometer, an asmethal radio scope and a blowtorch. Well, what are we waiting for? Spiegel, he's bringing the calculated trajectories from the computer. Say, I don't know if I like this. What if they miss? Well, they go off too soon or something. Oh, nonsense, Mr. Harvey. You forget. We're scientists.

23:50Here are the figures, Bensinger. We double check them on the master computer. All right, then. Let's go. They'll be starting the official fireworks in a minute. As a month, 360.3570. Check. Elevation, 4.9.3740. Check. That's corrected for wind, velocity, temperature change, and magnetic eddy currents. Are you sure you guys know what you're doing with them skyrocket? Don't worry, Mr. Harvey. They're going to explode in the Grand Canal and get everybody in the Canal Casino all wet. You shouldn't object. After all, it's your competition. Coming up to zero hour, Bensinger. Light the torch. Five seconds. Four. Three. Two. One. Fire. There they go. Ooh. Interesting effect. Purple color. Oh, do you like it? Yes. That was my idea. Radioactive fluorides. They're up over the town now. Hey, hey, hey. One of them's beginning to wobble. I can't understand that. The computer was absolutely certain. It's going over the south of town.

24:50Oh, the other one's tracking correctly on the radar. It'll hit the Canal Square. Yeah, but look, the purple one. There it goes. It hit. Looks like it's starting a fire. Hey, must have hit somebody's house. Hey, you can see it now. It's a house burning. Oh, dear, dear. There must have been a weak cube in the computer. Yeah, some guy's going to be real sore. I can see it real clear with the glasses now. That house on top of the hill there by the Geekopush. Boy, it's burning like... Mr. Harvey, what's in that head? That's my house. Dr. Benzinger, I've called you in to read a letter that I've written to Mr. Harvey. Oh, you know his address. I believe he's staying at his gambling establishment. His house was a total loss. Yes. Well, yes.

25:50This has been a very difficult letter for me to write. I believe the letter is academic, Dr. Martin. Mr. Harvey is outside. He is? With two very large gentlemen with bulging pockets. Oh, dear. I don't know what to say. Well, Mr. Harvey, what a surprise. You two ape's way outside. Now, Dr. Martin, about those fireworks. I want you to know I believe in direct action. I know like filling around. Well, of course not. I can tell I had some trouble with the bottom deal from Luna City. I didn't fool around. I sent him back to the moon in a cargo rocket. No way. How interesting. Now, about your problem. Are you sure? We apologize. I mean, apologize. That's great. I just remembered I left a few plates in a bar. I don't go away, Dr. Yorrin, on his two. No, there wouldn't be room. Not to talk for two of us.

26:50What are you talking about? Well, in a cargo rocket, especially without air. What? I'm trying to tell you. The council voted against fireworks. No, as a matter of fact, I have a very bad sinus. What? Oh, sure. We decided anything that could burn down and honor citizens' house was too dangerous. Very civic minded, that council. But I don't understand. I kept my promise. I said I'd help you and I did. Well, I'm terribly embarrassed. We were trying to get a collection among the staff to help you pay for your loss. But I'm afraid the total assets of the observatory wouldn't reconstruct your garage. But we held a staff meeting and we decided on a more permanent kind of remembrance. Mr. Harvey, on this photograph, you see this trail? This bright trail? Oh, one of them skyrocket again. I'm sorry. It's like it won't happen again. No, no, no. This is no skyrocket. It's a comet. It will be quite bright for several months.

27:50And we've decided to call it Harvey's comet. Harvey's comet? Yeah, that's real nice. Harvey's comet. Hey, Doc, you put me on top of the world. Them boys at the Canal Casino boasting about their new sign. But me, I got a comet. Harvey's comet. Why every sucker on Mars will see it every night. It's the best advertisement since they wrote seven down across the face of the world. Well, I'm glad that you're pleased. Well, as a matter of fact, I kind of heard about it in advance of one of your boys. You named the comet after me? Okay. I brought something for you. Yeah. Well, what is this? A poker chip for my place. Go ahead, read it. Harvey's club. Dr. Morton's poker chip. Five thousand.

28:51That's dollars, Doc. Don't spend it all in one place. You have just heard X-1, presented by the National Broadcasting Company, in cooperation with Galaxy Science Fiction Magazine. Your announcer, Fred Collins. X-1 was an NBC radio network production. Can you grab one more thing? I'll come back up pretty soon. At Amica Insurance, we know you'll always find ways to look out for the people you love. And with Amica Life Insurance, we'll help build a plan to make sure you always can. We're here to help protect the life you've built. Really? Amica. Empathy is our best policy. Visit Amica.com and get a quote today.

29:54I'm here with SpinQuest, where you can play and win from the comfort of your own home, with hundreds of slot games, and all of the table games you love with real cash prizes. Right now, $30 coin packs are on sale for $10. For new users, it's all at SpinQuest.com. That's S-P-I-N-H-U-E-S-T dot com. SpinQuest is a free to play social casino. Boidware prohibited. Visit SpinQuest.com for more details.