What's Your Sleep Score?

Here we go!

Broadcasting from Edmonton's Majestic Use Top Cap District.

It's okay.

If you're from a broken home, you'll be fine.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, it's not good.

Kids today with their in-line skates and their long boards

that roll over everything.

How are we weird and wild?

It works, but it's weird.

There's a line somewhere in there.

You gotta be careful not to cross it.

God, that's awful.

It smells like smoke coming off someone's ass.

How weird would that be if your neighbor's like,

hey, you want to come over for a tub?

And then you're like, you don't have a hot tub.

Oh, it's so good to laugh again.

My God.

Do people not know on that work?

This is the Gunner Andrew Show Podcast.

My name's Gunner.

I shouldn't be saying this, but here it goes.

I had a good sleep last night.

I know.

I feel like nobody ever wants to publicly state that,

you know what, I slept OK last night.

It was pretty good.

No one sleeps well, and we all feel the need to one up

the other person that says they didn't sleep well.

My wife and I do this all the time.

She'll be like, I slept like crap last night,

and before she's even finished that sentence,

I'm like, I slept for 11 minutes.

I don't know what happened.

I mean, the planet's aligned, I guess.

I slept for like six and a half hours straight left.

I don't think I even woke up once,

and that is not like me.

And now I'm sitting here with a pad of paper

and a pen just sort of writing down everything I ate,

everything I did last night,

so that I can try and repeat it again tonight.

But then I start thinking, if I do that,

and I figure it all out and I do exactly the same thing,

I'm gonna get all up in my head about it,

and my sleep expectations are gonna be way too high,

and I'm gonna sleep like garbage tonight.

We do all have that one per,

and maybe you're that person,

because I feel like I might be that person,

but we have that person in our circle

that will never let you claim the title

of having the worst sleep last night.

Why are we so bloody competitive about sleep?

And how busy we are.

I don't know who this person is,

but they texted and said,

Garner, you described my mother to a T.

My mom is retired.

She golfs, bowls, has card nights

with her closest friends every Thursday night.

She has a house cleaner,

but she will never let me claim the title

of having a worst sleep than her, LOL.

We were talking about that, the bad sleep, one upsmanship.

Somebody at work will come and go,

oh man, I slept like crap.

And then somebody else will, oh yeah,

and then they will try and outdo them.

I don't know what it is.

And I'm honestly, I have given this thought,

and I'm guilty of it too.

But I keep thinking back to the 80s and the 90s,

because I've been alive since way before then.

And I'm trying to recall

if people in those decades were constantly trying

to one up each other with tales

of how badly they slept the night before.

I think it might be a new thing.

A new wish thing.

And also tales of how busy they are.

Everybody's talking about how busy they are.

That didn't used to be a conversation, was it?

You're listening to the Garner Andrew Show podcast.

I got a couple of things I want to talk.

First of all, you saw the video, right?

The Leafs game last night.

Yeah.

Oh my god, I, this, it's hilarious.

So Ernie Clement, George Springer,

like Blue Jays superstars.

They were at the Leafs game,

and they're both wearing jerseys,

sitting in the stands and enjoying themselves,

and all of a sudden an usher comes up

behind them, taps them on the shoulder

and goes, hey, these aren't your seats.

They were on the aisle.

And he moves them back a couple of rows.

And now they're not in aisle seats anymore.

Like they're sandwiched in the middle of the row.

You know where nobody wants to sit,

even sport superstars.

But you know what they didn't do?

They didn't give the usher any attitude.

None of that don't you know who I,

they just quietly and respectfully,

they just got up and moved.

I loved that.

So I don't know how they ended up in the wrong seats.

You'd think that when you're George Springer,

you know, you'd have somebody guiding you to your seat

and putting you in place,

but maybe this usher had no idea who these guys were,

but I thought that was fantastic.

Well, I want to know who's seats they were in.

I know.

Because that means that person went to sit and,

oh, no, George Springer's in my seat.

And Ernie Clement.

What do I, I guess, do I just,

I guess I'll go talk to the usher.

I won't talk to them.

Do I just spend the rest of the game on the concourse?

What do I do?

They'll just do laps and watch the TVs.

Yeah.

I just thought that was a master class in,

you know, how to handle yourself.

Yeah, no one pulled out tickets

and started yelling.

Yeah, it was good.

It was popcorn.

It's the Gunner Andrews show podcast.

On the topic of, are you super competitive

with your beautiful, beautiful wife

when it comes to talking about

who had the worst sleep last night?

No, no, actually, because I heard this earlier,

I don't want to, I don't want to be that guy,

but I have pretty good sleeps every night.

They're short, they're very short,

but they are intense.

I am out and it's done, sleeps.

I don't know what happened to me last night,

but I slept like a GD rock.

I never sleep well.

And last night I got a solid six and a half hours.

I don't think I woke up once.

Wow, good for you.

And then, of course, though,

I don't want to talk too much about it

because I don't want people to think that I sleep well.

I don't know why.

For some reason, it's like my beautiful wife and I,

we're constantly, and I'm guilty of this.

She'll be like, oh my God, I slept like crap.

I slept for nine minutes.

Like I always have to one upper and how bad I slept.

When our kids were smaller and like getting up

through the night, that's what we would do.

Be like, oh yeah, I got to get up with her

at like three in the morning.

I was like, oh yeah, I was up with her at 3.30, 4.15,

and 5.8.

It's like you pull out a log book.

Yeah, me too, I got, yeah, me too.

I got up.

It's like a pilot tracking the hours out.

Yeah, I don't understand why.

And we all try and outdo each other

with how busy we are.

Yeah, it's like we all have a friend

that has to recite their entire schedule to you.

Like you just say, oh, I got a lot going on this, oh yeah.

Well, at 3.17 today,

like they, it's unbelievable,

but the, I don't know what I did last night.

It might have been like I ate dinner at,

I don't know, 4.30.

Nice.

Like a senior citizen.

Yeah.

Do you know what I had?

Senior citizen meal.

I'm gonna say a shepherd's pie.

No.

I wish I had a shepherd's pie.

No, I had yogurt with some granola in it.

A toddler meal.

And then I went and played pickleball for two hours.

Yeah.

And then when I got home from pickleball,

I ate a rice cake with some peanut butter on it,

showered and went to bed.

Oh, are you okay?

Is that my secret?

Are you gonna pass out?

Maybe you just fainted.

You didn't have a good sleep.

You fainted.

Yeah, maybe that's what it was.

This is the Garner Andrew Show podcast.

I think a lot of people are in relationships.

And it might not be with your partner at home.

It might be with the people you work with.

You get to work and everybody's trying to one up

each other without bad, they slept.

Somebody said, that's my husband and I every day.

No one ever has a better sleep than the other.

Yeah, you're not allowed to claim it.

Somebody else, this is Kyle.

I claim the crown of the best sleep every night.

I'm out in 30 to 60 seconds.

Ooh, basically as soon as my handsome little head

hits the pillow and I sleep straight through it.

You know, Kyle, it's because you're handsome.

You're not dealing with hideousness.

When you're handsome, you sleep like a rock.

You got no problems.

Yeah.

Somebody else, my husband and I compete

for who got the crap your sleep and who's more sore.

We're 49 and 54.

I also said, and maybe it was my age then.

Listen up, if you're in your 20s right now,

I'd be curious to know because back in the 80s and the 90s,

this was never a conversation.

People would go, I slept terribly last night

and then everybody would just sort of talk

about friends last night or whatever.

Yeah.

You weren't constantly trying to compete to see

who slept, and nobody's paying attention

when you're listing off how badly you slept.

No, no one really cares.

But in the 80s and 90s, nobody talked about this.

Or maybe because we were in our 20s.

Yeah.

Do people today, young people today,

are you all sort of outdoing each other

with how busy you are and how badly you slept?

I'd be curious to know.

Suddenly, this sounds exceptionally like a boring conversation.

Well, it's also because we're all tracking our sleep now too,

right?

Like, Apple watches and stuff.

So I get a sleep score every morning.

And it's like, oh, you had an OK sleep, 87%.

Is that good?

That's OK.

Yeah, what's your highest sleep score?

It, I got a 95 once.

Very good.

This is so lame.

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This is the Garner Andrew Show podcast.

My name's Garner, welcome to the show.

I, God, we've all become so competitive.

Sleep scores?

That's a thing now.

So Taylor just said that he tracks his sleep,

gets a sleep score.

When I was wearing my apple, I never did that.

I would always charge my phone on my watch overnight.

So I never knew what my sleep score was.

But now everybody on the text machine

is comparing sleep scores.

It's fantastic.

Taylor said he scored at 87 last night.

That's pretty good, isn't it?

Somebody else had apparently people can go to sleep,

wake up the next morning without ever waking up

in the middle of the night.

I know, it's so bizarre.

That was me last night.

I had a great sleep last night.

I don't know what I did right, but it worked.

I think I fell asleep just after nine o'clock

and I woke up just after 3.30.

So that's like six and a half hours, something like that.

I did not wake up once.

It was to the point that when I did wake up this morning,

I'm like, am I dying?

What's wrong with me?

I don't remember the night.

Somebody else said, as a mom in her late 20s

and working a full-time job as a teacher,

I am exhausted and anytime I mention that to anyone my age,

it instantly turns into a competition of who has it worse.

And yes, having a watch that tells me

my sleep score doesn't help.

See, okay, so people in their 20s are comparing sleep.

I don't recall doing this when I was in my 20s

and I just was trying to figure out if that competitiveness,

if that's a new thing.

Then again, we were also discussing people

who are way busier than you, we're all busy.

You were listening to the Garner Andrew Show podcast.

Welcome to the show.

My name's Garner Taylor is here.

What was your sleep score last night?

I just double checked, it was a 90.

Holy crap.

90.

Yeah.

Who gets a 90 sleep score?

I'll tell you who I nerd with nothing on his mind.

No troubles, no woes, nothing.

No, just six and a half hours, only one wake up.

Yeah.

What, oh, it tells you how many times you woke up?

Yeah, really.

See, now I'm tempted to put my Apple watch back on.

Do it just for the sleep.

Just so I can track my sleep at night

and have somebody confirm, yeah, Garner,

you slept like garbage.

I already know that, but last night,

and again, it's weird to talk about this

because nobody ever talks about what a good sleep they have,

but that was me last night.

I have a horrible track record for sleep.

It's terrible.

But last night, crawled into my little race car bed,

slept like a rock, six and a half hours straight,

didn't wake up once.

And it was to the point that when I did wake up this morning,

I was like, am I okay?

Like I immediately thought something was wrong.

So congratulations on your 90.

Thanks.

Everybody likes to be more tired than everybody else.

Somebody comes in to work, they're like, oh my God, I'm so,

oh yeah, I slept for eight minutes last night.

That's all I got.

And then they rattle off all the stuff they have to do that day.

Super competitive.

But do you compare sleep scores with other people?

No, because I don't, I don't know how many other people

have the exact same sleep app I have.

So I assume it's all different,

but I'm happy to compare if anyone thinks they can beat a 90.

Yeah.

Is anybody got better than 90 from last night?

Oh, someone texted theirs in an 83.

That's amateur.

I was going to say that's amateur hours.

That the same app you use.

You know, I don't know what that one is.

They had a lot of sleep though.

Wow, that's pretty, seven hours and 45 minutes

of an eight hour goal.

That's pretty good.

This is great, great radio.

We're going to, we're going to read for the rest of the show.

We're going to read everybody's sleep score out.

Somebody got a 96.

Oh, good for you.

Show your work.

Yeah, you can see.

You can just type any number into the text machine.

I need to see your work, pal.

Somebody said, good morning, gentlemen.

I like it when people call us gentlemen.

My husband and I have a competition

on whose family is weirder.

It's kind of a sliding scale type of measurement.

If something dramatic happens on one side of the family,

the scale slides slash gains points for that family.

Like that time, my uncle announced he was on Iver Mectin for COVID.

A few things have happened since then.

So the scale is pretty even at the moment.

That'll probably change at the next funeral though.

Everybody does everybody do that?

Where you try, it becomes a competition

to see whose family is weirder.

Does everyone do that?

Yeah, there's some of that.

Yeah.

I don't guess what Uncle Gary just did.

Oh, really?

Well, the Garner Ender Show Podcast.

On the topic of algorithms, I was bragging.

I got my algorithm all cleaned up.

It's like a fresh mountain stream of content.

There's, it's not tainted at all.

It's a thing of beauty.

It's like a meadow up there in the mountains

that nobody ever sees.

But deer and little gulfers, whatever lives in them.

They're all frallicking together in a field of wildflowers.

That's sort of what my algorithm is like right now.

It was polluted for a long time with death stuff.

Yeah.

I'd get videos of, this is how a crematorium works.

And they were very informative, very cured.

This is how we put a body in a casket.

It was like they wouldn't actually show dead people.

They would have a model in the sling thing

that they used to hoist you into the casket.

But I found that fascinating.

But at the same time, it's like this kind of dark.

Somebody said, Garner, you need two Instagram accounts.

I have two.

One is my personal one.

The other one I started from my business.

My personal one, I also have the algorithm dialed in.

My other, I will watch anything.

It's been to some crazy places, glory.

I know.

I can't manage more than one account.

I like the idea of having a burner account

just for an algorithm.

No, but I might have to start one.

I don't know.

It just feels like too much hassle.

It's like, which one was I watching the trash on?

What did I, when did I like that one on?

Yeah.

And like I said, I finally have my kind of dialed in a bit.

I get lots of art stuff, like tutorials on how to,

and I like that.

But every now and again, it tries to lure me

into a dark, dark alley.

But I'm like, no, algorithm, no.

And then I turn and run the other direction.

My mind has, like I said, it's gotten pretty,

most of the time it starts just feeding me

people that have made some absolutely terrible life decisions.

And I can't stop watching them.

Just like an entire face full of tattoos or something.

And I'm like, now I can't get a job at the bank.

They're not giving me a chance.

Like that kind of thing.

Like they're talking to the camera?

Yes.

Oh, wow.

Oh, yeah, it's weird.

The Garner Andrew Show podcast.

Look at everybody's sleep score.

Showoffs.

Somebody kept saying, because I told you what I ate for,

so dinner, I ate dinner at 4.30 yesterday afternoon,

like a senior citizen.

Yeah, that's right.

But in my defense, I had a pickle ball match at 5.30.

Yeah, so I had to fuel up.

I had to fuel up before the game.

But I ate yogurt with some granola in it,

which kind of seems a little scenery.

But then when I got home last night, I was famished.

So I stood at the island and I just did that move

where I just, I grabbed a bag of plain rice cakes

out of the pantry and the peanut butter.

And I, peanut butter on a rice cake,

showered and went to bed and I slept like a rock.

And everybody's saying, Garner, it's the peanut butter.

Have you heard that?

I haven't heard that, but I know a little protein before bed.

I know nuts before bed is supposed to be real good for you.

Yeah, I'm gonna just start eating a jar of peanut butter

every night.

That'll be good for me.

If I can sleep like I did last night again,

I don't know, I've been writing down all the stuff

I did last night to just try and do it all over again.

Now you pair that with your Apple watch, sleep score.

You can see if it works.

Yeah, I'm gonna get a 99 for tomorrow morning.

This is the Garner Andrew Show podcast.

My name's Garner, Taylor's here.

You're here barely because your sleep score is garbage.

I had no idea so many people were tracking their sleep score.

When I was an Apple watch guy, when I was an addict,

I, I would charge my watch over night so it would never,

so I couldn't use it to track my sleep score.

I'm thinking about putting it back on again though now,

just at night so I can have something,

an electronic device tell me that I slept like garbage.

It might help.

What did you, you scored 90 last night?

I got a 90 last night, yeah.

Which is weird because I only got like six hours of sleep,

but I'll take it.

Six solid hours.

Yeah.

Did somebody else have a 97?

Oh, somebody said they got a 100, right?

Yeah.

They got a 100 after they were at a hockey tournament

in Airdrie, came home, fell asleep at nine

and slept until eight.

Can we get some production?

I want a big intro.

I want a bed, a big triumphant musical bed,

and then every morning at maybe eight, 10

we'll do a sleep score of the day

and we'll get somebody on the phone

and we'll talk to them about their sleep score,

what they did right, what they did wrong the night before,

and that will be great radio.

Which is great, right?

Oh, yeah.

Thanks for listening to the Gardner Andrew Show podcast.

See music by Gardner Andrews.

Yes, the podcast, enjoy old candy in a jar that's unlabeled.

Mmm.

Mr. E candy.